# 14 - Of Jealousy and Misery
Lavinia's POV
Lavinia rose from her chair to go take a look outside. She hadn't noticed until now that it was getting dark. She had been reading one of the books that Major Tallmadge had brought her, but she failed to concentrate. It had been going on for a while now. She didn't know how many times she had reread the current page, and in the end she gave up.
She had had plenty of time to read, though. She liked reading, but she was feeling bored. No one had been to see her for a couple of days, except for a servant bringing her a meal three times a day. Once, she had asked one of the guards to go for a walk with her, but it just wasn't the same here. The camp was much bigger than before, and the chances of running into anyone, who would actually want to talk to her, were rather small.
"Excuse me?" She asked the guards outside. She felt silly for asking, but she had to know. Both guards turned around to look at her. "Would you take me to see Major Tallmadge, please?"
"He's not here, miss." One of the soldiers replied. He was young - probably a few years younger than herself. She had seen him a couple of times before, but she didn't know his name.
She was a bit disappointed to find out that the major was not available, and she was just about to inquire about it, when the other - somewhat older - soldier beat her to it.
"He's not? Where's he gone off to? I haven't heard anything."
"Secret mission, I suppose." The first one replied and obviously tried to signal to the second one that Lavinia was listening.
"Ah, yes…" She tried. "I haven't seen him for at least three days. Do you know how long he'll be gone?"
"He only left yesterday morning. You've seen him, haven't you?" The young soldier asked skeptically.
"Yesterday morning?" Lavinia feigned surprise. "Oh, of course. Yes, he did mention that he would have to leave for a while. I forgot."
"But he can't have, miss. He only got the letter right before he left."
"The letter?"
This time, it was the older soldier's turn to eye the young one in a reprimanding way, although the latter didn't seem to notice.
"I don't know what it said, but, apparently, it was something important. He just said he'd be back today, and then he left with Lieutenant Brewster."
"He said he'd be back today?" Lavinia asked with a frown. "It's rather late already. Are you sure?"
"That's what he said, miss."
"And you're saying too much, you idiot!" The other soldier said. Finally, the young one seemed to get it.
"I'm not saying anything further." He said and turned away with a determined look on his face.
Oh well, Lavinia had already gotten the answers that she wanted. Except, she would've wanted them to be different.
She went inside again, sitting down for a while - thinking. She couldn't help but feel a bit worried, as the major wasn't back yet, when he was supposed to be. What if something had happened to him? If he never came back? Of course, she only worried what would happen to her, if he never came back. Right?
For a while, she had been angry with him. She didn't like to admit it, but he hurt her. It was probably foolish of her, but she had thought they were getting closer. Like friends. And when he had asked if he could call her by her first name, she had been glad, almost happy, because it meant that he felt it, too. And then, like all of a sudden, he took it back and walked out on her. It hurt, because she really needed a friend, and he had taken that away from her.
And then, when she heard the rumors about why he had gotten into that fight, she felt bad for being angry with him. He had only tried to protect her honor. Well, maybe his own, too, but that's not what the rumors said.
She had listened in on a conversation that the guards posted outside had had. They forgot to consider the fact that she could hear much more than what they intended through the canvas of the tent, and she did nothing to let them now. It was her source of information, when no one else would tell her what was going on. That's how she knew about the embarrassing rumors, though she pretended not to have heard.
When General Washington had requested her company for dinner, she had been terrified. She didn't know why, but she had. It comforted her to find out that Ben - Well, Major Tallmadge - would be there, too, although the dinner had been pretty awkward. He had seemed uncomfortable, but who wouldn't be in the presence of someone like General Washington? And then again, it had seemed like more than that. Or like something else, at least. Somehow, he had seemed almost jealous. But could that really be the case? And why would he be? And jealous of what exactly? Surely, he wasn't jealous because of the interest that the general showed in her? He was just being polite and sociable, and, besides, what was it to Ben? He didn't care for her like that, anyway. She always teased him. If anything, he would find her annoying.
She really should to stop teasing him all the time. It wasn't fair. But it was so easy, and she loved the look on his face, whenever she would give him a peck on the cheek. But after the rumors… Yeah, she would definitely have to stop. She didn't want to make his men laugh at him and make him miserable. After all, she did sort of care for him.
And the camp was so boring without his company.