Sinful Obsessions: Drabbles for Ruby & Bela
Title: Empty Bliss, Selfishness
POV: Bela's
Song: I'm So Sick ~ Flyleaf (Both versions are nice, but when writing this I was listening to the remixed version on the Resident Evil: Extinction soundtrack)
She knows Ruby loves her, she'd be stupid if she couldn't recognize it at every second, even when Ruby is furious with her and it would be justified to refuse to show her that very love.
And she also knows that she doesn't deserve it, not with the way that she's been acting, actions that if the demon didn't know better would lead her to believe that Bela had no interest in her anymore.
That's not the case at all and they both know it, Bela will only have eyes for Ruby and it is that simple. Yet things have also become increasingly harder, she has always felt that if she doesn't love herself then she couldn't possibly love another.
And after the pit… well, she can't say anything about love, let alone feel it.
Before her descent into hell there was regret tinged with the sadness at never seeing Ruby again, now there's the ever constant belief that she is no longer that girl, incapable of those emotions.
Sometimes she wonders if she should be back there, the only place where she ever felt like she belonged. It should be Ruby's arms, it used to be Ruby's arms but when that demon first began to slice into her, a name she knows she still utters in her sleep, the thought came to her that she was hell's meat now.
Beyond any help, unable to be loved by any demon unless its intentions were of a sick and twisted lust, a longing to tear into her and drink down her tainted yet once beautiful blood…
That's why when the blade descends on her helplessly shocked form, Bela knows it's no game, that this is Ruby's last resort.
It may be the only thing to save her from herself and memory.
To be continued…