Holding Out
Chapter 14: Holding Out
I felt excited to my stomach. Or that might've been the breakfast the hospital provided me. I was excited either way so might as well not think too hard about it. It was a school day, so no one was going to come. Well none of my school friends. Today Natsuki promised to bring her guitar and my own, so she could teach me.
Last night ended with her telling me what time she was going to arrive. I was able to sleep peacefully, embracing my stuffed wolf cub that remained hidden underneath my pillow along with my camera. Rcently I found a picture of myself holding my wolf cub while sleeping with a smile on my face. After was a friendly picture of Midori.
My collection has grown, even though I was in my hopsital clothing for the whole time, I didn't look half bad. I had pictures of Youko and Midori, Youko, Midori and I, Natsuki and Shizuru, Natsuki and I, Yukino and I, Mikoto and I, Mikoto and Mai, Mikoto, Mai and I, Chie and Aoi, and many group photos. I can't wait to add it to my scrapbook. I hope they let me do that before sending me to America.
Oh yes, Youko confirmed what Natsuki said during my morning check up. She apologized, but I guess I didn't mind. She said I would stay for a year which troubled me. I wouldn't get to see Natsuki and the rest of my friends for a whole year...At least she told me so that I knew that I needed to tell Natsuki how I felt within 3 months. Yup, three months, thats how long I was to stay here. I sure as hell better enjoy these three months.
The door swung open and Natsuki was holding two guitar cases. She unravelled what I assumed to be hers first. It was a beautiful guitar that was blue with a grey trim and random red designs. I admired the face of a wolf at one part and read the 'Kuga Natsuki' on the neck and 'Duran' on the body. She placed the strap around her snugly and then took out mine. I watched with curious eyes as she took it out and I felt my smile widen. It had a red base with green trims and a darker green with red designs along the neck. 'Yuuki Nao' was on the body and on the neck there was no name.
"Julia," I said. She got to put 'Duran' on hers so I wanted 'Julia' on mine.
"You're going to name this 'Julia'?" she asked, one of her eyebrows raised, "Then shall I do the same to your electric guitar? Although I doubt we'll be able to get to that before you need to go." She then placed a strap on mine and handed it over to me.
"I'll be there for a year," I muttered accepting the guitar. It quickly left her hands and landed on my stomach. "Hey be careful Natsuki!" I yelled rubbing my stomach with a frown, "What are you, stupid or something?"
"S-Sorry Nao," she responded quickly sitting at my bedside next pulling out books and sheet music, "I don't know what hit me."
"Whatever," I retort with a pout, "You know I'm ill now so you should be more careful."
"I said I was sorry," she replied in an annoyed tone, "Be happy that I at least bothered to get you your own guitar."
I sighed as I started to delicately scan my guitar.
The next four hours was filled with me learning hand positions and chord. She also told me stories about her learning the guitar with a private tutor while Shizuru encouraged her while she drank tea. We ended up eating dinner together and I showed off how quickly I learned the hand poisitions and I ended up spilling some of my soup on her and we got into an arguement. It ended with a laugh so it was all good. She's now in the bathroom, she's going to show me one song then we're going to take a break to simply...Talk I guess. Maybe I should take advantage of this.
The door opened agin to reveal Natsuki
I smile, maybe I should try. Actually, I want to, no, I have to, I need to ask her, "Natsuki..." I mutter trying to find the strength within me to ask.
"Yeah Nao?" she responded sitting at my bedside again.
"Um..." I begin, feeling a little shy. "Will you...Come with me to America?"
Her eyes widened, oh no, dn't tell me she's going to say no.
"Nao..." she mutters, I could feel some sort of strange emotion coming from those words, "I...I..."
"Please!" I beg, I knew my eyes showed how much I wanted her to go.
"Nao..." she repeated looking at me with a smile, "Of course."
I nearly jump out my bed but instead I resort to pulling her into an embrace, "You're not joking right?" I ask seriously afterwards, "You'll really go right?"
"I will Nao," she assured me returning my embrace, "And I can continue teaching you there too." I loosen my grip and push her away.
"You...You said yes just so you can continue teaching me?" I ask in a nearly dead tone. I wonder, is she taking me seriously?
She shook her head, thank god, "Nao...I want to spend time with you. And I want to be by your side. I can't have you stay there on your own."
I smile and feel wetness at the corner of my eyes, "Natsuki..." I mutter, "You have no idea how much this means to me." And that is not an understatement. I can't stop the floating feeling that's building up within me. I feel so out of it, yet I can't control it. I feel like screaming, I feel like saying those three words now. But I get distracted as she plants her hand on top of my head. Her touch was like magic, making me forget what I was previously doing.
"Hah," she responds simply stroking my hair again. I like this feeling. She then released me from her touch and grabs her guitar.
"What song are you going to play?" I ask wiping away my tears. I have to stop acting like such a sap.
She strumed her guitar once, "How about...'Sleep'? Like we sung before? Since you do know it."
"You can still make it sound good with just the acoustic?" I ask. There are quite the few instruments in the song.
"It's possible," she responds, "I've done it before."
"Well then go ahead sensei," I say in a mock voice. She rolls her eyes then begins to play.
tearing through this ghost town
they haunt the lifeless streets
still it seems they call our names
they call our names
we'll never feel the same
tonight will pass us by
as we're breathing in this moonlit air
tonight will pass us by
as the world it seems to disappear
but i'm asleep at the wheel
another destination far away from here
where the streets they call our names
they call our names
we'll never feel the same
again
but tonight will pass us by
as we're breathing in this moonlit air
tonight will pass us by
as the world it seems to disappear
but i'm here with you
we will drive forever
we will drive forever
i'm here with you
but now I'm asleep at the wheel
and still the streets they call our names
they call our names
they call our names
Throughout the whole song I was watching Natsuki's fingers as she played. As she finished I look up at her, she stares back at me.
"That was good," I mutter, "Your voice is a little low so it works."
She sighs as she puts away her guitar, "I guess you can only appreciate how much effort it takes when you really learn how to play."
"You heard me Natsuki, I'm going to get better than you!" I yell with confidence pumping my fists.
She smiles softly turning to me after putting away her guitar, "I can't wait for that," she admits now putting away my guitar, "Tomorrow I have work so I want you to practice okay?"
I nod in response, "When will I get to see you then?" I asked, my tone serious.
"About 11 I guess," she responds looking up thinking about the time, "You're lucky I take time out of my free time to visit you."
"And I'm honoured," I reply in a mock voice smirking, "Really and truly I am," I then say honestly, "Like I said before. I enjoy your company."
She gave me a warm smile coming back up to me laying a hand on my head, "And I enjoy yours. Now I'll see you tomorrow." With that she laid a kiss onto my forehead giving me a red face and a gaping mouth. After that she turned to leave without turning back.
I lift my left hand to touch the part that she kissed, reminding myself of the sensation of her lips on my skin. My heart started to hurt again, my eye hurting again as well. I realize that I didn't tell her. I got carried away with being happy with the fact that she's going to come with me to America. I hopes she accepts my feelings, because if I have to go through the pain of a rejection, then end up still feeling like this around her, or maybe forming these feelings with a different person, I'm going to kill her. That's if, I am able to. Ugh I have got to stop thinking about this stuff and get it over with. It's so painful too.
Damn my carelessness. Gah, at least I have three months left, you don't need to rush things Nao. But...I really, really want to tell her and get it over with. Goddamn it, why am I so stupid?
Actually, you know what? Feeling this rush form within me I get out of bed and use as much strength as I can to run out. Luckily, Natsuki was still walking in the hallway.
"Natsuki!" I yell to get her attention.
She turns around and raises one eyebrow, "Nao? Wait why are you out of bed?"
"Goddamn it Natsuki!" I yell feeling the wetness form in my eyes again, "I...I...I lo-" I feel my knees shaking, damn this stupid illness. "I lo...!"
"Nao?"
"Natsuki..." I could feel myself collapse on the ground. The cold and hard ground. What's worse is that I landed on my hand. I felt some pain strike through it.
Natsuki comes to me picking my up carefully. I felt some other wetness fall onto my cheek, but I can't tell what it was because everything faded to black once more.
A/N: Now I know nothing about playing the guitar so bare with me since I skipped the scene. yawns Now I won't tell you whether it'll be 3 chapters more or 5. Or for all we know it, there could be only 1 left! GASP. Thanks for everyone's support along the way! I would've had more out, but school's in the way and I have lots of homework. xD Now review for me my pretties.