title: It Was Always You
prompt: SASUSAKU MONTH 2014
rating: T-M

summary: o14: He figured that she would be happier with someone who could support her and care for her, unlike him. If only she could see it that way.

dedicated to: my girls reviee, DeepPoeticGirl, and SR :)

.o14.
His Side of the Story

"You're better off without me," Sasuke said, handing the charm bracelet Sakura made just for him back to her. He placed it in her palm and closed her hand, his eyes gazing into her tear-filled ones.

"W-What?" she whispered, unable to believe what was happening right now.

"You heard me. I said that you'd be better off without me in your life."

"Sasuke-kun, why are you like this?" she asked. "Yesterday you were so happy to be with me. You were full of life, and carefree, and last night…" Sakura closed her eyes, remembering the passion and the care that flowed through their bodies so seamlessly. Now it was gone.

Sasuke said nothing. He did his best to keep his face as stoic as possible, which only angered Sakura even more.

"You asshole!" she threw the bracelet back at him, and it hit him in the nose. Sasuke flinched, but didn't bother to pick up the trinket that was now at his foot. "You think you can just fuck with me like this? I need an explanation. I refuse to let you go without telling me why you want to break up!"

Sasuke lowered his voice. "I've already told you."

"I swear, if you say that 'I'm better off without you' one more time, I swear, I will claw your fucking eyes out."

Sasuke thought out his words carefully. He figured "I don't deserve you" would indicate somewhat that he still cared and loved her like nothing else, only urging her to fight harder, but the opposite would say the same thing, only harsher. It would let her know that he wasn't worth her time.

"You don't deserve me."

Sakura froze. Her body seemed to shrink, and she couldn't find her words.

He had hurt her, this time once and for all.

Sasuke turned to leave, forcing himself not to look back and wipe the tears away or pick up the bracelet and wear it around his wrist. He bit his lip, telling himself that he would be strong, and that she would be okay.

You deserve better than me.

.

.

.

Last night, when he was in her, holding her and hearing her cry out his name, he wanted nothing more than to stay like that forever and tell her how much he loved her. His back still had the remnants of last night's passion, and he hoped that those marks would never heal up.

He loved Sakura more than anything else in the world, but knew that he wouldn't be able to care for her as well as Sai could. Sai was wealthy and of a high social class, and here he was working a blue collar job that paid just enough to fulfill the rent and take Sakura out once in a while.

The marriage apparently had already been arranged and was set for July 23rd—his birthday, ironically. Previously he had told Sakura that they could get through it together, show her parents how much they really loved each other, and if that didn't work, well, they would just elope. He figured that their love knew no bounds.

But as the situation kept becoming more prominent and Sasuke realized it was them against him, he knew that he was a lost cause. Sasuke knew with a smug satisfaction that he could make Sakura the horniest, without a doubt, and the angriest (in a good way, of course), and especially the happiest. He knew that her heart would always remain faithful to him, no matter how terribly he broke it, and there was no way Sai could ever match the intensity of feeling he had for Sakura.

Sitting down on a rock at their favorite park, he began to toss pebbles at the small lake in front of him. Soon, ducks came waddling up, pecking the ground around him, seeing if he had any food.

"Not today, guys," he muttered. His eyes skirted to their tails, and he smirked to himself sadly, remembering how often Sakura would tease him about the similarity of duck butts and his hair.

God, he missed her so much.

.

.

.

Sakura forced herself not to think about Sasuke, but with every passing moment, her heart ached and she wanted so desperately to go to him and beg him to take her back.

She even had a moment of weakness when she picked up the charm bracelet. Sakura forced herself to throw it away in the park lake where she and Sasuke used to cuddle together. But when it stopped floating, and threatened to sink down into the dirty depths, Sakura jumped in and retrieved it. She ignored the strange looks from passerbys as she began to cry, holding the bracelet towards her heart.

"What are you doing here?" Sai asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see him staring intently down at her tear-stricken face, and slid his arm around her.

"I—" she began. Then, all of a sudden, she wept. She buried her face into his arms and cried like a baby in the middle of the park while he held her silently, rocking her back and forth. He said nothing, letting her let out all her emotions, and then wiped her tears with a handkerchief he pulled out of his pocket.

"You'll get sick," he said, motioning to her wet clothes. "Let's go home."

Sakura sniffed, but took his outstretched hand. He brought her close to him in a way that reminded her of Sasuke, but she forgot about him. She didn't need him anyway, not when she had someone as sweet as Sai.

At least, that's what she told herself.

.

.

.

Sai helped undress Sakura one by one, his fingers moving slowly over her clothes. He unbuttoned her blouse carefully, with an artist's touch, and slid it off her body. She was only in her bra and wet skirt, and she blushed furiously.

"You are so beautiful," Sai whispered, kissing her. He held her forearms in his hands.

Sakura's mind drifted off to last night, where Sasuke had treated with her just as much tenderness, if not more. He had always been gentle in their lovemaking, but yesterday was like nothing else; he treated her as if she were a porcelain doll about to crack, fragile under the touch. She thought it was because she was precious to him. Now, she thought—and knew—otherwise.

"You're crying," Sai said, sliding off her skirt. "Are you thinking about him?"

Sakura bit her lip and shook her head.

"Liar," he whispered, kissing her tears. "I'm going to make you forget all about him."

He laid her down onto the bed, and she stared blankly up at the ceiling, waiting for Sai to undress himself. When he was done, he positioned himself over her.

"Wait," she said, stopping him. Her hand was on his chest. "Please, no."

"No?" he asked.

"No. I can't—I can't do this."

Sai sighed, but agreed. He slid off her body and wrapped a blanket around her tightly.

"You'll get cold," he said. "Wear this."

Sakura bundled herself up, facing the other way, while Sai sat on the edge of the bed. He was still naked and didn't bother putting on his clothes, but he also knew that there was no way he would get to touch Sakura tonight. Not in her condition.

Fuck Uchiha Sasuke, he thought.

.

.

.

"He's going to give you a better life," Sasuke told himself, watching his reflection repeat the words in the mirror. "It doesn't seem like it now, but you'll be happier with him. We love each other now, but love doesn't pay the bills. When we grow older, we're going to fight more. What has to get fixed? Who's paying what? Why don't I ever pay attention to you anymore? It's going to be struggle providing for both of us, and it pains me to know that I can't give you the life you deserve."

Sasuke took a deep breath, forcing himself to believe the words he just said.

"You can learn to love people. Sai has everything he can give you. He's attractive enough, I guess. But he's rich, and will shower you with jewels and clothes and everything I can't. You'll forget about me soon enough."

Sasuke stared back into his reflection. Then, he drew up his fist, and smashed against the glass, hard enough to leave bruises.

"That's what I keep telling myself," he muttered, pressing his forehead against the cool surface. "But we both know that's a lie."

end of part 1

I'm trying my hand out at angst :P REVIEWS please!