Chapter 13
Skypaw breathed in all the familiar scents of the herbs of the medicine den. She could still hear the voices of the clan yelling Dawnflower and Redfur's names outside in the clearing. They all sounded very happy about it. She was happy for sister more than anything in the whole world, but she couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealously. It wasn't fair that she wasn't standing up there with them. Skypaw closed her eyes and imagined she was standing on Highledge with the clan calling her warrior name. With Firestar purring at her, with Duskpelt and Stonefoot staring proudly up at her, everything would be just perfect…
"Hey, wake up!"
Jayfeather's angry meow sliced through her dream like claws ripping flesh.
Skypaw blinked open her eyes, returning to a world of complete darkness.
"Stop standing there like a dumb rabbit and collect some catmint before another cat comes down with green-cough!" Jayfeather growled while sorting a pile of herbs. Skypaw sniffed and got the sweet scent of lavender. Good for fever, Skypaw remembered.
"But I already got some only recently, before the battle with WindClan!" She protested.
Skypaw felt Jayfeather's eyes, blue and sightless like her own, scorch her fur, like a fire burning a leaf; crumbling until it burst into ashes and was nothing more than an a single ash lying lonely and forgotten on the forest floor.
"What kind of a medicine cat are you if you argue with your mentor like that! Go and collect Catmint now!" Jayfeather snarled. "And go collect something that cures bellyache! Purdy wouldn't stop moaning yesterday."
Skypaw felt Jayfeather's gaze still burn her pelt. She sensed her mentor's anger and great annoyance. He had no right to annoyed with her! Nor had he any right at to feel angry with her! Skypaw struggled to keep her rage inside her.
"And don't take too long because we're meeting the other medicine cats at the Moonpool. Come back any later than I would like, and I'll claw your ears off! ThunderClan can't have a medicine that slacks off, can they?" Skypaw guessed Jayfeather's lips were drawn back in a snarl. She was shaking with complete rage. Her pelt bristled with fury as she spat, "Fine, I'll get your stupid herbs, but I'll take as long as I like, so there!"
Skypaw turned tail and stalked out through the lichen.
Angry mouse brain, she thought bitterly.
Redfur looked proudly around the clearing at all the cats departing back to their dens from the medicine den. He could still here the sound of his clanmates cheers ringing in his ears. But with it came the empty sound of Brokentail's growl, egging him on, torturing him.
"Remember, I am watching you, young warrior. I have power over you, and I will kill you if you ever tell anyone anything about me, or if you ever do anything to delay becoming Clan Leader. Remember this as you keep you vigil. Remember this always." His voice faded into the background, and Redfur shivered despite the warmth of the sinking sun on his back. "Are you alright? Is anything bothering you?" Dawnflower asked gently, blinking at him sympathetically.
"No, I'm fine." Redfur promised guiltily. He hated lying to her. It didn't seem right somehow. Redfur jumped as Dawnflower pressed her muzzle against his pelt. Redfur buried his head in her soft silky shoulder.
"I love you," He murmured, not loud enough for her to hear. "No matter how much I try not to." They separated reluctantly and regarded one another for a moment. "We should be being-" Redfur started, breaking the silence.
"Now, you two," Firestar meowed. Redfur saw Dawnflower jump, and he pressed against her warm fur, but she pulled away. I want to be allowed
to love you, Redfur thought regretfully. But I'm not.
"Now, you two," Dawnflower jumped; she hadn't heard Firestar approach. She sat back as Redfur pressed against her; she didn't want Firestar to think they were getting all soppy about each other. "You do know you're not allowed to talk? You have to sit vigil here in silence until dawn, when either I or one of the senior warriors will come and tell you to go and rest." Dawnflower and Redfur nodded solemnly.
"Firestar, come here!" Jayfeather's hard meow sounded roughly from inside the medicine den. As Firestar retreated to the medicine den, muttering about how bossy Jayfeather could be, Dawnflower saw Skypaw walk past, her head down, tail drooping. Another argument with her mentor, She guessed. Dawnflower briefly pressed her muzzle against Skypaw's flank, but said nothing as she was not allowed to speak. Skypaw kept going without a word, not even acknowledging her sister was there. Dawnflower felt a pang of disappointment. Wasn't Skypaw even glad that her sister was a warrior? Oh, Skypaw… She thought, not for the first time. How could they do this to you?
Very easily. A voice answered in the back of her mind. Very easily indeed.
No. Dawnflower shook her head, trying to scatter all her dark thoughts. No cat should have the power to make a cat do something they don't want to do, not even StarClan. Redfur nudged her, and flicked his ears towards the warriors den. Dawnflower tipped her head to one side. What? She mouthed.
That's where we'll be sleeping. He seemed to be saying.
When?
Soon. He promised.
Dawnflower looked up abruptly as a cat brushed through the fern tunnel; only to relax again as Skypaw emerged. The moon was just above the horizon. Her sister headed straight to the medicine den, and as she entered Dawnflower heard Jayfeather meow, "Finally. It took you long enough." Dawnflower flinched at his harsh tone; he was as prickly as ever. She strained her ears to make out what her sister said back, but couldn't; Skypaw's voice was muffled by the herbs she carried.
"Now come on. We're already late. The other's will be wondering where we are." What others? Dawnflower wondered, thoroughly confused. Surely the medicine cats don't sneak away every night to go and see someone. As Skypaw brushed past her, Dawnflower touched the tip of her tail to her sister's shoulder. Be safe. She thought. Skypaw looked happier than she had in days.
"I'm going to the Moonpool to share tongues with StarClan," Her sister explained softly. Dawnflower nodded, but then remembered her sister couldn't see her.
"I'm not as blind as some first think!" Skypaw's meow startled her out of her thoughts. Dawnflower felt a pang of dismay run through her. Don't do that! She protested silently. Don't read my mind!
"I didn't mean to." Skypaw said.
You did it again!
"Skypaw!" Jayfeather yowled before her sister could say anything else.
"Coming!" Skypaw howled back as she briskly dipped her head to the two warriors and then raced away.
Dawnflower rested her head on her paws, whiskers twitching with anticipation.
Tomorrow she would be a warrior.
Skypaw followed her mentor enthusiastically into the forest.
"Where are we going?" She piped up, trying to make conversation. "Do you know the way?"
"Yes," Jayfeather growled as he shouldered past her. "Are we nearly there?"
"No," Jayfeather hissed through clenched teeth.
Skypaw felt crestfallen. No matter what she said or did, it seemed like an impossible task to please Jayfeather. Skypaw thought for a moment, wondering what to say that would force him to say something other than yes or no.
"Which other medicine cats will we be meeting up with?" She asked, hoping that she would meet Kestrelflight on the way.
"In love with Kestrelflight, are you?" Jayfeather teased, the hardness that normally edged his mew gone. Normally Skypaw would have growled at him for reading her mind, but now she was too relieved that he was being nice to her to say anything.
"No," She retorted coolly. "But I am looking forward to seeing him. Bedsides, you're always saying that the other medicine cats are our friends. There was a rumor about you and Willowshine being best friends!" Jayfeather made a soft growling noise deep in his throat, and Skypaw tensed, afraid she had gone too far. Then she realised with a pang of indignation that he was laughing at her.
"Oh, come on, Skypaw, me and Willowshine?" He purred. "Forget it!" His voice returned to a growl and he whisked past her. How can his moods change so suddenly? Skypaw wondered. How can he be friendly with me one second, purring and joking and laughing, but the next he's so angry that he growls and leaves me behind!
Skypaw raced to catch up with him.
"Sorry," She puffed. "I was only joking! Every cat in around the lake knows that you and Willowshine are the farthest thing away from friends, like a fox and a hedgehog." You're just as prickly, Skypaw thought privately, keeping the words to herself.
"Jayfeather!" A new voice startled her. Skypaw tasted the air. The voice belonged to a ShadowClan cat. "Jayfeather! Who's this?"
"Hello, Littlecloud, Flametail! This is Skypaw, my new apprentice." Skypaw tensed as the two other medicine cats came and sniffed her.
"Nice one you've got there." Littlecloud commented. "Is she easy to train?" Flametail piped up.
"Well…" Jayfeather hesitated. "Easy enough. Got a bit of an attitude, though." Skypaw bristled, but relaxed again when Littlecloud let out a purr of amusement.
"Hmm, I wonder where she gets it from?" He meowed with mock sarcasm. "I don't suppose her mentor was, or still is, a bit like that?"
"I believe so!" Skypaw purred, answering for him. Jayfeather snorted but said nothing as the medicine cats continued their journey. Half way there they met up with Willowshine.
"Where's Mothwing?" She mewed to Jayfeather. Her mentor let out a growl.
"Why doesn't a cat who has no belief in StarClan just let her apprentice come instead?" Skypaw gasped.
"Mothwing doesn't believe in StarClan?"
"Yes, just keep it to yourself, alright? Don't you dare go saying anything to anycat about what I just told you, or I'll have your pelt for my bedding!" Skypaw felt stung but at the same time she couldn't hold in an amused purr at his tone.
"There's Barkface and Kestrelflight." Jayfeather hissed in her ear. Coming up behind them, Littlecloud mewed,
"A blind cat scenting them before us, what next?" Skypaw flinched but was relieved to hear good humour in his tone as well as well as scorn. Suddenly she felt a tail brushing her flank, and she scented the air. The scent was unfamiliar, with two others close by, so she mewed,
"Yes?"
"I'm Flametail. I believe you know Kestrelflight already?" When Skypaw nodded, he continued, "And this is Willowshine." The she-cat came up and sniffed her over.
"Hi," She mewed. Skypaw could tell she was forcing her friendly tone. "Jayfeather's apprentice, ehh? Not as grumpy, I hope."
"No," Skypaw purred, guiltily relieved that she wasn't the only cat who saw the grumpy side of Jayfeather. Suddenly Willowshine stiffened.
"Are you blind too?" Skypaw scuffled her paws uneasily on the ground and could not bring herself to reply. Willowshine, noting her reaction, sneered,
"I thought so. Does ThunderClan only ever have blind medicine cats? Next thing we know, ThunderClan will be claiming they saw a blue squirrel!" With that, she whipped around and stalked off towards the older medicine cats.
"Don't mind her," Flametail murmured sympathetically into her ear. "Once you get to know her she not all that bad. She just has a sharp tongue, that's all."
"Like Jayfeather," Skypaw couldn't resist adding. To her surprise, waves of uneasiness started coming off Flametail, and he replied,
"Jayfeather's not so bad either. He saved me from drowning, once. He's actually quite a good friend." Skypaw was surprised by the closeness that was clearly shown between the two cats. She had thought Jayfeather was nice to only his littermate,
Lionblaze. Hearing another cat leap to Jayfeather's defence like that is unheard of! A cat from a different Clan, at that! Skypaw thought, her whiskers twitching.
"Hey, Flametail, want to walk with me?" Jayfeather called back, no hostility in his voice at all.
"Sure!" Skypaw heard him bound away to Jayfeather's side, and they started talking together in hushed voices. Now Skypaw was left at the back of the group, alone with Kestrelflight.
"Um… Hi," She mewed after a moment's hesitation.
"Hello." Kestrelflight sounded equally embarrassed. "How's the prey running?"
"Good, thanks. Yours?" Skypaw replied, hoping no cat was watching their forced exchange.
"Good. Skypaw…" His voice trailed off. "Skypaw… You-you don't have to treat me like this. You're allowed to show your true feelings for me… And… And we have to talk. It's important." I love you, no matter how much I try not to, I just can't help myself. I feel sympathy towards you that I can't ignore. Skypaw could hear Kestrelflight's thoughts as clearly as if he had spoken them out loud. Skypaw felt cold understanding settle in her belly.
"Why do you want to talk to me, the blind apprentice?" She snapped. "It won't work. We're medicine cats!"
"Skypaw, wait-" But Skypaw ignored him. She bounced on ahead to her mentor, and as she came, Willowshine gave a snort and dropped back to walk with Kestrelflight and Jayfeather meowed,
"Go on, Flametail. Why don't you talk to the other apprentices? I need to speak with Skypaw."
"Bye." Flametail meowed, his voice full of sympathy and understanding directed at Skypaw as he slowed his pace and the other apprentices caught up.
"What's up?" Jayfeather hissed. "Why are you so unhappy?" Skypaw shook her head to scatter all her unpleasant thoughts so that her mentor could not get a hold of them.
"It's Kestrelflight. I know that I shouldn't read minds but…"
"But?" Jayfeather prompted gently.
"B-but I couldn't help it. All of a sudden his thoughts just flowed into mine and now I can't stop thinking about it."
"What was he thinking?" Her mentor sounded sympathetic; yet Skypaw wasn't fooled. She knew that he could turn on her any minute he liked- he just wanted to know Kestrelflight's thoughts, because he couldn't access them.
"Nothing," She meowed. Or at least nothing you need to know about.
Dawnflower felt chilled to the bone. Why did she feel so unhappy? It was the night of her warrior ceremony- surely she should feel cheered and excited? But instead she felt the complete opposite of that- and she was sure that somehow her feelings were connected to Skypaw. But surely even Skypaw was happy about going to the Moonpool? Dawnflower sat up as a twig snapped just outside the entrance. There was no-one on guard; it was the time when the guard went to wake someone else up to take their place. Obviously whoever it was wanted to arrive unannounced, because they had certainly come at a convenient time. She nudged Redfur, and when she gazed into his deep blue eyes she saw her own worried expression reflected there. He tipped his head to one side. What should we do? He seemed to say. Should we alert the Clan?
No. Dawnflower shook her head, beckoning with her tail for him to follow her. As she poked her head outside, she saw it was only a mouse scuffling around. But as she turned around to go back in something heavy launched itself and landed squarely on her shoulders, and she let out a squeak of surprise.
"Oof!" She meowed as something else landed on top of them, making the weight on her shoulders almost unbearable. Finally she collapsed and gazed up to see Redfur pulling the other thing off her. One of Dawnflower's ears was torn; as she wiped the blood out of her eyes and her vision cleared she saw that Redfur was battling her mother.
"Stop!" She cried. "Stop hurting Duskpelt!"
Redfur shot her a confused glance and scrambled off her in an instant.
"Can we speak?" Redfur whispered. "Will StarClan be angry?" Dawnflower shook her head.
"No, I don't think so. We thought someone was intruding the camp." Turning to her mother, she meowed, "Are you hurt? We're sorry for jumping on you. We thought you were someone else."
"I must see Firestar," She said quietly.
"Duskpelt," Dawnflower meowed uneasily. "Why do you sound like that?" Suddenly Duskpelt looked up. Her amber eyes blazed. Amber? I could have sworn Duskpelt's eyes were green.
"I am normal. Take me to Firestar." Her voice was hard and commanding, so Dawnflower nodded to Redfur, and he raced on ahead.
"Where is your friend going?" Duskpelt asked, the strange light in her eyes dying.
"To-to see Firestar," Dawnflower murmured. "Don't worry; everything will be fine. You… You've probably just lost your memory. But don't fret; everything will be fine soon." But Dawnflower knew she was trying to convince herself as much as Duskpelt. She started leading her mother towards the medicine den, but halted as she saw Firestar approach her from his own den.
"Should you not be in the medicine den?" Dawnflower called to him.
"No," He said briskly. "I am Clan leader; I choose where I sleep. Now what's this Redfur tells me about breaking your vigil and Duskpelt wanting to see me?"
"I think she's lost her memory. She can't remem-" Dawnflower broke off when she realized that Firestar wasn't listening to her.
"It can't be!" He meowed, sounding astonished. "Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, come here!" He yowled. Squirrelflight appeared, shaking her head.
"When will you learn not to wake me up?" Her voice trailed off, her eyes a mixture of surprise and joy. "Brambleclaw, Brambleclaw, she's back! Get up, you lazy lump!"
She retreated into the warriors den and then appeared again a minute later with Brambleclaw behind her, both cats as awake as ever.
"Oh, it can't be!" Brambleclaw purred, running up to her. "Oh, how have you been? Good?"
"I'm fine. How are things going here?" As they were speaking, Dawnflower realized that almost every other cat had gathered in the clearing to watch. But most puzzling of all was the fact that they were all greeting Duskpelt like she had been away for seasons.
"How have you been?"
"Did you find warmth and safety?"
"Have you found what you were looking for?"
But then one voice rose above the rest.
"You're here! I can't believe it!" Another cat identical to the one standing before Dawnflower raced towards her.
"Stop!" Dawnflower cried. "What's happening? Which one of you is Duskpelt?" The two dark tabby cats exchanged a glance. Dawnflower wondered what had flashed between the two she-cats.
"We should explain to her." One of them mewed gently to the other. "After all, it happened well before she was born. She is kin." Turning towards Dawnflower, they touched their tail tips to her shoulder. Looking at both of them face-to-face, she realised that one of them had green eyes and the other had amber.
"My name is Stormheart," The amber-eyed tabby began. "Years ago, when I first became a warrior, I left the clan because I couldn't handle clan life any more. It hurt me to leave, but I was also glad, because I didn't have a good life as a warrior. Then I found a barn, full of mice, far away in a place you call 'The Unknown.' But I promised that one day, if I survived, I would return to visit all my friends and family here, in ThunderClan."
"But that still doesn't explain why you both look so alike!" Dawnflower protested.
"We are sisters." Duskpelt spoke this time. "Ask any cat."
Dawnflower stared at the two tabbies, who were looking at her expectantly.
"You're my mother?" Dawnflower struggled to keep her voice steady. "You're my mother, and this other cat, Stormheart, is kin?" Both cats nodded.
"I must tell Skypaw!" She exclaimed, feeling her belly give an unexpected jolt of excitement at the thought of telling her sister about her vigil. "I must tell Skypaw now. Where is she?"
"She's sharing tongues with StarClan, remember?" A cat called.
"Mouse-dung! Now I'll have to wait until tomorrow!" She meowed.
"Look, we need to continue our vigil now, in silence." Redfur meowed over the murmurings of the cat around them.
"True," Firestar nodded. "And all the rest of you can go back to sleep. But I wish to see Graystripe, Sandstorm, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, Duskpelt and Stormheart in my den now." With that, he turned and walked back to his den above the Highledge, only stopping once to see that the cats he had summoned were still following him.