Chapter 14-

Nick sat quietly on his bed, looking at Emily. She knew his secret, that scared him. She would be ashamed that she knew him. She would hate him.

But, Nick was wrong. Emily was immensely sadden at what Nick had done, but she wanted to help him. She threw her arms around him. "Nick, why? Why would you do this to yourself?"

She was crying and Nick couldn't take it. He didn't want her to be sad. But, it was too late he'd already done it. He knew she would forgive him, she had never judged before. She would understand if he had a reason. But, he didn't. Not one he could tell her. Nick returned Emily's hug and held her as she cried for him. His heart had turned cold, he didn't feel anything anymore. He was not sad, or scared, or ashamed, or anything. He just sat there holding the girl he loved, but he could never have.

Emily finished crying, sat up , wiped her face, and looked into Nick's eyes. She saw emptiness. "So, why did you do it?"

Nick shifted uncomfortably. "To feel something."

Emily hugged him again. She knew exactly what Nick meant. She ran her hand through Nick's hair. "You miss having someone to love, don't you?" Emily rocked him gently. "The right girl will come along eventually. Trust me."

Nick and Emily left Nick's room around half an hour later. They went outside to the party, and found Mitchel. Mitchel hugged Emily and looked at her like she was the most precious thing on the planet. Emily smiled, and Nick began to walk back inside.

"No, you don't Nicholas," Emily said as she ran over and stopped him. "You are staying out here where I can keep an eye on you."

Nick sighed but followed when Emily grabbed his arm and led him to where there were people dancing. He danced with her for a few songs, then went and sat on a chair. There was a magazine on the ground so he picked it up. Might as well do something. I can't go inside, Emily's still watching me. So he started to flip through the pages. He found a picture of him and Emily that was taken back when they were dating and the caption read ‛Has Emily found another boy toy?'. He laughed and continued to flip through the magazine. He found a picture of Joe and Miley kissing, the caption this time wasn't friendly, ‛Joe's dated younger girls before, but now he's an adult. One word, pedofile.' Nick threw the magazine into a trash can.

Emily came and sat next to Nick. "So, you feeling any better?"

Nick looked at her sadly. He wanted to make her happy, but he couldn't lie to her. He shook his head.

"That's not good," Emily said sadly, but not as sad as she had been. "I talked to Joe, I didn't tell him why, but I told him not to leave you alone. So your sleeping in his room for a while."

Nick sighed and faked a smile. "Alright."

"Now, last thing, what have you been using?"

Nick shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't look at Emily, they were his scissors he didn't want her to have them. Emily began to cry. "Wait, don't cry." Nick wiped her tears, "The scissors in my room. Happy, I told you." Nick sat back in his chair and sank down.

Emily hugged Nick. "I'm just doing this because I love you, you know that." She walked over to Mitchel, whispered something to him and went in the house.

It had been a week since Joe birthday. Nick had begun dressing like himself again, but he still didn't feel like himself. Joe gave him weird looks all the time. He hadn't told anyone but Joe, but he hid his scars well.

"Nick, can I wear your wristband?" Frankie asked.

"Uh, not right now." Nick answered watching TV.

Frankie gave him an evil look, "But I want to show Noah."

"Not right now Frankie." Nick answered aggravated.

Frankie reached over to take it. Nick moved his arm. Frankie managed to get a hold of it, but all he did was pull it further up Nick's wrist. "Nick, why are there scratches all over your arm?"

Nick looked at him with a panicked look. "Frankie, shhhh!"

But, Frankie was angry that Nick wouldn't let him where the wristband. "MOM!! Nick has scratches all up his arm!!"

Kevin, who was sitting on the couch talking to Carrie, looked over. "Call you back," he said into the phone. Then he turned it off and looked at Nick. "Nick, let me see your wrists."

Nick looked at him scared. He swallowed, he didn't want Kevin to know he'd been cutting himself.

"Nick. Let me see your wrists." Kevin said slowly and sternly.

Nick slowly turned his arms and brought them up. Kevin grabbed a hold on his arms and took off the wristbands and watches. Kevin looked into Nick's eyes, he was disgusted. Kevin threw Nick's arms down, shook his head, and stormed out of the room. Nick stood there, like in a daze.

"Nick, can I have the wristband now?" Frankie asked, afraid that Nick would yell at him.

Nick began to shake.

"Nick, are you alright?"

Mrs. Jonas came into the room. "Frankie, what did u say?"

"Mommy, Nick's broken!" Frankie looked up at Nick with fear in his eyes, but Nick couldn't stop shaking. His secret wasn't a secret anymore.

"Nick," his mother touched his arm. "Nicky?"

Nick's eyes filled his eyes.

"Mommy, his arms have cuts on them."

Nick's face was covered in tears as his mother took his wrists and looked at them. "Oh, no! Nicky, what have you done?"

Nick couldn't move without getting a dirty look. Every time someone looked at him, he felt ashamed. Now I feel something, Nick thought and rolled his eyes.

He stood up from the couch. "I'm going for a walk."

"No you're not," his mother contradicted him. "Not without someone going with you."

"Mom. I haven't cut in two weeks, leave me alone!" Nick screamed running out the door.

"Joe, run after him!" Joe did as his mother told him.

Nick was already turning the corner at the end of the street when Joe got outside. Nick was fast, but Joe was faster. When Joe caught Nick five blocks down, Nick broke down in tears.

Joe hugged Nick, panting. "Nick, it'll be alright."

"No it won't," Nick said trying to stop the tears. "You all think I'm a freak."

"Nick, calm down." Joe tried to comfort his little brother. "We're just scared. Things will be back to normal soon. I promise."

Nick was slightly calmer now. "Joe," he looked into his brother's eyes, "What if anyone finds out?"

Joe thought carefully, but couldn't think of a good answer. He hugged his brother again. "I don't know. But, you're my baby brother, and I'll protect you."

As it so happened, it was the same week when the press figured out about Nick's cutting and Emily's pregnancy. Of course, they thought it was directly related so all the headlines were along the lines of ‛Nick Jonas: Impregnated Emily Osment and is Cutting'.

The media went crazy and wouldn't leave Emily or Nick alone. So, they knew immediately when Emily spent the night at the Jonas household.

"The director woudn't let me stay there," Emily told Mrs. Jonas at the table at dinner. "The press was driving him crazy. And Nick said I could stay here."

"Okay, you're always welcome her sweetie," said Mrs. Jonas with a sweet smile on her face. "Why didn't Mitchel come?"

"He's got an interview in Oklahoma." Emily took a secondhelping of mashed potatoes and gravy. "We shot the last scene in three days."

"Okay, well the boys leave the day after tomorrow, we've been working on getting them back on tour. Something for Nick to do."

Nick blushed. "Mom!"

Mrs. Jonas rolled her eyes and Emily giggled.

By Miley birthday, the press were bored with Nick's cutting and had gotten it straight that Emily was pregnant with Mitchel's kid. Not as good of a story, but it still made it harder for either of them to get jobs with Disney.

Miley's Sweet Sixteen was a big event, since she was still Disney's big star. Miley arrived with Emily, who was showing now. It was a great party, everyone was back to normal.