"Enjoy you lunch Oliv-". Hermione looked up hearing her best friends voice and gave her a small smile. One Ginny saw through immediately. "He didn't..." She watched Hermione's face fall as she looked back down at her desk and started shifting stacks of parchment to the side. "No..."
"It's fine," Hermione tried ushering her to sit while conjuring a bassinet for James.
"It is not! Did he say why?"
"That it crosses too many lines," she shrugged, "He's not wrong."
"That is utter barmy and we both know it! You two compliment one another so well. Not to mention how adoringly you both look at one another when you think no one is watching."
"Can we please talk about something else," Hermione sighed, "I really don't want to think about Sirius right now.."
"On one condition." When Hermione said nothing she continued, "Did you fight for him?"
She winced, "He's not mine to fight for Gin. Not if he doesn't think whatever we had, brief as it was, was worth having." Ginny opened her mouth to retort but closed her mouth with a look from Hermione. Instead Hermione cut her off asking about if she had any plans for Harry's party yet.
The two weeks leading to Harry's birthday passed quickly after that. Each morning she got up, had her tea before going to work, on her lunch break she usually met with Ginny to make continue preparations for Harry's party and each night she made dinner for herself and Sirius before retiring for the evening. Ginny didn't bring up Sirius again if she could help it. Hermione went back to using silencing charms at night and anytime she woke up she had to fight every instinct within her to go into Sirius's room and seek comfort in his arms because that's what she wanted desperately to do. Even their regular banter had come to a stop and she missed it. If she was honest with herself she felt incredibly lonely, more so then ever before. But if he wanted to avoid putting them in that position the best way to do so would be for her to distance herself from him.
On Harry's birthday Hermione left work early and flooed to the Potter house to pick up James. Harry was under the impression that Ginny was taking him to a small dinner and she would be watching James for the evening while they were out. Following their voices she met them in the kitchen, Harry was fidgeting with a tie as Ginny tried to convince him them going out was a necessity.
"We are going to dinner. Hermione and Sirius will have everything under control for a few hours. They're his godparents after all," Ginny scoffed as she reached to retie his tie.
"It not that Gin, I just don't know how I feel about leaving him so soon. He's only 3 weeks old!"
Leaning in the doorway Hermione grinned at their bickering. "Hello."
"Hermione!"
"Happy Birthday Harry."
"Thank you. Are you sure about this Mione? We don't have to go out."
Hermione laughed at Ginny's hushed "Merlin" and smiled at Harry, "Please don't worry, he'll be safe with Sirius and I. Try to enjoy your dinner. We're only a quick floo away if you get worried."
"Are you sure Mione? It's a lot to remember because he gets his bottle every two hours still, we've got his diaper bag stocked with nappes and wipes. There's cream and powder in there too if needed. Don't forget to heat his bottles but only enough to be room temp-"
"Harry, quit it, she remembers. You're turning into mum," Ginny whined.
Walking up to her best friend she pulled him into a hug, "He'll be alright Harry, he will have both his godparents with him. We will send you a patronus if anything goes wrong. Its only a few hours."
"I know, I know. Okay here we go," lifting his son, he cooed to him, "you're gonna go with your Aunt Mini and mummy and daddy will come get you in a little bit okay little man?"
Chuckling Hermione grabbed the diaper bag, checking for all the necessities before taking her godson into her arms, "Hello little love, are you ready to go see Uncle Siri?" Giving Gin a wink she made it back into the floo before Harry could change his mind and gracefully stepped into the sitting room at Grimmuald.
"I've never seen you make it through the floo without stumbling before." Her heart dropped hearing Sirius's voice. Turning she saw him standing before her with a grin on his face.
"Yes well precious cargo and all." Walking over, she offered James too him and headed into the kitchen to put down his diaper bag and finish getting stuff ready for the party to which people should be arriving in the next 30 minutes with Ginny bringing Harry over about 10 minutes after.
Sirius followed her into the kitchen, cradling a sleeping James to his chest and watched her start pulling things out, casting a few charms sending decorations through the house. She looked tired, he knew she couldn't be sleeping because she the bags under her eyes were almost permanent. On the weekends she would come into the kitchen without remembering her usual glamour charms and the guilt would instantly settle into his chest. She had stopped coming to him each night after he told her he was trying to keep from being in that position with her again and that they were just wrong for one another. Kissing her that morning, threading his fingers into her hair, having her trace circles on his chest, feeling her legs wrap around his waist pulling him closer. It had been the best morning he had had since before the first war. In that moment he wanted nothing more then to take her and make her his own.
But seeing her with James near 10 hours later, he felt like he couldn't give her what she wanted. He desperately wanted to be what she deserved but he thought that wasn't him and he wanted to save her from himself. He'd told her he didn't regret kissing her and that was true. He could see the fight in her when he said it but knew when he broke her moments later saying it would cross to many lines. At this point though, he only truly regretted how he'd started acting after the hospital. He found himself staying up each night waiting for her to knock on his door and climb into his bed so he could fall asleep to the scent of her raspberry and vanilla shampoo as her hair sprawled across his pillows. When she wouldn't show up he found himself outside her door braced to knock but he couldn't bring himself to do it despite how he missed the smiles she gave him where the light touched her eyes. He'd messed up. He'd been foolish and he knew it.
"Kitten."
"Yes Sirius?"
"I miss you."
She froze. Did he just say that? "What?"
"I miss you."
She continued her work on Harry's cake, "I'm right here Sirius. I haven't gone anywhere."
"You know what I mean," conjuring a bassinet Sirius tucked James into the blankets and walked over to her. She stood completely still, back facing him, Harry's cake before her. Putting his hands on either side of her he caged her between him and the counter. "Kitten," he murmured into her hair.
"Sirius..."
He scooped her hair to the side, exposing the side of her neck. Leaning down he placed a light kiss below her ear earning him a soft moan. She turned to face him.
"What's changed?"
"Nothing." Hurt flashed behind her eyes and she ducked under his arm making her way to James's bassinet but Sirius caught her arm. "No kitten listen. Nothing has changed for me. I thought I couldn't be someone who deserved your affection and I thought if I pushed you away by saying the things I did that maybe I could stop the feelings that were blossoming, maybe I could save you from me. But nothing has changed for me because I'm already too far gone. I miss hearing you laugh and having you in my bed each night. I miss talking to you and making you smile." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, his grip on her arm loosening, "I pushed you away and it was a mistake. Now I am asking that you forgive me." Throughout his speech he had stepped closer to her, until he was now right in front of her. "Please Hermione."
"What made you think you didn't deserve to be with me?" she whispered.
"I spent 12 years in Azkaban, 6 years in the veil. Seeing you with James I thought of all I missed with Harry and I don't want to do that to you. I don't want to fail you like I did James, Lily and even Harry. But I've realized I'm a better version of myself when I'm with you."
"What about all the lines it would cross?"
"It was all I could think of in the moment."
"So you don't care about our age difference or what Harry will think?"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how Harry would react. After everything you've been through you are his sister. Not to mention I am old enough to be both of your fathers. But no, I don't care enough about either of those factors for them to actually influence how I feel about you. Selfish as it may be."
Hesitantly lifting her hand to his cheek she felt his scruff, with a small smile playing at her lips when he leaned into it, she looked him in the eye, "I won't do this again, Sirius. I don't think I could."
"You won't have to," he said without hesitation, "I'm not going to fight what I'm feeling for you anymore."
Looking unsure, she reached up onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips softly to his. Sirius wasted no time slipping his arms around her waist, pulling her body into his and kissing her back harder. He put all he felt for her into it, hoping that she would understand even if he wasn't ready to say it out loud. Snaking her arms around his neck she ran her tongue along his bottom lip and gently bit it when he opened his mouth allowing her access. Reaching down he grabbed her beautiful arse and squeezed lightly before lifting her up and putting her on the counter, earning him a moan from his witch. Untucking his shirt she ran her hands up his abdomen to his chest, tracing delicate patterns on his skin making him shiver. Pulling her hair slightly he got better access to her mouth as he claimed her. Gently he cupped her breast over her dress and moved to pull it free from her cup.
"Aunt Mini?"
Snapping apart Hermione jumped off the counter and Sirius gently pushed her behind him so she could right herself.
"Sorry for interrupting, we heard there was a party here tonight," Tonks laughed as Remus smirked covering his sons eyes.
"Dora, Moony, we would appreciate your ..."
"discretion," Hermione supplied when Sirius seemed to be at a lose for the right word.
"Yes, discretion."
"Oh you have it dear cousin but don't think you will get away with not explaining this once you have it all worked out."
Hermione chuckled, putting a hand on his forearm to silence his retort, "You should tuck your shirt back in," she whispered with a wink and moved to greet Tonks with a quick hug, blushing at the smirk Remus sent to her. "When we figure this out you will be the first to know, Tonks."
"You should count your lucky stars it was us who walked in and not Molly!" Remus burst out laughing at his wife's remark.
Shaking her head with a smirk, Hermione grabbed Teddy from Remus, "Do you want to help decorate Uncle Harry's cake little love?"