"Well that was hot as hell! How are you doing, Naruto?" Said Jiraiya, who caught the playful act between all those girls. It was even hotter than what he could got in those brothels!

"Why are we still here? Just to suffer?"

"Uh, you okay, gaki?"

"I have no talent, and I have to scream. Don't you think so, Jiraiya? Hehehehe. Am I really too sexy for my talents, sir? Or, was it stupid? Hahahahaha...WAAAA-"

Jiraiya knocked the crazed Naruto out before he could wail further. He then sighed as the tadpole started to grow his second leg. Once again Naruto showed that he's both surprisingly talented and incredibly talentless at the same time. The little guy somehow managed to get a just hatched tadpole as his first companion in his first try. You were supposed to summon random toads before you get the big ones, not to pick one as your companion.

"Huh...It seems like the Kyuubi really messed with his ability to summon stuffs."

"And I am still not agreeing with throwing him off the waterfall to force him to summon the toad. Are you really willing to throw his life away, Master Jiraiya?" Asked Ebisu, who decided to monitor Naruto's training with Jiraiya. And he was not happy with the plan B, which was basically threw Naruto off the cliff so he would summon the big one, and unlock the ability to draw Kyuubi's chakra in the process. Said Kyuubi chakra had many potential, both to train his durability with experiencing that much chakra, and as a failsafe against Neji in case that all his chakra points were locked.

"The Kyuubi will keep him alive." Jiraiya retorted.

"And he won't forgive you if this means he'll miss his Final exam while recovering. You know that he's fighting more than just to wipe the smug Hyuuga's face, right Master Jiraiya?"

"Yes. It's to avenge his friend." Jiraiya said solemnly, before his face contorted into something perverted. "In fact, I am more than ready to write books about the love that will blossom between him, the Hyuuga princess that he avenged, and Cherry Blossom that realized her love after he started to take interest in another girl! Oh, it's gonna be my best book ever!"

Ebisu got a nosebleed, knowing that the draft made Hinata into some voluptuous goddess that rivaled even Tsunade, and Sakura into the one with sexiest behind in the region. Oh, he was so glad that he punted Konohamaru to Iruka for a while. All those sneaking to glance at the Icha-Icha drafts were really worth it. "Oh, that's so expected of you, Jiraiya-sama! Eh, I mean no! That's not what I meant! This fight is his first chance to show his ability in front of unbiased audience since they will be filled with our Shinobi and visitors from other villages. Do you think he'll appreciate that his first big fight will have him cheated with the Kyuubi to fight Neji? Think about the possibility that he thought he won not from his own talent, sir. It could turn him depressed!"

"I know the most about that seal after Minato, and frankly this is the only way!" Jiraiya snapped, before he relented and decided to just tell everything. "The thing is, Naruto took after his mother who took a long time to show her talents, and even she didn't look so...hopeless. So I take a look after Minato's design, and found that it will severely crippled Naruto's chakra stability until someone jump-started his chakra with Kyuubi, several times. Making him capable of using Kyuubi is not me giving him some cheat codes in life, it also me give him a right that was stolen from him, and that was his rights to become a great ninja, a rights that had been stolen from him when Minato sealed the Kyuubi. Naruto mastering the Kyuubi, is the only way for him to become The Shinobi that he always wanted."

"I see...wait a minute." Ebisu said after he realized something that Jiraiya said. "So you know Naruto's mother, Jiraiya-sama? Mind telling me who she was?"

"She was a proof that not everyone born ugly will stay like that." Said Jiraiya, obviously enjoyed the nostalgia. " The tomato girl, Kushina. One of the most violent girl that I have ever see. Even when she was 14 I still couldn't see what Minato see on her. And when I took a three years break, and come back to vouch for Minato as Hokage, that girl's beauty, reminded me that Tsunade used to be flat as broad. She was so pretty that I apologized to Minato for mocking his taste in girls. Even matured to the point she became a really sweet woman, instead of the brutal tomboy that she used to be. Well, there were times when she still hit people, but that personality still took a big improvement."

"Maturity can be a real gift." Jiraiya nodded to the remark. However, it did not take a long time to Ebisu to realize something from it. "Wait a darn minute. Are you talking about that same beautiful redhead that Minato married? You telling me now that The Fourth is Naruto's father, and Uzumaki Kushina is his mother?"

"The hell?! Are you telling me you didn't know? Look at his fucking hair, that is all from Minato's! How the hell did you missed it?"

The Special Jounin glanced back between the Hokage mountain and the unconscious Uzumaki, and much to his horror, he found the truth. "Oh shit! It's really him!"

"You fucking dumbass!" Ebisu now found himself grasping for breath as Jiraiya choked and shook him in anger. "I knew you used to scoff at the sight of my brat! Are you telling me that my godson have been mistreated because this village's this idiotic? You make me almost glad that I took the spy duty instead of looking for my godson out of sorrow! I thought you all were really ungrateful to his last request, not because you were this stupid! And worst of all, I don't know which one's the worst!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was so blinded with my hatred against the fox that I could not see it with my own eyes!"

"Maa, to see someone finally realized the similarity is always hilarious to me. Then again, it only happened to Teuchi and Anko...or, is there someone else?"

"Kakashi! What are you doing here? I thought you have to guard Sasuke from Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked as he released the poor special Jounin from his grasp.

"Taking a weekly check to my favorite student. And don't worry, I'm just a clone, the real Kakashi's still training Sasuke." The cyclop Jounin explained.

"You're not worried about running out of chakra? You can barely make two Kage Bunshin."

"Nah, I'm fighting with taijutsu currently. Anything else you need to talk with me now?"

"It seems that Jiraiya-sama somehow thought that throwing his godson off the cliff will make a good plan B to accelerate his summoning training. I vehemently disagreed, but he make a good point about the possibility that Naruto needs to unlock the Kyuubi chakra for his own growth. If I may ask, what do you have in mind regarding this last resort?"

"Hmm..." The clone thinking for a while, before he made a decision. "I think the training can be modified to give Naruto better chance to survive..."

"Ooh...my head..."

"So Sasuke, you need something similar with this oil to improve your fire damage and duration..."

"Hn...so, should I smear Gaara with the oil, or use it to enhance my range instead?"

"Hey! Where am I? Are you abandoning me for Sasuke, ero-sannin?" Said Naruto, feared that Jiraiya have abandoned him due to his lacks of talents and now teaching Sasuke instead.

"Ah, Naruto! Don't worry, son, I'm just giving Sasuke some advice after I take a look at his seal."

"Eh? Wouldn't that violate the rule since we supposed to not see each others' new skills? And why it's so dark here?"

"Oh, that's because you're trapped in a barrel." Kakashi explained.

"WHAT?"

"You don't have to be worry. You won't be able to see what Sasuke's doing now, anyway." Ebisu added.

"That's not what I'm concerned with now, you closeted pervert!"

"Now, now, Naruto. At least it's better than my plan to throw you off the cliff."

"Are you crazy? That's going to kill me when something's going wrong, ero-sannin! Oh, you'll get a foot up your ass soon, you crazy bastard!" The barrel shook like crazy, obviously its forced occupant wanted to break out to get revenge.

"Relax, Naruto. All you need is to summon something big enough to break the barrel. And don't even think of using Shadow Clones for it, I've sealed it so you can only use something with very solid body. Even your enhanced clones won't be able to last there."

"Think about it, Naruto. If you're injured thanks to this training, then you don't deserve to be promoted anyway." The one-eyed Jounin explained.

"Okay, okay! I'll do it." Said Naruto, before he added one more thing. "Just so you know, I'm going to wait you three in hell if this killed me!"

"Don't worry, dobe. Your denseness will did a good thing this time."

"You too, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, obviously did not appreciate what he said.

"Just in case you wondered, Naruto, this one is not my fault."

"Huh? You mean there are more assholes that involved in-"

"You talked too much, gaki!" Jiraiya said as he pressed a button, caused the river to somehow become even faster. And with that, he released Naruto's safety mechanism. "Good luck, my brat!"

With that, Naruto yelled his lung out.

Yamato cried in joy at the sight of his own creation.

The waterpark of Yamato, was truly a construction to be behold.

Well, as soon as he painted it and made the rest of the slide, then everyone else can see the same beauty that he was so proud of. But otherwise, he thought that he did a good job.

"What color I should give it, Sakura?"

"How about blue?"

"Nah, I think green is the better color." Said a certain voluptous woman in trench coat. She had been teaching Sakura, who decided to forfeit or not in the exam.

"Relax, girls. There will be another slide, so both colors will be used. But for now, let's see if my creation can do its job."

"...Um, Yamato-san? I think it's really looked ugly with the original color. Well, I mean your houses are nice, but...this one isn't." Sakura quickly added to avoid making the guy angry.

"Well, you may have a point. Maybe we should-"

"AAAAAAAAH!"

"Oh, poo. They already did it without calling for my permission first."

"I-is that Naruto?" Sakura asked in fear for his safety.

"Yup. And my first tester as well. Let's hope that he'll summon his big frog in time before he reached the end. Oh, wait. If he made it in the track, he could destroy it. Should he just do it when he fall?"

"Is that all you have in mind?!" The pink-haired girl screeched in frustration.

"Goddamn, you really are obsessed with construction." Said Anko, somehow chagrined by Yamato's newly found hobby.

"No, no! I want him to be safe, but I also want the slide to stay intact. Naruto! Don't use the biggest toad there! Something twice your size should be e-"

Unfortunately, Naruto already went freefall before Yamato finished his sentence.

"Uugh...where am I?"

Naruto looked around at his rather damp surrounding, and he found that the floor was flooded. His first thought, however, was not the flood, but rather the much more warm end behind him.

Turned around, the young boy decided to search for that warmth first. Slowly, the flood disappeared, and so did the damp feeling.

When he reached that room, Naruto found collections of everything he cherished, almost like his own little museum. His first good memory when Jiji took him to Ichiraku for the first time, his now certain memories of Hinata and several other students actually looked for him, his time with ANBU and Kakashi, and of course, his time as a ninja, where not only he found that he was never being lonely, but also had people who cared for him finally able to show how much they cared, including many civilians that he thought had nothing but contempt at him, as if he was lower than dirt.

Smiled slightly, Naruto's resolve strengthened after he looked at the good memories that was stored in that room. He then walked to the other end of the hallway, hoped to find something good, despite his fear. After all, even his dimwitted mind made a remark that the flood was probably a reminder of his pain from being so lonely for many years. Whatever waited for him in the other room could be incredibly painful.

The blonde Jinchuuriki frowned slightly when he found the T-junction. The left of it left an incredibly cold aura, probably stored his worst memories and hatred. Decided to avoid visiting that room at all cost until it was unavoidable, Uzumaki Naruto went to the right way instead.

He found a large cage, with something titanic inside it.

"So...my jailer decided to visit me."

"The...The...The Kyuubi?"

"The one and only. And don't say anything, I know you are only here because you're going to die. Tell me. How? You choked on those ramen? Your genital caught on fire because you tried to extinguish your roast with your little manhood? Or you got food poisoning because you didn't bother to check the expiration date?" Kyuubi taunted, knowing his tenant's stupidity.

"Shut up! I got sealed by my crazy godfather in a barrel, and he threw me into a waterfall! Now we're falling to the ground as we speak, and we have not much time!"

"Well, we actually have plenty of time since a second outside means a minute here if I want to..."

"Oh! Come on!" Naruto whined.

"Just kidding. Here. Take my power. Do whatever you want with it to save yourself."

Naruto suddenly got energized. He felt like he could do anything with the new energy that he had. It was a no wonder why he strived to become stronger and stronger. The thrill when he managed to reach the goal was amazing! "Thanks, Kyuubi! You know, for a big bad fox you're not so grumpy!" Naruto added, surprised that the fox was even helpful, let alone tried to joke around him.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Said the Kyuubi, before he added something. "Oh. So I can do that. Mind me if I take a hike with you?"

"Huh? Wha..."

I could see that big smoke, which meant that Naruto succeed in drawing the Kurama's chakra.

Indeed. That was Gamabunta. Mission accomplished. And ooh boy, me and Yamato's going to be rich! That slide's surely have been verified by Anko's-

Kurama? How the hell did it come here together with the toad?

Oh, dear. This was the worst kind of alternate scenario...

Jiraiya-sama, miscalculated the strength of Naruto's seal.

"No...it's not supposed to be like this." Jiraiya said, in even much worse horror than me. Meanwhile, Ebisu went comatose just from the sheer trauma of recognizing that evil aura so close. Naruto himself was already unconscious, definitely from being strained by the summons. It couldn't be good.

Before Sasuke asked anything, I already made him sleep with my sharingan in an attempt to make him thought the big bad fox was just a weird dream. I assumed that Anko did the same thing with Sakura, since she now carried her away from the area.

As Jiraiya launched himself to the Kurama, Tenzo approached the nine-tailed fox to suppress him. Myself charged a raikiri. It might not did anything to the powerful beast, and unlike Jiraiya I won't have a chance to survive this alone if the bijuu managed to land a hit on me, but this was the only thing I could do, and as a ninja, I won't ran away from any-

"Who summoned me? Oh. Hi, Kyuubi!"

"Ah, Gamabunta. Such a nice day to feel freedom after years of being locked away, right?"

Jiraiya ended up miscalculated his steps, I ended up electrocuted myself with the raikiri, and Yamato was so surprised, his wood jutsu ended up curved and hit Jiraiya to the cliff instead.

Man, what the hell is going on here? How did Gamabunta ended up being friendly toward the fox?

"So you're telling me that you have come to respect Minato-san and Kushina-san, you proved that you could behave to the point you are free from your cage in Kushina-san's mind, and even he allowed you to the land of the toads to get some friends. And Minato knew that your sudden hostile behavior is not the norm, so he didn't bother to make extra seals against you. Is that correct?"

"I definitely have to say yes."

Damn you, Jiraiya. Why was I alone with this intimidating monstrous embodiment of chakra? Good thing that Kyuubi already entered Naruto again before I interrogated him. But talked with his clone alone already drained my sanity. His chakra felt so...tainted. No, I couldn't call it evil since Kurama's not evil. But this guy's almost like a personification of malevolence. No wonder humans resented the bijuus.

"Well, this is a very good news. The big bad fox is not that bad after all. But why did you went on rampage?"

"You have that cursed eye, right?" I nodded. "That's exactly what happened. Fully evolved Sharingan is basically an overpowered gift. Even without going Mangekyo, those eyes can disrupt my chakra flows, enough to make me retreat for a while. And Mangekyo...that damned eye. It forced me do things I won't bother to do, even when I stepped on elephant's poo!"

"Somehow, I can relate to that. Is it Madara?"

"If it is him, then there's something changed about him. Madara controlled me once, and that masked man was more...pitiful. Almost like there was a sense of lost and betrayal happened to him, instead of just a vindictive desire. Either Madara grieved for something before returned, or he hijacked someone's body. But hey, what can I say? I'm not an investigator, so take what I said with a grain of salt."

"We'll take a note on that, regardless." I said despite knowing the truth already. "So...what was Naruto supposed to do? You already know that not all humans are bastards, and you're certainly not purely malevolent. Doesn't that means that you can give Naruto your power already?"

"Not so fast. First of all, Naruto's not strong enough, which should be obvious. This means that he won't be able to control my power. Also, Minato only sealed part of me in Naruto, because he knew a baby's chakra system won't be able to control me no matter if he sealed it in Uzumaki. He hid the Yin part of me somewhere else, and that other part's much more resentful of humanity, even desiring its death."

"So he deliberately put your even more malevolent half with Shinigami-sama since it would put Naruto in harm?"

"Exactly. My Yin-half, if anything, would be Naruto's real challenge. Locating itself would be a pain in the ass since Minato asked Shinigami-sama to seal it with his soul, which means that Naruto have to somehow contact the Shinigami, and Naruto would have to defeat the other me. And to do that, he had to face himself."

"By that, he means his own doubts?"

"How did you guess everything correctly so far?" I didn't budge despite his demanding tone, and the fox let the insanely correct guess go. "Well, it's something like that. But it could be even worse since negative feelings could turn into something hateful. So instead of consoling a crying child who wished to have friend, he'll have to fight something...murderous."

Yeah, I already know that. "So Naruto have to fight himself. And it's probably going to become an eternal struggle unless he figure something from it."

"That's right. And Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"Minato and Kushina's in me somewhere. Find them, they will be very useful for Naruto."

With that, the clone dispersed. And I took a little consideration on what he said. Would it be just the same with what happened in canon where they help him to suppress Kurama, or it would be something different? Or what if...they became his stands!

Oh, wait. This wasn't Jojo.

Man, all the changes, while favorable, were too crazy for my own good. What's next? Neji's father turned out to be alive? Ha! As if.

Fuck. My. Life.

That was Hinata's uncle, aka Neji's father, visiting his niece secretly. And I accidentally found him when I about to visit Naruto.

What the hell is going on here?

"Ah, Kakashi. Long time no see."

"How...did you..."

"As it turned out, the Hyuuga abduction plan wasn't made by A, and not by his predecessor either. So when he found out about it, he became...furious. But alas, he couldn't just take out the conspirators since they had enough influence to create civil war in Kumo. So...they had to pretend that they really tried to take my byakugan, and my seal protected the eyes. I went hiding here and there, sometimes trained with B. But to honor my devotion to my village, I never took any mission under their name." The assumed dead man explained.

"So I assume that they only managed to take the conspirators recently. What now?"

"Let's just say that I am now a...living bargain. If Konoha decided that they couldn't make a deal with Kumo to get me back, then I'd just return to my old job back."

"Maa, it might sound like me bugging you too much, but what's your new job?"

"Lyrical eemcee." Wut? "Aaah, I hope that Konoha really need me back. B's rhymes are whack. And I'm fed up with teaching that wanksta. Guru deserves more, 'cause his rhyme makes all relax..."

As Hizashi left me while rapping some lines that suspiciously sounded like something from Gang Starr, I asked myself:

Why. Just why.

"So remember, Sasuke. This jutsu's only usable for like four times on your current physical ability for now. Don't use more than my recommendation, or else you'll lose control of your seal."

Sasuke nodded, before he said, "What Itachi used as summons?"

I took a long breath. I knew the question would come as soon as Sasuke saw Gamabunta. "Crows. Mostly to confuse opponents instead of direct combat."

"Hn. How do I get one?"

"Either by asking one of the summoner to give you a contract, or by exploring some areas where you can find one. Those animals have anomalies, from ability to talk to being much larger than usual. However," I warned my cute little avenger, "Let's finish your training first. We can find your animal affinity later. It could be like my dogs that are useful to find and immobilize enemies, or something as destructive as Jiraiya-sama's toads."

"What do you think it would be?"

"Hmm...a giant eagle?" I 'speculated'. "Well it would be better for you to learn from someone who already have a summon. You could ended up being in a very hostile region. So if you want to get an original one...you better get stronger first."

Sasuke nodded, satisfied with my answer...I hope so.

Next: The Finals!

Also, sorry for the long delay of the updates, but I had to finish my college. Now I am free! Yay!

At least before I got a job...