Thirty
"So that's it? You're just not angry anymore?"
"Uh," Emma stuttered. She had expected Regina to be annoyed but not to be pissed.
"She just tells you some sob story about her job and you forgive a week, an entire week of neglect?"
She had put Henry down and now the angry Queen inside of Regina was going to have her say. "How is that something you are comfortable with? Is the woman accountable for nothing?"
"Regina, you don't know anything about my relationship."
"Oh on the contrary, Emma. I seem to know a great deal about your relationship."
"Look, I'm sorry that we got interrupted. I know you were enjoying our time together with Henry."
Regina's eyelashes fluttered, "this isn't because of that! This is about you letting that woman do whatever she wants and you rolling over and taking it!"
"Hey!"
"And I'm sorry, Emma, but I do not believe those bruises came from an accident on the cliff."
Emma scoffed, trying to keep the shaking panic from her voice. "So what, you have some theory that Hanna gave them to me? How? Have you seen her? She's tiny."
"I have. She is a tiny ball of freakish muscle." Regina mumbled.
"She's not exactly the type…"
"And yet I remain unconvinced."
"Regina. I love you. I'm not going to talk to you about this." Emma kissed the cheek of the brazen woman; surprised she wasn't burned and left the house.
Why did Regina have to be so observant? Why did she always have to see everything?
We laughed together as she rolled off of me, violently kicking her shoes off and then stretching her body long against mine. Face to face and forehead to forehead we kissed, as our hands gently explored the places we had never touched one another before.
Scooting closer she nuzzled my neck and whispered, perhaps whimpered "Em. My Em. I…" Her breath hitched and I gasped, clutching her as I felt her probing fingers and I...I...one simple touch to the right spot was all it took for me to cry out her name, thrashing against her.
"That was easy." Regina whispered, pulling my leg up over her hip.
"Shut up." I laughed, embarrassed and covered my face. She pulled my hand away, "Don't be embarrassed. I'm flattered. And I'm not finished with you yet."
With my leg over her this way I was fully open to her. Her eyes glittered as she began to pet me, softly exploring.
My lips found hers, tenderly kissing her, "I love you, Gin."
"Oh Em," She sighed into me, "I don't know that I have ever loved anyone besides you."
Slowly, her fingers looping lightly, she entered me, burying herself in my body.
Emma woke slowly. This was the first time that waking from the dream wasn't like being dropped into cold water but instead waking in a warm bath.
Regina was gone, transported back across town once she was out of the dream.
She stretched, her body feeling like it had just come out of the dryer, hot and covered in static.
Her mother had the heat on too high, or perhaps the heat was coming from the inside of her. She yawned and rolled onto her back, pulling her clothing off and letting herself lay in the darkness naked and cooling her sticky skin.
The dream never went that far. Without thinking she casually let a finger slip over a hard nipple flicking it, then again. It felt so good that she did not stop her hand as it traveled down her stomach. It was no surprise to her to find herself thoroughly coated in arousal.
She always woke from the dream feeling excited, what was the use in stopping herself? She pictured Regina's face over hers that night so long ago, the way that she had lightly sucked on her lips.
She moaned a little and rolled back onto her stomach, circling over her excitedly sensitive clit.
When she was through she yawned largely, asleep again in seconds without another thought.
When she woke again a few hours later she searched and studied herself, did she feel any different? She was thirty now, a real adult. Yet she felt the same and thought this was unfortunate. As a child, she had thought that you just woke up one day with all of the answers to life's struggles. Why couldn't that be true?
She sighed and rolled to her feet, grinning at the slice of birthday cake that was sitting on her nightstand. The surprise slice of cake when the person woke was such an old tradition in her family that she had forgotten about it completely. It was her birthday so she shrugged, taking a bite before she had woken fully. It was Ingrid's Rose cake. Yum.
She stretched and went to the mirror then doubled over laughing, a large red lip print was smack in the middle of her forehead. Mary's go-to shade was a neutral pink, had Regina snuck in here when she was asleep to deliver the cake and the kiss?
She blushed furiously; she had been naked when Regina had come in! She had been sleeping atop the covers! She remembered her deed before she had fallen back to sleep this morning and blushed even harder. She felt deliciously dirty and had to sit on her bed for a few minutes to let the hot drain from - everything. There was no way that Regina could have caught her was there? No, probably not.
She dressed slowly waiting for the last of the blush to fade before facing her mother.
"Happy birthday my sweet girl!" Mary crooned kissing her face. "I see I was not the first one to get a kiss in!"
Emma just smiled.
"I made you breakfast!" Her mother forced her into a chair in the kitchen and loaded her plate with fried eggs, bacon, English muffins and fruit.
"Jesus Ma, I can't eat all of this. Help me."
Mary sat graciously and nibbled on the food with her. "Are you sure I can't change your mind about this evening?"
"Nope, I really don't need anything bigger. I'm happy with plans as they are."
Mary pouted a little, "This is the first birthday you will be home for in years. I just want to make a big deal of it for you I guess."
"There's no need, but thank you. When did Gin come by?"
"Oh, I thought I heard something around five this morning. I can't be sure though because she has her own key so she can come and go as she pleases."
"She has a key?"
Mary scowled, "You have a key."
Emma wasn't sure if she would ever grow accustomed to how much of a daughter Regina was to her mother.
After the meal she sent a quick message to Regina, "So how much did you see of me this morning? If I had known you were coming I wouldn't have slept naked!"
Regina responded quickly, clearly in a good mood, "Say the word naked again."
Emma laughed, almost able to hear Regina's playful tone.
"Naked."
"Oh, you're such a tease."
"Ginny! How much did you see!
"Just enough to be having a very good day today."
"Regina Mills!"
Regina only responded with the picture of a winking face.
Emma felt flustered again, warmth in her core. "But I was asleep when you got here, right?"
"Of course. It was early. Why?"
"No reason. Just curious."
"Ohhhh, Emma Nolan! There was a reason why you were naked. Do tell."
"Shut up."
Emma went for a run that morning and then spent some time organizing her list of wedding plans. She had somehow managed to come to an end. There was little left. She hoped that would be something she and Hanna had time to discuss the following day. After all, the wedding was only eighteen days away. They were entering crunch time.
She organized all of the papers she wanted to bring for Hanna into a binder and gathered her clothing for the next morning. She didn't want to spend the time thinking about it later.
Regina showed up that afternoon to give Henry over to Mary and take Emma to a 'special birthday lunch'. Emma was surprised to notice that she blushed guiltily the moment that Regina walked into the room.
"What's wrong?" Mary asked.
Regina, grinning like a child with a secret stash of Halloween candy under her pillow announced, "I saw her naked this morning."
Emma threw the couch pillow at her.
"Wait, I'm confused. I thought that wasn't a new thing."
Emma threw a couch pillow at her mother.
They did not go to a nice restaurant as Emma had assumed - as Hanna would have insisted on taking her - but instead drove across town to one of their favorite teenage spots, the toll bridge.
"I can't believe I haven't been here since I got back."
Mary had first taken them here as girls for picnics then the two had continued to return with one another and eventually with dates over the years.
"I thought that might be the case. This is probably the last chance we will have before it begins to snow. Besides, I figured if you're leaving soon I better remind you of one of the best reason to stay."
"Leaving?"
Regina shrugged as to not make a big deal of her words, "The wedding is coming up pretty quickly. I know what that means."
Emma shifted the subject, "You should come to New Orleans. I'll show you a good time." Emma hadn't thought about it but it was true. The wedding was almost there. Then she would leave Storybrooke again. Unhappy nausea rolled through her. She was going to have to say goodbye to everyone all over again. Would she come back to visit now that the didn't have something here that haunted her? Would it be enough?
They turned the heater on low and leaned back in their seats, feet up and comfortable. From the front seat of the car they could see the forest line, brightly colored and inviting. Emma sighed, "I can't believe how much I miss this place."
"You say that as though you still miss it. You do know that you are currently in it." Regina pointed out.
"I think I'm already missing it. It's like when you're watching a really good cancelled TV show. You begin to mourn the ending before you have even reached it, you know?"
"You don't have to go, you know. You and Hanna have not come up with where you will go for your three-week honeymoon. Stay here. I'm sure Ruby would give you a room at the inn as a wedding gift and I'm sure I could - handle three weeks of - Hanna." Regina looked as though she had a pin stuck in her throat and Emma had to laugh.
"Could you be a little more convincing?"
Regina rolled her eyes, her lips pursing into a hard line, "Trust me, I didn't intend to be convincing."
"Jesus, could you hate her a little more?"
"Don't challenge me, dear."
"Whyyyy?" Emma groaned, throwing her hands up into the air.
Regina caught her wrist that was finally, mostly, free of the bruises and gave her a pointed look, "I am a doctor, Em. I know a handprint when I see one. Now, I have no way of knowing if you are lying but my gut tells me those bruises did not come from an accident on the cliff. However, I have no proof so for the time being, I remain civil." She said the last word with such a chill that it made Emma shiver.
Emma shrugged and said the first thing that came to her mind, "I had a dream about you last night."
"Don't think for a moment that I do not see that you are changing the subject but I am intrigued. Explain."
A group of teenagers walked by distracting Emma. They were heading down the bridge and into the forest, laughing and shoving one another clad in their teenager hoodies and wearing their teenager grins.
"Do you remember us as teenagers? We were so ready to get out of this town. We hated everything about it and swore that once we were out we would never come back. I still remember the culture shock of coming from Boston to Storybrooke when I was adopted. I thought this place was going to end up being some weird Children of The Corn cult situation." Regina choked on her sip of water, "It's funny how things work, isn't it? Does it make me weak that I want to come home? The teenager in me feels like a failure for getting out and then wanting back in...like I couldn't cut it elsewhere."
Regina was looking at the teenagers thoughtfully, "The thing is we were too young to appreciate things like living close to family and familiarity. Plus you had one foot out the door at that point, always ready to run. It doesn't make you a failure, it makes you an adult with different desires than your eighteen year old counterpart."
Emma nodded, "It's funny the things that I miss. People think differently here. I noticed that when I came here and I noticed that when I left. I think that's why I like New Orleans. Some how the whole place feels like a community, as though there are only two hundred people there too. Plus, I miss the trees here. I miss the trees and the leaves and the weather."
"Don't forget about the snow. You used to love the snow."
"Oh I love the snow. It's beautiful and so...romantic. Every year the day of the first snow seems like the best time for wishes to be fulfilled. It is beautiful. Still, there is more to being home than that. I miss knowing where everything in the city is blindfolded. I miss having memories, old memories in all of those places too."
"You don't have that in New Orleans? You've been there for fives years now."
"I guess I do to a point but maybe because I was never a child or a teenager there that the memories aren't the same. I think that the people here are different too, my friends I mean. All of my friends out there are friends of mine and Hanna's and they are amazing people but I just don't feel the same when I'm with them as I do when I'm with you or Ruby."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know I didn't meet you until I was nine and Ruby until I was sixteen but I think when you were young with someone you make a friendship that you can't replicate when you get older. You can't be silly in the same way. I have friends out there but no one I am close enough with to have bothered to call while I have been away. Also, you and Ruby make me laugh in a way that no one else can. I feel safe with you guys, like I'm where I am supposed to be. I feel like a puzzle piece in your lives and that just isn't true with anyone I have met since then."
Regina nodded, "It sounds like you really would like to come home but you don't think you ever will."
Emma laughed to herself, "I think I would like to come home, what the hell? Actually, I think I really want to, I'm about to be married and children will follow after that someday - I hope. Suddenly NOLA seems like a wonderful city for a young and unattached couple - a writer and a young lawyer- but no place to raise a family. I want to come back here where my family is. But no I don't think it will ever happen, not with Hanna. Besides, I don't think this town is big enough for the two of you."
Regina laughed, eyes glinting with affection.
Emma took a deep breath and felt it catch in her throat. "Besides, Hanna loves her job and how could I leave all of mine? It took me years to make all of those connections - it took her years!"
"Well, I'm not sure about Hanna, but I know for a fact that the University of Southern Maine is hiring right now. What happened to your lifelong plan of teaching once you were married and settled?"
"I don't know" she answered honestly "I got my credentials before I left but I know I will never live in Maine full time again so I just haven't bothered to keep them updated. Getting certified in New Orleans just seemed like a pain." She thought that the career change would be a welcomed one. She enjoyed writing and she would never give that up, Detective Swan was far too close to her heart but she could give up the office and the freelancing happily. Emma shrugged it off, the problem was that this trip had opened her eyes to a lot of things she wanted to change about her life but taking a teaching job in Maine just could not happen.
The mood had grown serious and reflective. Emma didn't want that, she had spent so much time this trip, especially the last week, in a depressed and worried funk. Light and easy fun was what she wanted right now. She could go back to worrying tomorrow.
She clicked on the radio and sang along to the song playing, purposely fumbling the lyrics knowing that Regina would tease her until the mood lightened.
Regina got the hint and began pulling sandwiches out from the bag in the back seat. "So tell me about this dream." Regina said waggling her eyebrows, "Was it a good one? Please tell me that is why I found you naked this morning."
Emma flushed and let her head fall back against the seat with a groan. "Stop talking about that. I'm embarrassed enough."
Regina's eyebrow rose, that strange seductive aura of hers filling the car as she settled her back against the door to face Emma, "You should be grateful. I almost left that mark on your ass."
Emma turned red from her head to her toes.
"Tell me about the dream."
It had seemed like such a good idea to tell Regina about her dream ten minutes ago but now, with that eyebrow pulling the way it was and her body stirring lightly at the thought of those red lips on her naked, sleeping skin - it just did not.
"Oh no, my dear." Regina laughed seeing Emma's hesitation, "You do not get to tell me that you had a dream about me and then refuse to tell me what it was!"
Emma rolled her eyes, "Fine." She took another deep cleansing breath and dove over the cliff. "Do you ever think about it?"
"I'm sorry?" Regina stopped laughing immediately realizing this wasn't just a joke.
Emma cocked her eyebrow at her and Regina looked away, understanding.
"I suppose there are times that I do. When I see you sleeping naked or apparently in a wedding dress," she cleared her throat.
"I have dreams about it sometimes. That's what happened last night."
Regina's grin broke across her face again, the devilish, Regina-is-up-to-no-good grin, "And you were naked."
"Oh my god, shut up!" Emma covered her face.
"Why were you naked, Em?" Regina's face shown, playing at polite interest but Emma wasn't fooled."
"Shut up!"
"Oh but it's only a question."
"Shut up!" She shoved Regina who just laughed, eyes sparkling.
"I think I can put that down as a win for myself, thank you very much."
Emma shoved her lightly, only removing one hand from her eyes.
Regina shoved her back and then became still, "What do you think it means that you're still dreaming about that?"
"Does that mean that you don't?"
"That's not what I'm saying, I'm just asking what you think it means."
Emma shrugged and said truthfully, "I think that it means that I still haven't really worked through it or what happened because of it."
"Right. Of course. " Regina mumbling half under her breath and bundled tighter in her jacket.
Emma heard the slightly sour note "Why? Were you wanting me to say it's because I'm still in love with you?" Emma had said it as a joke but when she looked into Regina's face she saw that it had fallen open, eyes wide and something shocked and raw sat there exposed.
"Regina…" Emma opened her mouth to apologize for the joke; Regina cut her off.
"Oh, look at the time! It's almost time for me to leave for work. Will you text me if there is anything we need for tonight that we forgot? Or tomorrow for that matter."
She agreed, goose bumps across her skin.
She got home to find her mother on the floor, photo albums scattered around her and Henry chewing happily on a teething ring.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"I'm looking at pictures. Come sit."
"Ah, birthdays' past." Emma said looking through the shots.
"I can't believe you're thirty! God, I've gotten old."
Emma scoffed, of course that was what she would say.
"You know your dad would be so proud of you."
"He would? You think so?"
Mary nodded.
"I miss him, Ma."
"I know. I do too, sweetie."
Emma nodded and let her head rest on Mary's shoulder. Perhaps Mary was a bitch. Perhaps she was often self-centered and yes, she had kept a huge secret from her for years but - flawed as she was - she was her mother and she loved her.
In that moment nestled between the warmth of her mother and the warmth Regina had shown her earlier that day Emma felt protected by the two women who loved her most.
Emma had waited all day to hear from Hanna, anxious to know what the plan for the next day would be officially but to no avail. Finally just before Ruby arrived that evening Emma decided to give in and call her.
"Hello?"
"Hey, how are you? What are you up to?"
Hanna sounded distracted and perhaps a little blasé but willing to talk for a minute, "Oh I'm at work trying to organize this desk. I don't know why I let it get so crowded. Then I need to get some dinner and get ready for my flight tonight."
"Are you looking forward to tomorrow at all?" Emma asked hopefully.
"My meeting?"
"No, dinner. We were thinking we would head out in the morning so that we can spend some time in the city."
"Oh, right."
"Are you sure you can't join us during the day, even for a little bit?"
Hanna scoffed, "No! I'm sorry Emma but I have told you that I will be far too busy with my meetings. I can't just pick up and go with you."
"Oh. Right. I guess we were just hoping…"
"We?" Hanna said distractedly, the sound of paperwork being shuffled was loud on her end.
"Yes, remember I told you that I'm going up there with Gin and Ingrid."
"Why aren't they coming to dinner then?" she asked for what felt like the hundredth time.
"So it could be just the two of us."
"Well that's silly Emma," Hanna said patronizingly, "I will have Vanessa with me so we couldn't have time alone even if we wanted to. Bring your friends."
"Vanessa?" Emma searched her memory, she knew she had been introduced to a Vanessa once at a party or was it a luncheon? Maybe in a bar? She had a feeling that they had met on a night where Hanna had gotten Emma very drunk. This was the first time however that the name had come up in context to this trip to Boston and she felt her heart fall a little.
"My coworker. She will be there too, we are sharing a room so I'm obligated to have dinner with her."
"Oh."
"You're disappointed. What? What is it?"
"Nothing!" Emma jumped at the sudden snap, "I'm just disappointed. I thought that we were going to be able to talk. That was the plan….remember? Just you and I?"
"Emma, I know I already told you. Please don't give me any shit. Before we start fighting let's move on. What are you up to?"
"Just getting ready for people to show up." Emma was getting a sneaking suspicion that Hanna was unaware of the fact that today was her fiancé's birthday. "I guess by people I really mean Ruby and Regina, I don't really know anyone else anymore. Do you think I should have invited Ingrid too?"
"To what? Are you having another dinner party?"
She sighed, the weight of depression resting itself heavily on her chest, "It's my birthday today Hanna. Remember? You were supposed to get in this morning but your plans changed?"
"What?" Hanna swore, "Right; I didn't realize what day it was. I've been stuck in this office for so long that time no longer has any meaning. I'm very sorry, happy birthday babe."
Emma hung up not long after feeling low. She wanted her home and her old life back or at least the security she had felt in it. She didn't want to leave Storybrooke but she was sick of feeling transient and she was sick of watching Hanna change into - someone else. The wedding plans were almost entirely finalized thanks to all of her hard work; perhaps she should go home for a week and try to sort out her feelings as well as Hanna's. The only problem was that dread filled her at the thought of a return home for a few weeks. Hanna...who would Hanna be? Would she be sober? Did she really want to know what the issue was? Did she really want to know why her feet ran cold every time she thought of her impending wedding?
Did she really want to give up her last bit of time with…(Regina) her mother and friends?
Ruby arrived then with a handful of wine bottles, a bag of chips and a few DVDs.
"I didn't know what kind of night you wanted to have but I personally plan on getting wasted like I'm seventeen again because today was awful," Ruby caught sight of Mary in the corner rocking chair with Henry and amended, "if you don't mind. And when I said seventeen what I really meant was twenty-two."
"Oh, Ruby Lucas I was friends with your grandmother, you can't lie to me."
Ruby flushed red.
"Mom!"
Mary grinned, "I'm only teasing sweetheart. Pretend I'm not here."
Ruby popped open a bottle and poured both of them a huge glass.
"Hey Rubes, I've told you that Hanna's been weird for a while now, right?"
"Right."
"Do you think it could be cold feet? That's really common, right? Ma said that dad was a little weird right before they got married; did things he wouldn't normally."
"Stop thinking about Hanna, Em. It's only going to drive you crazy tonight. You'll see Hanna tomorrow and maybe you can talk about it a little then."
She nodded, "You're right. Lets find something better to watch."
"Or lets just drink faster."
They tried to get into the party mood and they failed.
They tried playing a drinking game but it didn't work well. They tried to play a duo version of King's Cup but once they reached card '6 for dicks', they gave up.
"God, are we too old for fun now? Why do we suck so much?" Emma wailed, hanging over the edge of the couch.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Mary asked, emerging from her room to get a bottle for Henry.
Emma hopped up and tickled his belly, "You'll like me even if I'm old and lame, right buddy?"
He stared, half a smile on his lips.
"Guah!" Emma said and his eyes lit up, his legs pumping.
"Guah! Gaaahuah! Ooooooohau!"
"At least he understands me." Emma sighed and fell dramatically onto the couch.
"Okay, okay I got it."
"What?"
Ruby ran back to her bag and pulled out a huge bottle of whiskey, "Fuck it. I brought provisions."
Emma was hesitant, not exactly excited for this plan, they agreed and they began to drink - really drink.
Within an hour everything had the off color shimmer of inebriation but Emma's mood had only fallen. When alcohol is involved emotions tend to swing solidly in one direction or the other. Emma had swung to depression. She could feel it happening but seemed to have little to no will to swing it back. Hanna hadn't bothered to make the time to be there with her and it was all Emma could see. She felt small and unimportant in her drunken state.
Ruby put on some music and tried to pull her to her feet and get her to dance but really Emma didn't want to. She wanted to yawn and cry a little bit and just be left alone, maybe even get into bed and mope.
"Emma! This won't work unless you let it!" Ruby complained constantly.
Emma just groaned each time and apologized drinking a little more of her drink.
After a while of watching Ruby fail, Mary had a moment of maternal inspiration. She got up, put Henry in the Packin' Play and went to the stereo to put a cd on, "Ruby, your mother was my age, did she ever show you dances from her day?"
Despite Emma's overwhelming want to go to sleep she was intrigued. Emma had grown up on stories from when her mother was a child, stories of penny candy and roller skates. Sitting on the couch she watched her mother pull Ruby next to her by the hands as classic disco funk blared suddenly from the speakers, a smile already cracking at the corner of her lips.
"Are you ready?" Mary asked Ruby, whom was already laughing at herself before she had even begun to follow Mary's footsteps. "This one is called The Bump."
"Oh I know this one!"
Mary showed Ruby The Bump and The Bus Stop before Emma finally stood insisting, "Do that one again, I want to try."
Emma just caught Mary winking at Ruby as she started the CD over and they begun again.
Emma loved it, the curse of sadness broken like magic within minutes of dancing.
"What about The Hustle?" Emma asked and that lead to another thirty minutes of dancing before Mary moved on to the few moves she knew from the 60's and the 80's. Then Emma and Ruby took over filling in dances from the 90's and 2000's, teaching Mary who was not as good of a student as Emma and Ruby had been.
"So what was that sad face about earlier?" Mary asked doing an awkward version of The Tootsie Roll.
Emma shrugged, "Hanna forgot my birthday and she just doesn't seem happy at all about the idea of seeing me tomorrow. I don't know what the fuck is up with her. She keeps swearing that she doesn't have the time to do anything with us but I think it isn't true. She told me before I left that she had a lot of free time on this trip. Also we said we were going to do some talking while we were together tomorrow. It's the whole reason why Regina and Ingrid have reservations somewhere else but now she's invited her co-worker to dinner, whom I'm sorry, she never told me about! Gin and Ingrid might as well join us. I just kind of hate it. I feel like I used to know every thought in Hanna's head and I haven't for months. I just - I don't know. My spider senses are tingling."
For a brief second as she danced she wondered what we life would be like if they broke up. Unbidden images of herself at the gym working off the last five pounds she wanted gone, changing her hair, finding a new life, a new love interest. How did she feel about this?
Then Ruby recommended the Macarena and the thoughts of a new life were bumped out of place by Ruby's hip.
Regina strolled in just after the doorbell with a pizza and a few more bottles of wine just as Mary was perfecting the dance.
"Oh my." She said and laughed a little, "What are you guys doing?"
"It's the pizza lady! This is the second time she's shown up here with pizza in the middle of the night." Emma yelled jumping up and down on the couch cushion, hyperactivity the new predominant emotion.
"Second huuh?" Ruby asked suggestively, Emma shoved her so she toppled in a gaggle of bony knees and elbows into a heap on the living room floor.
Regina put her things down, smiling a smile that read even if she didn't want to - she loved these idiots. "To be fair, Rubes, if you're not open there is no other take out in this city besides pizza. And my son?"
"Don't worry. He's tucked away in my room, sleeping soundly. I was worried one of these two would trip over him. The monitor is there" she pointed next to the couch, "on full volume."
Regina nodded once, "Thank you, mom."
"We got kind of drink - wait - drunk, yeah - that." Emma confessed, "Because I'm old and my girlfriend forgot my birthday and Ruby had a bad day. Come dance with us. Actually," Emma jumped down from the couch, nearly tipping over and running to the kitchen shouting that Regina needed a very large drink.
Emma wobbled as she sprinted back into the living room when she realized she had forgotten Regina, grabbing her by the arm. Once they were in the kitchen Regina stopped, smirking and pulled Emma to her. The drunken woman spun with ease and landed chest to chest with Regina. Regina's eyebrow popped for a second, "Hey, hey focus! Have you eaten? When's the last time you ate?"
Regina's hands cupping her face this way while looking at her so squarely in the eyes made Emma's brain stumble. She blinked a few times rapidly, staggered and feeling as if the sun was suddenly in her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"Hmmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I um,"
Her mother followed them in the with the pizza box and sat Emma down by the hips, "Not since you took her out earlier."
They ate and then Emma broke out the huge bottle.
"Oooh no," Regina started the moment she saw it.
"Ooooh yes."
"No! No way!" Regina stood from the table, clearing away their plates, "Shots? Are you asking me to take shots?"
"Uh, yeah."
"And what about my son? Shouldn't I stay sober enough to take care of him should the need arise?"
"No." Emma said, pouring the amber liquid into the small glass measuring cup as their shot glass. "My mother can do that."
"Oh? Are you volunteering her?"
Emma inched in, holding the shot glass at eye level, "That's right."
Regina's eyes narrowed as Emma drew herself flush against her flirtatiously.
"I'm going to win. You know you're going to give in to me."
"Do I now?"
Emma let her face melt into her best puppy dog pout but Regina's face just hardened. "Oh just take the shot already, Gin!"
Regina scowled but her lips parted when Emma pressed the glass to her lips.
Emma's eyebrow popped holding the coffee eyes in a silent challenge as Regina's head slowly began to tilt back allowing the amber liquid to flow between her parting lips.
The glass emptied before, with a shake of her head, she swallowed all at once.
Emma grinned a satisfied smirk, "Good." She poured another shot without moving from her place of challenge against Regina's body.
"And what about you?"
Emma smirked, pouring a second shot, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."
Regina moistened her lips smugly, "Indeed."
"Wait, wait, show me again." Regina said pulling Emma back to her, who was as easily distracted just now as a chipmunk. The force of her pull sent drunk Emma colliding with drunk Regina's hip and the two collapsed into gales of laughter.
Mary just shook her head.
"Okay ready?" Emma slowly moved her feet so Regina could follow along.
"No, no, no!" Mary got up and teasingly pushed them out of the way, "Watch my feet."
"Gah! Damn it, I can do this!" Regina cried clutching Emma's arm for balance.
"I'm not sure that's true." Ruby hazed from the couch, getting up to make another drink.
"Quiet!"
Emma watched Regina as she drunkenly pulled her scrub shirt over her head and shook out her hair as if shaking off her day. The tight little black tank top underneath was in flattering contrast to the baggy scrubs.
Regina noticed her watching and raised her eyebrows at her. Emma looked away quickly and bit her lip, not hiding her guilt well but Regina was clearly enjoying that fact.
"I'm only human." Emma muttered.
Ruby came tearing back into the living room, her drink only half made, excited.
Emma jumped, shocked and a little confused, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Is it Henry?"
"Let's play Never Have I Ever!"
Regina and Emma both tittered and turned away, understanding nothing to be wrong and her idea to be a terrible one.
"No really!" Ruby cried, "Come on we used to do it all of the time when we were young and we'll have way better answers now!" It was true; Never Have I Ever had always been their game of choice when they had been young and drunk. It always started out innocently enough but in the end always became one large sexual joke. "Come on!"
"Ruby, there is no way I'm playing that with my mom here." Emma laughed but her mother shook her head and said she had to head to bed anyway.
"There see! It's a sign."
Regina sat down next to Emma, her legs habitually crossing as she thought, "What do you think? How much of an ass do you want to make of yourself tonight?"
"I don't know. I think I might have fulfilled my humiliation meter for the day when you saw me naked. Do you want to?"
"I don't know," Regina admitted, "It's a bit like playing Truth or Dare. Is that a reasonable game to play at our age? Aren't we supposed to be more dignified than that by now? Though I suppose we took whiskey shots so clearly we are already operating as teenagers this evening. Why not?"
"Fuck it!" Emma cried. If Regina was game then she was game.
They made sure that Emma's mother was indeed in bed then sat in a circle on the living room throw rug.
"I hope you understand that the difference between playing this now and playing this ten years ago, Ruby, is that now I will not be able to get up from this floor."
"Who's going first?" Ruby asked, ignoring Regina. When Emma and Regina both did all they could to avoid her gaze she groaned, called them grandmas and said she would.
"Keep it clean!" Emma ordered, knowing it would do no good.
"Okay, fine if you want to be boring!" Ruby thought for a minute "Never Have I Ever spent more than 100 dollars on a pair of shoes."
Regina and Emma drank and then laughed, none surprised by this.
"I suppose," Regina looked around as if she would gather inspiration from the room, "Never Have I Ever traveled more than a thousand miles for a vacation."
Emma grumbled an obscene phrase and took a drink.
They made a round before Ruby was next, coming up with something easily, "Never Have I Ever walked in on my parents."
Emma frowned and took a drink. Regina, looking equally unhappy asked, "Does it count if it was Mary and David?"
"Yup. Drink, sista!"
Regina took a gulp and grimaced though at the taste or the memory no one knew.
Emma grabbed a few pillows from the couch and flopped back on them, her throne in this game, "Never Have I Ever fucked anyone within an hour of meeting them."
To everyone's surprise Regina looked away and took a sip.
"Regina!" They cried in unison and then, "Who?"
Regina fluttered her eyelashes, "Wouldn't you like to know. Hey, I thought this game was supposed to be clean."
They grumbled and shrugged.
"Alright then, Never Have I Ever been in handcuffs."
"In life or sexually?" Emma asked, squinting through one eye to see her correctly.
"Either."
Both Emma and Ruby took a drink, glaring at the well-behaved one in the group.
"Which one?" Regina asked with a wicked grin.
"Both." Emma shrugged making Regina laugh so hard that she fell backward.
"Okay," Ruby clapped her hands, "I'm coming up from behind. Uuuumm, something I've never done. Uh, oh but that's not true for you guys either. Shit, but I can't think of anything else. Alright. Never Have I Ever gotten a tattoo."
Both Regina and Emma drank avoiding eye contact with one another and Ruby yelled in surprise, "Since when have you two had tattoos? I know almost everything about both of you, there's no way. Ginny, you have a tattoo?"
"Wait, wait, why am I the one that surprises you?"
"Um, because." Ruby answered as if it were obvious.
Regina glared.
"We've uh, had tattoos for a while now." Emma voice was sly, holding back a grin.
"We? Where are they?" Ruby asked excitedly and Regina just flashed a vixen grin. "Let me see!"
"No way!"
"Come on!"
"Nu-uh."
"Em!"
"Nope."
"Ginny?"
"Not going to happen."
"Come on, you guys suck!"
Regina laughed, making up her mind. "Okay, fine. Shouldn't be awkward, right?"
Emma shook her head forcefully and naively agreed. They had gotten them a long time ago after all.
Regina groaned as she got up and teetering slightly, pulled up the small tank top exposing her long lean belly, where a lacey and swirly golden E.N. sat just under her left bra cup.
Ruby's jaw dropped comically, "When the fuck did you get that?"
Emma touched Regina's tattoo softly, fondly, then pulled down the side of her pants freeing her own R.M. just under the right hip bone, not at all blind to Regina possibly drunken staring a little harder than maybe she should have at Emma's bare skin. "Maybe a year before I left town. Think of them as friendship bracelets."
"In provocative places." Ruby scoffed.
It was surprising how stirring that little tattoo on Regina's skin was. She wanted to touch it again but held back, looking away and wondering if Regina felt any pull to place her hand over the spot where her initials had been branded into Emma's skin. She pictured Regina close, softly running her hand down Emma's side to the tattoo and quickly pulled her pants back up. This was a strange new feeling for it hadn't been so long ago that she had looked at her tattoo with distaste. When had it turned from an unhappy memory back into a symbol?
"They are not." Emma insisted. Regina cocked an eyebrow, knowing full well that her hip was a place that made Emma come undone. "Shut up." She rolled her eyes at the woman who hadn't needed to speak.
"What does Hanna think of it?" Ruby asked, biting her lip to hide her humor.
Regina cocked an eyebrow, waiting for the answer.
"She thinks it is exactly what it is - though I'm sure she will have different feeli,"
"My turn. I have never eaten Mongolian food!" Regina said hastily over the end of Emma's sentence.
Emma rolled her eyes, knowing Regina had said that so she would have to take a drink.
"Oh yea, well I've never been a brunette!" Emma retorted and Regina shoved her.
"I have…" Ruby seemed to be at a loss for what to say, "Oh, I have never remained friends with an ex."
Emma blinked a few times and giggling glanced at Regina who made a face and took a drink.
"Oh you guys don't count!" Ruby cried, "You never dated, not really!"
Regina shrugged, "I already drank, so there. Uhhmm, I've never had sex outside."
"Ginny, this is supposed to be a clean game!"
She rolled her eyes, "We were going to get here anyway."
"Okay, lets go there!" Ruby cried looking excited "I have never had sex with a hooker."
Mildly horrified and perhaps too honest Emma took a large sip of her drink before she thought about it.
"What?" They cried in unison.
"If it counts I didn't know that she was a hooker at the time I slept with her."
"How does that happen? Did you just hook up and then find out later that she was a hooker? Did she make you pay?" Ruby asked, shocked.
"Oh yes please." Regina said cunningly, "Do tell."
Emma humphed but told them, "Hanna has, um, unusual tastes. She likes things that are a little thrilling. Sex outside. With strangers. Threesomes. It has settled down a bit but in the beginning when we were casually dating she really enjoyed talking me into things. What?"
Regina and Ruby's face were slack with surprise though - perhaps there was a slight hint of disgust in Regina's.
"Continue." Ruby prompted, not to be distracted.
"There was this time a couple of years back when Hanna...and I...decided we were going to have a threesome. She told me one day that she found someone so we did it and only afterwards did she tell me that she had hired a hooker."
"Lovely, Em." Regina said dryly, "She's a real treasure."
"Hey!" Emma laughed pointing her finger at Regina, "Stop it."
"How was it?" Ruby asked in a harsh whisper, clearly intrigued.
"It was good I guess. Honestly it answered a little bit after I found out she was a hooker."
Both of the women fell over laughing at this.
"Oh shut up!"
"Oh, I have a good one!" Regina cried sitting up, laughing already. "I have never had a sexy nickname or a sex nickname of any kind."
Emma scoffed, "of course you haven't!" She took a long pull from her cup, "You're the kind of girl that gives them, that's why."
"Oh, whatever bitter sue." Ruby shoved her and Emma squeaked, "What was your nickname?"
Emma sighed, leaning back on her pillow throne and covering her face, "Hanna used to call me her sexy mouse."
"Oh god!" Regina groaned and blushed hard. Clearly she knew exactly why Emma had received the nickname.
"When did that start?"
"The first time we slept together."
"Awww," Ruby cooed.
Regina glared sipping her drink, "I've had enough Hanna talk, I think. Change the subject please."
"Hmmm, honest in her inebriation." Ruby observed.
"No," Regina snapped, "Just bored!"
They got up and danced for a while without argument before they whispered a drunken conversation about Hanna's strange behavior in serious and well meaning but frivolous voices.
When that got too heavy they got up to dance some more.
Ruby handed her a full glass and ordered her to drain it. She did without hesitation.
"Ginny, go!" Ruby yelped, demanding the return of the game.
"Okay, I've never slept with a ma"
"Last year when"
"Ginny?"
"Oh, oh! I know lets go dancing."
"Dancing? Where? We're in Storybr-"
"Come on it wil-"
"All right whe-"
"Come on, Em."
"Rabbit-"
"Yes, Ma."
"Em!"
"Whoo!"
She woke to a headache of a caliber she had not experienced since her early twenties. The room pitched and whirled as she rolled over and tried hard to focus on the quickly bouncing figure next to her.
"Oh god," she covered her eyes trying to hide from Regina on her elliptical in the corner of the room. "How can you do that right now? Ruby was right, you're a freak!"
"Well I had quite a bit to drink though apparently not quite as much as you. I also drank two bottles of water before bed, which you refused to do and ate my weight in carbohydrates last night. And if I want to keep this," Regina lifted her shirt that was plastered to her rib cage to reveal a tight abdomen, muscles lean and strong with a belly button that was only half an outie, "I have to do this."
"If I weren't so hung-over I think that would be a big turn on."
Regina laughed twitching her eyebrow in mock suggestion.
Shakily Emma drank a glass of coconut water from the fridge and decided Regina had the right idea. Work the last bit of alcohol out of your system. Slowly she pulled herself onto the rowing machine and unsuccessfully did her best to fall into step with Regina, sure she was in danger of being sick all over the floor of the den.
"How did I get here?" She asked, already feeling better as her blood began to pump.
"You don't remember getting here?"
"Not at all."
Regina laughed, clearly relishing drunken Emma memories. "Well I only kind of remember myself. I think we went to raise some hell at The Rabbit Hole and then walked back here. I'm not sure why, your mother's house is closer."
Emma shrugged and pushed a little harder, not to be out done by Regina.
"So is there anything specific you want to do in Boston today?"
"I don't know. I think maybe I am just along for the ride until dinner. It's Ingrid that has never been there."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I was thinking about one thing." She admitted sheepishly, "But I thought you guys could just drop me and I would go on my own."
"Oh? To do what?"
"I want a tattoo."
"What?" Regina smiled a little; she had been expecting shopping or perhaps a special meal. "What would you get?"
She thought for a minute, "No idea."
Regina laughed, "You should probably wait until you are sure, Em."
"I've always wanted a swan or maybe some type of crime fighting...thing"
"Where?"
"I'm not sure. Or maybe I should go and get a very expensive and amazing haircut and dye. How would I look as a redhead?"
"Like someone other than yourself."
"I just" she shook out her limbs and started on the machine again, "I feel like I would really enjoy a big change in some way today. Do you ever just wake up and feel like something about you needs to fucking change?"
"Mmm." Regina murmured noncommittally.
"What? Am I crazy? Is that not something that happens to other people?"
"What's going on with you, Em?"
"What do you mean?"
"I suppose I can't say exactly. I just feel as though sometimes I look at you and I can see you coming apart at the seams."
"That doesn't sound very good."
"Well I could be wrong. Though I don't think I am."
"Oh." Emma sighed, "I guess this trip has just been harder than I thought it would be. Also Hanna's kind of been terrible recently as you know."
"Yes, that is for sure."
"What does that mean?"
Regina bit something back - barely.
"What? Whatever you would like to say you should say, Gin."
"What I don't understand, Em" Regina was clearly trying to choose her words wisely, "is why you were okay with everything I've seen from your relationship. You dropped me the moment you thought I rejected you but-"
"She's never rejected me, Gin. She's the only person in my life who has never rejected me."
"Are you kidding me? She does it every day. She neglects you!"
"She does not!"
"Emma."
"No! Regina, you're wrong."
"Alright, fine." Regina cut, firing up. "I can't make your choices for you, as much as I would like to. But I can't help but to wonder; you have wanted to get married since we were teens. Is there any chance you're so busy in the search for a family of your own that you're blind to - your own level of happiness?"
"No." Emma said shakily, hitting double time on the machine.
"Are you happy with the way things are?"
"Right now? Of course not."
"Then please, explain to me why you haven't cut your losses? You could have been happy with someone else by now - perhaps."
"Is that what I'm supposed to do, Gin? Bail the moment things get hard? I was happy in my relationship four months ago. Things were different from how they seem to be now. She was completely different. She was so excited that we are getting married. I mean I knew it was going to be hard to be so far away from one another, maybe that's all it is. We have always been one of those couples that are happier and healthier when we can spend a lot of time together. I don't know why we didn't think of that before we made the plan of being apart for so long." With a grunt she flung the handle of the row machine away from her. It clattered loudly as she hopped to her feet. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."
Regina just pursed her lips.
"You know, Gin. You're acting like I should have bailed just because things have gotten hard. She has never bailed on me and I will not bail on her. She's flawed but she's mine, she's all I've got!"
Regina turned purple with fury but said nothing.
"I have been thinking" Emma said pacing and running her hands anxiously through her hair, "that maybe I need to go home for a week or two before the wedding. Kind of like a hi, remember me? We're supposedly getting married."
"You're thinking of leaving early?" Regina's voice was quiet after the harsh barks they had been swapping.
"I don't know, Gin. I feel like I need to go find out where the fuck my happiness went."
"So you guys were happy before she proposed?" Regina clarified.
"I think so, yea. We fought a lot. She was rarely home but all relationships are hard and take some work, right? No, I was not happy all of the time but that's life. There were some incidents but it was just that things were just never dull for us." She glanced at Regina who had gotten back up to full speed on the elliptical, "What?"
Regina pursed her lips, wiping her forehead with a cloth that hung on the machine, "I don't know darling, I know you think you're saying yes you were happy but it sounds like you weren't and honestly from everything I've heard from you she, well, she sounds a little bit like a jerk. She's bad for you."
"Ginny!" Emma cried, frustrated.
Regina threw her hands in the air, "Look it's all right if I'm wrong and I suppose I probably am. That's just the impression I got and you said I should say what I needed to."
"You're right, I did but she wasn't, is not a jerk. She is sweet to me and she takes care of me. And we are happy. I think that all of this new stress with her job is just kind of making her behave poorly which is why I think that I need to go home and see if I can help."
"And the bruises?"
"God damn it, Ginny! It's not what you think!"
When she looked at Regina again she was shocked to see that she was red in the face, a kettle about to scream. "Oh my god, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just feeling aggravated. Do you want to get on the road soon?"
"Sure. I would like to take a shower. Do you mind?"
"Of course not." Regina shrugged her off, heading for the door. "You know," she swung back around on Emma but Emma stood her ground, "In nineteen or twenty years of friendship you have never lied to me, Emma Nolan. Not once. It's a shame that you're starting now."
She left the room swiftly so that Emma had to yell after her, "I'm not lying, Regina!" She lied.
"I'm a doctor, Ms. Nolan! I've been trained to know exactly what I'm seeing."
The water of the shower clicked on, hushing Emma up completely.
She sat with a thump on the couch.
"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" She was so fucked.
They individually showered and dressed then they drove to Emma's mothers so Emma could retrieve her overnight bag.
"I nearly had a heart attack when I realized you weren't here this morning." Mary said kissing both good morning and then handed Henry to Emma.
"Sorry mom. I think we went out to The Rabbit Hole."
"You girls heading to Boston to see Hanna?"
"That's right." Regina answered stiffly, taking her son and kissing him good morning.
Emma sniffed.
"Uh oh." Mary said under her breath and disappeared into her room.
With a bag packed and a final reassurance that Mary was happy to watch the boy for the night they left, awkwardly cool with one another.
So far this was turning out to be one hellova trip, Emma thought to herself bitterly.
When they arrived at Ingrid's house they found their plans halted.
"Ingrid's sick." Regina said coming back out to the car, the anger on her face melted away.
"Really? Sick enough she shouldn't come?"
"I think so. She looked terrible."
Emma took Regina's hand and squeezed it, her heart hurting for the disappointment on Regina's face. "I'm sorry, Ginny but hey we can still go and have a lot of fun, right?"
Regina sighed, leaning against the car, "well if Ingrid isn't coming perhaps would you like to do the trip on your own? Perhaps that would give you more time with Hanna."
Or more time alone.
"No, I like the idea of a road trip."
Doing her best to cheer Regina up she put on a CD of silly pop artists of the 1990's and it didn't take long for the girls to begin giggling again. Their fight left in their tire tracks behind them.