Quote Challenge: "Are you familiar with the phrase 'famous last words?"
Sam watches as the Colonel paces back and forth in front of her. He's trying to hide it, but she can see the grin that tugs at the corners of his mouth. Sure, she thinks, real funny.
"'It will take three minutes and fourteen seconds,' she said. 'It's physically impossible for a monolith with that mass to shift any faster,' she said."
"Sir," Sam grinds out, "I really don't thin—"
"Carter, are you familiar with the phrase, 'famous last words'?"
"I believe Major Carter is aware of her predicament, O'Neill."
"Thank you, Teal'c," Sam says with a sigh and surveys the improbable trinium cage that ensnared her as the monolithic rock formation shifted faster than…honestly, it was physically impossible what had just happened.
"Hey guys?" Daniel's voice drifts out from behind the rock. "You think you could get me out of here?"
The Colonel huffs. "Daniel, use your knife to cut yourself free."
Silence for a moment, then a chagrinned, "Oh." Moments later, he squeezes out from between the rock face and the monolith and surveys the tableau. "Wow. You really are stuck in there," he observes.
Sam clenches her jaw to forestall the unattractive stream of words that are begging to be set free.
"Whatsa matter, Carter? Something on your mind?"
"The good news is that the monolith will shift back and the cage will just rise back up into the ceiling…right?" Daniel asks and then pulls Sam's canteen off her pack and passes it through the metal bars. "Do you think you can fit through?" He taps his fingers against the metal bars.
"Not since I hit puberty," she says wryly and takes the canteen.
"Couldn't you just," he presses his hands flat against his chest and sucks in his belly, his eyes widening comically.
She rolls her eyes and demonstrates the futility, palms pressed against her breasts, and smirks a little when the Colonel's eyes go wide and he covers by smacking Daniel on the back of the head. "No, she can't just," he grouses.
"Anyway," she says shifting back into science-mode, "theoretically, the monolith should begin a shift back into its original position once the gears have turned full circle. As it shifts, the cage should rise."
"This is really more of a pain in the ass than a defensive measure now that the planet is uninhabited," the Colonel feels obliged to point out.
"Yes, sir," she says and turns away so he can't see how hard she rolls her eyes.
"And about how long do you think that might take?" he needles.
"Don't be an ass," Daniel says and the Colonel grunts.
He leaves off long enough for Sam to gather her thoughts and for Daniel to go count the number of teeth on the driving gear. Daniel returns and reports an odd combination of rack and pinion gears that drive a sprocket and track system and gives her numbers that force her to predict, "It'll be about sixteen hours, sir."
The guys hem and haw, the Colonel tugs at his hair, then eventually Teal'c suggests they take a walk when he sees her shifting back and forth uncomfortably. The Colonel catches the hint and the two older men haul a confused Daniel away long enough for her to scrape some decaying leaves into a corner and build a much-needed camp latrine.
By the time they return she's propped up against the dull grey bars and drawing designs in the hard-pack clay with one end of her stylus. "The planet's uninhabited," she reminds them as the Colonel starts directing the guys on where to throw out their bedrolls. "You could go home and I can follow behind tomorrow."
The Colonel just looks at her like she's suddenly stupid and goes back to setting up camp. "Well," she observes as Daniel shoves her sleeping bag into her semi-private suite, "at least now we know why there's an odd patch of ceiling here in an otherwise open space."
The Colonel raises an eyebrow at her. "Seriously? You're ready to up-shot this already?"
She shrugs, "I could sit here and bitch all night if you'd prefer." She smoothes the lumps out of her sleeping bag and looks up to see him fighting a grin. "Sir," she remembers to add just in time to not sound completely insubordinate.
While Daniel and Teal'c finish setting up camp, the Colonel lumps the klick back to the gate to check in with the General. By the time he returns, dinner's ready and there's not much left to do but sit and wait.
"How much longer now?" the Colonel asks around a mouthful of either Jambalaya or Chili-Mac, it's pretty hard to tell.
Sam checks her watch. "Just under fourteen hours now, sir."
The Colonel groans. "It's going to be a long night." He gets up and she watches as he brushes clay dust off his six with half-gloved hands.
"At least you can go somewhere," she points out sulkily.
He turns back to her and she's pretty sure he caught her staring at his ass because his smirk is a little too knowing for a man who merely says, "the planet is, as you've helpfully pointed out, uninhabited. What am I going to find for fun? Especially with you being trapped in there?"
She's not sure when he walks away, but she thinks she should be blushing.
Two hours later Daniel is snoring, Teal'c is deep in meditation – well, as deep as he gets off world – and Jack is passing a cup of hot coffee through the bars to her. She takes a sip and smiles when she realizes he's mixed a packet of hot chocolate into hers. "Thank you, sir."
He waves her off. "So I figure what I have here is a free pass."
She arches an eyebrow at him. "Sir?" She goes still as he reaches through the bars and his hand drifts towards her head. She gulps and then checks a groan when his fingers snag a leaf out of her hair.
"Well, usually it's me pulling the boneheaded stunts."
"Or Daniel."
"Or Daniel," he concedes. "But what I'm thinking is I get the next boneheaded stunt without the Sam Carter Superior experience. Complete with skipped eye roll and aggrieved sigh."
She can't help but grin. "I don't know, sir. I might not be capable of subverting those autonomic responses."
"Aw, Major…I have faith in you."
He says it with that slow grin that makes her hands shake and her insides flutter and her cheeks flush. When he gives her the same knowing grin he'd given her before with the six-peeking, well, she knows she's been had.
"Now you're just messing with me, sir," she says with a huff. It's completely unfair because she's literally a captive audience and he really can be quite charming…when he's not being a completely pain in the nice, tight six.
"Oh, c'mon," he says good-naturedly. "How often do we get to kick back just the two of us and shoot the breeze?"
"Sir?" she asks, nonplussed. "May I point out that I'm still trapped in a twelve foot square cage?"
"Eh," he blows it off, "it's better than some of the accommodations we've had over the years. And you've got to admit," he sweeps his arm out grandiosely, "that the view is fantastic."
He's right, it is. On a planet with three moons and dust rings, night really is a sight to behold.
A particularly loud snuffle comes from the direction of Daniel's sleeping bag.
"Besides," she says with just a hint of regret, "it's not exactly just the two of us."
"Close enough," he says with a shrug and nudges her knee with one of his knuckles.
"Yeah," she agrees.
They sit quietly and look out at the night. He tears leaves into little bits she watches drop to the ground by firelight. He breaks the silence, "I could have sent the guys home."
"Sir?"
"But with you in there…it seems like a waste of a good favor, you know?"
"A…favor?" Suddenly the harmless flirtation doesn't seem so harmless. Not if he's been lining up favors. The kind he'd rather use when they weren't separated by trinium bars.
He belays the tension with a quick, rueful grin. "Neither one of them truly appreciate a good night hike."
She smiles and ducks her head. "No, sir."
He pours her another cup of coffee, this time giving it to her straight. "How much longer?"
She dutifully checks her watch even though she already knows the answer. "About eleven and a half hours."
"That would be just enough time to get into trouble."
"Oh, I don't know, sir," she says with more bravado than she really feels, "I think we frequently do just fine with less time."
He extends his metal cup and clinks it softly against hers. "Well, here's to boneheaded decisions and passing up good favors."
"Yes, sir," she says with a slightly inappropriate smile. "If I've got to make boneheaded decisions, I'm glad I get to make them with you."
He looks almost taken aback by her candor so she pulls it back in at the last possible moment. "I mean, really, sir…you've just had so much practice."
He scowls at her and she smiles. He takes a sip of coffee and throws a wink over the rim of his cup.