The Creepslayerz Chapter 14: Holding On, a trollhunters fanfic

The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars was particularly inspiring. Got me pumped up. More importantly, I experimented with formatting in this chapter. I'm not sure if I've ever done 'time skips' in this story but it is usually '...' and there would have been like a million of them in this chapter and it would have just looked...bad. So I tried a formatting trick I saw in another fic one time. It was really unique and cool and I hope it has the right effect. If you don't like it I won't be using it again so it's alright. Enjoy!

"You." Steve's eyes are ablaze and there is a fire to his step as he makes a beeline for Jim the next day at school.

Jim looks up from his locker, confusion creasing his expression. "Wha-"

Steve seizes Jim by the collar and slams him against the locker. "You." He bares his teeth as he leans in an inch from Jim's face. "You and your crazy girlfriend. It's all your fault."

Jim grunts and a flash of fear crosses his face before his expression sets in a scowl. "What the hell?" He grabs at Steve's hands and tries to wrench his grip off. "What's wrong with you?" It's been forever since Steve has been antagonistic, let alone laid a hand on him.

"Hey!" Claire rushes forward and pushes at Steve. "Leave him alone, Steve."

Steve's eyes flash dangerously. "Butt out, crazy eyes." He releases a hand in order to shove her away. His eyes widen as another thought hits him. Right. "You aren't allowed to be anywhere near me."

Jim growls deep in his throat. He slams his foot into Steve's stomach.

Steve drops like a rock, gripping at his stomach and gasping for air.

Jim stands tall and holds his head high as he looks down on Steve. "Don't touch Claire."

Coach Lawrence bursts out into the hall. "What the heck is going on here?" He scans the scene and it's hard not to jump to conclusions. Almost as hard as it is not to run to Steve and check on him. Huh. Guess he's developed more of a fatherly instinct than he thought over these past few months.

Jim opens his mouth to respond, but he isn't given the chance.

Steve ekes out, "Jim attacked me." He coughs. "Kicked me in the stomach."

Jim's eyes bulge. "What? He attacked me first!" He points. "And hurt Claire."

Steve sneers in her direction. "She deserved it."

Claire's brow furrows. What…? What did she do to deserve a look like that?

Jim balks. There is something unsettling in Steve's eyes, something he hasn't seen before, not even when he was the target of all of Steve's hate. No, this…this is different. He can't quite call it fear or revulsion, but it is some dangerous mix.

Coach runs a hand over his face. He has no proof for anything Jim says. All he saw was Steve on the floor. Still, Steve is well known for pushing everyone around, as much as he wishes it wasn't true. "After school detention. Both of you." He points his fingers at the both of them.

Jim makes a sound in protest and throws his hands in the air.

Steve picks himself up and dusts his clothes off. He stares coolly at Jim for a long moment as he just stands there before him, then he walks off. To a class where there will be an empty seat in front of him. He grimaces.

Claire moves to Jim and lays a hand on his arm. "What was that about?" She frowns as she looks from Jim to Steve's retreating form.

Jim presses his lips into a thin line as he looks after Steve. "I don't know." But he is definitely going to find out.

"Hey."

Steve's voice sounds strangely loud as he speaks into the walkie talkie. Out of habit he looks up, double checks to make sure no one is listening.

Of course no one is. He is in the library after all.

He tried to hold off until lunch at least, but he found it impossible. He used the hall pass to leave the class right before lunch. He just needed to get away. Needed to talk to him. Or at the very least be able to pretend he is talking to him.

"I know you are probably devastated that your perfect attendance is ruined now."

He chuckles, a sad smile splitting his lips.

"But to make you feel better I picked up your homework. I'm gonna try and do it for you. Your grades'll probly drop a little. Okay, a lot."

He sets his expression.

"No. Not a lot. I'm going to find you before then. Like I said before."

His gaze flits to the clock.

"Gotta go. I'll talk to you later. Promise, Peppers."

Eli chuckles on the other end as he lays stretched out with his head on his hands. The thought of Steve doing double the work is one of the funniest things he's ever heard. That'll probably end quickly. Steve will drop it.

No. He shakes his head. It will end because he will be free. Yes. That's it.

Steve doesn't forget about after school detention. Like hell he would. That was all part of his plan. Sure, it was more than a little bit fueled by emotion, but the moment coach stepped onto the scene he realized he could turn it in his favor. So he did. He needed a way to talk to Jim, and Jim alone. Claire is a definite no-no.

So for the first time in his life he more than happily goes to detention. Luckily it is not with Senior Uhl, even better it is coach. His presence becomes more and more of a blessing every day. He'll more or less leave them be and let him talk to Jim as much as he needs.

Jim enters a minute later, his gaze going straight to Steve. He narrows his eyes and regards him with irritation. He even contemplates going and sitting on the opposite side of the room from Steve, but he knows that will accomplish nothing and with a heavy sigh takes a seat next to him. "What do you want, Steve? I have about a million other way more important things I need to be doing right now. So this better be good."

Steve bristles, but curbs his kneejerk reaction. No. It's trollhunter business. It is important. He knows it. But more important than Eli? If Jim knew about what happened he had better not continue to think that. "First, sorry for pushing your girl. And you for that matter. I just needed to talk to you and she…" he grimaces as those eyes flash through his head. "She can't hear any of this."

Jim makes a face. "What?" Although this proves everything in the hall was nothing more than posturing. Steve really needs to stop caring what everyone else thinks. If he wants to talk then just say so.

Steve sighs. He leans forward and lowers his voice, "Look, last night Eli and I were out. We were headed to a clearing cause of stuff we heard. Regular business. Then we saw her – Claire."

"Claire?" Jim's eyes widen.

"She was out walking alone and Eli, being the sensitive snowflake he is, wanted to check on her. When we did," he shakes his head, "she wasn't right. Her eyes. They were a super creepy yellow and the white were completely black. Freaked us the heck out."

Jim throws a hand up. "Woah, woah, wait. Are you telling me you saw this – Claire clearly not herself – and you didn't call me?" He stares in utter disbelief. "Are you out of your mind?"

Steve glares. "Well excuse me for thinking we didn't need someone to slice your girlfriend in half. Or do you have some other power I don't know about?"

Jim growls beneath his breath. "Fine. Whatever. Keep going." Clearly something goes wrong. Otherwise he wouldn't be talking to him at all.

"So anyway, we decided to follow her and did until she hopped through her little shadow portal thing."

Jim frowns and raises a brow. "That's it?" That has to be it. When Claire portals no one but her knows where she goes.

Steve smirks. "Nah, man. Eli is a genius. He has this thing that can track the particles her portals give off or something. So we did that and ended up and some old abandoned warehouse. And then-" His voice catches in his throat and his face tenses.

Jim watches him carefully. He doesn't dare speak.

"Then we split up." He shakes his head. "I let the idiot convince me it would be okay to split up. So I wasn't there. I couldn't protect him. And she took him." He clenches his fists and gnashes his teeth. "Your psycho girlfriend took Eli!"

Everyone in the room looks up at the outburst and the coach eyes them with uncertainty.

Steve breathes out deeply and lowers his head.

Normally Jim would chew Steve out for slandering Claire like that, especially since she was clearly not herself, but the guy is obviously having a hard time with this. He is in no position to offer comfort though. Instead he goes for diverting attention. "So was she possessed?"

Steve shakes his head. "Something like that. When she spoke it definitely wasn't her voice. She didn't act like her either. She…she even threatened to stab Eli." He feels sick to his stomach at just the thought.

Jim gapes and his eyes bulge. "Seriously?" Yet during the day she seems perfectly normal. Is normal. "Maybe it's a night thing," he thinks aloud. "In combination with her staff. If we take it-"

"No."

Jim starts.

Again everyone looks at them. Coach shoots Steve a sharp look. "Quiet down." If he gives the kid too many chances the other kids with think something is up and then Steve will throw a fit of his own. One more time and he'll have to do something.

Steve clears his throat. "I told you, she can't know about any of this. If you ask for her staff then she'll know what we're up to and I'll never find Eli. And if you steal it normal Claire will flip out and you won't be able to do anything to calm her down and when she goes evil Claire mode she'll probably just hunt us all down and get it back anyway. So no. No messing with the staff."

Jim contemplates him. "You've really thought this through."

"Of course I have." Steve glowers. "It's important." Eli is important. Plus he had all last night and today to do nothing but think. He did little else.

"Then what's your idea?" Jim shrugs. "What do you want me to do?"

Steve digs in his pocket and draws out a hairclip. "This. I may not be the smart one, but I know where he keeps everything and Eli is more than prepared for all scenarios. So I snuck into his house last night and got this. It's a tracker."

Jim regards it with heavy suspicion. "That looks just like one of Claire's hairclips." He shifts his gaze to Steve. "Why do you have a hairclip identical to hers?"

Steve blows out a breath. "Isn't it obvious? Just like he figured out how to track her shadow portals, he created a way so we could track you guys subtly if you started keeping us out of the loop or acting weird like, oh I don't know, right now." He shoots Jim a pointed look.

"No one should be this paranoid."

"Hey." Steve points. "It's only paranoia if it's not true."

Jim rolls his eyes. "Fine. But I want the ones you have for me and Toby in exchange. Now."

"Like hell. I don't know if this whatever it is will spread or not. So no. At least not until Eli's back." He'd give him anything in return for that.

Jim grumbles. "Alright. When Eli's back." He had underestimated just how much Eli meant to Steve. Sure they were both there that day to save the trolls, but he had never truly realized just how important that was. To him it was nothing more than happenstance. To Steve there was clearly no other way it could have been.

"Try to do it tonight." Steve looks hard at him.

Jim makes a face. "Tonight? How?"

"I don't know." He throws his hands in the air. "Make it a date or something. Give it as a gift and put it in her hair for her. Be all mushy or whatever, I don't care. Just make sure it gets there and stays. Then we'll know where she goes at night."

Jim swallows hard. He is almost afraid to know, both for Claire and Eli's sake. Where could she be going? The Darklands? He shudders at the thought. Even if not, it could easily be somewhere they could never hope to reach. No. No thinking that way. They'll get them back. Both of them.

"I talked to Jim Lame today. Wish I could tell you about it, but you're probably not the only one listening, so I'll just say I've got him working on it. Finding you."

He sighs, looking through glazed eyes at his tv screen. Waiting is horrible. He'd do anything to not think about Eli or anything at all. Used to it was so easy too. But now it is impossible. Everything happening on the screen might as well be a million miles away.

So he talks about the farthest thing from Eli's current condition.

"I tried doing your stupid math. It was stupid and I hate it. Way harder than mine and I can't even do that stuff. It must be a computer in that head of yours."

Eli grins. If only he could click that button. Reach those few inches. Respond. He'd give some kind of witty remark or rub it in Steve's face. Make things how they used to be.

Only he can't.

"I did the rest of it though so in your face, brainiac."

Steve laughs and it sounds so hollow as it echoes off the walls with no one there next to him to hear it.

"Tell you what. I bet I can get at least all B's on everything but your math. And if I do then you have to give me that Voltron figure you have sitting on your shelf."

"What? As if!"

No way Steve manages it, but Eli is not stupid enough to bet something so precious just in case. Crazier things have happened after all. Steve better not take his silence as acquiescence. That would so not be fair!

"Well…night, Peppers."

He says it, but he doesn't put the device down. He keeps his eyes fixed on it as if he half expects a reply. What a foolish thought. If Eli hasn't replied yet, he won't reply now. His heart sinks. What a way to end a day…

Eli stares wistfully at the device on his end, reaching as far as he can, wanting so badly to touch it.

"Night…"

Come morning Steve doesn't waste any time finding Jim, he doesn't even bother with theatrics. He just goes right up to him. By some miracle Claire isn't there, or maybe Jim sent her off, and a weight is lifted from Steve's shoulders. "Well?" He looks expectantly at Jim.

Jim looks over his shoulder, making double sure Claire isn't there. "Yeah, it worked. So however you plan on checking her movements you can do it now."

Steve smirks and chucks. "Excellent." He gives a thumbs up and turns on his heel.

Jim starts. "H-Hey! Where are you going?"

"Get Eli's homework for me, will you?" he yells back. He knows it's important to Eli, but if Eli had to choose he's sure the nerd would pick a handful of F's over being stuck as a prisoner for any longer than he has to be. So Steve prioritizes.

He ditches school and goes straight to Eli's house. He zips through the front and runs smack into Angie. His eyes widen and his heart speeds up. "Shit," he says on instinct. He has gotten so used to walking in and half living here at this point that it didn't even cross his mind to sneak up through the window. Damn, Eli has made his street smarts soft.

She frowns and crosses her arms. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Steve's eyes dart back and forth and his mind whirs. "What are you doing here?" Seriously? If Eli were here he would smack him.

Angie pins him beneath a disapproving stare. "This is my house. And you know I work from home."

Steve ducks his head. "Oh. Yeah. Well, um," he twiddles his fingers, "see, Eli forgot one of his books, so I came back to get it for him." He chuckles. "He's such a scatterbrain sometimes."

Angie laughs, a soft, melodic sound. "Yes, he may be smart, but he does have a tendency to be forgetful. You keep on him for that, alright? For me. He listens to you."

Steve swallows hard, swallows the rising guilt as he is forced to endure her putting her full faith in him. He doesn't deserve it. He really doesn't. "Yeah, course Mrs. P." He smiles and gives a salute before hurrying past her. He can't let her look at his eyes any longer. She might just be able to see the truth written there. He lost her son.

He slides into the seat at Eli's desk and turns on his computer. He doesn't know all the super techy stuff, but Eli forced him to sit through a few 'mandatory tutorials' as Eli called them. Thank God he did. He opens a program and executes a command, a map popping up once the text flits through. Right now the dot is moving, moving around the school. Right. Of course it is. He rewinds the time stamp and the dot backtracks, to her house, unmoving for a while, and then out. He brings it back so she is at her starting point in the house and then leans in close, watching as she moves. It's just as unpredictable as when he and Eli followed her-

Gone.

He jerks up straight and blinks twice. Where the heck'd she go? She just…vanished. He brings up a wider view of the map and scans the screen. No way. He goes so far as to find that same old factory that she led them to. Nothing. No. She can't just be gone.

He clenches his hand around the walkie talkie and it trembles. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply in and out. No. This is ok. This isn't a dead end. He doesn't even need to think of it as an obstacle. It's just something he has to think about, ask Jim about. There will be an answer. There must be.

"I did the thing. It…it worked. In a way. I just have to figure a few things out. Talk to Jim some more."

He runs a hand over his face. Really what he needs is to not think about these things. It's causing his anxiety to crop back up on him. He has gotten too used to having his peace of mind, of having Eli as his anchor.

"Oh, uh, right, I told your mom you were over at my house yesterday and that's why you never came home. She was kind of freaking out, the 'nice one'. Prison mom seemed to know what was up. She's cool. Definitely my favorite."

He grimaces and averts his eyes. He hates to say it. Hates to admit this might drag on longer than either of them wants. But he can't lie.

"I also said we'd be working on a project all week. That you'd be coming over every day. Staying the night. You know, just in case. A plan for every occasion."

He laughs, but it is a feeble sound.

Eli smiles, but the light doesn't quite reach his eyes. He feels it too – the wavering resolve. Steve is clever enough to frame it in a way Eli himself might when he is still full of faith, but Steve is not Eli, and he senses it even with only his voice.

"I gotta go talk to Jim now. Get this sorted out. He'll know how to fix this. So I…I'll talk later."

Eli dims further. The lie becomes even harder to swallow.

"Yeah, alright."

It's not like he has much of a choice anyway.

Steve books it back to school. He doesn't know why. It's not like Jim will drop everything and come to Eli's to help solve this. School is a thing that matters. At least to him. And on top of that he has trollhunter business. Geez, what was he even thinking, coming back here? No way this pans out like he wants it to. Jim has so much else going on.

Steve leans heavily against the wall of the school and focuses on his breathing. No. No. He has to remember. Jim is one of those weirdos who 'answers every call', no matter how they rank in the grand scheme of things. He breathes out heavily. That's right. Besides, he has to at least try. Giving up is absolutely not an option.

Now that he is here though he supposes he might as well focus on school. As much as he can manage with all that he has on his mind. It is only day two, yet he can feel himself slipping in more ways than one. He'll talk to Jim whenever he first gets the chance.

That moment comes in the last period of the day. They don't sit next to each other and Steve almost is angry at Jim for this, but then he realizes for the millionth time Jim has other things on his mind and that he must talk about with his friends. So he waits until the last minute of class, when the students are streaming out of the room and they are one of the last two left. He grabs Jim by the arm and tugs him back. "Hey," he hisses.

Jim glares on instinct, then his expression settles. He turns to face Steve. "Oh, right. You want Eli's homework?" He rummages through his binder to find the stack he accumulated for him.

"Yeah, but no." Steve takes the offer. "I went home and looked at where she went last night. And…" he averts his eyes and grimaces, hiding the pain in his face. "There was a point where she just…vanished." He shrugs. "I didn't know what to do. So I, I…thought I'd ask you."

Jim stares wide eyed. Wow. Just wow. It must have taken all the willpower in the world for him to muster up the courage to ask him, Jim Lake, for help. He would not have said no anyway, but no way he'd say no with that thought in mind. "Of course I'll help." He smiles.

Steve can't stop himself from smiling in return. "Thanks, man." He rubs the back of his neck. "Can you come now? It's at Eli's house."

Jim glances over his shoulder. There are things he needs to do. But… "Sure."

They drive on separate vehicles and this time Steve is sure to climb through Eli's window. He doesn't want to have to lie to Eli's mother again. It might kill him. He gets an odd look from Jim, but without much convincing he follows suit.

Steve ushers Jim toward the desk and pushes him into the seat.

Jim swats at Steve's hand and shoots him a scowl. He can understand the anxiety, but it's not helping anything. "Back up, will you? Your anxiety is giving me anxiety."

Steve scoffs. "I do not have anxiety." He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes.

"Alright, well, your hovering then."

Steve huffs and takes one large step back.

Jim rewinds the tracking data and lets it play through to the point where Claire disappears off the map. Steve doesn't say a word, but he doesn't have to, the tension becomes palpable and the air so much thicker. He tries a button. Rewinds it again. Again. Clicks another button.

Steve taps his foot, flicks his nails, but nothing drowns out the sound of Jim tapping away at the keyboard. Every second eats away at him.

Jim chews on his lip as he goes over what he knows about programming. Eli could have done any number of things with this, things he could only dream of doing, but hopefully he kept things fairly basic if he wanted Steve to be able to understand anything. So he tries one last option.

With a flash the little dot lights up the screen once more. He gasps. "There it is!"

Steve jolts forward and seizes the chair in a vice grip. "What? What'd you do?" His eyes widen and he sucks in a breath.

"I changed it to underground view." He chuckles at his own stupidity. "Pretty simple, huh?" At least it would be if either of them were at all competent with computers.

Steve claps Jim on the shoulder. "So where'd she end up last night?" He leans in for a closer look.

Jim shakes his head. "Doesn't look like anywhere in particular. But we can still check it out later." He doesn't think Steve should be going there alone both for his own sake and for Claire. There's no telling what Steve might be driven to do in order to get Eli back.

"Tonight," Steve declares, clenching his fists.

Jim frowns and turns his head to look at Steve. "Tonight? Don't you think we should watch her movements again to be sure she goes to the same spot?"

"No way." Steve looks hard at Jim. "I'm not waiting. The longer I wait the longer he's out there – scared, alone, and with that witch. If I have to, I'll go alone."

Jim presses his lips into a flat line and his brows dig deep onto his face. "Steve…" He should have known that pigheadedness he saw when he bullied would translate just as readily into his friendships. It's a bit more admirable, Jim supposes, but no less annoying in this moment. "You're not going alone."

Steve nods. "Good." He turns hard on his heel. "Meet you here at eight."

"Great news!"

Steve grins from ear to ear as he throws himself back onto his bed.

"We figured it out. We really did it. So just hang on a little long, alright buddy?"

Eli's spirit rises and he finds the smile he wasn't sure he could manage after the last time Steve spoke to him. Just a little longer, he says. He wonders how long exactly that is. An hour? A day? Regardless, he holds this newfound hope close and lets the glow swell and spread warmth throughout him.

Steve sighs. He clutches the walkie talkie close to his heart and his wide grin softens into a tender smile.

"I'm coming for you."

"I didn't get your homework today, Jim did, but I finished it and everything. See? Told ya I could do it. That figure is gonna be mine!"

Steve utters his typical conceited laughter.

Eli scoffs and scowls at the device on his end.

"It doesn't count!"

His rebuttal lacks almost all of the fierceness as the other day. He is far too concerned with the fact that the time must be nearing. Steve didn't say it, can't say it, but he might as well have. He is leaving his house and coming for him. It is time. And Eli's nerves are alight.

"Come and get me…"

They meet at Eli's house and wait for Claire to move, but even then they don't make the mistake of following her. That was what he and Eli did wrong. Steve knows this good and well, yet every moment spent waiting he fidgets and paces and just can't sit still. He is painfully aware of the fact he is driving Lake up the wall too, but that doesn't stop him either. He wants nothing more than to get to her final destination.

After what feels like an eternity, Claire stops moving. Exactly where she stopped last night. Steve jerks to attention and scrambles toward the computer, doubling checking it. "Alright. Time to go." He turns hard on his heel and leaps through the window.

Jim jots down the coordinates before running after Steve. If this wasn't going to be a one and done thing he'd seriously consider getting a leash for him. He's never seen Steve so high strung. It makes him all the more thankful he decided to tag along for this.

They find themselves on back roads and in a part of town that neither are familiar with – and they thought they knew everywhere! The houses in the area are tightly packed together, greyed, sagging, and not a single light shines from the windows. Does anyone even live here anymore? It definitely fits as a creepy dwelling for possessed Claire.

Steve's fingers tingle with anticipation, a stark juxtaposition to the tension and fear coiling in his stomach as they approach a manhole. They wrench it off and drop below the surface, flicking their flashlights on. The steady blinking of their destination coordinates on their phones beats in time to their hearts.

Only a little farther. Steve's breathing quickens. Little farther. He speeds up.

Here.

Steve stares into the emptiness ahead. His heart stops dead. Nothing. No. He jerks his gaze from his phone, up, to the phone, and up again. "No…" It can't be. "This is it," his voice is quiet.

Jim stands back, eyeing Steve with uncertainty. There's no Claire, so he need not worry for her sake, but that gives him about a million reasons to worry about Steve.

"This is supposed to be the spot," Steve's voice is louder.

Jim swallows hard. He can feel the tension rise and the air thicken at an alarming rate. It won't take more than a breath for it to snap. "Steve…"

"You said they'd be here." Steve smashes his phone against the wall. "That Eli would be here."

Jim grimaces. "I'm sorry, Steve. I-"

"Sorry?" Steve bites back. "You're sorry?" He clenches his fists and they quake. "Sorry doesn't bring Eli back."

Jim steels himself against Steve's words. "Steve. I don't know what's going on, why it says they're here when they aren't, but they aren't. And there's nothing I can do about it."

"You're the Trollhunter," Steve's voice cracks slightly through his rage. "You have to do something. If you can't do something, if you can't…" He sags against the wall of the sewer and presses a hand to his head as the weight of reality crushes him.

Jim looks on with pity as he witnesses the fight seep out of Steve, along with something he can't quite place. But it's frightening to watch, like a loss of faith. "Steve," he takes a tentative step forward and reaches out, lays a hand on Steve's shoulder, "I'm not giving up on him."

"How is there any hope…?" his voice is tight as he struggles to hold himself together in front of Jim. He is just lucky it is so dark. That is the only think hiding the tears as they well in his eyes.

Jim grimaces. "Even the word hopeless isn't without hope." It's the best he has to offer. No way he tells Steve that Claire probably has Eli hidden away in the Darklands. He didn't think that was even possible before. But pretending it is…that makes things all but impossible. He isn't sure they'll ever get Eli back now.

"I don't know what to do."

Steve chokes out. He lays a hand over his eyes as if that will hide anything. He foolishly shows his weakness, his uncertainty, his failure, puts it all on full display for Eli.

"I just…don't know."

Eli hears it and it's enough. His heart clenches and it is so much harder to breathe.

Steve forgets to release the button and his sobs trickle through the device.

"I tried, Pepperbuddy. I tried so flippin' hard. But you-you weren't there. You just weren't. So I don't know what to do. You're the smart one. Not me. I'm the idiot, damn it."

Steve clenches the walkie talkie tighter.

"I'm sorry. So sorry…"

Eli's heart splinters and silent tears stream down his face. He curls in on himself, shutting out all of everything. He doesn't want to see it and most importantly doesn't want to hear it. He'll do anything never to hear that voice on the other end again. No more false hope. No more lies.

"I didn't go to school today."

Steve sighs.

"I couldn't go to school today. I was a wreck. I haven't been this bad since…since a long time, alright? So you already get to keep your figure. I didn't get your homework. Sorry."

He realizes he could have used this to lighten the mood, but it's too late now.

"I…I at least hope you're happy about that. I know you liked that figure."

Steve musters a tiny smile. He doesn't know why he bothers. Eli isn't there to see it.

Eli doesn't react in the slightest. His eyes are dull, lacking all recognition.

He hears Steve's voice, but he might as well be a million miles away because it brings no comfort. Nothing does. And nothing will. Not until he sees Steve again.

Steve sits on the floor of his bedroom with his shoulders hunched and his head slumped forward. The curtains are drawn and all light extinguished from the space. The silence is heavy, almost as much so as his thoughts. His guilt. Sitting here is so useless. He is so useless. Yet his feelings weigh him down, hold him here like chains to the floor. He blows out a breath and he flinches as it reaches his ears, the sound like a gunshot as it cracks through the silence.

He slides his eyes to the clock by his bed. Noon. Has it really been twelve hours since he moved? Four since he spoke to Eli? He frowns. He should be out. Should be doing something. He isn't sure what, but he knows that anything is better than sitting and being saddled with these wretched feelings of uselessness.

The staff. The thought slithers through his head. That's right. The staff is how Claire gets everywhere. How she gets to Eli. He doesn't need to follow her. All he needs is the staff. He narrows his eyes and lifts his head. So that's exactly what he is going to do. He pushes himself to his feet and heads out without a second thought. When he throws the door open he shies away and covers his eyes with a hand to protect them from the piercing light. It might as well be as bad as a hangover. Only he doesn't even consider going back for his shades. He has plenty of time, sure, but the renewed fire in his stomach refuses to allow him. He hurries to his Vespa.

He drives to Claire's. Maybe he should be more afraid of someone being home and deep down perhaps there is a stirring of unease, but he doesn't focus on it long enough to let it take shape. He shimmies up the pole on her porch and onto the roof. He closes his hands around the window, pushes up, and lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when it pops right open. People in this town, he swears. It really is amazing they haven't been eaten by goblins or any of the other crazy supernatural creepers out there.

"Alright." His knees feel weaker as he stares at the expanse before him. It is so much bigger in that moment, the cabinets tower over him, the shelves are filled to the brim with everything falling over each other, drawers, so many drawers, and the clothes…they're everwhere. His fingers twitch. No. he can do this. He deals with his room every day.

He gets down on hands and knees and starts with the clothes. It'll help him get a clear view of the floor at least. He picks them up one piece at a time, jostling them to be extra sure there isn't anything tucked away in any of them before tossing them into the laundry basket. He'll dump them out again at the end. When he shakes one in particular a bra falls out and he snickers, a smirk curling his lips. Imagining the look on her face is priceless, but he doesn't linger long, throwing it away too.

It crosses his mind that leaving clothes scattered across the floor isn't much like Claire, but it is a fleeting thought. Stands and surveys the floor. Nothing. Because of course not. He breathes deeply in and out. On to the drawers. He pulls open the first one, rummaging through the contents. He drops each and every piece on the counter – lipstick, blush, eyeliner, mirror, tweezers – it's ridiculous how much product this girl has, but before long the items do shift. He starts to find bracelets, necklaces, rings, and even some earrings. He makes a face. Does she even wear earrings?

He reaches the bottom with a sigh and scoops it all back in. He moves to the second drawer. It's a mess of cords. So many cords. But as he scoots them around he notices things in the bottom.

"Damn it…"He tries to dig his way through the middle. Only one. He tugs. Just. Won't. He yanks with all his might and his hand ricochets off the side. He growls deep in his throat and seizes whole mess, slinging them across the room.

Steve's chest heaves and his arms shake as he stares through narrowed eyes at the cords laying limp in the floor. He's fine. He's got this. He drags his gaze back to the drawer. Coins. Coins and other stupid knickknacks. He sneers and kicks it closed.

He rips the last one out and dumps the contents. He scrabbles through the clutter. Digs bit by bit. It has to be here somewhere. God. Where the heck isn't she keeping the thing? Something like a scream leaps from his throat and he flings the mess two ways, clear across the room.

The shaking is even worse now. He can scarcely see straight. But he must keep going. He must. He goes to the shelves. His fingers fumble over everything as he checks. He knocks over books, movies, stupid stuffed animals. With each mistake his tremors worsen. Gotta hold it together. Gotta find this stupid staff.

Then he hits the crystal cat.

It hits the corner just right and a crack splinters its ear.

Steve stumbles off the bed. He grips his head and digs his nails into his skin. Holy shit. He's such a moron. Thinking he could do this, something so simple as finding the damn staff. He laughs, the sound bitter and biting. "I can't do anything. I'm useless. So worthless." He knees wobble beneath him as his world caves in from all sides.

He's sliding. He grabs for his pocket, for his tether in the storm of his mind, but finds only emptiness. His heart skips a beat. He scrambles for the other pocket. Nothing. He left it. In the floor. At his house.

And with no one to talk to, he plummets. His legs give out and he sinks to the floor, pressing his back hard against the wall. He swallows hard, makes one last bid to breathe normally, but then he hears his voice – his father's – all by yourself. And the darkness rises up and swallows him whole. His breathing intensifies, comes short and rapid. The quaking in his arms spreads throughout his body. Couldn't save him. Couldn't save me. Steve whimpers and shies away as Eli's voice attacks him too. All your fault. All your fault. Tears stream down his cheeks and he chokes on sobs, chokes as it becomes that much harder to breathe. Gonna cry? Wuss.

He draws his knees to his chest and curls in on himself. "I'm so-o-o-rry…" Not sorry enough.

He lets the pieces of himself fall apart alone on the bedroom floor.

"I lost it."

Steve's voice is empty.

"I didn't have you there and I just…lost it."

Steve breathes deeply in and out. He has had to do that more frequently these past few days.

"I miss you, Pep. I miss you so much."

Eli doesn't move. Not for a long moment. Then, slowly, he reaches his hand out and touches the tip of his finger to a rock. His eyes widen, his head snaps up, and every nerve stands on end. And for a breath he is alive, enough to mean the words he says.

"Miss you too…"

It won't be long before he sinks back into the fog. Before he returns to a state of numbness, where he can pretend that everything is alright. That Steve saved him, that he is home, and most of all where he doesn't have to be so alone. Afraid.

Steve sits in first period, tapping at his phone screen every other second. It's all he can do to keep himself from running out right here and now and hunting Claire down. But no. He's gotta keep his cool. He has to hold it together. Unlike that day in her room. He grimaces and shudders at the thought. Especially now. This is in front of people.

"Hey," a hushed voice floats to him. "Where do you think Eli is? He hasn't been here all week."

Steve goes rigid and his grip tightens around his phone. When Eli is the talk of the school, it's never the good kind.

"Could be sick," someone offers with a shrug.

Another scoffs. "Wouldn't be surprised if he's hiding from a beating, the little coward. I hear Eric's looking for him."

Steve gnashes his teeth.

"Ha. That figures. What a wuss."

Steve's eyes catch fire. Wuss. Wuss! Wuss. He jerks around and snarls, "Shut up."

The class goes dead silent. All eyes snap to him.

Steve breathes deeply in and out. On some level he realizes his outburst needs an excuse of some sort, so he babbles out, "You're so loud. Giving me a damn headache. Dumbasses." But he doesn't lessen his glare, if anything it intensifies.

Coach's eyes catch on Steve's hands and alarms go off in his head. The kid has started to scratch at the backs of his hands whether he realizes it or not. He knows he needs to ask, it isn't a question, but he isn't sure how to do it without singling Steve out in the way he always hates.

That's it. Steve shoves himself to his feet. He locks eyes with coach. "I need the hall pass," he says through clenched teeth. It's close enough to the end of period. And he needs to be sure not to miss her. He has to be waiting. His scratching gets worse.

Coach sighs. He can't help but wonder if this favoritism will one day backfire on Steve. "Fine, take it."

Steve doesn't bother. He never does. He rockets from the class and to Claire's locker. He continues to scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

He just needs to keep his hands off that locker, more specifically the lock. He wants so badly to break it, to get in there. Sure, odds are it won't be in there, just like her stupid room. But-but-

He lets out a shuddery breath. He needs to try everything. If he doesn't that will only be one more thing for his conscience to hold over him.

The bell splits the silence and he jerks to attention.

The students spill out. Fill the halls. So many. Yet that strand of white stands out in the crowd. She's coming. Here it is. The moment.

"Claire." He steps toward her.

Claire regards him with uncertainty.

Steve eyes her just as guarded. He searches for that spark, the darkness lurking just below the surface. "I need to see your bag." He knows what he told Jim, but it is his only choice now. "Please." He clasps his hands.

A smirk twists her lips and specks of yellow sully her normally brown eyes. "No."

A shiver races up Steve's spine, his heart skips a beat, and his eyes widen. No. He narrows his eyes and grits his teeth. He won't be stopped. He springs forward and seizes the strap, tearing with all his might.

"Let go!" Claire yells, pulling against him.

Steve flinches. It is very much her own voice. This doesn't bode well for him and he can already feel a hundred eyes on him, but there's no stopping now. He winds around behind her. Forget the bag. He dives into the right pocket and his hand closes around something solid.

Claire twists her arm up and seizes a fistful of his hair, yanks. "Drop it."

Steve responds by head-butting her in the back.

Claire flips her leg forward and slams it back. "Rule number three," she hisses.

Steve gasps and collapses. Now her voice is wrong. This isn't her. This isn't her. He screams it to himself. He has to remind himself of this to keep himself from doing something he'll regret. God does he want to do something. Deck her. Lay her out. No one treats him like this. Not anymore. But no. Not her. Not her.

She turns. "I said." She drives her foot into his stomach. "Drop it." Again. "Drop." Again. "It."

Steve waits for another kick, for her to lift a foot, then uses a hand to side swipe her.

Claire wipes out.

Steve heaves himself up, stumbles and shoves through the crowd.

"Steve!" he hears the voice distantly. Jim? Maybe. Probably. Angry? Who knows. He doesn't care. He tightens his grip. He has the staff. He has it. Now all he has to do is use it. Get away from all these prying eyes and make a portal, not even a big one, just one big enough for him.

He runs, runs and runs and runs until he reaches a place secluded enough to try. There he lifts the staff far ahead of him and lets out a heavy breath, his gaze fixed on it. Right. Emotion. The strongest ones. He lets his eyes fall shut and steels himself against the pain of his childhood as memories flood him. Punches. Kicks. Bruised eyes. Bloody lip. Screams. Tears.

His hands tremble as the blackness crawls up the staff.

Worthless. Never quite good enough. Towering figure. Gravelly voice with words spat like venom. Face shoved into the dirt. He peeks to see that the blackness is only halfway there. He deflates and the energy fades slightly. No. No. No. What emotion could possibly be stronger? He scrambles to find the solution.

Then it hits him. He shifts gears, to memories that are fewer but that are infinitely more precious. Showing the goblin to Eli that first time. Him believing. The gruesome. Eli's terrified voice over the coms. The initial spark of Steve's protective instincts. Eli calming him with just the sound of his voice. That was the first time, but not the last. Meeting his parents. He smiles. His funny, nice, caring parents. Eli's acceptance of him even after he laid a harmful hand on him, his forgiveness, his…everything. Eli's presence fills him up.

He gasps. It does the same for the staff. He nearly fumbles it in his excitement and points it in the distance, focusing his energy. It shoots and he goes flying back from the recoil, digging his heels in to stop himself. But there it is. He stares wide eyed and slack jawed. The portal.

For a long moment he doesn't even move. Then he shakes his head fiercely, shakes away the daze, and charges through the portal. On the other side there is a massive skull staring down at him, piercing his soul not unlike Claire, and he falters. Atop it strange woman set ablaze.

"So. You managed to get here after all," it is a familiar voice, a familiar sinister curl to her lips.

Steve is terrified to look away, but he must. He must find Eli. So he tears his gaze away and gasps, the staff clattering to the rocky ground at his feet.

Lying sprawled out on the ground is Eli. His eyes are closed and he isn't moving.

Steve's heart stops dead. "Eli." The scream rips from his throat as he races toward him.

At the sound of Steve's voice it is like an electric pulse is sent through every nerve in his body as he is jolted to attention. "Steve." He scrambles onto all fours.

Steve's eye catches on the circle of rocks and he kicks them out of them way before dipping down and enveloping Eli. "Eli," his voice is breathy. "Eli."

Eli presses his face into Steve's shoulder and digs his fingers into the space between his shoulder blades, holding on for dear life. He has so much he wants to say, so much he planned with all the time he had stuck here, but in the face of the moment it all crumbles. He crumbles. His body is wracked with sobs.

Steve runs a hand over Eli's head. "It's alright, Pepperbuddy. It's alright now. I got you," he says it for Eli almost as much as he says it to steady himself. He needs to believe it. He drags his gaze up, toward the blazing woman. After all, they are still in this crazy place.

The Pale Lady grins down at him. "You can have him," she assures. "The lengths you went to for your love have more than impressed me." Fed her for a long time to come.

Steve doesn't give her time to change her mind. He scoops Eli up as he springs to his feet and sprints, shivering as he is forced to turn his back to her. He dips down and nabs the staff as he passes, running close to the edge of the platform. Far from her.

There he kneels with Eli, keeping one hand planted firmly on his arm. The other he holds the staff. He focuses his thoughts. Emotion. Only this time he knows the most powerful ones. The effect is instantaneous. But he needs a new anchor. Anchor. Anchor. Anchor. Jim. He shoots, leaps to his feet, and plows through.

Steve tumbles out along the ground, his roll stopped only as he hits a tree. Tree? He groans and unfurls, peering up through bleary eyes to see exactly where he landed.

Jim stands over him. Something between anger and relief is written across his face.

Steve isn't sure what to make of it, not until he sits up and registers the weight in his arms. He sucks in a soft breath and starts to attention, holding Eli tighter to his chest. "Eli." God why can't he say more than that?

Eli only responds by balling Steve's shirt up in his fists. He doesn't have the energy to muster anything more.

Jim sighs. "So you did it. You saved him." He can hardly be mad when faced with this end, especially not as he looks on at Steve running a hand over Eli's head to soothe the small boy's shaking. And those glassy eyes. Sure, there may not be tears yet, Steve is holding it together for Eli's sake, but it speaks just as loudly as all the tears in the world. It holds Jim at bay. "Just give the staff back." He holds a hand out.

Steve tosses the cursed object without taking his eyes off Eli. He doesn't need it. Doesn't want it. All he needs is the boy in his arms. The beat of Eli's heart steadies his world and for the first time in a week he breathes easy.

And that's it! Sorry, the Claire and Pale Lady stuff aren't being continued. Not gonna lie. Those were basically means to an end. I wanted a kidnapping plot and a way to get an emotional hug. Honestly I could have turned this Claire-Pale Lady thread into a story all its own, but I don't want to be confined like that. I want to be able to do any kind of moments I want depending on my mood. So yeah. Sorry if you were really wanting any kind of resolution on their end. I may continue the emotional effects this has on Eli though. I hope you liked. Please review!