The Road Not Taken
By Misha

See Prologue for Disclaimers and Notes.

Chapter Thirteen

Brenda paced Jason's living room.

She couldn't sleep.

It was just so impossible. The life that she dreamed of was right there, hers if she wanted it.

Except it could never be hers again. It wasn't fair.

All she had ever wanted was to be with Sonny and now here she was, he was just across the hall and so was their beautiful little girl.

Except, she couldn't be with them. She knew that, it just hurt so bad.

Suddenly, the door opened. Brenda turned to see Sonny standing there. He entered the living room, closing the door behind him. She could read the anger on his face.

"Jason told you." She said softly.

"Yes, he did." Sonny answered. "What were you thinking Brenda? Or were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." She told him. "I just needed to clear my head... Tonight was so hard..."

"I know." Sonny told her. "Don't you think it was hard for me too? Seeing you, being in the same with you and not being able to have you?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Brenda told him. "I never intended to come back here, to do this to us."

"No, you just intended for me to suffer like I have these last four years, believing that my heart was buried in a watery grave." Sonny said, moving so that there was almost no distance between them.

He reached out and took her face in his hands. "No matter what it does to me, I can't be unhappy that you came back, because you're alive." He whispered, looking into his eyes. "Don't you realize how much that means to me? More than anything in the world."

"I thought that by staying dead, I was saving you." Brenda whispered, reaching out to touch Sonny's face. "You'd already lost me, so I figured that was easier than coming back and making you lose me again, in such a terrible way."

"It'd be worth it." Sonny told her huskily. "To have you back, even for a moment, would be worth anything."

They stood there, staring into each other's eyes.

"I've dreamed of this for four years." Sonny told her, caressing her face. "I've dreamed of you coming back to me. I'd close my eyes and I'd see you, then I'd wake up and you'd be gone and my heart would break all over again. Every night since you left, it was the same thing."

"Oh, Sonny." Brenda whispered.

They looked into each other's eyes, all the emotion of four years written there.

"I love you." He told her for the first time in four years.

"I love you." She whispered in return, her hand still on his cheek. "I have for as long as I can remember. You're part of me."

Sonny leaned forward and kissed Brenda's forehead. "To have you back, even for a moment, to know that you're alive, that you're light still shines, that means the world to me." Sonny told her. "I can forgive you for robbing me, us, of the last few years, because just having you back is the best gift I can ever imagine."

"Sonny..." Brenda whispered, tears in her eyes. "It's not..."

"I know, it's not the same and it's not forever, but right now, it's enough." Sonny told her, leaning down to kiss her gently.

It was a tender, but powerful kiss, packed with four years worth of love and longing. The kisses they had shared the other morning had been passionate, fueled mainly by desire. This kiss was different, all the love they had ever felt for one another was poured into it.

When they pulled apart they stared at each other, finally Brenda smiled sadly and stepped away.

"Goodnight Sonny."

Sonny nodded and turned to go.

Brenda watched him leave and when he was gone, she made her way over to the couch and collapsed in tears.

It was never supposed to be this way. She was never supposed to have to let him go. He was hers. He was all she had ever wanted and she couldn't have him.

No matter how much she might want him, he could never be hers again and that knowledge broke her heart.

YH- Thank you for the wonderful compliment and I'm glad you like this story. I thought it was a neat twist, asking what would have happened had Sonny never left.

DarkAngelGuardian- Brenda was always my favorite too and I loved Sonny and Brenda, so I felt I just had to write this. I'm definitely still working on my GH stories, it's just taking me a while.