CHAPTER FOURTEEN-Because Of You
I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I wake up with this tightening in my chest and the guilt feels like it's going to crush my heart as I slowly get up from the bed, I almost trip over myself as I grab my bra and panties off the floor...questions swirling through my head as I slip my clothes back on and stand by the edge of the bed, watching him for a brief moment.
He's got his left arm hanging off the edge and the other is under his head. Stefan looks peaceful and content as I watch him. I slowly walk around the room, afraid that I'll wake him if I make any noise. Grabbing my purse and the flower that had fallen out of my hair, I'm half way to the door when I hear him stir and just as I turn around he clears his throat.
"Your leaving?" He says with a frown on his face and exhaustion in his forest green eyes.
"Stefan...I..." I try to say, but to be honest, looking at him with the white sheets that we had made love on wrapped around half of his lower body, I lose my train of thought.
"I know that we were both really drunk last night and what happened between us probably never would have happened if it had been under different circumstances. But, Elena I meant what I said last night. I want to be in your life and in Lillian's, at this point I don't care what the DNA test says. All I care about right now is getting the chance to spend as much of my time with you and with my own daughter." He says with a sleepy smile on his face as he runs his fingers through his hair in a nervous manner.
"What about Reb-" I begin to say as he lets out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief at me even asking the same question I had started asking last night.
"I told you, she cheated on me. We got into a fight and I called it off with her...She's not a problem anymore, plus after she tried to deny the fact that she was sleeping around with the other bartender at the bar. I got really pissed. So, let's just say that when I get back home, Rebekeh should be half way to Arizona or something by now." He tells me as he sits up, leaning over to grab his boxers and pants. I blush slightly as he lifts himself up off the bed and begins to get dress. He smiles at me and lets out a laugh as I pull up a chair and plop into it, turning my head away from him.
"What, It's not like you've never seen any of that before." He says jokingly as I feel my checks get even more red.
"You can look at me now..hah." He says as he slides into his button up t-shirt.
"So, I was thinking..Instead of you doing your disappearing act and we still basically have this room and it's services for about the next hour. Why don't we spend half the day enjoying room service and going out to their patio outside, you know the one that you almost wanted to jump off of the other night?" He says with a smile as he looks over at me.
I smile at him, trying to think about what the hell I was even thinking, bailing out on such a genuinely nice guy. Stefan's got his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels as he grins at me with a tilt of his head. "What do you say? We could eat and chat..I mean, get to know each other over really good hotel food. And, it will kill the awkward moment in the car if I try to kiss you again or something."
My head snaps up from the lock I've got on my painted fingernails and I laugh at him. "The last time you said those words...what do you say...we ended up sleeping together. But, I am hungry and it is going to be a long drive back to Seattle. So, I guess I'll agree to it." I tell him in half of a reluctant tone.
The morning haze of the foggy Portland morning is nearly burnt off when Stefan and I take our seats at a table that's near the view of the city. It's beautiful and I'm memorized by the rushing river and the soothing sounds it is all making as Stefan smiles at me and says "So, did you and Katherine come down here a lot as kids?"
"Yeah, we actually loved coming to Portland with my parents, it was like our little get away. Katherine and I would usually just go to all the smaller food karts that were around downtown and always get chocolate at this little shop that's closed down now. Ha, God back then are lives were so much simpler. What about you? Did you grow up in Washington or someplace else?" I ask him as I watch the water glass that's filled with ice rattle when the waiter serves us.
"No, I'm from the east coast. We moved around a lot as kids and Damon and I hated it. So, when we were olders, we decided that when we went off to college, we'd go together. We moved out here and started college together. That's where he met Lexi and I met Katherine, at the University of Washington." He explains as he stares down at the menu in front of him and then back up at me.
We had decided to go down to the small restaurant that's inside of the Hilton, so that we could sit down and talk with it not being awkward and now that I'm sitting down and looking at him, Stefan almost seems nervous when I ask him about his past, so I quickly nod my head and say " Lexi and Katherine were Huskies. Ha, figures!" I say with a laugh as I shake my head at the thought of them painting their faces purple and white during all the football games. Now, it explains the pictures that I had found in her living room with all of her photo albums.
"So, what were you, Elena? Why didn't you go to the same college as them?" He asks me suddenly as I take a gulp of water and then try not to choke on the ice. Do, I really need to explain to him that I had tried to apply right alongside my over achiever sister and got denied or do I tell him that I went to Washington State University instead, a cougar football team and a school that everyone on the west coast knew was one of the top party schools at the time.
"I...I had some troubles getting in. So, I went to WSU." I tell him in a nervous tone as he looks at me with a straight face and I can tell that's trying hard not to laugh.
"What?" I ask with a surprised expression.
"Katherine told me about you once. She had called me crying and she had said that no one had heard from her little sister the whole day. She actually wanted to go up to WSU and search for you. I mean, it took her hours to calm down because she was freaking out about the fact that no one heard from you." Stefan explained with a grin on his face as I watch him take a sip of water and place it down on the table.
"That was her that called the cops! Oh God, I had thought it was my parents! I was drunk off my ass and when they knocked on my door and asked if Elena Gilbert was home, I laughed and shook my head, yes. My hair was flying every which way and I was still in the same clothes that I had been in from the night before. Oh and they got a kick out of the fact that I opened the door with my purse still strapped to my shoulder. I had spent the whole night partying with Caroline and Bonnie. Let's just say I was really hung over when I opened the door." I tell him, muffling my laugh with my hand as he smiles wide at me.
"Yeah, your sister was a bit over protective of you. She worried about you a lot, you know?" Stefan tells me with a smile as I nod at him. Katherine had been the only one looking out for me, more than our own parents. And part of me will always regret the day that my sister and I had gotten into a huge fight when she had told me that she was pregnant.
I had screamed at her when she had came to my dorm room, completely out of the blue and scared to death of what to do. She had told me that she had slept with two different guys and didn't want to tell her current boyfriend about it. She had promised me that I would tell no one and I was so frustrated with her that she would play with someone's life like that and so I turned my back on her, told her that she was irresponsible and it wasn't fair.
But, after days of feeling guilty and hearing things about how my parents had kicked Katherine out of the house and wanted nothing to do with her. I came back home and apologized for everything I had said. I made a promise to her that we would stick together and I would help her with anything that she needed. I had been there every step of the way with her after that and during her pregnancy with Lillian it had brought the two of closer than ever before. And yet the day of accident and waking up in the hospital, realizing that she had put me as the guardian down for her daughter was a total shock. Our parents had warned the both of us that if they ever saw Katherine or the baby in their house, they would kick them both out, all over again. So, maybe that's why I had tried so hard to make up for it all with Lillian, trying my hardest to clean up my act and pull myself together into being a responsible adult.
"You know that my sister was my best friend. We had actually gotten closer with each other when she was pregnant. Stefan, I really am sorry that she never told you. I'm not making excuses for her. But, when Katherine had showed up at my dorm room and told me that she was pregnant, I got into a fight with her and told her how irresponsible she was. I didn't see it then, but I honestly I realize it now. She didn't want to raise the baby alone and it scared her, so she came to me for help. I guess, that's why I'm reluctant to co-parent Lillian with anyone." I tell him as we both watch the waiter walk over with our plates of hot waffles and two cups of coffee.
"Elena, I don't want to ruin your life. I just want to get the chance of knowing her. Please?" He asks me with saddened eyes as I locked my eyes with him. He's pleading with me to just have this one chance of entering her life in a time where she won't know the difference, I can see it. He truly does mean it when he clears his throat and says once more. "Let me help you. I know that you have your friends. But, Lillian needs a father. I'm not doubting your ability to parent her alone. But, I just feel like you need the help." He tells me with a smile as he picks up his fork and begins to dig into the hot food in front of him.
"Your right. I do need the help and I would love it if you were in Lillian's life. But, Stefan I don't want you to feel obligated to help us. We're doing fine at the moment." I try to explain as he shakes his head and swallows the food in his mouth before he speaks.
"Do you have a college fund set up for her?" He asks me suddenly as I laugh.
"Stefan! She's a seven month old baby, she doesn't need a college fund yet." I try to argue as his mouth creases into a straight line and he narrows his eyes at me.
"I disagree! It's better to start early. I'll start up a college fund for her." He says in a serious tone as he picks up his glass of water and takes a sip.
"Are you hoping that she becomes a Husky or a Cougar?" I say with a small smile in a joking manner.
"Whatever she decides. Look, Elena. Last night, I meant it. So, here I am offering a chance to make things easier for the both of you. Damon and I have money saved up and I can just build off of that." He tells me with a grin.
"Your impossible! Thank you. You have no idea how much that will help us." I tell him as he smiles wider at me.
"Besides, Co-parenting means that even if you and I aren't officially together..I can still pitch in." Stefan informs me with a smile.
"Oh, I know it means. Okay, fine. I'll let you pitch in until we figure out where we stand with each other." I tell him.
Stefan laughs and then leans forward, grabbing my cool hand into his as he says "That sounds perfect to me. Besides, if we get more dates like this...we'll get to know each other better in no time."
The drive back home is filled with laughter and music blasting from the speakers of the mustang and it's nearly 6pm when I walk through the door to my apartment after saying goodbye to Stefan. I smile with a wide grin and I lock the door behind me and I can't stop smiling when I turn around and see Caroline and Lillian on the couch fast asleep.
Caroline has a pillow under head and her arms are gently wrapped around a sleeping Lillian whose laying against Caroline's stomach. They're both snoring lightly and I laugh a bit at the sounds that are coming from them. I slowly tip toe to my room with my bags. But, just as I step inside of my room and place my bags onto the bed I get a buzzing in my pocket.
My finger slides across the screen of my cell phone as I read the words out loud. "I'm taking the DNA test in the morning. Just know, that whatever the outcome is. It doesn't change a thing. Thank Elena for such a wonderful time." I smile wider as I read it and exhale deeply, as I sit on my bed and think about the words that he had spoken to me the night before.
A/N: Hey Guys! So that was Chapter 14! I hope you liked it! :)
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Thanks for reading & Until Next Time!