Hello my loves!
So... it's a been a minute, hasn't it?
Lemme explain. So, if you've read some of my other one shots, you might know that I have a feeeewwww mental problems (like depression and anxiety and some other personal stuff) and it's usually under control with medication, but it has been acting up so much these past weeks as well as some stress and school busyness. So I've been laying in bed a lot. I've just felt really shitty, but I'm getting better again, and I just needed this break to really just recharge and do nothing. I feel guilty every time I do that, but I needed.
This chapter is also really short compared to other chapters for a few reasons. 1. It's all I could manage right now. The next one will be longer, I promise! 2. It's a little wrap-up from the Phantom Lord arc as we move onto the next one. 3. I couldn't cram anything more into it, so why force it?
Also, I might have to change my uploading schedule to once every 1.5 week-2 weeks. I'm stressing a lot lately, so I don't want to rush chapters. I hope you guys are okay with that!
Anyways, that was a big ramble ahahah.
I hope you enjoy this week's chapter!
The Scent of Dog - The Art of Crying in Choirs
Again, she was crying. How many tears did she have? How long could she keep crying? It seemed as if that was the only thing she could do these days, and she never knew why. Was it anger or sadness? Those things seemed to blur together in one big sea of despair.
Right now, Lucy had a lot of reasons to cry - most of them something a non-newborn wouldn't cry about. She was in so much pain that the room began to spin every time she looked around. The realization of how this whole ideal was her fault was also a big factor in her crying, as well as the thought of her injured friends. And lastly, she just killed someone.
She just killed the one person who had ruined her entire life - and she felt awful.
Only a few feet beside her, Jose's corpse lay still, burned beyond recognition. Quickly, Lucy had found out that if you stake a vampire, their body will go up in flames, making sure that there is no saving for them. One small piece of wood to the heart meant utter destruction for a vampire. Lucy didn't know what to do with that information.
She did know, however, that her brain was not letting her have the satisfaction of ending a chapter of her life. No, all she got was guilt and regret that she so unhappily tried to push back.
You know, you really are a monster.
Lucy's tears just intensified. Sniffling, she pulled her knees to her chest, letting out a choked sob.
"Lucy!" she heard someone call, not even bothering to look up to see her savior. Her hands were fisting through her hair, trying to stop the echoing thoughts from swirling in her head.
She felt two cold hands land on her shoulders, shaking her lightly to try to catch her attention.
"Lucy…" the voice tried again, but Lucy had shot her eyes closed and held her breath. She heard the person curse under their breath, lightly hovering their hand over her wounds. "Fuck… those bastards."
Daring to open one eye, Lucy looked up to see none other than Gray Fullbuster.
"G-Gray?"
The Izling nodded, retracting his hands, seeing as Lucy was snapping herself out of the hysteria. However, the calmness from the surprise was short lived.
"You were right," Lucy cried out, gripping her hair in frustration. Gray was watching her as that happened, not knowing how to react to her outburst. "I-I'm a monster. All I do is k-kill, and there's nothing I can do to stop it!"
Gray looked at the burning, corpse wincing in disgust.
Good. She thought. Now he could see how big of a monster she was.
"That's not true," Gray tried, kneeling down beside shaking blonde, careful not to touch her tender wounds. "I was wrong. I… I said those things out of anger. I'm sorry. It was wrong of me."
Lucy didn't listen. As her hands fisted into her hair, she let out a loud sob, the smell of burnt vampire flesh (both from herself but also Jose) edging into her nostrils, filling her with nausea once again.
"No, no, no, no!" she cried, pushing away his hands. The panic was rising in her, as the sobbing left her a heaving mess.
This all seemed like a good plan when she was actually killing Jose. He took everything from her, and he would likely do it to everyone else in his way. He was a destructor and he wasn't going to stop, so she did a good thing.
But why did the guilt plague her that badly? Why was her brain against her? She knew the newborn phase was brutal, but at this point, she couldn't tell what was her own emotions, and what was the vampiric fetus in her speaking.
Why was is so difficult to be alive? Or undead, to be precise.
She didn't know when it had happened, but through her hysteric sobbing, Gray had somehow managed to get a hold of her - not that it was that big of a challenge in her weak state - and was now carrying her in his arms, having a tight grip around her body.
Despite her eyes getting heavier and heavier, she was still squirming in his grip. She didn't notice that she was hitting his chest with a balled fist, mumbling for him to put her down, but her blows were so weak that she doubted he even noticed.
Why? Why did he decide to see her as a good person now of all times? Couldn't he see that she was still a monster?
That was Lucy's last thoughts as her body gave up fighting the fatigue and slowly accepted the darkness that came with it.
Natsu was falling in and out of consciousness. The bullet in his chest was slowly but surely taking over his body. Every time his heart beat, a jolt of pain went through his veins, and every time he breathed, his lungs expanded with agony. One tiny silver bullet did that.
It was as if it was alive, slowly stealing his life-force away. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak.
"Damn, they got ya good," Natsu heard a voice speak. It took less than a second to realize that it was Gajeel. His mood deflated immediately and an urge to yell at him once again snuck up on him.
Before Gajeel could speak again, another voice joined the conversation.
"Natsu!" a high-pitched voice exclaimed, and judging from the scent, it was Romeo coming running.
Natsu didn't have the energy to reply, his body feeling both woozy and fatigued by now.
"Ya part of his pack?" Gajeel asked, moving Natsu on his back. A yelp of pain escaped his lips. It felt as if the silver bullet was melting inside his chest, spreading to each limb of his body. He could feel the desperate beats of his heart all the way to his fingertips, sending jolts of agony through his body.
"Y-yes, I'm in his pack," Romeo replied, nervously rubbing his hands up and down his jeans.
Natsu understood. Although they hadn't formally formed a pack, their bodies and wolf-minds had formed one, binding them together as a second family. Despite thinking of the whole guild as his family, a pack was something entirely different.
"Alright, I need ya to help me here," Gajeel said, his voice sounding displeased with the whole situation. "We need to get a silver bullet out of his chest."
"Dad, look!" a nine-year-old Natsu exclaimed, holding up a handful of scrap metals. "The jewelry store just threw these out!"
Instead of an interested and proud look from his father, Igneel instead stood up abruptly and snatched the metal out of the young werewolf's hand.
"Brat, what did tell ya about silver?" Igneel scolded, throwing the silver pieces into the lit fireplace.
Natsu pouted, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "Th-that it can kill us," he repeated, watching as the metal melted away in the fire. "But dad! Isn't it just silver bullets?"
Igneel sighed, sitting back in his chair. "No. It's silver daggers, silver bullets, silver pieces getting stuck in your hands… just stay away from that damn metal, aight'?"
Natsu's small hands came together behind his back as he lowered his head in shame. "I'm sorry, dad. I just wanted to make cool jewelry for mom."
A slight pang of guilt painted Igneel's face as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on a golden frame around a painting of the whole family.
Standing up, Igneel placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "How about the two of us go down to the store and see if we can find some gold? Yer mom looks hotter in gold anyways."
A smile lit up on the young werewolf's face. Punching his dad's shoulder, he said, "Ew, dad! That's my mom ya talking about!"
That memory was edged into the 'life lessons' part of Natsu's brain. 'Stay away from silver' had been one of the more serious life lessons his father had taught him, and he felt pretty pathetic for not predicting the attack.
As he dared to open one of his eyes, he was blinded by the supposed darkness. It wasn't dark for him as his eyes were trained to all kinds of brightness, but the slight flickering of the torches sent a lightning of pain through his head. Damn bullet…
"Okay, Salamander, this is going to hurt ya so much more than it'll hurt me," Gajeel started, motioning for Romeo to sit down beside the older werewolf. "In fact, it's not going to hurt me at all."
"Yo-you're an a-," Natsu inhaled sharply as he accidentally moved his body. "An a-asshole."
Gajeel huffed, a smirk on his lips. "Save yer breath, you'll need it."
"Fuck you, Gajeel," Natsu spat. Of course, he was furious with his cousin for hurting Lucy, but the pain left him no room to even try to be nice. Every word was an extra irritation and he just wanted them all to shut up.
Ignoring the werewolf, Gajeel pointed for Romeo to sit by Natsu's head. "Hold down his arms, will ya? We can't have him squirming."
Romeo complied, fighting Natsu to lay his arms down. Natsu didn't want to move, so why the fuck did the need him to do it? Finally, however, Natsu let his arms go limp with a growl, the pain growing too great for him to handle. He felt Romeo using all his weight to hold them down, which wasn't exactly a lot, but enough to keep him grounded. For now.
"Do you know how to do it?" Romeo asked.
"Yeah. I've done a few times on myself," Gajeel nodded, opening Natsu's vest. "I haven't done it on a werewolf though, so this will be interesting."
"W-wow, thanks for telling me," Natsu slurred, feeling his body trying to stay awake. In all honesty, all he wanted was to go to sleep, but the last of his rationality told him he probably wouldn't wake up if he did so.
As Gajeel dove his fingers into the gunshot wound, Natsu's body shot upwards, an ugly scream of agony escaping his lips. It wasn't the contact with the wound that hurt - it was the bullet trying to stay in his body. It was as if it had its own life.
"FUCK STOP, STOP!" Natsu yelled, thrashing against Romeo's weight. The pain intensified by one hundred times, his veins throbbing as if they were filled with acid.
They didn't listen to his request. Gajeel had gotten a hold around the bullet, and was desperately trying to rip it out, but with no success. The harder he pulled, the more the bullet tried to bury itself into his flesh.
His vision was invaded by black dots as his roars and cries became louder. Was it melting inside of him? He couldn't tell, but it damn sure felt like it.
"It's not fucking moving," Gajeel growled, placing a hand on Natsu's bare chest to steady himself. Quickly he looked up at Romeo, his eyebrows furrowed. "Okay, kid, I need ya to hold him as still as ya possibly can, aight'? I'll use my vampiric strength now, so this'll hurt like a bitch."
Romeo nodded shakily, horrified at the amount of pain the older werewolf was in. "He's in a lot of pain, Gajeel," Romeo whispered, pressing down as hard as he could on Natsu's arms. "I can feel it. It is as his wolf is trying to make me stop it."
"I can see it," Gajeel muttered sarcastically, rolling his shoulders as he prepared to rip the bullet right out of Natsu's bleeding body. Natsu was long gone, screaming and writhing under their grasps.
Again, Gajeel dove his hands into Natsu's wound, desperately grabbing the bullet and pulling as hard as he could. Natsu's agonizing screams turned into to roars, strings of curses escaped his lips.
"Kid, use all your strength now!"
Natsu didn't even have time to guess what was going to happen as Gajeel pressed down with his one hand, and with one more pull, Gajeel's now bloodied hand flew out of the wound, the intact, shining silver bullet clenched in his fist.
Natsu let out the loudest roar of agony as his body was trying to find the silver bullet.
And then he began cried. He didn't remember the last time he cried. Maybe it was when his parents died? He didn't know, but he knew that he had been strong for far too long. In the morning, maybe he would feel ashamed for crying in front of his number one fan and his sadistic cousin, but right now, he let the sobs leave his mouth to numb away the pain.
"Natsu…" Romeo murmured, letting go of his arms, but Natsu didn't retract them. He just lay there crying out, tears wetting his face profusely. "It's okay, Natsu. It's out now!"
The words of reassurance did nothing. Right now, his body was recovering from the intense pain, and all he could do was to cry.
He couldn't recall how long he was sobbing on the ground, finally clutching his wound with his hand, but after a while, Gajeel spoke up.
"Let 'im," Gajeel muttered, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation as it was. Soon after, however, Natsu felt himself being lifted up, his tears never stopping, but his sobs turned into mere sniffles.
The last he heard before blacking out was Gray's voice. Why the fuck was that Izling here? His question was soon answered as he smelled the nauseating scent of Lucy's burnt flesh. She was safe… his mission was complete.
Now he let himself rest in the darkness.
Where was she?
.
.
.
"Make 'er feed," Gajeel panted, obviously out of breath.
.
.
.
Everything was black and dark and ice cold, but also white and bright and hot. Scolding, actually. Her body was fighting either accepting or denying those two sensations, not knowing which one to cling to.
.
.
.
Was she dead? This must've been what death felt like?
.
.
.
"Shh, it'll be okay," Mira cooed her hand on Lucy's cheek. Lucy didn't get it. Was she screaming? Was she crying? Why could she hear everything when she was dead?
.
.
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"Big guy told us to make her feed," Laxus hummed, his voice distressed. "How the hell do we get some blood into her system?"
.
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"Is that Flame-brain awake?" Gray asked
.
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Natsu… he was hurt. Lucy remembered hearing that.
.
.
.
It was all her fault
.
.
.
Everything that happened… it was her fault. Who else was injured? Who had shed blood or even died for her sake?
.
.
.
Why did everything hurt?
.
.
.
"Natsu…" she breathed as her eyes opened, the brightness blinding her.
So that was this week's chapter! I hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry for it being short, but I already explained myself.
Please leave a review of what you thought!
And idk if some of you thought Natsu was OOC for crying, but I just thought it was a pretty good way to show that even though he's strong, he can be too strong at times. Also that shit seems to hurt like hell. I would cry! lol
Until next time
/Sofie
Reviews
MotherOfDragons1227: Ah, me too! :') I just thought she really needed to kick Jose's ass aaah! Thank you so much for your support!
Bahall1964: This was such a nice review, thank you so much! Sometimes you just need a revenge (and blood) thirsty Lucy to take charge. c:
SleepinBeautyK: Sorry she didn't get to save him :( she was kind of blacked out, but hey GAJEEL SAVED THE DAY c: thank you so much for the support!
DropChat: Gotta love badass Lucy c; thanks for the support!
Stranger1999: He'll be okay! He just needed a good cry and for someone to take out the damn bullet from his chest ahaha c; thanks for the support!
Mayblood2468: Oh man, remember to stretch while reading my story then - we can't have you be tense xD
Guest #1: I guess you'll have to see if they are still alive c; a clue I can give you: Lucy will want to go home soon ;););) Thanks for the support!
Guest #2: Someone gotta give that boy a hug. Maybe also Lucy? Why not both? Thank you for the support!
ProudToBeAGinger: LANGSTON MY LOVE THANK SO MUCH! IT MEANS SO MUCH COMING FROM THE ANGST QUEEN HERSELF :') hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Animenerdd8: Du er den bedste, jeg håber det går godt! You can beta the next chapter if you have time again soon. Hope you're doing good and thanks for reading, my love!
Valythe: Thank you so much! I'm pretty new to writing fight scenes, but you know - gotta practice! Thanks for the support! c:
Animefan0789: Thank you so, so much for the review! Don't you worry, there will be a LOT of Natsu worrying about Lucy. And as I wrote to the guest a few reviews ago: You'll have to wait to see if they are alive. Clue: Lucy will want to go home soon ;) Thanks for the support!
ThayetJade: Nalu is also the shit that brought me to ffnet! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Mihiwera: I hope you get the time to read it soon! Take your time c:
CathJorda: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
KittyQueen23: Ahahahah great reference! I hope this chapter feeds your addiction ;)