I'm afraid this meeting might not go the way you want it to but you should all know by now that they'll get there eventually! I hope you're still enjoying this story. Love, IJKS xxx

Chapter Fourteen

Charlie was nervous as she waited at an outside table at the cafe she and Joey had arranged to meet at. It was nerve wracking to think that she and Joey would be together for a whole hour on their own. Charlie was just hopeful that she wouldn't mess everything up.

"Hi, Charlie," Joey said, approaching from behind.

Charlie turned and smiled, standing up to greet her. Awkwardly, they sat down together and waited for a waitress to approach and take their drinks orders.

"I was really happy that you asked me to have coffee with you," Charlie said honestly.

"Yeah," Joey said. "I think... I think there were a lot of things left unsaid between us."

Charlie nodded and chewed her lip.

"So um... well, what have you been up to for the last couple of years?" Joey asked.

Charlie exhaled slowly.

"I don't really know where to start," she admitted.

"From when I left?"

Charlie nodded and took a deep breath.

"Well, I was pretty much a mess after you went," Charlie said. "I've missed you every day for two long years. When I realised you weren't coming home, I ended up with a guy called Angelo."

"Your ex boyfriend?" Joey recalled. "The one who went to jail?"

"Yes," Charlie said. "He was released from jail with no charges to answer and he was allowed back onto the police force with an undercover mission."

She swallowed as pictures of Hugo invaded her brain.

"We got together and started a pattern of breaking up and making up so many times that I've almost lost count," she revealed. "First we broke up after I had a car accident with Br... Someone."

"Who?" Joey asked curiously.

"Brett ran me over," Charlie said awkwardly.

Joey looked startled and drew away ever so slightly.

"I think it was an accident though," Charlie added. "But then I ended up having to tell Angelo that you and I were together when you lived here. He was pretty furious about me keeping secrets so he dumped me."

Joey raised her eyebrows, looking distinctly unimpressed.

"You still wanted me to be your dirty little secret then?" she remarked.

"No," Charlie said. "I just couldn't talk about you without breaking down so I made the decision not to do it."

Joey relaxed a little and nodded. They both thanked the waitress when she approached them with their coffees.

"From there, everything about Ruby came out," Charlie said uncertainly.

Joey nodded, feeling compassionate.

"I was pretty shocked when you told the group last week," she admitted. "I mean, it's been hard enough to deal with being a mother to Joshua because of his conception. But at least I was in my twenties. You were just a child yourself."

Charlie chewed her lip and sipped her coffee even thought it was too hot.

"Well, I failed her," she said sadly. "I ran away for a year and by the time I got back, she thought Mum and Dad were her parents. The truth came out just after you left though and we're dealing with it as best we can. But it hasn't been easy. She moved out for ages but she eventually came back last year."

Joey nodded, waiting patiently for her former love to continue.

"Anyway, Angelo and I got back together but then I broke up with him for keeping secrets from me," Charlie explained. "We got back together and things were going okay until he asked me to move in with him. I panicked and didn't feel able to make the commitment."

Joey opened her mouth and then closed it. Now wasn't the time to make barbed comments.

"I put myself into counselling to try and figure out why I was having such an issue," Charlie continued. "Through that, I realised that the biggest problem with being with Angelo was that I knew he'd never be the love of my life. I knew that I was still in love with you."

She trailed off and looked down. Joey fidgeted a little, not sure whether to be pleased, pissed off or pained.

"We got back together eventually and I tried a lot harder to make things work," Charlie said, deciding that she just had to be honest about everything. "We lasted until Christmas time last year. He nearly cheated on me and I responded by giving him what he wanted, even though I knew it wouldn't make me happy – moving in with him. We lived together for a month or so but it pretty much went wrong after that. Then my father died..."

"I'm sorry," Joey said gently.

Charlie smiled weakly and nodded her gratitude.

"Angelo and I had a one night stand after the funeral because I was so messed up. I hadn't even been there when he'd died. I hadn't visited for ages and then suddenly it was too late. I didn't take Ruby to see him either so I don't think she'll ever forgive me completely for making her miss out. I don't think I'll forgive myself for it either."

"It sounds like you've got a lot of forgiving to do, Charlie," Joey said honestly. "How do you expect to move on with your life if you keep hating yourself?"

"When you've fucked up your life as many times as I have, forgiveness isn't really an option," Charlie sighed.

Joey gazed at her compassionately, taking in her beautiful features and her sad, sad eyes. Spontaneously, she reached across the table and squeezed her hand. Charlie smiled, touched by the gesture. Joey drew away and sipped some more of her coffee.

"For the last few months, I've been seeing another guy in secret," Charlie said. "He's the leader of a pretty notorious gang and as a cop, I have so many run ins with all of them. I do think he's a good guy and that he wants to step away from the kinds of things he's involved in but it's not really as easy as that."

"Wait," Joey interjected. "You're dating a criminal?"

"Not anymore," Charlie said quietly. "We broke up when everyone found out about us. We were both getting so much hassle and it seemed like the right thing to do."

"Too right," Joey said, unable to stop the bitterness creeping in.

Charlie looked nervous.

"Do you know how offensive all of this is, Charlie?" Joey asked.

The police officer didn't respond.

"You dated a guy who killed a colleague in the army," Joey said.

Charlie looked startled.

"I kept an eye on the goings on in the Bay for a little while," Joey explained.

Charlie nodded and sighed heavily.

"Then you cheated on me with a man responsible for all kinds of evil things, not least of which was human trafficking. Then you dated someone who killed one of your colleagues. And since then you've been sleeping with a known criminal gang member."

She shook her head unhappily.

"And you tried to make it work with all of them but me," she finished. "Seriously, Charlie, what was my crime? Or is it a case of it doesn't matter who you date and what evil they're capable of as long as they've got a penis and you can pretend you're straight without a curve in sight?"

Charlie felt tension running through her body and detected the distinct sensation of tears threatening to spill.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Joey nodded and looked away. What else was there to say?

"If it helps, you were the only person I loved," Charlie added quietly.

Joey looked her directly in the eye.

"It doesn't help," she replied honestly.

Next time... Joey shares her story with Charlie before asking to see her again...