Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit off of Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment, etc.
A/N: This is an insert-an-OC story that will veer from canon timeline, but the actual canon events will retain great similarities.
Inspirations Blog: farinspirations(d)tumblr(d)com – Look for the 'Welcome' link in the side menu that explains how the blog works.
Guest: Thanks for reviewing!
biowolf864: Bella's arrival starts the big snowball of change and choice, no puns intended. Carlisle and Esme's love for Mir is going to come out in the wash, believe me. I do love the unspoken things, though – those small things that come together to prove how much someone means to a person. I think it's adorable, too. :D Thank you for reviewing!
laurensouliere: Wolves are definitely coming soon! And no mysterious death for Bella. She's a very significant and important part of the series. Thanks for reviewing!
Chi-chan: Lol, catching up is hard to do! Aw, I love Carlisle/Mir scenes so much. They are an adorable father/daughter pair. Don't worry, Jess is young and her life still has a lot of growing room! Mike even has growing room still, and look at how much he stinks up the place, haha. Thank you so much, lovely!
EdenMae: Jess' situation was a little disappointing for me, too, and I even knew it was going to happen! Ah, but we'll see how she goes on as life progresses. Mike will have to take a huge, huge step for change before he deserves anybody at all, that's for sure. The wolves are approaching soon, so we'll find out what happens before long. Thanks for reviewing!
Honey Evans: Jess is going to have a rough time for a while (emotionally), but we'll see where that leads later on. And Mike… sigh. He's a problem, I admit that. Oh, I loved Conner/Jess, but sadly it wasn't the way for them. Next chapter we'll see the idea you inspired! Aww, I love the Carlisle/Mir birthday scene. It's one of my favorites. Thank you so much!
ColdOnePaul: Haha, Mike is definitely that! We're going to keep seeing the progression of the high school squad over the course of the story, so we'll keep an eye on both of these two. Lol, I can totally see Emmett getting completely fed up! Ah, the La Push trip is coming soon and we shall see what words are exchanged. Glad to put these out so quick, it's been a great writing week for me. Thank you for your review!
Spazter: Yeah, Mike's stalker behavior is one for the garbage bin. We'll see more of Mike over the course of the story and how that changes him. Intriguing words about codependency! Thanks for your review!
xenocanaan: Yes, Mir deserves that to the nth power. :) Thank you for reviewing!
Notes:
If you haven't seen any of the Twilight films yet, shame on you! :P Haha, but I want to warn you of spoilers for the movie series anyway. After Carlisle's seeming death in BD Part 2, I had to convey the shock and horror I felt when it appeared he had been killed, but was later proven to be quite alive. That part, along with the deaths of Jasper, Seth, and Leah, was absolutely heartbreaking. I legitimately cried until I found out it was just a vision of what could have been. Writing some parts of this chapter made me cry, too. Funny how emotions strike us differently at different times, isn't it? Fair warning, this chapter can be downright confusing later on, plus it's quite... weird, I guess is the best word. Anyway, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed!
Previously – Mir recalled Mike prank, Mir worried of Jess. Teens worked crafts, Mike not invited, Mir/Ang noticed Jess improved. Mir heard Mike/Jess argue of Conner. Mir/Mike argued of Jess, Mir withheld anger, Mike left church. Mir expected Cullens to confront, but no reaction. Carlisle startled Mir, Alice/Mir shrouded talk of anger. Mir worried of Edward opinion on anger. Mir/Edward visited Carlisle at work, Edward assured Mir not bothered by her anger. Mir gave Carlisle package for birthday, Carlisle fussed, Mir said Esme against fussing. Carlisle appreciated books/cards & hugged Mir. Teens worked crafts, Mike caused trouble, Pastor Weber intervened. Katie offered ride to Jess, Mike left, Conner mentioned Mike wore Redhawks shirt. Mir realized Jess/Mike connection, Edward confirmed. Mir worried of wolves, Edward reassured. Mir doubted & Edward said how much she changed him. Mir made Edward promise not to cross treaty line. Moonlight Sonata not played, Mir didn't sleep. Mir/Jess shopped. Jess couldn't find same blouse & said no one would care anyway. Mir got Jess to admit break up with Conner & feelings for Mike. Mir made Jess promise nothing stupid. Jess felt down & Mir said one day the right guy would come.
Chapter 13: Audience
Upon driving back to the Cullen's house after silly shopping and heart-to-heart talks with Jessica, there remained a tiny spirit of hope in my drying veins. A tiny piece of lasting faith refused to leave me alone, no matter how far my convictions sank into the dirt.
Bolstered enough to face the day, I took more obvious notice of my surroundings, as Dan Griffin and simple experience had long ago taught me to do. Again the Cullen home sat silent and empty, this time devoid of everything except my own breaths and heartbeats in the dimly-shone interior of the white house under such dull skies of gray.
Eyeing the uninhabited space for several moments put me in a mind to lock all the doors and windows, barricade the back wall, and hide away in the attic until someone came home.
Shivering at the very idea of such fearful tendencies, I physically shook myself out of the wretched thoughts and hurried upstairs to my room to sort out the few purchases Jessica pressed me to make with unerring persuasiveness.
The Quileutes had made me into a nervous wreck, untrusting of my instincts and my own special ability. Frustrated by the change, I acknowledged this truth with a heavy heart and accepted it was most likely inevitable. Perhaps this was supposed to give me a sense of balance with my gift.
Standing in the depths of my closet with a mind buried in doubts and hard perceptions, I almost missed the muffled thumps of several objects falling into the wad of expensive clothes and accessories Alice had been stuffing into my closet over the year I had lived with the Cullens.
As it was, the weight of the objects in question caught my attention and drew perplexed blue eyes to the lower shelves in the corner.
Moving down the stepladder cautiously, I stooped to a crouch staring at several dark items hidden amongst a drawer of socks and nylons. Against all wisdom and reason, I suddenly reached into the drawer and pulled back a startling piece of property.
Of all the things in the world I could have found, a Twilight DVD was not at all what I expected.
Books were one thing to turn up, but a film?
Bowled over by the strange appearance of the DVD, I wondered when exactly it had showed up in the house. It hadn't been there when the rest of my possessions showed up – that much I knew with great clarity.
Digging further into the drawer boasted four more gift-wrapped DVDs, completing the entire Twilight series in film format. It couldn't hurt, I supposed, to watch the films. We had already read the books and the official guide. Perhaps the films would offer a unique plot perspective the books didn't. One never knew, after all.
Secretly quite excited to see the franchise from beginning to end, despite all the time I had spent with the real Cullen family, Quileutes, and residents of Forks, I decided to tell the Cullens instantly when they returned home. I nearly turned away and thought the matter at an end, when one last dark splotch showed in my peripheral vision.
Fallen between a pair of tall boots, another thick item made itself known. Mindlessly reaching for the last piece, my hand came away holding a package wrapped in the same gift paper as my uncle used. Feeling odd, I nonetheless unthinkingly opened the package to reveal a hardcover title with deep, dark tree trunks colliding tightly across a thick forest in a familiar pattern. Frowning as to why the image should be so familiar, I shook off the thought.
Entitled Wilderness in sad, romantic script and written by an author named S.K. Jackson, the book impressed me as incredibly depressing and hopeless even without opening the cover.
Shudders overtook my body as I once again observed the familiar dark trees on the cover of the book, yet still I couldn't recall why they seemed so recognizable to my eyes.
Whatever the kind of story portrayed in the novel, I knew instinctively I wanted nothing to do with it. At the same time, I felt drawn in a way that defied all logic – drawn to read the depressing piece of work in its entirety.
Shaken by the closing of a door in the house, I jumped and sent the book quite unintentionally into the depths of my tote bag from our Christmas craft nights. Pausing mere seconds to eye the novel apprehensively, I indecisively left it within the folds of craft fabric still stored in the tote for future projects. Glad as ever that I continued to block Edward from my head, I prayed Alice hadn't seen the strange new book in her visions.
Diverting my mind from the novel and focusing only on the Twilight film series, I finished hanging up the last of my new clothing and headed into the hall with five DVDs in hand.
"Hello, Mir," Esme's warm voice called to me from the other end of the hallway.
Spinning in surprise, I smiled at the motherly vampire, who stood brushing specks of lint from her outfit.
"I'm sorry I didn't greet you earlier," Esme added apologetically, coming over to hug me. "I was out gardening and I looked quite a state when you came in. It took almost half an hour of gentle scrubbing to save my coat from ruin."
"I can only imagine Alice's horror," I was able to tease vaguely, but Esme saw right through me.
"You must be so anxious, honey," Esme bemoaned suddenly, pulling me back into her loving grasp for much longer. Warmth and understanding suffused the lovely vampire and I buried my face in her chilled shoulder to soak up the much-needed sensations. "I know it's frightening to think about La Push. You know we're here for you, don't you?"
"I know," I was able to garble through the tears clambering to clog my throat of a sudden, squeezing the sweet woman around the waist.
"Edward looked so distraught last night," Esme went on softly. "It's difficult for him to let you go alone into a possible hostage situation with the wolves. Ever since the night of your first attack, he's put it upon himself to protect you at all costs."
"His friendship is so important to me," I spoke tightly, quietly. "I never meant to hurt him and I don't want him to feel trapped as I do, but…"
"I understand why you made him promise," Esme soothed my fragile pride, combing through my hair with her fingers. "Thank you for protecting him from his own recklessness."
Eased by the comfort of a mother, I pushed back against the insecurities and fears enough to function. Pulling back from Esme's hug took a lot of strength, but I finally did it.
"There's something all of you need to see," I announced a little less weakly.
"Oh?" Esme prompted, brows furrowed in concern.
"I always wanted to know how the films would turn out," I admitted a bit mischievously against my better judgment, holding up the five DVDs like a hand of cards.
Esme's laughter carried me through the rest of afternoon, along with a delicious cup of hot chocolate, until the rest of the family all wandered in.
The last to arrive after his shift at the hospital, Carlisle came upon a house already atwitter with the movies I had found.
"What has all of you so excited?" Carlisle asked amazedly. Considering our grim outlook since everyone learned of Leah's invitation, it was no small wonder the doctor felt shock.
"Mir made a fascinating discovery," Esme answered for all concerned, smiling pleasantly at me.
"What was that?" Carlisle wondered, intrigued by the mysterious event as he glanced my direction.
"These films," Jasper answered, tone distracted as he observed the cover of Eclipse in one hand and gestured at the other four DVDs spread out in the hands of the family.
"Based on the books, hm?" Carlisle wagered, accepting the first movie from Edward. From the edge of his vision, Carlisle took keen notice of his first son's emotional climate, reaching with a discreet hand to squeeze the younger vampire's shoulder.
Tossing a brief look over his shoulder, Edward smiled at his father; a blip of muscle movement proved no more joy than a true frown would have done. The burning dishevelment of Edward's coal black gaze struck deep in my chest, full of the distraught pain Esme had described to me and the knowledge of helplessness against what I asked of him.
"Should we watch them?" Emmett gleefully questioned, disconnecting my study of Edward and all the guilt that came with it.
"As long as no one tries to visit…" Rosalie stipulated uneasily, no doubt thinking of the Denalis most specifically.
"No one will visit," Alice ended her sister's concerns with a glimpse into the near future. "Not a single person – human, wolf, or vampire."
"I say we're free and clear, then," Jasper concluded with finality.
"That was a quick settlement, I must say," Carlisle chuckled uneasily, casting one last glance to Edward before returning attention to the matter at hand. "Very well. We have plenty of time this weekend. I'm bound to ask, however… How did you find them, Mireille? It seems quite odd they never showed in the house before."
"That's what bothers me, actually," I confessed, brows taking a nose dive. "I was putting away clothes in my closet and something suddenly fell from the top shelves. I looked down and found the DVDs in my sock drawer. I think they must have appeared much later than the other things, although why they're showing up now doesn't make much sense."
"Alice, did you see it happen like the other times?" Rosalie wondered of her sister, looking distinctly unsettled. "What if someone put them here on purpose?"
"Sorry to say I didn't see it," Alice sighed frustratedly. "But if a person had done it, leaving the films in such a specific place would require a deliberate decision. There's no way to deliberately place something like that – especially in a matter this significant – and avoid a vision."
"Are you sure a decision would have to be made?" Rosalie pressed.
"Consider it for a minute," Jasper spoke up, mind engrossed in strategy already. "Do we really believe a person somehow managed to end up on this property, in this house, in a specific room, stepped into a closet, put the films on a shelf, and then left… all without making a single decision?"
"It's highly improbable," Rosalie agreed, hesitating nonetheless over the fear of some stranger invading the house with deliberate intent.
"We would have smelled a strange scent around here at some point," Emmett added thoughtfully. "I mean, how often is this house completely empty?"
Esme shook her head as answer. "Never."
"Our visits to Denali," Rosalie pointed out.
"We were only gone a few days this time," Carlisle negated the worry. "An intruder's scent could never dissipate so swiftly. Even a full week gone, such as our trip in April, would not have fully eliminated a scent from our notice."
"Anyway, I worked in Mir's closet after this last trip," Alice recalled. "Remember I bought some things for her in Denali? I could never have missed an intruder's scent in such tight quarters."
"That's all true," Rosalie agreed, easing up a little more.
"Did anything else show up, Mireille?" asked Esme.
Starting from my own well of thoughts regarding possible intruders, I took a moment to think on the question presented. Keeping my features perfectly, carefully neutral, I took extra care to block Edward from seeing memories of the strange book and shook my head. "There was nothing else."
Two pairs of deep black orbs swept up the length of my face, attempting to penetrate the words I didn't say and seeking a reason for unasked questions I hoped I wouldn't have to reply to. On one side, Rosalie eyed the side of my face contemplatively with her razor-edged gaze, aware of more than what I spoke yet unable to pinpoint what. On the other side, Edward stared unblinkingly into my eyes, knowing better than anyone that an indefinable something plagued my mind and kept me from full truth.
Of the others in their new debate over watching the films versus simply sticking with what information the books provided, only Jasper suspected a level beyond common truth in my response. Yet I felt nothing more powerful than self-restraint; Jasper could hardly take anything from that, seeing as I exercised restraint for many different reasons and at many different times, excessively so since the Quileutes became involved in our lives.
And so my secrecy went unnoticed but for two suspicious and silent specters whom I knew wouldn't stay silent forever.
"So we'll watch the first two tonight and the rest tomorrow," Emmett verified for all. "Mir, have you seen the first one?"
"No, I haven't," I shook my head side to side. "At the time I disappeared from the other world, the first one wouldn't have been in theaters for another week."
"Then we'll take our time on the films," Alice piped up, smiling.
"What do you mean?" I queried in confusion to the mutual smiles of fond understanding passed around the others' faces.
"We all know you're still a fan in some ways, sweetie," Esme half laughed at me. "Remember what you told me upstairs? This part of you is still there and I think we can indulge a little longer."
"Once you've watched these films," Edward tacked on to his mother's statement, "I think you'll find a small form of closure to the part of you that still swoons over our once-fictional depiction."
Hardly able to argue with the well-made points, I flushed a tinge of pink, something I hadn't done in ages.
Laughter filled the Cullens, good humor overcoming everyone in spite of the highly probable impending drama with the wolves and I felt much less inclined to prideful disdain for their humor.
As usually seemed to be the case, Emmett took charge of movie time with immense aplomb while Esme helped me make dinner and – thanks to the hardy enthusiasm of Alice – a large bowl of popcorn no one would actually eat. I also took time to look over every cover for the films, reading cast names and plot blurbs to hopefully see just how large the movie intended to divert from its matching book.
By the time the film was about to begin, Alice and Edward had moved to monopolize either side of me with a blanket in-between each of us, although thankfully Alice was so tiny and Edward so thin that the three of us easily fit on the sofa together.
The first comment from the Cullens aired before Kristen Stewart's prologue speech even ended, and I wasn't all that shocked to find Edward's disbelief had started it all.
"There's no reason on earth we would let that deer run on so long," the lean vampire complained, apparently unable to help himself.
Feeling a strong nostalgia of our time watching Underworld in California, I smiled a little at the fond, distant memory.
"It's meant to focus on our dietary preferences," Esme pointed out, smiling fondly at her very literal son.
"Besides, it's just an atmospheric visual," Alice debated also, smacking Edward's shoulder to shut him up without ever even grazing me.
Giggling powerlessly when Edward scoffed under his breath, I knew already Edward was going to have a hard time watching the film and an even worse time arguing literal filming against insightful imagery with the four females in the room.
A few minutes later, Alice made the second comment as fictional Bella hopped in the car with Phil and Renee.
"You know, this actress fits the book description of Bella rather well," the pixielike vampire decided.
"She does, doesn't she?" I muttered, letting the topic die away as the credits began rolling and arid Arizona transformed into the fog-covered Olympic peninsula.
Chuckles could be heard throughout the entirety of Bella's reintroduction to Charlie, Forks, the Blacks, and other residents, as well as the first day at the high school.
"Lauren is conspicuous in her absence, as is Ben," Jasper considered of the familiar yet unfamiliar 'characters' from school. "Did they combine some of the students into a single character, I wonder?"
"I think so," Alice shrugged, thinking more deeply on the matter for a moment. "Jessica seems like a mix of her and Lauren. And I feel like Ben has been amalgamated with Eric Yorkie."
"Good judge," Edward agreed. "They do seem to fit into one character here."
Immediately on the tails of our discussion, the music changed and Bella sat up to take notice of something new.
"Oh, here we go," I mumbled, a grin spreading across my face as the 'Cullens' entered the screen at last.
Rosalie remained completely unimpressed by Nikki Reed and Kellan Lutz, on whose forms she had momentarily paused the film.
"He's not nearly bulky enough for Emmett," the blonde complained. "And why earth is his hair so short? Surely a curl wouldn't have been so hard to manage. As for her… well, the only thing I appreciate is her portrayal of self-assurance."
I hadn't really expected much more from Rosalie. After all, no one could top her own beauty.
"What. in. the. world. is. my. actress. wearing?"
Alice's vexation, express through tightly gritted teeth and a heavy glare, had no match in the entire universe, for Ashley Greene's version of Alice Cullen wore the oddest clothing. It didn't strike me as stylish so much as a fleeting fad of someone trying to be unusual.
"She looks like a preppie hippie selling beads out of a caravan!" Alice fumed louder, arms crossed over her chest. So engrossed was Alice in her anger that she seemed not to notice the heavily muffled laughter all around her. Even Carlisle couldn't restrain himself.
"She's exceptionally tall, as well," Edward slyly remarked, eyes slipping sideways to gaze at his surrogate twin sister.
"Unlike the actor playing Jasper!" Alice snapped, annoyed more than actually angry as she gestured sharply towards the screen she had now paused the same as Rosalie before her. "Honestly, how does that measure up to what we read in the books? He's described as tall and leonine, not short and stocky."
"The man is hardly stocky, Alice," Jasper himself stepped in on Jackson Rathbone's behalf, heartily amused by his tiny wife. "In fact, he appears to have a decently lean musculature, as I do."
"His face has a firm structure, too," I playfully tossed into the abyss of teasing.
"Shut up," Alice threw back at us both, bringing more laughter and a continuation of the film.
When Robert Pattinson stepped onscreen, moving though the doorway of the cafeteria to a sudden, attractive stretch of music, I turned knowingly to observe the reaction of my lean companion.
One look and I couldn't help bursting with laughter at Edward's thoroughly disgusted features.
"Pathetic," the bronze-haired vampire grunted simply.
"He's perfectly adorable in this scene," I teased, although I meant every word.
Rolling eyes to heaven and back, Edward tossed a pillow lightly at my face. Catching the soft projectile with ease, I just smiled and turned back to the film.
Biology and its associated drama caught everyone's breath with its accuracy, Edward's struggle surprisingly well-conveyed by the actor portraying him. Greater still, the later van incident caught everyone's attention, giving a more powerful visual identity to the circumstance.
Trust a movie to break up the seriousness of the moment with a fantastic feat of magnificence. If I had laughed at Edward's character entrance in the film, it was nothing to the raucous noise that left me – and the entire family – when Peter Facinelli swaggered into the emergency ward with an attractive grin. None of it matched what I knew of Carlisle, of course, but that was precisely why it made us all laugh so impossibly loudly.
And the man was quite attractive, I had to admit.
"Oh my God, Carlisle," Esme shook against her husband's side, and I swore if she were human she would have been crying tears of humor. "If you ever walk like that, I might have to slap you silly."
"If I ever became such a farce, I would welcome your sensibility," Carlisle laughed also, holding Esme comfortably within his arms.
Bella's dream of Edward brought another laugh, this time rather more embarrassed in nature, but nonetheless real.
"Uproot a tree, hm?" Edward remarked in my ear a little while later, sharp amusement glittering through his voice as the film showed precisely that scene. "Are you sure you haven't watched this one already?"
"It was in a trailer," I confessed, tamping down a slight grin as Edward laughed in full.
Most of the film progressed from that point with a remarkable amount of humor, but especially Charlie's reaction to learning Bella had a boyfriend and the Cullens first meeting with Bella at the house.
"Esme hasn't been done too terribly," Rosalie commented moderately of Elizabeth Reaser upon first seeing the woman onscreen. "She doesn't seem as gentle as Esme, but she has the look of an ingénue."
Esme tried not to smile too widely, but amusement displayed itself prominently on her face.
After the baseball intrusion, amusement dropped off immediately, but after reading the much fuller exploration of Bella's feelings in the books, the film just didn't strike as deep in the heart. Alice's background revelation also came off much better in the books.
As nice as Taylor Lautner seemed to try and make Jacob, his expression always gave me the strangest feeling he was hiding something, a sensation I couldn't associate with the Jacob Black I knew, who wore every feeling on his sleeve.
"That was weird," Emmett said of Victoria's presence at the prom, features scrunched.
"Probably another visual anomaly," Edward uttered, not bothering about being sincerely unheard.
Emmett wasted no time putting in the second film, and the beginning certainly grabbed a person by the horns, so to speak – both the race to Volterra and Bella's uncomfortable dream of becoming old like her grandmother.
"This one's going to hurt a little," I stated without fanfare, thinking of Jasper, the paper cut, and wolf prejudice shown in live action.
"Most of it," Edward sighed, probably thinking of his leaving and near-suicide.
"The hair is terrible," Alice sighed over hers and Jasper's cuts. "And I can't even find words for the fashion anymore."
Jasper chuckled at his mate again, drawing an answering scowl from the tiny woman.
Contrary to his bout of humor, Jasper growled vividly at his own scene when the party went so wrong, but Alice returned to his side in a heartbeat to ease some of the guilt and pressure with understanding.
"Oh, Edward," Esme whispered sadly of the painful forest breakup, Edward's obvious pain where Bella couldn't see him, and Bella's blind following. "I'm so glad we know better now."
Edward found no words for the situation in which he might have put Bella under his previous misconceptions, but darkness entered a pair of eyes already black as night.
Emptiness compounded by a horribly sad and fitting song, Bella's listlessness and nightmares buried any hope of humor in the captive audience we all made. Worst of all were the emails to Alice, a new texture added into the film interpretation that didn't deter from the story, but rather enhanced it for a change. I found tears rolling over the brim of my eyes as the scenes progressed painfully and I imagined the real Bella Swan, Charlie's baby girl, hurting so awfully.
At the sight of my tears, Edward's expression became absolutely appalled, darkness swirling away to expose paramount worry.
"Sorry," I breathed through a half laugh at my ridiculousness, sniffling and swiping away the tears.
Unconcerned with anything else for several moments, Edward pulled me under one arm and didn't look away until the tears had dried up and I was able to focus on the movie again.
Jacob and his friends definitely lightened the load, even at the movie theater when he tried to convince Bella he would never hurt her as Edward had done. Once the prejudice entered the scene, however, everything changed.
"Isn't he a little short for a wolf?" Alice twittered humorously of Jacob's post-transformation appearance.
Even Alice's satire couldn't bring my spirits back up. My own fears of what the wolves might do once I was under their jurisdiction pounded against self-confidence with a strong arm and left my nerves on edge for the rest of the movie.
The terror of Edward's suicide attempt destroyed peace entirely, flaunting edgy contemplation of the possibilities right up until Bella awoke to Edward in her room back in Forks.
"They diminished Carlisle's reasons awfully," Esme berated the filmmakers. "That was a shoddy explanation of why he agreed to change Bella."
"I'm sure they never expected for the real individuals to watch and judge their filming process, my love," Carlisle offered, smiling lovingly at his wife for her defense of him.
"That's no excuse," Esme said with finality, squeezing Carlisle's hand.
"And so the rivalry begins," Jasper later grumbled of the ending debate between Edward, Bella, and Jacob.
"Tomorrow will bring a lot more emotion and discomfort," Alice mentioned, nose crunched up distastefully as she watched Edward's onscreen offer of marriage.
"Let's not argue about Bella's choices again, Alice," I sighed tiredly to the tiny vampire as I recalled the argument from a year earlier. "I don't think we'll ever agree on that."
"I can hold off, I think," Alice poked fun, but her promise was true.
It was Alice's promise that helped me sleep, along with Edward's unanticipated return to 'Moonlight Sonata,' a helpful and calming revival I appreciated more than words could say.
"Thank you," I whispered gratefully to his distant ears.
In the last moment of wakefulness, Edward came into the blurred lines of my vision and offered two comfortable yet troubled words.
"You're welcome."
Morning brought with it both hard-to-grasp memory and fresh curiosity. Changing comprised more time than I wished, but I was too distracted to speed up the process further and instead took my time before heading down to breakfast.
"Emmett is chomping at the bit," Edward later informed me quietly at the island counter, not so much watching me eat as drawing circles upon the countertop in abject dispassion.
"Isn't he always?" I digressed calmly, but inward worry for Edward's considerable depression writhed and flexed in my unsettled stomach.
An empty plate signaled the end of breakfast and the beginning of movie-going in a matter of seconds. Part of me - the child which yet pranced in my inner consciousness – imagined Emmett crouched impatiently by the nearest tree, ready to bolt into the house the moment Rosalie gave him the go-ahead.
Amused in small measures by the unreasonable daydream, I smiled and didn't bother arguing when Esme snatched my cleared plate, glass, and utensils to the sink. The motherly vampire reappeared in the living room behind Edward and I, having washed the few dirty dishes in all of three minutes, tops.
"Everyone ready?" Emmett pronounced to the seven of us, and while his voice emulated a circus ringmaster in high spirits, the burly vampire's eyes told of a hesitation even he couldn't fully eliminate.
"As we'll ever be," Jasper muttered with a roll of his golden eyes.
Offering the former soldier a heated look, Emmett nonetheless ignored his brother and proceeded to play Eclipse.
An unknown character started the film, the young man quickly becoming prey to an unseen force we all knew very well was a vampire. By the end of the scene, we had no idea who the young man was, only that he was probably a victim of Victoria somehow, considering her actions – in conjunction with the love triangle – were the main precipice of the third book.
"Could that have been Riley?" Jasper suggested curiously as the screen switched to Bella and Edward in the meadow.
"It's possible, I suppose," Carlisle agreed tentatively. "It's a very prominent scene, so it would make a great deal of sense."
No one felt very appreciative of the drama between Jacob and Bella, Edward's manic overprotection only adding fuel to the fire. Edward groaned more than once at the maddening play between them all.
The scene with Charlie at the police station later confirmed our previous suspicions, proving Riley Biers was indeed the young man in the opening scenes.
Rosalie openly growled at the situation between Paul and Emmett during the chase with Victoria, the blonde furious over the treatment that would likely have occurred with her husband under the circumstances.
Yet Rosalie could not have growled loud enough to match the entire family rumbling with anger when the parking lot confrontation occurred, nor when Riley intruded on Charlie's house and Bella's room, nearly feeding from Charlie in the process. Each successive argument and moment of tension fed our own anxieties as the search for Bella's intruder persisted.
Laughter from every throat startled us all when Edward eventually remarked on Jacob not owning a shirt, myself most of all. Even once the Quileute tribal meeting began, giggles had yet to fade from my throat. I could just picture the real Edward saying that exact phrase in all due sardonic disposition.
Mayhem in the newborn army took some of the humor away. Bree's initial fear, a mere shadow of her later terrors, inspired deep sadness for the young girl who never had any true, authentic chance of surviving and becoming her own person in the original timeline.
For a moment, when Jacob forced a kiss upon Bella onscreen, I nearly reconsidered Rosalie's capacity for growling fury. Emmett, angry as he also felt by the visual representation of Jacob's wrongdoing, was forced to hold his wife close and calm the beautiful vampire as much as possible.
Not a single person in the house was without that indignant rage on Bella's behalf.
As if the events hadn't already drawn a line in the sand, it had to follow up with Rosalie's history in Rochester.
"I can't watch this!" Rosalie spat through snarling lips, and in a blink of the eye she had disappeared from the room – and quite probably the house.
"Keep watching without us. We'll try to be back afterward," Emmett promised vaguely, following whatever direction his wife had gone.
Nikki Reed might not have looked like our Rosalie to such a heavy extent, but the very idea it was supposed to be her in those horrifying circumstances reminded me all too keenly of the damage Rosalie had endured so many decades ago.
From Edward's arm around my shoulders, I regained small amounts of comfort with which to ease a new slew of tears.
"I'm just glad it's not as graphic as it might have been," I dared to admit, although I feared Rosalie hearing my words and taking them far in the wrong direction.
"She's not close enough to hear," Edward informed me calmingly, reading my face even without my thoughts open to his ability. "I don't think she would berate you, in any case."
Lightly reassured by the thought, I nodded and settled back into the sofa while Riley bellowed at the newborn army to keep a low profile.
Hissing now accompanied growls when the Volturi guards stood discussing the newborns and their purpose. Alice scowled over her ability being so widely known to the Italian coven, bringing out a twist of Edward's features.
"I'm—" Edward attempted speech, but Alice cut through.
"Don't even try!" the pixielike vampire snapped, glaring at her brother. "You haven't done any of this."
Defeated before he began, the bronze-haired youth sat back in silent acceptance, buried under mounds and mounds of grief and regret for what he might have revealed to the Volturi in another life.
Graduation and Alice's party subverted only the merest attention from true trouble in the form of the newborns and Riley that would soon come to Forks for Bella's life. Still none of the onscreen Cullens had realized Victoria's leadership, but as we watched battle practice, and the story of Jasper's tragic life with Maria began to unfold, it seemed logical the light bulb would soon flicker.
Inexplicably, Jasper's story didn't disturb me the same way Rosalie's did. Maria in live action form looked frightening, but no real sense of fear took hold of me. My long-ago sense that I would one day meet the bloodthirsty creature struck again, but as always it felt so incredibly far away in time. As if it might never happened at all, although I had learned not to doubt my gift so heavily.
Alice didn't seem at all bothered, either, by Maria of sorts on the screen, but I considered perhaps she had already seen the closeness of Jasper and Maria during her visions in the 1920s. Besides, the entire family had met Maria in Calgary. To an extent, closure had been reached, whereas Rosalie would not allow herself full closure.
Closure or not, however, Rosalie returned with Emmett in a slightly gentled frame of mind. Just enough to make it through the end of the film, I suspected, but didn't say aloud.
Dreams as a resolution ground made so much sense for Bella, and for tying in Jasper's history to the overall plot of the movie. Battle and love-inspired angst contentiously vied for dominance as the newborn battle grew closer and closer, building through to the final battle between Victoria and Edward.
"So they turned me hapless?" Edward grudgingly noted of the moment when Victoria and Riley held his head locked in their grip. "In the books, it was a fully intentional plan to make them think Seth and I weakened."
"I suppose they wanted Bella to have an unflappable reason for cutting her arm," Carlisle decided.
Esme agreed with a nod and expanded on her husband's theory, "In this version, Bella had a real reason to protect Edward; her choice empowered her. But in the books it was an unnecessary wound that didn't actually change the outcome of their battle at all."
"I think it was very necessary in the books," I debated the point, frowning lightly. "Even if Bella didn't change the battle's outcome, she proved just how far she would go to protect Edward. It's just another way she showed how much she loved him – similar to her actions in Volterra."
"All well and good in these alternate timelines, but not as useful now that things are changing," Edward interrupted rather more loudly than strictly necessary.
Spying the annoyance in his face, Esme and I shared a look of mutual comprehension. It was best to let the subject fade for the time being.
With a somewhat happy ending under our belts, everyone found relaxation inasmuch as we had a time to pause in our movie-going and gather thoughts and wits back to normal functioning order. Edward and Rosalie, most of all, appeared world weary and already thoroughly prepared for the films to be over.
Esme had been kind enough to step back while I muddled through emotional tension without her assistance in the kitchen. Prepping a complicated lunch became my survival method, dropping my mind into the thoughtless movements of cutting, slicing, mixing, tossing, pouring, and a dozen other things I usually avoided when I cooked. All for the sake of not thinking quite so much.
Sooner than anyone was ready for, we reconvened in the living area, the last two-part film sitting innocuously on the fireplace mantle.
"Well…" Jasper began, leaving the single word to trail off into a sigh.
"Just play it," Rosalie jumped in with the air of someone ripping off a bandage.
Emmett didn't argue his mate's recommendation and put the first part in.
While I found many reasons to enjoy the first part of Breaking Dawn, it was mostly an easy viewing of light plot moments. Even the honeymoon scenes didn't cause much fuss. Too much darkness had occurred in the first three films and jokes no longer came easy. Emmett tried twice, to a general round of chuckling, but that was all.
Pregnancy and the horrible dysfunction of the Cullens and the Quileutes hit harder than anyone knew how to face, the highly possible disconnect quite prominently troubling. Bella's emaciation was done so well I felt a little sick at the sight of it. Renesmee may have been a glorious gift to her family, but Bella's starving, dying body was not.
Bella's last moments as a human were gory and dreadful to watch. Surely there would be a cleaner, healthier way for Bella to have Renesmee in our timeline, what with all the information the Cullens now had.
"You can prevent that decline of her health, can't you?" I turned to Carlisle, desperate for confirmation.
"We'll be aware of the dietary changes from the start and keep Bella healthier," the doctor comforted me with a small smile. "There is now no reason Bella would have to live like this during the pregnancy. We can also minimize damage by being ready to birth Renesmee earlier."
Overcome with relief, I exhaled peaceably. If I was not able to see the results when Bella's time came, at least I felt immense relief just knowing it was possible to help her.
Jumping only a little when Bella's eyes finally popped open to reveal gleaming red irises, I half laughed at myself, aided by Edward's chortle.
"Next one up, Emmett," Alice prompted the bulkiest Cullen, who paid strict adherence to the order.
Fascinating as Bella's new life was, the distractingly odd looking interpretation of Renesmee kept me from becoming too heavily invested, as it seemed to do for the Cullens as well.
"Perhaps they should have waited a few more years for this film," Jasper frowned awkwardly. "The creative process doesn't seem advanced enough to accurately convey Renesmee's unusual growth and development compared to the beautiful appearance Bella noted in the books."
Nobody argued, which settled the matter well enough as the story grew darker with Irina's harrowing choice. At last we sat at the edge of our seats as the full, final war grew between Cullen and Volturi, witnesses gathered on either side.
In the end, no amount of calming or distraction had prepared us for the films' greatest deviation yet.
Had I been a vampire, I would have joined in on the wrath of the Cullens when Aro captured Alice and Carlisle ran to her protection. But I didn't need to be a vampire to match horrified sounds of shock as Aro and Carlisle met mid-air and the power-hungry leader of the Volturi revealed the ending defeat – Carlisle's severed head.
Carlisle Cullen looked next to nothing like his onscreen portrayer, but that didn't stop Esme from bursting into tears her body could no longer produce. Alive and well beside Esme, Carlisle pulled his wife close. The gentle doctor offered no protest whatsoever when Esme buried her face in his whole and unbroken throat, as if to reassure herself he yet lived.
No tears fell down my face at the reveal. As the characters on the Cullen side stared insensibly at a scene which made no sense, so did I. Carlisle's death had no right to take place and I couldn't move past shock enough to grasp that it apparently had a strong possibility of occurring under Aro's greedy acquisition.
Each of the Cullen children around me roared approval as war commenced and the crowd of witnesses surged forward with rage for the unreasonable death of the one who drew all of them together in one pact of faith and friendship.
"Go Jazz and Bella!" Alice sternly cheered the two onscreen vampires as Bella protected Jasper from Jane's sick power, allowing him to battle onward as the expert veteran soldier he was.
The moment Alec turned to eye Bella in the use of her gift, I cringed and nearly turned away, but my horrid mind could not follow what my heart desired. As if killing kind, gentle Carlisle wasn't enough, the filmmakers had to go one step further into another terrible crime.
Impossible to believe and understand, Alec distracted Bella and Jane soon had freedom to use her gift on Jasper.
Real or not, Jasper suffered unreal levels of pain unto the last moment of his death. Movie Alice screamed in a way I suspected could never cover the true depths of agony our own Alice would truly feel at the sight of Jasper's terrible death.
Indeed, our Alice made a sound I could not fully identify, caught between a squeal of pain, a bottled scream, and a repressed sob. Similar to Carlisle and Esme, Jasper scooped Alice up in his arms and held her tightly in his lean grip.
For the multitude of cold veneers Rosalie had worn over the span of her life, this one time she bore acrid mourning close to the surface, not bothering to hide the love she felt for her family. Pressed by his solemn mate, equally serious Emmett paused the film to let the family take a moment to recover their senses. If there were to be any more deaths, they would need to build back a little of their strength before then.
Cold fingers grasped mine comfortingly, and to Edward's concerned and angry face I turned with an expression full of stupefied bewilderment.
"Are you all right?" Edward asked softly in spite of the wrath still beholden in his tone.
All I found the capability to do was nod, the mindless numbness of it completely opposite the depth of grief and sadness which should have been beating in my heart. These deaths made no sense; they were wrong beyond anything I could imagine – and my imagination ran wild on a good day.
Edward squeezed my hand and reluctantly let the moment pass untested, a sigh wresting itself from his throat.
"Emmett," Alice at last called her brother through a tight throat, thin fingers clenched within the folds of Jasper's sweater.
"Yeah, shorty?" Emmett cued as kindly as any big brother could manage to be.
Drawing a breath from the depth of her soul and releasing Jasper's sweater, Alice exhaled in one short huff and answered, "Let's get moving."
Sending his vampire parents a questioning look, Emmett asked them without words what they would have him do.
To the surprise of no one, Esme raised her head to hold Emmett's gaze.
Esme's reply was simple.
"Go on."
Fortune smiled enough to let our next scenes focus on Emmett's own role, rushing in to bash Alec into the ground and rip him in two, followed by Alice's burst of power in overcoming those who held her down. With the death of her beloved, Alice became a furious force of strength, ruining all who stood in her way.
I kept telling myself death couldn't get any worse, but after so much disbelief, finally something knocked me from shock directly into realization of my deep-seated anger and sorrow.
Kind, open-minded, generous Seth Clearwater, a mere baby even at the time the film was supposed to take place, was tortured and his body broken. All the while that poor sweet boy suffered, Jane smiled.
Leah howled her agony to the sky and Jacob faltered in his escape just when the dam burst and tears rolled down my face.
Raging mad and tremendously hurt as the babyish face of twelve-year-old Seth swam in my mind, I shouted into the room at large, "He's a baby! Just a sweet young baby!"
Distressed and apprehensive, Edward did his level best to pull me back even with sobs breaking free from my chest, but I pushed his hands away for reasons I didn't understand. Everything was so overwhelming and these weren't even the real people I knew. Just the thought of it, though… the mere idea that Carlisle, Jasper, and Seth might die left me bereft. I barely knew Seth, but he had formed a place in my heart with his sweet, childlike admiration for Edward. I loved them, all three of them, too much to imagine losing them.
"Come here, sweetheart," Carlisle whispered almost tearfully, now on his feet and reaching softly for me, slowly pulling me under his strength. How he managed to keep me close when all I felt was a need to run away, I had no idea. Perhaps his potential death drew me to hold on while he was very much alive and there with us all.
This time it was my own emotions that forced Emmett to stop the film. Carlisle held me in a ring of nearly impenetrable steel arms with his head settled gently atop mine. Buried there in a father's embrace for an age, I let loose my pain and cried until the noise fell at long last to quiet sniffling.
Pulling back only a small fraction, Carlisle slipped his finger under my chin and lifted my splotchy red face to meet his eyes. "Any better?"
Shrugging unthinkingly, I shook my head in a vague semblance of agreement.
"I would like Jasper to help you manage your feelings," Carlisle recommended. "Just until we have finished the film, if that is amenable to you?"
Congested and feeling a headache from my crying fit, I didn't have the will to argue and perhaps it was for the better.
"Good," Carlisle settled in relief, smiling slightly as he gently guided me in a turn to face Jasper.
Alice had since moved to sit with Edward again, her dark eyes following me understandingly. Jasper stood waiting with one hand outstretched, brows drawn in lines of disquiet, but he produce a brief upward twist of his mouth and I felt strangely comforted by the image.
As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around the vampire who had become a wonderful older brother in the past year, I knew it could sometimes be a little difficult still.
Scoffing only a smidgen, Jasper pulled me in without any hesitation, hugging somehow more closely than Carlisle; if only because Jasper knew more intimately the precise emotions flashing within me.
Jasper and Carlisle mutually decided when to restart the film, based mainly on Jasper's gauge upon my sensitivity.
Jacob's defeat, even in grief, of the vampire tracking him rallied a tiny nudge of hope, but seeing Edward and Bella under siege helped nothing.
"Can he do that?" Emmett wondered incredulously of Benjamin's move to split the very ground between Cullens and Volturi.
"I believe he may possess such capacity, yes," Carlisle determined of the young man.
"It doesn't seem to be an entirely helpful move," Rosalie decreed angrily when Esme and her aggressor fell upon the edge of the ravine.
'Not Esme,' I thought nervously. Reigned in by Jasper somewhat, I nonetheless prayed Esme's death was not one of the possibilities forced upon us to watch.
Leah's choice to protect Esme warmed me, barely holding back the upset of Leah's death in the process.
Part of me surely snapped in half when Edward fell into the chasm and I wanted nothing more than to slap the smirk off Demetri's face.
In a flash, my outrage morphed into laughter as Edward burst from the falling rubble with a rebel yell to take Demetri down in one snap of the neck.
Everyone joined my amazed laughter when Jane looked around in fear and came face to face with one ferocious and choleric Alice Cullen.
Quite beside myself and beyond any kind of decorum, I murmured hopefully, "Kick her ass, Alice."
Alice herself burst with a bold, shocked laugh as the words left my lips and we both turned to share a stunned gaze with each other. Glancing peripherally at Esme's surprise, I bit my lip with only minute sheepishness.
Esme shocked us more when a laugh escaped her as well and she remarked empathically, "Amen to that!"
Roaring with laughter, the men of the family had to force their humor down rapidly before we missed Alice clutch Jane's throat and drag her over to Sam. Loud cheers went up among us as Sam ripped Jane's head from her body, Alice not even staying to watch the end of her enemy.
Caius and Marcus' deaths were both fitting in their own way, a suitable end to both the evil destruction of Irina at Caius' hands and the end of Marcus' long grief since Aro destroyed Didyme. Aro's end, however, took the form of the sweetest poetic justice.
Two gifts which he coveted now turned even more fully against him, Aro gave as good as he got, but his death was assured under Edward and Bella's capable teamwork.
Barely had I thought how little Aro's death balanced what had been lost, before the fire cleared from the screen and the music abruptly cut to quiet in a matter of seconds.
"Now, just wait one stinking minute!" Emmett was the first to call out, staring dumbfounded at the screen as everyone else did.
Aro now stood whole and unharmed.
Alice stood before him, Aro swiftly releasing her hand in great unease.
"What!" I exclaimed next, mouth hanging open.
Each face of the gathered witnesses on both sides of the battle passed the screen, Aro observing each one lost, each one who fought until their likely death in Alice's vision.
Music rose in a crescendo of miserable heartache, swelling strongest when Aro's red sight caught and held Carlisle's golden gaze across what might have been their field of battle – and of death.
Alice's words to Aro explained so much and left so much wanting, as the real Alice told us all dejectedly once Emmett paused the film again.
"This is what I saw," Alice stated without fanfare, even appearing exhausted. "This was the vision in the books that sent me running away with Jasper. All those deaths, all the people who mean so much… obliterated by one man's greed. I can't help but believe only Jacob and Renesmee would have survived, just as Bella predicted."
"But this wasn't even hinted at in the books," I engaged in discussion, thoroughly confused. "There was some interview where the author said a battle would have turned out badly no matter what, but…"
"The books couldn't very well have the vision play out in the text," Alice rectified her statement more clearly. "It was all in the minds of Aro, Edward, and myself. From Bella's point of view, this would never have been seen, because she couldn't see the vision in my mind. And no one would be giving the details until well after the meeting took place – if we survived it."
No one knew what to say to that, leaving us in silence that lasted through the film's post-meeting relief and the culmination of Bella's small, but perfect piece of forever.
Awash in joy for the end of a steady stream of agonizing emotions, the Cullens rose from their places and mingled with new ideas and relief welling in their souls while the sentimental credits played out on the television.
Much of my thoughts wandered to the lengthy battle and its many losses. It didn't really matter to me if the battle vision made sense. I was just mad the filmmakers had put us through so much unneeded pain and misery before watching the true – happy-ish – ending.
"They didn't exactly know we would all be watching," Edward muttered in my ear, taking the seat Jasper had vacated now that my emotions were under control.
It took me a few minutes to comprehend how Edward could have known what I thought of the bait and switch tactic used in the movie, but his next words easily cleared it up.
"Bait and switch is an apt description, I'd say. Well done, Mireille," the mind-reader clarified, a tiny grin spreading over his lips as I realized with horror that my thoughts had been broadcasting loud and clear for quite some time.
"Please don't stop on my account," Edward murmured, but his smirk failed to convey the snark I prepared for. Lips pursed, Edward added to his response, "I like hearing your thoughts."
"I thought you hated hearing thoughts," I mentioned, brows tucked into a frown. "Now you're telling me you like it."
"I don't like everyone's thoughts," the bronze-haired vampire corrected, eyes rolling naturally skyward. "Just yours."
"I think I'll take that as a compliment," I hesitantly pronounced, bringing a true smirk to Edward's lips.
In the aftermath of our cinema day, when all talk had reverted to the lighter subjects of the moment, no one seemed to want to touch the DVDs on the mantle.
Happening to meet Alice's eye across the living area, I nodded slowly to her unasked question. Together, the two of us carried the five Twilight DVDs upstairs and stored them well hidden away in the so-called 'library' area amongst all the Cullens' craft of forgery.
On the way back into the hall, in the quiet of the third floor, I fairly burst with a question dying on my tongue.
"How did you react so… lightly?" I asked more impolitely than intended. "I'm sorry, I just… it was horrible."
Alice just smiled understandingly of my question.
"If they had looked more like us, it would have been enormously terrifying," Alice explained, shrugging and throwing her arm around my shoulders, "but they didn't. I think that's why it was a little easier on me. Moreover, knowing Jazz was there with me countered the chance of full grief overwhelming me. Granted, the remotest possibility of Jasper being… That scene haunts me even so. Silly, I guess, when he's sitting right there with me, but…"
"Terrible as this might sound… I think that's one of the most sensible things I've heard all day."
Stopping on a dime to hug the tiniest Cullen tightly, I warmly validated Alice's aching fear and we returned the day's activities reconciled mildly to our shadows of grief.
For all the warmth I shared with the Cullens that day and the complete trust I felt for them in all things, I required surprisingly little second-guessing to perform an action – more accurately, the lack thereof – beyond my full comprehension at that point in time.
Two nights after we had finished the Twilight films, while most of the Cullens continued to wrap up their Christmas shopping and Edward hunted upwards into Canada for the hope of a mountain lion, I sat in the privacy of my room with unblocked thoughts but tightly-controlled emotions.
Jasper took the night watch, so to speak, so I wasn't alone in the house. Thankfully the former soldier quickly lost himself in taking notes upon another historical essay and left me to my own devices. As such, I felt few worries about bringing my tote bag into the open on my comforter.
Innocuous in and of itself, the bag from my most recent craft day at the church sat still and unassuming before my sights. Yet shudders nearly overtook my body before I reigned them in with a will of steel.
Within the folds of red and green felt, a thick novel still lay – by pure coincidence – buried and waiting. Waiting for what exactly, I had yet to decide. And if I wanted to be careful, I wouldn't make a firm decision anyway, but at some point I would have to either brave the storm and read, or give up and simply show the Cullens my find.
Crafts were beginning to dwindle for the hospital Christmas party and soon all my hiding materials would be gone. Until I determined which path to take, the strange and discomfiting novel would remain in its prison of soft material and I would continue to block thought, feeling, and decision, as I had become so excellent at doing in the presence of my beloved Cullens.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed Chapter 12: Attempts!