"Oh, I wish I hadn't said that, but he makes me so mad sometimes!"
"It's all right, Ginger. Mrs. Howell says it's normal for couples to argue."
"But we're not a couple!" Ginger started crying again.
Mary Ann patted Ginger's arm. She thought that the Professor and Ginger could be a couple if they just gave themselves half a chance. Well, it was mostly the Professor's fault. Men could be so slow about such things, as she well knew from her experience with Gilligan. The Professor was book-smart but sometimes he seemed to know as little about women as Gilligan did.
"I'm sorry, Mary Ann. I didn't mean to ruin your shower."
Mary Ann shrugged. She had suggested the shower as a joke really, when she heard about the bachelor party. But the two other women had been eager enough to go along with it, Mrs. Howell especially. Mary Ann still couldn't get over the gift of the wedding dress. She was sure it was a priceless heirloom, but she couldn't really refuse it without hurting Mrs. Howell's feelings.
"That's OK. How about you show me the lingerie for my trousseau?"
Heartbroken though Ginger might've been, these were magic words. She turned out to have stockpiled an impressive array of unmentionables. Some started out life as something else, like the bra with S.S. Minnow across the front, formerly Ginger's dress made out of Gilligan's duffel bag. And others seemed to be adapted from various costumes that had washed ashore over time.
"This is one I swiped from Erica Tiffany Smith," Ginger said, holding up a lacy slip.
"Ginger!" Mary Ann scolded.
"Oh, come on, she never rescued us. I might as well have gotten something out of all those people who abandoned us."
"Too bad it was mostly men who abandoned us."
That set Ginger off crying again.
"You two will make up tomorrow."
"I don't know, Mary Ann, I just don't know."
"You'd better make up. We can't have the best man and the maid of honor fighting at our wedding."
Now Ginger laughed. "Aw, Honey, thank you."
"You're welcome." Mary Ann sighed. "Of course, I'm still not clear when the wedding is actually going to be."
"Well, the men will have to recover from their hangovers before they can build the wedding raft."
"Right." Mary Ann shook her head. "That was sort of unlike Gilligan to want a bachelor party."
"Well, he was probably doing it just because he knew that grooms are supposed to have them."
"Right," Mary Ann said softly.
"Are you thinking about what else he may be thinking grooms are supposed to do?" Ginger teased gently.
Mary Ann blushed. "Well, yes. I don't know what sort of advice the other men may be giving him, or what sort of expectations he may have anyway. And on the other hand, he may not see this as a real marriage."
"Do you?"
"I, I don't know. It's not a typical marriage."
Ginger laughed. "No, I don't think marriage to Gilligan could ever be typical."
"But once the preacher—I mean the Skipper—says those words over us, it may feel real. And, well, to be honest, I never saw my wedding night as taking place in a canoe."
"Maybe you two could spend your 'first night' on the island."
"In my hut or his?"
"Well, the Skipper could find other accommodations for the night."
"Ginger!" Mary Ann was shocked.
Ginger laughed. "No, silly, I mean he could bunk with the Professor."
"Oh, of course."
"But that does mean you'll still be spending the rest of the honeymoon in the canoe."
"Yes. Whether or not we, well, fool around. And even that's going to be an adjustment in itself." Sleeping with Gilligan, spending her days with Gilligan. And no one else around.
"Yes, it will be. Did you decide what you're going to do about your period?"
Mary Ann sighed. "Well, I was doing the math. We're roughly 500 miles from Hawaii, so if we don't get picked up before we get there, and we can do maybe 20 miles a day, that's 25 days."
"Why 20 miles?"
"That's what I saw in a book once, that that's a reasonable average for a canoe."
"Hm, 25 days. That's cutting it kind of close, since we just finished our periods yesterday."
"Right. And that's assuming I can get married tomorrow."
"Should I ask the men to rush the raft since you want to get married as soon as possible?"
"No!"
Ginger laughed. "I wouldn't worry too much about it, Honey. Your cycle may be thrown completely off without me around. Not to mention that being at sea may do funny things to it."
"Well, that's true." Still, it was not something she wanted to deal with in a canoe, with a man like Gilligan, who might not even know where babies come from. She wasn't sure if menstruation was a subject that the Skipper or the other men would broach. She decided she'd deal with it when she had to, and just be grateful that it was still a few weeks off.
"Well, if you're lucky, maybe you'll both drown before the 25 days are up."
"You're so comforting, Ginger."
"I try."
Mary Ann looked through the lingerie. "I'm not going to be able to take all this. And obviously I can't really take a trousseau on board."
"Well, how about just this?" Ginger held up a long flannel nightgown that looked completely un-Ginger-like and more like something Mary Ann's grandmother would wear.
"Where's that from?"
"Eva Grubb left it behind when she abandoned us. If nothing else, it'll be warm enough for the coldest nights in the canoe. And if Gilligan isn't ready to fool around, you might as well wear something no man could be interested in."
Mary Ann sighed. "OK, I'll take it."