"I didn't feel entertained" I said but it only made them laugh harder.

"do you want to hold Bandit I think see like you" Lyn-z asked.

"yes I would love to but hold on for a second I need to do something." I walked to the back room. I pulled out some black jean short shorts, fishnet tights, another black spaghetti strap top with the bottom half missing, a long sleeve fishnet top. I put all of that on and put my hair in a beanie and pulled it back into a little pony tail. My hair was so short that the pony tail was still covered by the beanie. I put on some white converse I had. I walked back out to them.

"Why did you change?" Gee asked.

"So I can hold the baby"

"Why?"

"particles from smoking stick to your clothing and hair it can make the baby sick"

"Well good thing I haven't smoked today" Gee said. Everyone else took a step away from Gee, Lyn-z and Bandit on the couch because they had been smoking or by someone smoking.

"Yeah that's because you didn't get anymore cigs yet"

"True"

"Yeah well really gee it's not healthy" Lyn-z told him.

"She smokes too" he pointed to me.

"Why do you smoke?" Lyn-z asked me.

"because of bad memories and with all honesty it's cancer sticks or knifes" Lyn-z looked at me worried.

"I am cutting down I will probably be done again after I finish all the cigs I have now" she let out a breath of relief.

"OK here" Gee got up and handed me Bandit.

" Well hello there aren't you cute" I tickled her tummy and she started laughing.

"wow she's good with kids"

"I had been babysitting since age 7"

"People actually let you babysit their kids when you were that young?" Frank asked.

"No um I use to have siblings before my parents died" they all got really quiet.

"wait where are they?" Gee asked knowing I would tell them it didn't bother me.

"Well I never told you how my parents died did I?" they all shook their head.

"well on my 11th birthday I decided I didn't want a party so my parents, my 3 siblings, and I had cake then went to bed. I woke up that night in the little cut out I had in my closet that I had covered with a dresser because it was my little hiding spot and I loved sleeping there. I got up and I saw that the sun was coming up. I walked to my parents room and I saw little dots on the floor that lead down the stair. I didn't think anything of it so I opened the door and I saw the pool of blood on the floor and that was my dad and my mom was down stairs. I went to get my siblings and I saw that they were gone. I called the cops and yeah. I went to go live with my aunt and uncle." I sat Bandit in my lap and rolled the sleeves of my long shirt up.

"The police found my siblings in a ditch 20 miles away in a ditch dead. Brutal scene but I am not going to tell you the details. "Everyone was completely silent.

"It doesn't bother me anymore but It did" I showed them the scars on my arms some of them were covered by the tattoos that I had now but they were still visible.

"I'm sorry" Gerard said.

"No it's ok it comes to a point where I have to get over it and live my life" I picked Bandit back up and she was quiet until I tickled her again. I sat there playing with her. No one talked for awhile but me.

"Mommy" everyone turned their head towards Bandit. No one could talk but she just did. I handed her to Lyn-z and walked off the bus I had my phone, ipod, and cigs so I was fine. I was walking, with my ipod on listening to Cancer and singing, and had been walking for awhile when I realized there had been tears pouring down my face and I was shaking. Almost easy started playing from my back pocket. I took my head phones off.

"H-h-hello?"

"Hey what's wrong?"Zacky asked worried.

"Nothing bad memories" I took out a cig and lit it.

"You're lying" I had just met him and he had become my protector as of now.

"I just told everyone in the bus about how my parents died because I was playing with Bandit and she was having a really good time and then she said Mommy and everything kind of just bubbled over the edge and I couldn't take it so I gave her back to lyn-z and ran off the bus"

"well do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah" I continued telling him the same story I had told everyone else.

"Um I wasn't prepared for that put wow I am so sorry" He said and I broke down again.

"It's o-o-ok I j-j-just ne-e-ed to be left a-a-alo-o-one"

"Ok well call me if you need anything"

"K bye"

"Bye" I hung up and started my way back to the bus I wasn't going on the bus I was gonna go sit in those trees by the bus. I found the bus after half an hour of walking. I walked for 15 minutes into the tree. I made a playlist on my ipod of all the sad songs I had and just sat there singing along with them. My ipod eventually died. I had to go back. I realized I went through and entire pack of cigs in less than 10 hours. I was still crying when I got back to the bus I saw that Gerard, Lyn-z and Bandit were asleep on the couch so I grabbed Calvin's Ipod and 2 packs of cigs and went and sat back down. I sat there with my eyes wide open, smoking and singing all night. I noticed the sun came up and I heard my phone play dead a few times, hand in my a few times, give em hell kid a few times, heven help us now a few times, early sunsets over Monroeville a few times, I heard almost easy a few times, I heard bomb this track a few times, I heard house of wolves a few times, I heard so jersey by bouncing souls a few times, and I heard the ripper a few times from 5 feet away. I just sat there unable to answer. Finally dead just played over and over again before I heard someone coming I didn't feel like moving so I just sat there waiting to see who it was.

"how long have you been sitting here?" Gerard sat down in front of me.

"a couple of hours" I didn't move my eyes I stared straight ahead. I had finished both packs of cigs awhile ago.

"Why did you run?"

"I couldn't take it anymore"

"I know Zacky told us"

"I don't know what to do anymore"

"With what?"

"Let's see on top of what I told you last night. I was raped last year and I almost had a kid from it. Hearing Bandit say mommy is what sent me overboard" he was shocked.

"Did you want the baby?" I started to tear up again.

"do you not want to talk about it?" he asked again.

"Yes I did just not like that"

"I understand" he stood up.

"We need to go" he held his hand out for me when I didn't take it he grabbed my phone, Calvin's ipod, my lighter and cleaned up my mess. He left then came back.

"we have to go Helli" he took out the perfume I kept in my purse and sprayed me.

"You don't smell and I wish that you would walk"

"I don't know if I can go Gee."

"I know but we at least have to bring you back home" I stood up straight.

"I am not going home!"

"Fine th-"his phone rang.

"I found her tell them I got to go" he hung up and put his phone away.

"I will carry you if you want" he said. I sat back down in the same position I was in. he swooped down and picked me up in his arms.

"I saw you come back last night I'm not stupid" he said as we walked. I was completely quiet with my eyes wide open and my head on his shoulder. When we got back no one was in our living area. He kept walking and everyone was in the back room but he put me down in his bunk.

Gerard

I walked to the back room where everyone was.

"She's really screwed up" I said to everyone.

"Where was she?" Lyn-z asked.

"In the forrest. And She had these" he took out the 3 empty packs of cigs.

"She needs anti depression help" Calvin said and everyone looked at him. he looked around and noticed all of the instruments.

"everyone go to the living area. Where is she?" He asked me while everyone left.

"on my bunk" he pushed past me and grabbed her bag of clothes. He threw it In the music room. He grabbed her laptop and placed it on the table in there too. Then he grabbed her and put her down on the chair that was back there.

"get the beer out of the cabinet" he told me as he grabbed a pair of drumsticks and a guitar pick. I brought all the beer to the kitchen. There wasn't very much. When I got back she had the drumsticks in one hand and the guitar pick in another. H e walked out and I followed. I watched as he closed and locked the door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'll explain out there" we walked out to the living area.

"What did you do with her?" Lyn-z asked.

"He locked her in the music room" everyone looked at Calvin.

"I don't know why it works but music is everything to her and hearing it helps her being able to play it fixes her and she needs both of those right now"

"Yeah maybe that's why she had this" I handed him his Ipod.

"It was almost dead I never charged it she has had a couple of hours without music she's screwed up"

"Ok well we are just going to leave her in ther-" Frank was cut off by a guitar playing in the back room.

"Yes I locked her in there she has her clothes and her computer and knowing her by the time we get to Houston she will have songs recorded"

"How?" Ray asked.

"Her computer has software on it for that and depression is her best tool for writing music."

"Ok well are we supposed to pretend she's not i-" Frank was interrupted by Calvin

"Yes she's on the other bus to us because if you bother her before she's ready she will become depressed again"

"Well when do we open the door?" He asked.

"Notice how she started playing right away?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah"

"Well she will keep playing until her brain starts working again. She has her clothes so eventually she will change and at some point she will start banging on that door"

"and we let her out?" he asked again.

"yes"

"ok well just do something and pretend to be doing something at least because the bus leaves now" I looked at my phone yeah now 10 and we will get there soon. I sat down on the couch next to its only occupants.

"what's wrong Gee?" Lyn-z asked after awhile.

"Nothing just thinking about what Helli told me in the forest"

"What did she tell you?"

"I'm not allowed to tell"

"Ok" she dropped the subject and we sat there watching everyone playing video games.

Helena

I sat there. Calvin did the right thing after what felt like forever I felt normal again. I felt like I should change because I smelled. I walked over to my bag. I pulled out a dress that I made that was modeled after the dress Tracy wore in the Helena video. Only it was much shorter(came to midthigh), had straps(elastic around the neck straps attached to that),and wasn't very poofy. It was layered though with black and red fabric. I put on black flats with the dress and did my hair and makeup. I plugged my ipod in to my computer. I just sat there for a few minutes but quietly played my music through my computer and finished reading my book. I felt the bus stop and realized I never said goodbye to Rose yesterday and that she left without a trace. I got up and decided to call her. I went to open the door but it was locked. I banged on it. I sat there impatiently . I was starting to get pissed. As I heard someone walk towards the door. Calvin opened it.

"I'm sorry I ran" I told him.

"It's ok I didn't even know that I don't know very much about you"

"Well I am gonna tell you what I told Gee and you can't tell anyone" he nodded and I closed the door and he sat on the couch.

"Well last year before I met you I was raped by this guy I used to like. Well I didn't know that he didn't use anything. It turns out I was pregnant. The baby died early though and the sad thing was I wanted the baby but not that way" I started crying again.

"When I saw the looks on Gee and Lyn-z's faces after Bandit spoke I knew that was her first word and it hit me then everything inside of me bubbled over the edge and I couldn't take it anymore so I ran"

"Hey it's ok I am really sorry but what happened to the guy?"

"He was killed a week later in a car crash"

"Wow that's uncanny"

"Yeah well can I come out of this room now?"

"Yeah as long as you don't smoke at all today"

"I'll stay here" he stood and started walking out.

"Fine you can have 2 between now and the show"

"Fine" I grabbed all of my stuff and put it all back where it was before. I walked out to where everyone was sitting.

"Where's my phone?" I asked. Gee handed it to me. I grabbed 1 cig and my lighter and walked outside we were I have no Idea where. I looked at my phone let's see who called.

78 missed calls

Great. Who called?

Gee W 18 missed

Milky way 3 missed

Halloweener Frankie 4 missed

Torosaurus 6 missed

bBRYAR 5 missed

Bubbles 5 missed

Dan TU 3 missed

JephTU 3 missed

Bert TU 3 missed

Quinn TU 3 missed

Synister gates 4 missed

M. Shadows 4 missed

Zacky Vengeance 4 missed

Johnny Christ 4 missed

The Rev 4 missed

Unknown 5 missed

I think I should call them all back. I called Emily first because she would know what to do.

"Hello?"

"Bubbles I am so sorry"

"Rocker why did you run?"

"Well when I was playing with Bandit she said her first word and I never told you this but I was supposed to have a kid awhile ago."

"Who the fuck was the father!?"

"Well it wasn't willingly he fucking raped me!"

"Oh I am sorry but what does the have to do with anything?"

"I want to keep the baby but it died"

"Oh and the first word thing I get it now ok well are you ok now?"

"Yeah can you tell everyone I'm fine please just don't tell them what I told you"

"Ok"

"K bye Bubbles"

"bye rocker" I turned I knew someone had been standing there.

"How much did you hear?" I asked.

"Well since I was playing with Bandit, I am really sorry" Lyn-z told me.

"No It's ok I am fine now" I took a drag.

"Are you sure because you're smoking right now" She took a step closer to me.

"Ok maybe I am scared to go back in there and face everyone"

"What are you gonna tell them?"

"I am but I don't know how to say it"

"Just tell them the truth and besides they heard you I am sure because you yelled pretty loud" I hung my head. I dropped that barely used cig and stepped on it.

"Ok well then I guess they know and all I have to do is explain why I ran yesterday"

"Yeah but trust me they won't care you've obviously been through a lot in your life so if they say anything please kick their ass"

"I think I'll take you up on the offer but when is sound check?"

"I think we have a few hours why?"

"I need to go die my hair"

"Ok want me to bring you?"

"Sure but leaving a baby with those men is dangerous"

"I will kill them if we come back and she has been changed in anyway"

"Oh can I help!?!?!?!" I clapped my hands.

"Of course"

"Yea!!" I hugged her.

"Thanks hold on" I went and grabbed my purse and I the keys from the counter.

"Ok ready to go"

"K hold on" she walked up the steps.

"I'm going out be nice to her!" she came back and we left.