Hi...I updated AYAYAYAY!! with debate and all...phew...i know it. I've been bust and it's been crazy, but here i am.

now, it's not my best or my longest buti thinks it's purty good:) again, this is kinda a filler. We're having a build up to he action. enjoy:))))

I closed my eyes tightly as the breeze blew my hair back. I walked aimlessly around the forest. The leaves crunched under my feet as I ambled across the forest floor. I was here because I had to get away from the tension that the Cullen house held. Everyone was panicking and trying frantically to figure out a solid, substantial plan. With no such luck and with everyone in a panicky mood I had to escape and think.

Edward had gone hunting after much insistence from me. His eyes had turned a coal black and I could tell he was in pain. It was a miracle I had even escaped from Alice's ever watchful eye, but I had the feeling she knew exactly where I was and was just being kind enough to let me be for a little while.

I was so worried about Edward. He was distant and far away. He was handling me gently again like I was about to break in his arms. His walls were back up again and I didn't know how to bring them back down. I was at a loss.

I looked down as a tear slowly fell down my cheek. I leaned against a nearby tree and slid to the ground. I was such a wreck. All I seemed to be able to do lately was cry. I couldn't really blame Edward for treating me like a china doll. I was such a wimp. I really needed to toughen up. I looked down at the mossy ground and grimaced in anger. The Volutri could not do this to my family. To my Edward. To me. I wouldn't let them. I wanted to be a vampire. I wanted to fight and hurt them for what they were doing to my family. I needed to be a vampire. Just like I needed Edward. I glanced up at the sky. It was a cloudy mess of grays. The weather seemed to pick up on my mood.

Lightening flashed sharply across the sky. I watched in amazement as the lightening and thunder danced and sang through the sky. It started pouring rain. I smiled gently. Finally, the rain had its uses. I felt as though the heavy downpour was cleaning me of all the evils.

"Bells, what the hell are you doing?" A voice came through the darkness. I started as I saw Jake's figure move towards me.

"Jake? Is that you?" I asked in excitement.

"Who else would it be, Bells?" he chuckled.

I threw myself at him. "Oh, Jake! I've missed you so much! You don't know what it's been like! I've been so scared."

"I have an idea, Bella. The leeches have been keeping us pretty informed and I've missed ya too, Bells." He added with a wink.

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'Oh'." He laughed. "Okay, let's get you out of the rain. Your parasite is freaking."

I gasped. "Edward."

"You really are out of it, aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be too?" I asked my voice wavering.

"Aw, Bells, everything's gonna be fine."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that. Not everything can be fine. I don't even want "fine" I want great. It's not fair!" I ranted.

"Bells, come on," he said, as he lifted me into his arms. His warm arms enveloped me as he ran for a bit through the rain.

A few minutes later we were in front of the house and Edward was leaning against the front door, looking not too happy. Before I could blink I was in his arms.

"Bella," he breathed. "Why must you always give me a heart attack?" He kissed my forehead.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I fingered the collar of his shirt.

"We've been scoping out the area and there's nothing," Jake stated, walking up onto the porch.

"They have postponed their visit, Jacob," Edward explained.

"All the better. Gives us more time to prepare," Jake sounded truly enthused. I didn't want him fighting.

"Jake, maybe you shouldn't fight. Stay with Melanie." I encouraged.

"How did you know?" Then comprehension flew across his face. "I forgot your husband's a mind reader." He said husband like it was a bad word. I shivered as the cold finally shuddered through me. Edward growled a curse and ran me inside. Jake followed in silently. Alice was in the living room, waiting with a t shirt and sweats. Edward set me down and I grabbed the clothes, thankfully, from Alice. I changed quickly in the bathroom and then walked into the living room where the whole family including Jake was sitting in the den. Edward grabbed a hold of me and sat me in his lap.

"I was thinking we could all set around the perimeter and-"

"That won't work, dog," Rosalie spat.

"Let me finish, blondie." Jake replied.

"Well, why don't we-"

"We could change her-"

"No!"

"Come on-"

I couldn't take it any more. I had the plan that I wanted in my head and I couldn't take the fighting or the tension anymore.

"STOP!" I screamed.

Everyone froze and looked over at me.

"I am going to be changed and I am going to help fight. I don't care what any of you say. This is what I want. It's what will make me happy," I said the last part to Edward who looked like someone was burning him.

"And now I'm going to bed." I walked over to Jake and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Night, Jake."

He chuckled and took me into a hug. "You tell 'em, Bells. Sleep well," he whispered.

Edward sighed and took me up into his arms. He ran us up to the bed and sat me down.

"Bella, love, are you sure," he asked after a long, painful silence.

I took a deep breath. "Yes, I want this. I love you, Edward and I'm not going to lose you. Ever."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

Edward pulled me forcefully to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest.

"Bella, I want you to know…that…that you can still back out and leave and we can leav-"

"No. Don't you dare," I threatened. "I'm not leaving. The word leaving is not allowed."

Edward chuckled and gave me a peck on the lips. He leaned back so that I was lying on his chest.

"Sleep, my love. We have trying weeks ahead. I love you."

I yawned, more tired than I realized. "I love you, Edward."

He kissed my forehead and then began to hum my lullaby.

Reveiw, fools!:)