DISCLAIMER: All recognizable story parts and characters belong to SM. All lyrical references and quotes are property of their original artist. No copyright infringement intended.

[Beta: TRDancer and AFWife]

AN: Songs listened to on repeat while writing: A Perfect Circle - The entire Mer De Noms Cd. Alexandre Desplat - New Moon (The Meadow). A Perfect Circle - Vanishing.

Thanks to OCDMess, my Grey Cloud.

*Warning. This chapter contains serious discussion about retrograde amnesia, illegal drug use, and PTSD. *

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distraction. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."
~Chuck Palahniuk

Vanishing
Chapter Fourteen
BPOV

Stupid. Stupid. STUPID!

How could I have been so stupid? I'd never felt like such a total and complete idiot. It turns out though, that if I hadn't apologized for being stupid, he would have never known I was being stupid in the first place.

Okay. Strike that. That was just confusing.

When I'd asked Edward if he knew where I lived, I had been so nervous that my palms were sweaty. Wasn't that something that happened to guys, not girls?

Too many movies and books, Bella.

Great. Now I'm talking to myself in third person.

Well, it turns out he didn't remember driving me home that day, either. I remembered it a few hours later while lying in bed. I had been replaying the entire afternoon in my head like a daydream when I realized it. I then proceeded to spend the entire night feeling like an idiot, thinking that Edward thought I was a moron, and he had just played it cool so I wouldn't be embarrassed in public.

I don't know how I talked myself in to bringing it up on Tuesday. It was like social suicide or something. Death by embarrassment. That happens, right? Then he didn't remember, and I started rambling, like I always do and it finally clicked for him but I could see that something was wrong.

He was on something.

Wonderful.

That's when the note passing started. I tried to be nice, and I think it worked, but inside I was seething that he was still doing drugs. He said it was legal – a prescription – but I had my doubts. Who would give out a prescription that made someone look like… well, let's just say Edward didn't look good lately. Even Jasper was looking bad lately. Maybe they were both doing it together?

Alright, just stop thinking, Bella. Always assuming the worst. They're not your concern.

I huffed and tried to push Edward out of my thoughts. It was Friday and I was still feeling stupid about Tuesday. So many other things had happened, so why did my mind keep returning to Edward?

I sighed, avoiding the question, and thought about Alice instead. She was mad at me for turning Yorkie down for the prom, and he was a senior. She argued that he could take me to both proms; junior and senior, and then I could go to Senior Prom again next year. She squealed at the idea of going to multiple proms, whereas I cringed.

She was still pretty hung up on Jasper, but she wasn't crazy enough to let Rose or Emmett even think that they were friends. She had resolved to wait until the summer to start talking to him, but that didn't mean she wouldn't stop talking about him and what he was wearing or how he looked at her.

I couldn't silence my mind long enough to really sleep, so I tossed and turned and finally got out of bed around five in the morning. I felt ill and I didn't know why, so I took a warm shower in hopes of feeling better. It helped, but I still felt out of it – not myself. I took my time getting ready for school, passing the time slowly and really wishing it was the weekend.

I twisted my hair as I dried it, putting a gentle wave into a few strands sporadically. Alice showed me how a few months back, but I never took the time; I preferred sleeping in. I sighed at the idea of having to listen to her whine about not seeing him during spring break as I turned off the blow dryer and began brushing my teeth. Charlie had already gone to work, and I really didn't feel up for breakfast. He had been going in early the past few days because of some crime spree in Seattle. Why an officer from Forks had to help with an investigation in a city over two hours away was beyond me.

I finished up in the bathroom, grabbed my iPod and bag, and headed downstairs. I stared at the white board for almost fifteen minutes, trying to think of how to put my feelings into words. Charlie had written the word anxious for yesterday, and I envied the fact that he only had to come up with one word.

New beginnings; start.
Past is linked to our future.
But who draws the line?

I searched through my iPod for A Perfect Circle's Mer De Noms CD, and pressed playbefore I put the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life as the first song on the album hummed in my ears. The drive to school was calming after the long, restless night I had. When I parked, I noticed that Jasper's car was already there, but Edward's wasn't. I ignored Jasper's gaze as he stood leaning against his car and walked straight to my locker with my head down.

"So if you aren't going to the prom tomorrow, did you want to do something? Hang out maybe? Catch a movie?" Alice asked as I closed my locker door. She was holding her first period book close to her chest and pulling on her lower lip. She looked upset. Really upset, and not the whiney, "my eyeliner pencil broke" kind of upset. I fought back the urge to change the subject and ask her what was wrong.

"I… I can't, actually. I promised someone something," I said, stuttering and trying to avoid any specifics.

It didn't work.

"Who?" she asked, shaking on my arm. Her eyes were wide, and she was sporting her enthusiastic grin. At least she didn't look so glum anymore. "Come on! Tell me, Bella!"

I sighed, rolling my eyes as a smirk slid up one side of my mouth. I couldn't control it. "Edward," I mumbled, my cheeks instantly warm at the mere mentioning of his name.

"No way!" Alice shrieked. She squealed a bit as she bounced on her toes and then quickly looked back and forth to make sure no one was listening. "Tell me everything. Lunch!"

"Ali," I groaned, coming to a stop in front of her first period class.

"Bella, please?" she whined, but the smirk was still as wide as ever.

I huffed, pulling my book closer to my chest and looked down. "Fine."

The same high pitched squeal rang in my ears a second before the actual bell rang. Alice's face turned from excited to horrified. "Crap!" she said before turning to run down the hall to class.

I chuckled as I took my seat. Class was easy; Friday's usually were if I had spent the week studying properly. My only concern was trigonometry third period and fifth period with Edward, but for entirely different reasons.

After class, I gathered my things and headed for third period. While walking across the campus, I spotted Jasper under one of the trees, typing something out on his phone. He looked really frantic or upset, but I couldn't quite tell. He looked up suddenly, glancing in all directions as he stood up on his tiptoes to get a better view. He huffed and ran his fingers through his hair before slipping his phone back into his pocket angrily. He pulled his back-pack higher up his shoulders and stormed off toward the first building.

It didn't take rocket science to figure out who he was probably texting. Chances were it was the person I hadn't seen all morning. Edward.

I slipped through the door for class seconds before the bell and took my seat. I took my time with the trigonometry test, using up the entire class period to triple check my answers. Even with all the time I had put in to it, I still didn't feel confident. Something felt wrong, off kilter, and I couldn't shake the edginess I'd had since I woke up. I could only hope the day got better.

Spanish was relatively stress free; it was during lunch that my nerves started to kick in. Alice wanted me to tell her about my non-date with Edward tomorrow, but I didn't know how much I could tell without it being too personal or breaking his trust.

"Spill everything!" she exclaimed as she slid her tray on the table and took her seat.

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. Here goes. "Alright, so he said something to me on Monday during fifth period and we got talking. He apologized and then… well, it's hard to explain. He said that if I went out with him, somewhere more private, that he would answer my questions." I chewed on my lip nervously.

"But what is he going to tell you? Is it a date? Is it like twenty questions with no restrictions?" Alice began spewing questions faster than I could open my mouth to respond to them.

"Slow down, Alice! No, it's not a date. Don't use that word. It's dirty." I took a deep breath and looked down at my lap. "He didn't say what questions; he just said that he will answer them in a more private setting. Look, please don't tell anyone about this, especially him. I don't want him to think he can't trust me with his secrets." I looked at her sternly as she wiggled in her seat, clearly not paying attention to my request.

"You have to ask him about Jasper!" she whispered enthusiastically.

I rolled my eyes again and pulled my backpack onto the bench beside me. I had just retrieved my pen and notebook so I could start making a list of questions when someone cleared their throat beside me. I jumped in my seat, dropping my pen as I glanced to my right side.

His clothes looked more wrinkled and dirty than usual, and his hands were slightly shaking with scrapes across his knuckles. As my eyes trailed up, I gasped. "What happened to your lip?"

Jasper looked down, his jaw clenching and unclenching as if he were forcing himself to not say anything. He bent down quickly, tucking his honey locks behind one ear as he stood with my pen in his hand. "You dropped this," he said in a tense whisper.

"Thanks," I said softly, my eyes never leaving his face. "Jasper?" I asked, reminding him of my question.

"It's nothing. Look, have you heard from Edward at all? Not just today, but at all recently?" he asked. He was jittery and glancing around the cafeteria at the exits. He looked really upset.

"Uh, no. I haven't. Well, Monday and Tuesday in class, yeah, but not since. Why? Jasper, what's wrong?" I glanced at Alice. She had a look of shock and concern. I frowned when she looked at me, and she nodded her head. She was worried too.

"What did he say those days? I need to know everything, Bella. Please, it's important."

"I, well, it's kind of private—"

"Fuck private!" he spat. He ran his fingers through his hair and huffed. He was clearly freaked out, and it was freaking me out.

"Um, he asked me to go with him to La Push tomorrow. He told me he would explain everything then and he apologized. He mentioned he was taking a prescription for something, but wouldn't say what. He said for me not to worry about it. What's going on?"

"Did he act weird? Did he cancel the plans? Anything?" he asked, pushing for more in-depth answers I still couldn't understand the point of.

"No, not really. He looked tired and really out of it. He didn't remember driving me home that day I got hurt, but when I reminded him, it clicked, I think. It was kind of strange. That's when he told me he was taking stuff," I told him as I got to my feet, zipping up my backpack. "Look, Jasper, whatever is wrong, I really wish you would just say it. Edward was going to tell me tomorrow, so it's not like you're betraying his trust or anything."

"Fuck trust. I don't even know where he is. He was late Wednesday, but this isn't like him. Usually if he ditches, he texts me and we get high together, but he won't respond to my texts. He knew today we had big tests, and he was freaking out about them the other day. Something doesn't feel right." Jasper pulled his phone from his pocket as he licked over his bruised, split lip. He flinched slightly at the contact but didn't make a noise. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and closed his eyes.

"We'll help you look for him after school," Alice said from beside me. I hadn't notice her get up and come around the table. I glanced at her and smiled, nodding my head.

"Yeah, we'll meet you in the parking lot after school. I have p.e. so I can get out early."

"Yeah, and I can just give Bella my bag between fifth and sixth and then excuse myself to the restroom near the end of class. Let us help, Jasper," Alice said calmly.

Jasper took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. I swear, if the fucker is just lying in bed and ignoring his phone, you guys are helping me bury a body, not find it," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Just try and calm down," I said quietly. "We'll figure it out. I know he's your friend." I glanced around the room as a thought struck me. "Shit, you should go, if Rose or Emmett see us talking, it'll be Alice and my head for sure."

Jasper shook his head and hitched his thumb over his shoulder. "They're out by the tree by third building. She came home really late and got into it with my dad, and now she's getting into it with Emmett. They won't be coming in here. I wouldn't have talked to you guys if they were around," he said, the tone in his voice indiscernible. Guilt, maybe?

"Yeah, Emmett got into it with Mom last night when he came home late," Alice said to no one in particular.

"What was it about?" Jasper asked.

"College. Mom thinks that Emmett is pushing Rose to turn Stanford down and go to Berkeley because that's where he got accepted. They aren't that far apart. He could easily drive to see her, but Emmett said that had nothing to do with it. I don't know what happened after that. They went into the garage, and I couldn't hear."

"Stanford is where my father went to college. If Rose got accepted with a full scholarship and she turns it down for Berkeley, she might not live long enough to attend," Jasper said bitterly. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic about the living part or not, and it kind of frightened me. "They got into it about her being out late, and she argued that she was eighteen. He pulled the 'my house, my rules' card, and she pulled the 'never home, doesn't matter' card, and then I kind of… well." He shuffled his feet and looked down at the ground as he licked over his busted lip again. He rubbed the back of his neck before hitching his bag higher up onto his shoulder. "Anyway. Yeah, if Rose is turning down Stanford, things could get ugly. I know she got accepted to Berkeley as well, but family tradition and all that."

My heart broke a little at the thought of Jasper's dad hitting him for standing up for his sister. He didn't come right out and say it, but it all made sense. I wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be alright, but I didn't know Jasper that well anymore; it wasn't like when Rose and I were little girls and we played dress up and make believe with him.

Everything had been so simple back then.

"The bell is going to ring soon. You should get your books, Bella," Alice said.

I nodded and bit the inside of my cheek. "Alright, but you need to let Emmett know I'm driving you home. I doubt he'll argue, if he's already going at it with Rose and Esme. Meet me by the gym with your bag between classes and I'll stash it in my locker. Jasper, meet us in the parking lot at twenty after, alright?"

He nodded and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Bella, how much do you know about his past?" Jasper asked nervously.

"Um, not much. He mentioned his parents are dead, but not much else. Why?"

He shook his head and glanced at the cafeteria door. "Just curious." He looked back and his expression had changed drastically. He looked extremely sad or confused. "Thanks for agreeing to help," he added quietly before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me. It was extremely awkward, but kind of touching at the same time. He pulled away and reached down to hug Alice just as quickly. He looked away when he broke the contact, and his jaw was tense again. "Alright, see you guys later," he said before walking away.

Alice and I watched as his form pushed through the doorway with haste before glancing at each other. Alice's eyes were wide, and I could practically hear her thoughts screaming at me.

"Yes. He hugged you. Get all giggly later. You have to talk to Emmett and get to class," I said with a gentle smirk.

She nodded, squealing only slightly as she hugged me. "See you in the parking lot," she said quickly before dashing out the same door Jasper had just exited through.

I left for my locker, pulled all of my boos out and headed for class. As I walked to fifth period, I realized that I would be doing the lab by myself.

Wonderful. Cullen better have a good excuse for being absent today.

I took a seat on my stool, pulled out my notes and book, and began skimming. If I had to do this on my own, I definitely needed to study more than I had. Mr. Banner took role and passed out the lab directions. He paused at my desk and frowned.

"I won't hold it against you if you don't finish the exercise, Miss Swan. This lab is designed for two people to delegate the work and both manage their time efficiently. I do not expect you to finish by the allotted time by yourself. Just do as much as you can, and that will suffice," he said quietly.

I nodded and took the microscope. "Thank you, Mr. Banner."

I looked over the material and got to work. By the end of the period, I had managed to complete the assignment, but only barely. I was writing down the concluding statement as the rest of the students filled out of the room.

"Miss Swan?"

"One second, Mr. Banner. Almost done," I said as I scribbled frantically.

"Miss Swan, class is over. Don't worry about it. Like I said, I knew you wouldn't finish."

"Oh, but I did. I'm just finishing up the concluding statement." I skimmed the page, making sure my name was at the top and smiled. "There." I grabbed my bag and the sheet of paper and walked to his desk. "Finished," I said with a smile as I set it on top of the stack.

Mr. Banner scanned the page and his mouth dropped open. "I'm very impressed, Miss Swan. I truly didn't expect for you to finish. I'll be sure to give you extra marks for completing both individuals' duties by yourself. You should get to your last class, however, before you're late."

"Thank you, Mr. Banner," I said excitedly. Extra credit! I could definitely use that. Today was looking slightly better; if only it would continue and we found Edward in good time and completely fine.

I met Alice by the gym and took her backpack. I reminded her to use the hole in the gate behind the second building to get off campus and meet me by my truck. We hugged, and she ran to class.

I was really anxious in gym. I kept glancing at the clock and running extra slow. Coach Clapp didn't notice anything, though; I'm pretty sure he wanted to go home just as bad as the rest of us by sixth period. At ten after, I slipped through the side door of the gym and made my way to the locker room. I quickly changed, grabbed both bags and snuck out the door. Since I was nearest to the parking lot, I could see that neither Jasper nor Alice were there yet, but I still had to climb the fence and cross the field.

I hated climbing fences. My coordination wasn't good with two feet on the ground, so when I had to use all four limbs to move my body vertically, the odds weren't in my favor. I gave myself a mental pep talk for a few minutes, taking slow breaths. Once I felt ready, I lowered the straps on my bag so that it hung against my hips, and tightened Alice's so that it sat on my shoulders and began climbing. I made it to the top without incident, but when it came time to swing my legs over the fence, my luck ended.

My pantleg got caught on the other side, and I couldn't pull it free. The bags were throwing my balance off, and I pulled myself closer to the fence, trying to keep steady. I let go with one hand to try and free my jeans, but I couldn't reach. I tugged, but my arms were starting to shake from holding my weight up and the adrenaline was rushing through my body and turning into panic. I tried another forceful tug, and the material ripped free, catching me off-guard and off balance.

I fell backward, the back of my thigh scrapping along the top of the fence and stinging painfully as I flailed my arms. The bags pushed against my back hard as I hit something just before I connected with the ground.

"Ooph! Shit!" a familiar voice said from beneath me.

A second later I realized the pale arms wrapped around me and familiar dirty jeans beneath me. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Jasper!" I said as I rolled to the side, pulling away from his arms.

"Don't apologize, I tried to catch you. It was my own fault. Are you okay?" he asked as he slowly stood up and offered me his hand.

I took it, and he pulled me up quickly; our chests pressing against the others slightly. I took a step back as my face heated up from blushing. I nodded and brushed myself off. "Thanks," I mumbled with a smile.

"Don't mention it. Next time, I would advise against climbing fences, however. You and Edward both seem to lack skills in that area," he said with a chuckle. "Come on, I think I saw Alice sneaking out behind the second building."

I nodded and held the straps of the bags on my shoulder tightly. Edward can't climb fences either? The image of him falling on his ass brought a smile to my face, but I suppressed my laughter. We jogged across the field to the parking-lot and sure enough, Alice was sitting on the back of my truck with the tail-gate down. When she spotted us, she hopped off, closed the gate and walked to the passenger side door.

"Just follow me," Jasper said before jogging to his car.

I unlocked my door and reached across to unlock Alice's side. She smiled brightly and buckled up without a word. I tossed our bags on the floor in front of her and put the keys in the ignition.

My truck could only manage about sixty miles per hour, but Jasper wasn't going over thirty-five, so I kept up just fine. Alice played with the radio tuner as I drove and smiled triumphantly when she found a good station. When we pulled off the road and onto a dirt path a few minutes later, I was confused. I thought we were going to Edward's house?

It didn't take long for my thought to be replaced with shock. The house standing before us was huge. As we rounded the corner, the trees thinned and a gigantic white house with a porch and garage easily just as big as the house came in to view.

"Holymansion Batman!" Alice said excitedly. She leaned forward in her seat as if it would give her a better view and her eyes traveled up the height of the house. How did we not know about this house before?

Jasper pulled up to the front, not really parking anywhere in particular, so I did the same. I cut the engine and hopped out of the truck quickly. I noticed Edward's car was parked a little ways away and felt relieved. He's home.

Jasper was already jogging to the garage door and standing on his tiptoes to look in the glass windows. "Carlisle's car is gone," he said loudly as he jogged up to the front door. He tried the handle, and, surprisingly enough, it was unlocked. He stepped inside, Alice and I only a few feet behind him. From the moment we walked through the door, we could hear faint music playing upstairs.

"Motherfucker, I swear to God if your ass is lying around, I'm going to hurt you," Jasper said loudly as he took the stairs two at a time.

I glanced back at Alice who looked just as confused as I felt. We hurried up the stairs behind him and followed him to the doorway at the end of the hall. Jasper came to a sudden halt as he looked inside the room. The music was much louder, and I recognized it instantly. It was rather ironic considering I had been listening to the band all morning. Vanishing by A Perfect Circle had just started, blaring from his stereo in the corner.

Jasper walked to the stereo quickly and turned the dial down. Alice and I stepped hesitantly through the doorway and looked around. Edward was rich. Not like millionaire rich, but he was well off. His room was relatively tidy for a teenage male, at least compared to Emmett's room, and he seemed to have some organizational skills. His bathroom and closet doors were both open, but I decided to not be so nosy and looked away.

"Oh fuck," Jasper said quietly as he walked to the dresser by the sliding door. He has his own balcony? Jesus. "Why would my toolbox be out and opened?" Jasper said out loud, though it seemed like he was talking to himself. He rummaged through the contents, shaking his head slightly. He looked confused.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"I asked Edward to hold my stash for me. It's a long story. Anyway, he put it in his dresser, but now it's sitting on top and open but untouched. It's not like him to leave shit out in the open, especially with his door open."

I walked to the sliding door and pulled it open. There was nothing out there. No chairs, no tables – nothing. I slowly stepped outside and looked around. Maybe he's outside and we didn't see him? I scanned the edge of the forest and leaned over the rail to look along the side of the house. Still nothing.

"Edward?" I called out, cupping my hands to my mouth. I waited. Nothing. Where the hell is he?

"Maybe he's somewhere else in the house?" Alice asked in the room.

I walked back inside, closing the door behind me and heading for the hallway. Jasper was exiting the bathroom, shaking his head, and Alice had stepped out of his walk in closet. They followed me down the hall, opening a few doors and peeking inside. When we walked into the kitchen after searching the entire house, we all huffed in frustration – there was still no sign of him. It was starting to feel a little bizarre being in someone else's house without their permission, especially when they couldn't be found.

"Where the hell could he be? His car is still here," Jasper said as he sighed. I could see that he was getting worried, but it didn't make sense.

"Why are you so freaked out over this, Jasper?" I asked, my mouth completely ignoring my brain-filter.

Jasper looked away awkwardly. "He's the only friend I've had in a long time – since Crowley, anyway."

I didn't know what he was referring to, but I could see it was a touchy subject. Tyler Crowley was an ass – that much I knew – but I didn't know that Jasper had been friends with him before. I put the thought in the back of my mind and nodded. "I can understand," I said honestly. If Alice had missed school and then avoided my calls and texts, I would be storming into her room the moment sixth period let out.

We all looked at each other awkwardly, like we didn't know what to do. A moment of silence passed, and I racked my brain to think up another idea. Just as I opened my mouth, Jasper's phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket so fast, he almost dropped it. We all stared at the small piece of plastic in his hands as he hesitated.

"Well, answer it!" Alice said.

"Is it him?" I asked at the same time.

Jasper shook his head. "No," he said, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't recognize the number."

"Answer it anyway!" Alice said impatiently.

Jasper hit the green button and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?" he said nervously.

The voice was muffled on the other side, but I could tell it was a male.

"This is he."

Alice and I glanced at each other with wide eyes.

"Wait, what?" Jasper said quickly, taking a shaky breath. "He what?" he said even more quickly. "No, no, of course. What do you need to know?" He was shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He looked up at me and Alice and I opened my eyes wider as I took a step forward. I opened my mouth to try and ask him what was being said, but he held a finger to his lips. "I, well, uh. Yeah. He's been smoking a bit, but not very much lately. He hasn't touched anything else though, I would know if he had."

There was a long pause and Jasper's face grew more concerned. I was dying to know what was being said.

"He's been taking that prescription regularly, even though I told him he should stop. He wasn't sleeping well even with the medication, and his dreams were getting worse." There was another short pause and Jasper seemed to silently cuss. "He never mentioned the dreams?" he asked hesitantly. A few moments later he sighed into the phone and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can," he said before hanging up.

"Well? Who was it?" Alice asked.

"What did they say?" I asked quickly.

"It was Carlisle. We're going to the hospital," he said as he shoved the phone back in his pocket and pulled out his keys.

"Wait, what? The hospital?" I asked. I was really beginning to freak out now.

"Yeah, Carlisle needs to ask me some questions, and it's just easier face-to-face."

I tugged on the back of Jasper's shirt and he turned around quickly, narrowing his eyes. "Tell me what the fuck is going on!" I demanded, officially freaked out.

Jasper sighed and looked down. "Edward's in the hospital. He's… in a coma. Carlisle said he passed out this morning, and they can't get him to wake up. He needs me to answer some questions about what Edward's been taking, both legally and illegally."

My mouth was hanging open. A coma?

"Do they know when he is going to wake up?" I asked, my voice cracking and my hands shaking.

Jasper shook his head, turned on his heel and walked out the front door. Alice hugged my arm, clinging to me, and gasped. I looked over, my eyes wide, and she stared back at me. I took her hand in mine and pulled her behind me as I walked out the door behind Jasper.

"We're going too," I said as I closed the door behind us.

"Fine," he said as he got in his car. He revved his engine and looped around in the dirt to head back out toward the road.

Alice climbed into my truck quickly and buckled up as I threw the car in reverse.

"Is he really in a coma, you think?" Alice asked quietly.

"I don't know. How do you just go into a coma?"

"I don't know either. Maybe he overdosed or something," I mumbled. Can you overdose on pot? My hands were shaking so I gripped the steering wheel tighter. I followed Jasper to the hospital without another word being said. When we pulled into the parking lot, I knew it well enough to know which entrance we needed to be nearest to. I honked at Jasper and pulled down a different direction. He watched me turn, threw his car in reverse and followed behind me. We parked quickly and nearly ran through the front doors.

"Dr. Cullen, please. He's expecting me," Jasper said, slightly out of breath, to the nurse walking by in the hallway. She turned and pointed in the direction she came from. Before she could open her mouth to give directions, Jasper was sprinting down the hall.

We rounded the corner and looked around. I read the signs from the ceiling. One way said intensive care, the other said emergency. Which would it be? How long has he been here?

"Jasper?" a vaguely familiar voice said from behind us.

We spun around and I saw the man I had once been introduced to as Carlisle in a white frock with a clipboard. Thank God.

"I got here as fast as I could," Jasper said.

Dr. Cullen walked toward us, a slight smile on his face as he waved us into a room. He eyed me and Alice curiously but didn't say anything. He closed the door behind us as we all stood there awkwardly in an office filled with books and a large wooden desk.

"I need you to tell me everything, Jasper. It's really important. I know you don't want to betray my nephew's trust, but every detail matters."

"Where do you want me to start?" he asked nervously.

"The dreams. How long have they been going on, and what are they about?"

"I think they started around the time that I first stayed the night."

Dr. Cullen seemed to think for a minute before speaking. "So around a month and a half then?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. He muttered in his sleep a lot that night; it kept waking me up. He was really freaking out the next day – really jumpy and out of it. He later told me that it was the first night he took the medication."

"So he started having the dreams after taking the Ambien?"

"No, he said he had them a few times before," Jasper corrected.

Dr. Cullen was silent for a moment as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Just like Edward.

"Alright, go on. Did he say what they were about?"

"I remember him mentioning a white light. We argued about that for a little while because he couldn't tell if it was a white light like Heaven's Gate, or like a bright light in his face. He said something about it taking place in his old bedroom, in the middle of the night. He hears some footsteps, and sees a shadow and then the white light hits him."

"Anything else? Does he say a name, or smell or taste anything in the dream?" Dr. Cullen asked quickly.

"Salt. He said he tasted salt and mentioned that his back was cold."

"Are you sure it was white light and not blue?"

Blue light? Why would someone see blue light?

"Uh, yeah. Positive. We argued about it being an alien light, like 'Beam me up, Scottie' and shit."

Dr. Cullen's lip pulled up on one side quickly before fading back into his emotionless expression. "How often did he have these dreams?"

"That I'm not sure. He wasn't sleeping well. A few times he was late to school because he overslept, and he ditched twice because he was so exhausted and I came over to hang out. We would… uh… smoke a bowl, watch a movie, and he would try to sleep, but he always woke up screaming. I'm surprised you never heard him."

At that, Dr. Cullen sighed, looking away almost shamefully. "They've had me working the earlier shift, so I'm not home in the early morning. I should have been checking up on him more."

The room was filled with an awkward silence for a few moments before Dr. Cullen cleared his throat. "How often did you smoke with my nephew?"

Jasper fidgeted slightly, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "Maybe four times a week at the most. He smoked cigarettes more often than… with me," Jasper mumbled.

"I won't mention your activities to the police, Jasper. I appreciate you being forthcoming with this information. I am disappointed in your decisions, however. I thought you were a better kid than that. I know life in high school can be challenging, and sometimes we just need to escape, but drugs shouldn't be your first or only option. Just keep that in mind." Dr. Cullen waited for Jasper to nod before turning his attention to me and Alice. "As for you two, do you have any information to add? Anything could be important."

"Um," I started, but Alice cut me off.

"Bella was going to meet Edward tomorrow at La Push. He said he was going to tell her everything," she squeaked out, her voice trembling and her words blurring together.

I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. She always cracked under pressure. She looked at me and shrugged, attempting a smile but it looked more like a grimace. "Don't kill me," she whispered.

"Thank you… what is your name?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Alice McCarty," she said, looking down at her feet.

"Thank you, Alice. Is this true, Bella?"

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"What was he going to tell you?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"I don't know. He had been really vague about it. He was really mean to me a few weeks ago, and we hadn't spoken since. Then on Monday, he talks to me out of the blue about drugs and death and this quote on my notebook. Afterwards, I told him he was being really cryptic, and he asked me to go somewhere with him this weekend and he would tell me everything I wanted to know. We didn't bring it up again," I said in one long breath. I inhaled sharply before looking up. I felt like a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar, but I couldn't explain why; I hadn't done anything wrong.

"What was the quote?" he asked.

"Uh… it's a Chuck Palahniuk quote. 'It's only in drugs or death we'll see anything new, and death is just too controlling.'"

Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose again and nodded. It meant something to him, obviously. I felt so out of the loop.

"Thank you, Bella. You guys have been very helpful. If you'll excuse me, I need to go order some more tests," he said as he opened the door, holding it open for us to leave.

Jasper and Alice walked out with their heads down, but I stood there, staring at him. "Wait. Aren't you going to tell us what happened? We've been worried all day, wondering where he is and then Jasper gets a phone call saying Edward's in a coma and to come to the hospital! Can't we see him? Get some answers?" I was clenching my fists against my thigh and trying to not let my nervousness show. I was terrified I had overstepped some invisible line. But who draws the line, I thought, remembering my haiku from this morning.

Carlisle sighed and nodded. "Alright, but what I have to say is strictly Edward's uncle speaking, not a doctor. Keep that in mind. Please follow me while we talk."

I nearly skipped out the door, shocked he wasn't telling me to mind my own business and stay out of it. I like this doctor. We followed beside him, taking up nearly the entire hallway as he walked quickly through the halls like he knew the secret to the maze of endless white.

"I got a call this morning from the school about Edward's lack in attendance as of late, so I went into his room just before I had to leave for work. I was surprised that he was already up and in the shower. I found his stash in his dresser, and that's when he walked back into the room. We had some harsh words where he claimed the drugs weren't his, and I pretty much refused listen."

"He was telling the truth. The box is mine, I asked him to hold it for a few days because my dad's in town," Jasper said.

Dr. Cullen nodded and continued, "He said it was something like that. I'll have to apologize to him later… well…" He was silent for a moment and sighed. He came to a stop outside of a door and signed something on the clipboard before handing them to a nurse walking by. "Get this scheduled right away, please, Hannah?"

"Of course, Dr. Cullen," she said, taking the paperwork and heading back in the direction she had come from.

"Edward's blood pressure sky rocketed; he had a major panic attack and blacked out during our disagreement. When we checked his blood, we found that he had three times his prescribed dosage of Ambien in his system, along with marijuana and high amounts of nicotine. Mixing the drugs is very dangerous to begin with, but on top of that his tests showed that he was dehydrated and malnourished. He hasn't been eating or taking care of himself, plus he's been lacking REM sleep. His body shut down, and he's been unresponsive."

I gasped, my hand flying to mouth. It was true? He was in a coma?

"Has Edward told you anything about his past?" Dr. Cullen asked us. Alice and I shook our heads but Jasper nodded. We stared at him curiously, wondering how much more he knew than us.

"He told me that his parents were murdered, and that he had no recollection of the event. He was there when it happened, but he can't remember anything from that night. He said he got heavily into drugs, and you found out, which is what brought him here," Jasper said quietly.

"That's all he told you? That he couldn't remember the night?" Dr. Cullen asked curiously.

Jasper nodded, confused. "Why?"

"Jasper… he doesn't remember anything. He has retrograde amnesia. He died the night his parents were murdered. He was dead for over two minutes, and when we got his heart beating again, he was in a coma for eight days. When he woke up, he didn't remember anything. He didn't remember who he was, or his life or his parents."

The room was spinning, I swear it was. I blinked in confusion, staring at the doctor as his face grew more and more somber. He didn't remember anything?

"He's going to wake up, right?" Alice said beside me, voicing what I really wanted to ask but couldn't force my lips to mutter.

Carlisle gave an even sadder look and sighed. "I don't know. His brain has already suffered a lot of trauma from when he died. Oxygen was cut off from his brain for a long time, and we didn't know if he would make it. If he does wake up, there is a strong possibility that he won't remember anything, just like before."

"Disappear, disappear, higher, higher.
Into the air, slowly disappear.
No, no longer here."
~A Perfect Circle - "Vanishing"