Kim did her usual nighttime routine. She started with Avery and watched as her two year old slept. The last year had been a chaotic one, so much had happened and it was all caused by a single event.

It was akin to skipping stones on a lake, you may have thrown just one but the effects of that one stone rippled throughout the lake. That was exactly what the accident had done, and the effects lasted for months.

They had a low key celebration for Avery's second birthday just a few weeks ago, she hated that her little girl's birthday was overshadowed by the accident. She hoped that as the years went on it wouldn't be an issue.

Avery had grown by leaps and bounds, her speech exploded. It was hilarious to watch her talk, she was so animated. She to was a daddy's girl just like her big sister. Though Emme was never as possessive of Adam as Avery had become. Heaven forbid Kim tried to kiss or hug Adam in front of Avery, she would shout 'my daddy!' it was pretty cute.

She pulled the blanket over her, and placed a kiss on the top of her head and quietly exited the room.

She stopped at Mikey's room next. Her sweet Mikey he too was growing up way to fast he was four and fast approaching five. It was hard to believe he would be going to kindergarten soon. He was all boy, though he wasn't much for sports despite both Milo and Adam trying to get him hooked on baseball and soccer. Mikey preferred to search for bugs and frogs, and play in the dirt.

Kim was never quite sure what she would find in the laundry, she quickly learned to make him empty his pockets before he came inside. You only needed to discover a frog in the laundry hamper once. She had never screamed so loud in her life that day, Adam came tearing into the laundry room with a look of terror in his eyes only to laugh hysterically when she explained the situation.

Mikey was a unique little boy and she loved it. He was such a sweetheart and she loved his outlook on life, the dirtier he was the happier he was. She didn't care that it often resulted in mountains of laundry. Her baby boy was happy and that was all that mattered.

She tidied up his room a bit before leaving, she didn't dare kiss him. He was still an incredibly light sleeper and she wouldn't risk waking him up.

Emerson was next, her big girl. Her survivor. Her warrior. Sweet Emme had come a long way in a year filled with setbacks and surgeries. Her leg healed as expected, it was her arm that had given Kim many sleepless nights. A few months after she had been discharged from the hospital, Emme had fallen during a friend's birthday party at a gymnastics center. It was a party Kim had been iffy on allowing Emerson to attend but it was Emme's best friend and she didn't have the heart to keep her home. So they went and Emme was having a blast until she fell awkwardly from the balance beam and instinctively used her hands to break her fall. It resulted in a fracture of the arm she had broken in the accident and required surgery to repair it.

It was a massive setback and her recovery had been painful, but she was truly on the mend now. She wasn't allowed to play sports of any kind nor could she participate in gym class at school for six months, she was just a few months out from having that lifted. Though, it didn't seem to slow her down, they were constantly reminding her to take it easy and to walk.

Kim kissed her and headed for Milo's room.

Her big boy had been given the room they used as an office, sharing a room with Michael wasn't an option. Milo was a 'tween' now, and he made it abundantly clear that he was too old to share a room. His pitch to them was pretty cute, he had put together a presentation for them on why he shouldn't share a room with his little brother. Little did he know, she and Adam had already discussed the move. They gave him the pleasure of thinking he had convinced them to do it.

He was eleven, and growing like a weed. He was a bottomless pit and seemed to grow a shoe size a month. He had always been on the small side, but he had suddenly jumped to the top of the growth chart and was among the tallest of his peers. He had been at best a pretty average soccer player but had loved the game. He loved all sports, but they discovered baseball was his game, he excelled at it. He was now on a travel team and had tournaments all over Chicago and have traveled throughout Illinois for games. They had spent many hours in the car traveling to and from games but they all enjoyed it.

She wasn't surprised to see him still up watching a ball game, "Hey sweet boy" Kim smiled as she sat at the foot of his bed. "Who is winning?"

"Not the Cubs" he grumbled, "They suck."

Kim had to laugh, he was so Adam like it wasn't even funny. "Honey, it's one game. They won it all least season, they don't suck."

"Last season was last season, Mom. They're playing sucky tonight. Too many errors." He rolled his eyes, "When is dad coming home? Did you talk to him yet?"

Kim moved to lay beside him, he laid against her chest. The only time he would willingly snuggle with her was at night. The nights Adam worked were tough on Milo he was well aware of the dangers Adam faced when he worked and he always sought Kim out for reassurance and hugs.

Adam had gone back to intelligence once IA wrapped up their case, no one truly knew what had gone down during the investigation but it resulted in Voight retiring and Antonio Dawson taking over the unit, Al had returned and he was the second in command.

"I didn't get to talk to him. He's undercover. Hopefully he will come home soon. Don't worry about dad. He's a great cop and he has a great team. Al, Antonio, and Jay are all great cops. They take care of each other."

"Cause they're family, right?"

"Right. They're family." Kim smiled.

It was a work in progress, and they still had their struggles but they had buried the hatchet with Jay and he was slowly returning to their lives. Kim was grateful for that, the kids adored Jay and they loved having him back in their lives.

Jay had struggled after the accident, he too had lost a lot. He cut all ties with Erin and as far as Kim knew he hadn't spoken to her in months. He had yet to get back in the dating game but Kim hoped he would soon. He had a lot to offer and she knew he yearned to be a dad.

"You wanna watch the game with me?" Milo looked up at her.

"I'd like that, Milo. I'd like that a lot." She kissed his head and settled in beside him. She wasn't a big fan of watching baseball on television preferring to see a game live but she loved cuddling up with her not so little boy.

Jay tossed the bottle of water to Adam, "Nice take down Ruz." He chugged half the bottle in one gulp, "that was good stuff."

Adam laughed, "You seemed shocked that I did it." He hung his vest on the hook, "I've been working out" he flexed his arms. He'd never be the size of Atwater or have the washboard abs that Jay had but he was pretty fit.

"Lifting beers doesn't count buddy" Jay tossed his empty bottle in the recycle box, "How are the kids?"

"Good. Driving each other crazy but good." Adam returned the arsenal of weapons to the storage room, "you should stop by the weekend they'd love to see you. It's the first weekend without one of Milo's games in months. I'm pretty sure Kim invited Atwater and Kara over for dinner. You should come."

Jay sucked his teeth, "Man...I don't know. I'm not sure if Atwater and Kara want to see me. I don't want to upset them."

"They don't blame you Jay. None of us do. It wasn't your fault." Adam explained, he felt pretty shitty over the way he initially treated Jay, "Think about it man. Milo will lose his mind if you show up."

Jay shook his hand, "Alright. No promises though. Drive safe man."

Some things you never forgot no matter how hard you tried to push it from your mind, out of nowhere it would smack you right between the eyes. It left you rattled and gasping for air, it felt as if everything was falling at your feet.

Those moments used to send her to scrambling for a drink or a fistful of pills. Those moments now sent her looking for her sponsor or one of her 'sober' friends. She now had a support system, not a clean up system. She now had people who held her accountable, no longer did she have people who fell over themselves to clean up her messes or sweep her addiction under a rug.

She was an addict. It was a long overdue admission.

It had taken a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get to where she was now but she had finally done it.

She was clean.

She had her head on straight for the first time in a long time.

Her life was forever altered, she still talked to Hank. They had to face some harsh realities and they still had a lot of work to do but they'd do it together. She had lost Jay, she had let the idea of reconciliation go a long time ago she had destroyed his trust. Without trust they had nothing, she still loved him, but she had to let that thought go. He deserved so much more than she could give him, she was truly a work in progress. A romantic relationship wasn't in the cards now, she had no idea when she'd be ready to let someone in her heart again.

Jay would always be in her heart, and for now that was enough.

She had been moved to a halfway house and she started the outpatient portion of her therapy, and it was a nice change of pace. During her inpatient stay she was monitored twenty-four seven and it was nice to have the restrictions lifted just a bit.

She knew she needed to make amends, but how did you make amends with someone when you had hurt them so deeply? How could you make amends after altering their lives forever?

Was it even possible?

Adam couldn't keep the smile off his face when he found Kim curled up in Milo's bed, his wife and first born sleeping peacefully. He hated to wake her but the thought of sleeping without her by his side was almost more than he could bear.

He nudged her hip lightly, "Darlin', wake up." He whispered in her ear as he placed a feather light kiss on her temple.

Kim purred a bit as she woke, "Adam.." she rubbed her eyes, the television still on, "what time is it?"

"Just after two" Adam replied, he extended his hand to Kim to help her up, "Milo okay?" He asked before placing a kiss on his boy's head. He knew Milo worried about him when he was working a case. They did their best to shield the kids from the dangers of Adam's job but it was almost impossible. The media was forever dogging the Chicago police and Milo was aware of how dangerous it was to be a cop, it was even worse to be in intelligence or any other specialized unit. Adam did his best to reassure Milo but It was hard and Milo was afraid he'd get hurt.

"Yeah. He asked me to watch the game with him" Kim followed Adam to their bedroom, "it was nice to cuddle with him, I dozed off."

"Cubbies won" Adam kicked his boots off, "Came back to win it in the bottom of the ninth. We had it on in the surveillance van." He had been paired up with Olinsky and he enjoyed having the game on in the background as they watched Jay and Antonio make contact with their suspect. Though he was a little miffed that he ended up missing it the walk off home run, "Not that I got to see it, Olinsky told me all about it. I ended up chasing our guy for six blocks before I tackled his dumb ass."

He grimaced a bit as he attempted to pull his shirt over his head, "Oh..let me help." Kim helped lift the shirt over his head, the massive bruise along his rib cage was hard to miss, "Adam..."

He looked at her and shrugged, "I guess he got in a shot or two, I'm alright. Doesn't hurt too bad..."

"Well, I guess I don't need to kiss it then, huh?" Kim teased.

"Fuck it hurts, it hurts a lot." He laughed, pulling Kim into his lap, "it hurts all over babe, it was a rough night. I think I need a little lovin' to make me feel better."

"I bet you do." Kim giggled as she undid his belt.

"Left...now right...left.." Kevin stood behind KiKi holding her steady. Kiana was focused on each step, "Go on girl, you got it. Daddy is so proud of you!" He held her hips steady as she took each step with the aid of a walker. It had been a long hard battle but she was making strides, it was painfully slow some days but the good outweighed the bad. His girl was his hero, she had done far more than any of her doctors had expected.

He knew it though, he knew it from the day she spoke her first word after the accident. He hated that he had missed it and when he returned to the hospital and saw Kara pacing frantically outside her hospital room he was terrified. He had thought the worst and was elated when he learned that Kiana had spoken.

She didn't say much, but she had spoken.

Kiana had said 'No!'.

The doctor had been examining her and he had moved her teddy bear from the bed and she let him know she wasn't pleased.

Kevin couldn't stop the tears as they poured from his eyes.

His little girl was going to be okay, the doctors had tried to keep them from getting their hopes up, but Kevin knew. He knew that day that his little girl would be okay.

Now a year later, she was talking, and taking a few steps. She had finally been moved out of the rehabilitation hospital and was home and doing out patient physical, occupational and speech therapy. She was busting her ass to get better and Kevin and Kara couldn't be prouder of their little girl.

Things had finally started on to trend in the right direction for the Atwater family, and it was exciting.

Kim had been busy all morning, the house was a disaster. She had left the kids in Adam's seemingly capable hands to hit the gym and the grocery store before everyone was at the house for dinner. What was supposed to be just dinner with Kevin, Kara, and Kiana had turned into an impromptu birthday party for Avery. They would have a houseful in just a few hours, Jay was coming over along with her sister Nicole and Zoe.

Had she known that she would return home to this mess she would've bailed on the gym and brought the kids to the grocery store.

Coulda..woulda..shoulda.

Instead she sent Adam to the park with the kids while she deconstructed their blanket and pillow forts, and took care of the sink full of dirty dishes. Heaven forbid Adam wash a fucking plate. He could be infuriating some times, he was always getting caught up in some ridiculous game with the kids. She loved him for it, he was an amazing dad she just wished he wouldn't let it get too out of hand. He was her biggest kid some days.

Part of her release to the halfway house was to return to the hospital weekly to meet with her doctors and therapist, she was also subjected to random drug screenings. The first failure would result in a best case scenario of being readmitted to the hospital and at worst back to jail to finish the rest of her sentence.

She would do her damnedest to keep that from happening, and for the first time in her life she felt confident that she would stay clean. She knew to take it one day at a time. She was sober today and she'd worry about tomorrow..tomorrow.

Erin smiled at Dr.Paglia, "Hi. How are you today?" Erin sat opposite him, "It's beautiful out, isn't it?"

"Sure is. How are you adjusting to the freedom?" Dr.Paglia asked. "I've spoken to the director of the house, she spoke highly of you. Said you've been a model resident and you've taken to the program. That's good news."

Erin nodded, "I'm doing the best I can. I've got a lot to make up for. This is the first step. Staying clean and doing the right thing."

"I'm proud of you. Not everyone is lucky enough to be given the leniency that has been shown to you. You're fortunate."

"I don't know about that. I've made a lot of mistakes. Costly mistakes. I've hurt people that I loved. I hurt innocent people. Children. Sometimes I don't think I deserve to breathe..let alone see the outside of a jail cell."

"That's not up to us to question, Erin. You know that. Your job is to follow the program, take advantage of the opportunities you've been afforded. Don't blow it." He pulled open the drawer, "I received this letter the day you arrived here. It was part of your intake paper work. I was given very precise directions that you were only to receive it upon successful completion of the program. You've done that. Here it is." He handed it to her, "I don't know who it's from or what it says, I'm trusting you to read it and reach out for help if you need it. Call me or your sponsor. You think you can do that?"

The envelope felt heavy in her hands, "Yes. I can. I will call you if I need to." She turned it over in her hands hoping to get a hint of who it had come from.

"We need to head down to the lab, its test day."

Erin nodded, "I will pass with flying colors."

He returned her smile, he had been in the game long enough to know that relapses were par for the course and he waited for a clean test and never took his patient's word to be the gospel.

He hoped she was clean though.

Adam welcomed his dad inside, "Hey, Pops. Glad you could make it on such short notice." He took the case of beer from him, "The kids are out back."

"I'm glad you guys decided on a party." Bob set the present for his granddaughter on the table, "How's work?"

"Busy as usual. Hey, just a heads up. We invited Jay."

"Adam, that's fine. I have no issues with Jay. Today's about Avery. Let's leave the past in the past. Where it belongs. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go find my grandchildren."

Adam laughed as his father made his way out back, he set the beer down and found Kim in the kitchen, "My pops is here."

"Good. Kara and Kevin are running late. Will you make sure there is a clear path for Kiana's wheelchair"

"Will do." Adam quickly set about moving the furniture.

"Daddy" Kiana called out, her speech was still a bit garbled and she had to take her time and worked hard to form each word as she spoke.

"Yes?"

"I...wanna...w-walk" she stammered a bit, "Show...K-Kim..."

"You wanna show Kim and Adam that you can walk?" Kara finished for her, "That's a great idea, they'll love it and they'll be so proud of you!"

Kiana grinned from ear to ear, "I strong!"

Kevin leaned down and kissed her cheek, "Yes, princess you are. The strongest little girl in the world."

Erin wiped the tears from her eyes. The letter in her hand, stained with her tears. Of all the people she guessed the letter would be from her, she never would have guessed this.

She was blown away.

She couldn't leave things like this, she needed a face to face.

The party was in a full swing, aside from a few awkward moments when Jay showed up it had been great.

Jay had apologized profusely when he saw Kevin and Kara come through the door, a few tears had been shed and they embraced.

Fractured friendships had been repaired, and it was long over due.

Kevin whistled, "Hey! Everyone, can I get a minute of your time?"

The crowd quieted, the only sounds were that of Avery as she happily babbled away in her daddy's arms.

"Sure, what's up?" Kim asked as she slipped her arm around Adam's waist.

"Actually, its Kiana who'd like a minute of your time. You see my princess has been busting her ass and well, she's ready to show you all what she has done."

Kim felt her eyes water, "No way!!"

"Yes!" Kara laughed, "My baby..."

"Walk...walking!" Kiana finished, she took a slow step with minimal support from Kevin, she continued on for about five or six steps before her legs began to wobble and Kevin supported her, "I can..w..walk." She was out of breath, but she had walked.

Adam pulled Kim closer against his chest and dropped a kiss on top of her head, he knew she was overcome with emotion, "KiKi, that's wonderful!"

Kara looked at Kevin through her tears, "That's not all, Kiana sweetheart, tell everyone our news"

"Baby. Mommy has baby" she grinned.

Erin asked the driver to wait for her, she took a deep breath before exiting the safety of the uber. She wasn't sure she'd be welcomed at their home but she had to try.

"Oh my god!! How awesome, when? How far along are you?" Kim grabbed Kara's arm and was having a hard time standing still. Her baby making days were over so it was great knowing their best friends would adding to their family and she'd soon have a baby to love on.

"I'm twenty weeks along. We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit, we wanted to allow Kiana time to process it and understand it all before we let the rest of the world in on it. I hope you're not upset, we debated telling you and Adam both..but I don't know..I guess we kind of liked it being just between us."

"Girl, I get it. I'm not upset at all. I just can't wait for it to arrive." Kim hugged her once more, "this is so great, isn't it Adam?"

Adam hugged Kara, "It is."

Kim hugged Kevin, "I'm so excited for you guys. Do you know what you're having?"

Kevin grinned, "We do. Babe, can I tell them?" She nodded her head, "What do you think of the name Kevin Lucas?"

"A boy!" Kim clapped her hands excitedly as Adam and Kevin hugged.

Kara grabbed Kim's hand, "We went back and forth on the name for a good bit, we picked Lucas..well.." she paused to catch her breath a bit, her emotions getting the best of her, "well..we wanted to pay tribute to Lucy. We picked Lucas to honor Lucy's memory. I hope that's okay."

Kim felt her lip quiver, "Thank you so much. It's beautiful. I love it, and I love you both."

"I will get it. You guys relax" Kim headed for the door.

The kids were engrossed in a board game and the adults were celebrating the good news, it had been an amazing day.

Erin rocked on her heels as she waited for the door to open, and she felt the oxygen race from her lungs when it finally opened, "Kim..."

To say she was shocked was an understatement of epic proportions, "What're you doing here?" She folded her arms in front of her.

Erin could see the agitation in Kim's eyes and her stance, "I needed to see you..to thank you.."

"No. Don't thank me." Kim stepped outside and pulled the door closed, "I see you received the letter." She had written it just before she had gone to the prison, she didn't even tell Adam about it until months later. She and Adam had a bit of a dust up over it but he soon understood why she had written it.

"I got it a few days ago, I've read it a thousand times since they gave it to me. I can't tell you how happy it made me..I'm so..."

"Don't. Don't say it." Kim cut her off, "I don't want your apology nor do I need it. I wrote that for me. I needed to release myself of the immense hatred I felt for you. It was eating me alive from the inside out. All I could think of was how much I hated you. I hated what you stole from my little girl, what you stole from Kevin and Kara's little girl. You robbed them of their innocence. I needed to let it all go for my own sanity. I didn't want you to have that power over me, and you don't."

"I don't..."

"Shut up. Just shut up. I thought I made it clear in the letter that I wanted nothing to do with you. I wanted you to get help, and to get your life together but that's where it ends. You are nothing to me. I don't hate you any more, but I never want to see you again." She was surprised at how calm she was, "I'm really not all that surprised that you showed up here. It seems one thing hasn't changed, you only care about yourself. You needed to feel better so you ignored my wishes and you showed up here."

"I shouldn't have come..."

"No. You shouldn't have."

Erin had to know, "Emme and Kiana..are they alright?"

"That's none of your business. Please leave my family alone. I wish you no ill will, in fact I hope you get your life back on track and that you find happiness. I really do. I will have nothing to do with you from this point on, as far as I'm concerned Erin Lindsay that I knew and loved died in that accident."

Erin shuddered at the sound of the door slamming.

Adam found Kim in the foyer, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah" Kim replied looping her arms around his neck, "Just some kid selling cookies..I sent her away. Let's go back to our friends."

"Let me get a kiss first" He smirked.

Erin climbed back in the car and directed him to take her to home. She had hope to bridge the gap between her and Kim just a tiny bit but she now knew that would never happen.

She had no one to blame but herself, and as devastated as she was it only strengthened her resolve to remain sober.

Perhaps one day in the future things would change but for now she had to take solace in the fact that Kim had given her another chance at happiness.

That even in the midst of her anger, Kim had given her a second chance at life.

She wasn't going to blow it.

"It wasn't a kid" Kim spoke softly.

"What?" Adam asked, his hand running up and down Kim's bare back.

"At the door earlier. It was Erin" she kissed his chest, "She read the letter. She tried to apologize."

"You should've told me darlin', I would've dealt with it." Adam moved out from beneath her and sat up, he flipped the light on, "Are you okay? Did she upset you?"

"Lay back down." she waited as he did so and returned her head to his chest, "I handled it. I didn't want her to ruin our day, I told her to leave us alone. I told her I no longer hated her. That she was dead to me."

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't be. I'm okay. I'm better than okay." Kim smiled, "I don't want to waste another thought on her. It's time to put it in the past and leave it there."

"Done."

"Now kiss me again Adam"

"I can do more than that, babe." Adam mumbled as he kissed his way across her neck.

That's a wrap.

I know this wasn't a story that many Linstead fans enjoyed, and I get why they didn't. Yes, I've written Erin a bit OOC and it was something I was leery of doing but anyone who has dealt with an addict knows they do things they'd never do sober. I feel like the show seriously dropped the ball when it came to Erin and her issues with substance abuse. They hinted at it after Nadia's death and they touched on it a bit only to drop it completely and have her downing shots at Mollys.

I struggled with the ending a bit, but I tried to redeem Erin a bit but wanted long lasting ramifications.

Thanks for reading and leaving reviews, I enjoy hearing what you all had to say.