This story contains graphic language, violence, and some adult situations ;)

You have been warned. Enjoy!

Chapter 14:

Speculation & Realization

_Brian's P.O.V_

I couldn't move. My feet wouldn't budge from their place on the floor and my hands were frozen by my side. The only things that I could do in that moment were to blink and breathe, and even those things were difficult. As soon as the newscaster stopped speaking, everything blurred. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as my stomach twisted into a wretched knot. To me, there was no knowledge of just how long I was standing there...facing my bedroom with my stone stiff stance, staring forward. Hell, I couldn't even see what was in front of me...my vision was blurred as well. I was pretty sure that I had tears in my eyes but I didn't want them to fall.

A few more moments went by before I heard the faintest voice from behind. The voice was soothing and soft in the silence of my current state. It was my name that was being called, faintly and yet clearly. The feeling that I was having wasn't entirely clear to me at this point...I don't know if it was rage, sorrow, or some mixture of the two. The seemingly unbreakable trance that I was in was broken when my hands balled into fists and everything came rushing back to me.

"Brian? Are you okay?" Justin's soothing voice flooded my ears. My mind was screaming at me to just revert back to the good old days of shutting everyone down and out, but I knew now that I couldn't do that. I knew that Justin and I had grown too much to shut him down, hell...I couldn't and wouldn't put him through that again. His voice surrounded me once more. "Brian?" I was staring into those ocean blue eyes that pierced my very soul and searched. I searched for everything...myself, him, and the meaning of everything. But no matter how hard I tried to think of anything other than what I had just heard, I couldn't. Everyone knew that Michael could be a total shit...but he didn't deserve to die. And no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, I kept remembering the last thing I had said to him. Telling him that he should just forget I existed and to fuck off, that's what was replaying over and over in my mind. My eyes became blurry again and I knew it was from tears, but I refused to let them fall. I just hoped that Justin wouldn't see them.

_Justin's P.O.V_

I watched the entire thing unfold. From the moment that the woman on the television stopped speaking, Brian's entire body stiffened and it seemed like nothing in the world was there. I called out to him several times in hopes that he would turn around and tell me that he was fine...but nothing happened. Nothing was registering for him other than the thoughts in his mind, that was perfectly clear to me. I called his name but the only reaction that I received was his near silent breathing. I had flipped the television off and the entire loft had gone quiet. The overwhelming thought that he would shut me out enveloped my mind like a hungry parasite. I closed my eyes and called out to him again in hopes that he wouldn't turn to me and say that he was fine.

The loss of a best friend should never result in the answer that you're fine. But in this case, I had the strongest feeling that that was the exact answer that I would get.

"Brian? Are you okay?" I called out to him in a quiet voice, hoping that I wouldn't cause him to snap at me or shut me down. Watching him, standing there facing away from me, his hands balled into fists. I breathed a relieved sigh and took a few steps closer to him. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort him but not being able to see his face...his eyes...I couldn't judge the reaction that he would have to it. So I settled for standing a foot or so behind him and waiting.

My eyes were fixed on the spot just below the point in which his hair stopped on the back of his neck. There was no sign of him turning around at that point and I was nearly ready to give up right now...that's when I saw his body move and begin to turn toward me. My eyes widened a bit as blue met hazel. There, I saw everything. I watched every smothered emotion pass through his tormented mind. Anger, sadness, and...contemplation. My breath caught in my throat when I realized that he was contemplating whether to shut me out again or not. Blue locked with hazel as I mentally pleaded with him. Whatever was to happen, I didn't want him to treat me like he had that night. I didn't want to hate that I love him and I definitely didn't want to go through the hell that I already had. So I pleaded with him as hard as I could while I dove into those beautifully tortured eyes.

"Brian?" I asked softly, nearly inaudible in tone. He stopped. The contemplation was gone as soon as the tears began to form in his eyes. I knew that he wouldn't want me to see them, but I did. In that moment, I couldn't hold back the urge to wrap my arms around him and hold on for dear life.

_Brian's P.O.V_

Justin's arms snaked around my waist tightly as his head came to rest on my chest. As soon as his arms were firmly wrapped around me, my arms found his back and clung there. I felt the sting of the tears in my eyes as they began to fall one by one. I shut my eyes tight and pulled him closer to my body. His hands were almost cool on my heated, freshly showered skin as we just stood there...holding each other. I ran my right hand up his back and found the nape of his neck, my fingers gently trailed through the golden silk there. Justin's fingers lightly massaged the lower parts of my shoulders, each movement making small circles of soothing rhythms. We stayed intertwined for a few moments in the silence of the space. My emotions were beginning to calm as my eyes dried of their salty tears.

"It wasn't your fault." The quiet words broke the silence as Justin spoke, his head still pressed against my chest. Before I could respond to his saying that, my eyes met blue. His beautiful oceans were boring into my hazel depths as I gave him a small knowing smile.

"I know that." Was all that I could muster in the moment. I hoped that Justin knew that any talk of feelings right now would be near impossible for me. One last glance into his understanding eyes told me just that. My hand came to rest on his jaw, cupping his face softly as I leaned down to capture his lips with my own. He tasted sweet and deep from the coffee that he had apparently been drinking earlier. My tongue lapped against his plump lips and begged for entrance to the cavern within. My other hand found his face, creating a cradle-like hold as I tilted his head and deepened the now passionate kiss. His smooth hands migrated to my overheated chest and slid over the expanse longingly. Electric sensations ran through my body and conflicted with the guilty feeling inside. I knew that Michael's death wasn't my fault but I still felt the ever-present guilt in my stomach, churning away like an angry storm. The gentle caress of Justin's fingers and the moist mouth tangled with mine battled with the monstrous guilt inside.

I closed my eyes tighter and tried to focus on Justin's hand snaking down my stomach, but it was becoming seemingly impossible. Normally, sex would be in the forefront of my thoughts to kill the feeling that seemed to consume me right now...but this time was different. When good old Jack died, I felt something but nothing like this. I shed a few tears and moved on, that's all I could muster. But Mikey...he was my best friend. And to top everything off, my last words to him were selfish and horrible. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a broken kiss and a cell phone ringing.

_Justin's P.O.V_

Our now passionless kiss was broken by the ringing of my cell phone, the familiar tone that signaled that the caller was someone Brian and I both knew. My hands fell free from Brian's newly stiffening body as I made to retrieve the phone. As soon as I answered, the screeching voice of Emmett Honeycutt rang through with piercing pitches.

"Justin?" His voice was a mess of sniffs and pants that told me he had been and was crying.

"Hi Emmett...I heard." I decided to tell him that I knew what he was calling about rather than have him recite it to me, crying and all.

"Michael...he's...gone." His voice was near hyper-ventilating and I had to try and calm him somewhat.

"I know Em...it's going to be okay." I said as I heard someone in the background nearly yelling. "Where are you?"

"D-d-debbie's...she's a fucking...mess. We...all are." At this point, I was kidding myself into thinking that calming him would work.

"Everyone's there?" I asked without thinking, I mean, of course they all were. But Emmett's hoarse 'yeah' confirmed it. Hearing him so emotional and damaged was heartbreaking.

"Will...will you come by? P-please?" The pleading in his voice told me that he really needed another friend there with him. I understood.

"Yeah Em, I'll be there. Just breathe alright?" I knew that he was nodding on the other end because he was too choked up to talk anymore. I gave him an unseen sympathetic smile and hung up the phone.

I turned and faced Brian as the loft fell silent again. I had felt his hazel eyes watching me during the phone conversation and now, as I walked toward him calmly, they were staring straight through me. His body was still stiff as my hand came to rest on his forearm and our eyes met. In those deep forests, I saw the inner turmoil that he was battling...every fleeting thought that passed through his mind, leaving their imprints behind. His guilt shown through like a dark force that wanted nothing more than to take him prisoner...but there was something else. A swirling light that fought hand in hand with the darkness, trying as hard as possible to beat it...I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. Love? Remembrance? I don't know. My hand traced a path from his forearm to his neck, creating a cradling cup near his pulse point. Tracing over his jawline with my thumb, I rose to meet his lips with a small but nonetheless love filled kiss.

"Emmett asked me to go to Debbie's..." I told him when our kiss was broken. There was a moment of fear that I saw in his eyes before the moment that I hoped would never happen did. The fear was washed away by a very skilled mask of indifference was pulled over his beautiful face, the emotions were gone.

_Brian's P.O.V_

I had been doing so well. Son of a bitch. There was nothing more that I wanted than to be open with Justin, but in that moment...I lost. As soon as he mentioned Debbie, the rushing feeling of guilt won over...causing my tactful and convincing mask to reappear. And I saw it...I watched nearly helplessly as Justin's heart sank. The fleeting moment that I saw in his eyes would've brought me to tears if it weren't for this fucking...force. I had pleadingly fought with this in hopes that I would be able to accomplish something anew. For as long as I could remember, I was lonely. I was so alone in the vastness of everything...But meeting Justin had given me so much hope that I could change, and for the better. All I wanted was something normal, believe it or not...I wanted what the Stepford fags had. And then with the curse...that was a fucking joke.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt Justin's smooth hand drop from my warm skin. That's when my heart sank. The electric-like current between us was broken then and I yearned for it to return. His body turned away from me and I felt my heart wrench at the sight of it. I closed my eyes tight in the relief of his sorrowful eyes leaving mine and looking elsewhere. While his back was to me, I felt something deep inside me lurch out from behind my facade.

"I'll take you." I said in a soft tone. The feeling that urged me to say it faded as fast as it came but there was no turning back. His eyes were fixed on mine as soon as the words left my lips.

"Then let's go." His words were almost at a loss of feeling as he stepped past me and made his way to the sofa. My eyes shut tight once more before I ventured to the bedroom and got dressed.

The entire car ride was filled was a think, tense silence when we pulled up to the curb in front of Debbie's house. From the sight of the cars parked there, everyone had shown up. I glanced toward Justin and noted the solum look on his face as we stepped out of the car. I couldn't escape the knowledge that I had put that expression there and it was eating away at me, slowly but surely. Every step I took was slow and deliberate as we approached the front porch of the house. It seemed like every move that I made fed the guilty beast that lurked beneath my well trained facade. A new feeling overtook me as I moved closer to the house, I couldn't tell exactly what it was but it felt a lot like dread. And with every glance to Justin or step I took, the feeling became harsher and deeper.

Justin was ahead of me on the stairs as we climbed. I trailed behind him as we reached the brilliantly red door and knocked. The ruckus and movement inside was amplified when the door flung open and a teary eyed Emmett stood before us, his twisted face and tears gave me a clear indication that this was going to be an awkward and painful meeting between everyone. He lunged forward and caught Justin in a painful looking grasp, hugging and squeezing him tighter than necessary. I tried as hard as I could to disappear from the very place that I stood now, on the precipice of a very intense and emotional meeting of everyone at once.

But just as I tried to sink away and become unseen, I heard a very familiar and very angry shrieking voice in the not-so-distance. I didn't even have to wait for the brilliant red hair to come into view before the words she spouted pierced my soul.

"You did this! You son of a bitch! You did this to my baby...your own fucking best friend!" Debbie barreled toward the door and nearly flung Emmett out of the way to get to me. Her hands fished between Justin and myself, preparing to assault me. Her hands grasped and flew at any visible part of my body. Fists thudding against my chest and hands slapping my face in a violent thrashing. Justin's voice broke through the sound of skin hitting skin, fists pounding against fabric and creating deep, hollow echoes.

"Debbie! Stop it!" Justin's pleas were followed by a rush of hands pulling her away from my now sore body and back into the living room. Everyone migrated to the central point of the house, allowing Justin and myself to cross the threshold and enter. Once we were inside, the darkness of the room swallowed me whole. The reality that I was standing inside the childhood home of my late best friend sunk in...fast.

_Justin's P.O.V_

There were no lights on in the living room. The only source of light in the house was from the kitchen bulb glowing and creating an ominous feel throughout. I looked around the room at the faces of Michael's closest friends and family before I set my eyes on Debbie. Her face was a portrait of hatred and anger ready to explode again, and all of those emotions were flowing from her eyes. I followed her line of sight and laid eyes on Brian, he was standing by the door in what looked like a daze. My feet carried me to him in moments and my hand found his lower back as our bodies pressed against each other, side to side. As soon as I was making contact with him, his eyes found mine. The way his head slid through the air, reminiscent of someone who was running on auto-pilot, was haunting.

"I know it was you." Debbie's eerily soft voice cut through the air and broke the silence in the room. My eyes found her, as did everyone elses'.

"Debbie, what are you talking about?" Ted's confused voice responded to her. I made to open my mouth but Debbie spoke again.

"I'm talking about that son of a bitch standing right here!" Her voice shrieked as she stood and marched over to Brian, pointed her red painted nail directly at his face.

"Debbie! Are you accusing Brian of murdering Michael?" Lindsay's voice spoke up. Emmett's gasp and Ted's disbelieving huff followed Lindsay's words. Debbie's head violently turned and looked over the group before turning to face Brian once again.

_Brian's P.O.V_

Debbie's eyes locked with mine and in that moment, I knew what she was going to do. In that very moment, looking into her eyes, I saw just how convinced she was that it was me. And now she was going to do something that she promised she would never do. I felt my entire body wretch from the inside as my palms began to sweat. I silently pleaded with her while our eyes were locked...but it was too late.

"Yeah, I am...because he's a fucking werewolf. And you know what?" She turned to the crowd as I felt my heart hit the floor. "Last night was a full moon. I know what happens to him, I've seen it. And I know...I...know...that he killed Michael." I felt like I wasn't even inside my own body anymore. My limbs were numb, my knees were threatening to betray me, and my head was spinning as everyone's eyes were now on me. The entire room broke out into a ruckus of talking, whispering, and accusations.

"And I know that he didn't." Justin's voice broke through the circus-like group. The sound of everyone talking at once suddenly became a dull roar.

"And how's that?" Melanie asked. Ted, Emmett, Lindsay, Debbie, Carl...everyone was looking at him now.

"Because I was with him last night. All night. So no...he didn't kill Michael." He stated calmly as his eyes roamed across the entire group. I watched as he saved Debbie for last, holding eye contact with her as he spoke again. "And how dare you...Brian was Michael's best friend...his brother. How dare you accuse him of murder. The Debbie that I know would never have done that. Not in a million fucking years."

All eyes were on us as I felt Justin's hand intertwine with mine and he pulled us toward the door. I still couldn't believe what had just happened. The door opened and I was pulled outside just before the door slammed shut behind me. We ascended the stairs of the porch and followed the sidewalk to my car. It still felt so surreal, everything that had just conspired. I felt like I was running on auto-pilot...like everything that was going on was happening to someone else. That's when a soothing but commanding voice broke through my thoughts.

"Brian." Justin's tone was borderline authoritative as my eyes fell on his. We were standing beside my car as we faced each other, his hand firmly on my forearm. "Are you listening?" I smirked a bit as I saw a glimpse of myself in Sunshine.

"Yeah, I'm listening." Even my voice didn't sound like my own.

"Good, because I want you to listen carefully. None of this is your fault. Do you understand? None of this shit is your fault and I really need you to believe that..." His voice was echoing in my ears as I nodded my head soundly. I wanted so badly to believe him, I did...but at that moment, I didn't know if I could.

"I love you..." The words slipped from my lips as my eyes closed and my forehead pressed against his.

"I love you too, Brian...always and forever." His words were almost lost as his lips pressed against mine in a chaste kiss. The passion and sincerity behind his lips was staggering...and I could believe it. "Now, let's go home..." As those words left his lips, I felt a small hint of relief as my mind cleared and my body felt like it was my own again. Justin stepped around me and opened the passenger door, climbing in and shutting the door behind him.

But as I made my way around the car, I caught the scent of something in the wind that caused the hair on the back of my neck stand up. My eyes shot to my left as the scent seemed to be coming from that direction. I squinted as I saw a glimpse of a shadowed figure standing at the end of the street, between houses. But when I opened my mouth to say something, the figure stepped back and headed down the nearby alleyway. The eery feeling crept up my spine again as I wracked my brain and tried to remember the scent that I had smelled.

That's when it hit me. That scent was wolf and that figure was Michael's murderer. My head shot back to the left but by then, the figure was long gone. My eyes blinked for a bit before I heard Justin's voice from the car.

"Brian? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah..." I replied. "For now."