Lately, Gilbert's been avoiding me. I don't know why, but he'll just give me these forlorn looks. Like, when Gilbird flew in my room again, he didn't even speak to me! He just got the bird, gave me a sad look, and left. What the heck?

I mean, not that I care.

And Thomas has been bugging me NONSTOP about the stupid England picture, which my stupid phone deleted. I think my phone is conspiring against Thomas, it's been doing things like that.

Don't get me started about Kevin. For once, Kevin hasn't talked much either! Maybe I'm not crazy anymore! That's always a plus. Lately, I've been trying to help around the house with Ivan. But the funny thing is, he doesn't really want my help. Every time I get into a closet to put a blanket up or something, he's always there. And he's like "Oh let me take that go play on your book tee hee da"

Well, maybe not exactly like that. But it's pretty darn close. Ugh. And LAST time I went to the closet to put a vacuum I found up, I thought I saw my history books in there. It's like finding christmas presents early. No one wants to blab and get in trouble!

And now, here I was, "playing on my book." Some people, like me, call it reading. Whatever floats Ivan's boat. Or, should I say "play?" ,

Then, the door opened a little. Just a creak at first, and then it fully slid open to reveal a long legged albino mouse. AKA, Gilbert.

He looked like he was about to pass out sick. His face had taken on a pale yellow look that was even whiter than he normally was, and little beads of sweat dotted his forehead. Normally, his cheeks were only a little pink, but now they were as red as a Raggedy Anne Doll.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and he feverishly nodded his head.

"Of course! Russian food doezn't mix so vell viz awesomeness such as myself," he panted.

"Go to the bathroom."

"Just did."

"Ew."

He rolled his eyes and sat down in a wooden chair. A muffled clap escaped from his gloved hands as he clasped them together, asking, "Tell me, vhat do you think of Prussia? It's pretty awesome, no?"

Weird question. "Persia?" I asked.

Sadly, he gave me a strangely bitter grin and shook his head. "Ze Great Prussia, P-R-U-S-S-I-A," he repeated.

"It's a country, right? I think I seen it somewhere," I said, remembering the history book that I saw when I was looking for England's book.

Normally, Gilbert's voice was hubristic. Proud. Arrogant. But now, it seemed a lot different, like he was stripped of all of that. "No, it's not a country anymore. It fell a long time ago."

"So it IS Persia!"

"No! Vhat makes you zink zat?! Persia sucks!"

"Well," I said sheepishly, "They sound similar."

"And I assume vou zink Prussia and Russia are bruzers, don't vou?"

"My second guess! No, I don't know much about it, but that's an interesting way to say it," I grinned. He didn't. Honestly, he looked like he was about to cry.

"Are you okay?" I asked, letting my eyebrows furrow a little. His nose had gone from a pasty yellow white to a shiny bright red.

"Ze awesome Gilbert iz fantastic, don't mind me," he confirmed, but it came out broken. While giving me one of those dude nods men atypically gave, he got up and tried to stroll out the door. Instead, he bumped into Ivan walking in, gave him a classical triumphant "Hello, I am awesome and you are not," glare, and squeezed through the available space in the door left.

"What was dat all about?" Ivan asked.

"He wanted to ask about some weird country," I sighed.

"Is your head still bothering you?" He asked me, and patted it a little. Only a little part of me wanted to flinch.

"Nope!" I grinned lackadaisically, and shrugged.

"Well, that's good. I wouldn't want you dying in anytime soon, that wouldn't look so good on me," he said grinning. I had no idea if he was kidding or not. At least, I hope he was kidding. There was this real awkward silence, and then he left, taking his silly smile along with it.

I sat on my butt for a few hours, until Ludwig knocked on my door in three short knocks. Oh, yeah! Ludwig's been acting kind of skittish too. But I can excuse his avoiding behavior better than I can excuse Gilbert's.

"Vou stay on your phone all ze time," he grouches, "It's not healthy."

Instead of responding, I rolled my eyes. Wrong move. That only riled him up further.

"Look, you're in Russia and you haven't even been out of ze house yet. Vhat are you going to say when people ask vhat you did zis Summer? Go to Russia and sit on your bum?" He said sternly, and slipped me a few dollars without saying another word.

"I don't understand. Are you implying I should become a Russian stripper?"

He gave me a disgusted sigh. "Just please go outside, you're giving me ze creeps."

"Where are you gonna go?"

"Outside. Vou could try it sometime!"

"Ludwig, do you even have a happy place? Are you even human?"

"I have a happy place. It'z a person, and it'z not you."

Sigh

So, that's how I ended up exploring Ivan's house. It really was big. There were locked rooms and open rooms and shimmery stairways... I have to admit, I felt like a detective.

Skylar Thompson, teenage detective. What's her mission this time? The Mystery of Ludwig's Happy Place. The search has been going on for several decades. Can Skylar Thompson sleuth it out?

Stealthily, she creeps on the floor, careful to make no sound or trace. Her calves ached for her to stop, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. Ages seemed to pass... Rooms flashed by like neon comets... But she knew exactly what she was looking for. And then, finally she got to the destination that she had been searching for. It shone like radiant diamonds before her.

Really, I had no idea why I was staring at a bunk room, with three blue beds. And I felt pretty stupid pretending to be a spy detective. It was like I was a washed-out Nancy Drew.

Anxiously, she stepped into the lushly carpeted room to inspect her surroundings. Then she got to work, pulling out drawers, checking under the best. After all, time and time again experience had taught her to check everything. Then, she found it. She found a clue. A torn of slip of notebook paper, hidden away in the bowels of one of the three night floor. On its thin surface was a number scrawled all over in pen. Could this number be the key to Ludwig's Happy Place?

Am I really calling this number? Eh, what could happen? Maybe I'll make a friend. Maybe it's my future husband!(!) Wouldn't that be a fun story to tell?
"So.. How'd you two love birds meet?"
"Oh, I randomly called her while pretending to be a spy."

Besides, it's probably just the number for Papa Johns.

The phone only rang three times before someone answered. Skylar Thompson was anxious, but she was ready.

"OMG, this is Poland! Like, is this Russia? What are you doing calling me? You're totally aren't getting Lithuania back, he's super mine," a wordy man said immediately. He had a polish accent, and yet his voice had a valley girl twang to it.

"Uh, yeah," Skylar Thompson gruntled, in an attempt to pretend to be this "Russia" that the girl-man spoke of. Obviously, this was a code. The question was, was it code for Ludwig's Happy Place?

"Like, what are you doing even calling me? I mean, WTF. BTW, did you like, suck helium? You sound totally girly,"

"Uh, yeah, I did. I think it brings out my eyes. And, um, the helium killed all my brain cells. Who's Lithuania? Is that code?" Skylar Thompson stupidly said, all the while wincing. Why was she making such stupid excuses? She was so much better than this flatulance!

"Oh. My. God. Seriously, you need help! Don't you even remember your slaves? Lithuania broke his back in for your totally stupid ideas. And what's wrong with you? Of course not, we only use our human names around humans. OMG! You aren't even spewing 'da' everywhere!" Poland blabbed on and on and on. Suddenly, he reminded Skylar Thomas of Lucille's 6-year-old sister. "TTYL, gotta go. See you lateeeerr!"

OH NO

PRETENDING TO BE A SPY WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA.

There was only one person I knew that said 'da.' Ivan. And Poland... He called him Russia, just like Thomas did. Does that mean...

But nothing made sense! How Ivan could possibly be Russia?!

"Oh," I whispered to myself, and lowered the blue bed. My world began to spin, and I blacked out. It wasn't sabotage, or anything. I just simply fainted.

===A/N

HI I UPDATED IN LESS THAN A MONTH. ARENT YOU PROUD?

OH! I DREW SKYLAR TOO, SEE? HERE'S A LINK story_

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE INTERESTING AND I HAD EXTRA TIME DURING FINALS