Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. It is the intellectual property of Square Enix and Buena Vista Games.
When a person looks at light and darkness, they see two very separate entities, completely independent of each other. They could never fathom just how intertwined the two are, how in reality they are parts of one single entity. But, where does light end and darkness begin? I cannot begin to guess, nor can anyone else. If someone thinks they know where the two meet, they are naught but a fool. The line between the two is indistinguishable, and by the time a person has found that they are crossing over to the other side, the threshold between light and darkness has already been crossed. I can speak from experience. Perhaps the turning point was where I chose darkness over light in the Netherworld, but to think so would be foolishness, for it would be stating where the border between light and dark was. It wasn't then, nor can I really quite point at any event and say that it was then when I turned to darkness. I can't even say that I have turned to darkness, but I know that I am in danger of doing so. Every day more and more light fades within me, and the darkness of my heart grows stronger. What little light remains merely encourages my transition to darkness.
Perhaps some would say that I'm fooling myself, attempting to convince myself that no one truly knows about the borders between light and darkness merely to hide the truth from myself. What truth? I ask them. There is no truth in my life, not anymore. Sora is no longer the friend I once knew, but a living lie, playing the role of savior, when in reality all he does is destroy. Destroy my hopes, destroy my dreams, and destroy all that was once great. Even I live a lie, failing to stay true to what I am. I was always confident, but at the same time I had some sense of honor, almost in a chivalric way. More importantly, I was nobody's slave. Now I stab people in the back and spread the will of others, while drowning out what little remains of my true self. Or perhaps my false self, for my truth is being warped, with truth being lies and lies being truths. As always, I don't really know.
That's the real problem for me. I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what is right and what is wrong, what is truth and what is deception, what Maleficent is planning, and above all, I don't know where Kairi is. The one thing that actually still matters to me now is finding her, but I haven't made the least bit of progress on that task. In so many ways I've failed.
But why lament what is done? As it is, I have more important things to do. Find the door to the heart of the world. Not too hard a task, Maleficent assured me, but who does she thinks she's kidding? An entire world, and only one door. Finding it wouldn't be merely difficult, but nigh impossible!
And yet, when has the impossibility of a task deterred me? Never. I stubbornly press on instead, refusing to give up, refusing to give in. All strength starts with strength of will, not strength of mind, body, or even heart. Even though a great portion of my will has disappeared into the ether as of late, I still find strength, though even I cannot understand where it comes from. Another thing that remains unknown to me.
Of course, even with that willpower, I still can feel frustrated. And after ten hours of futilely searching, frustration has welled up within me and then overflowed the limits of my restraint. To compound my problems, Sora showed up, yet Maleficent explicitly told me not to go near him. Something about a wrong place and a wrong time for vengeance.
Quite naturally, fate has made sure to tempt me to do just that. Here I am, stuck in the Cave of Wonders, sitting near a door that will not open. This door was the latest in a series of doors that got my hopes up, then turned out to be a no go. I would've left immediately after Maleficent told me it was not the door, but something about it resonates within me. Some sense of familiarity, like the aura was similar to one I encountered before. It is quite weak, but still it is present, and each time I attempt to leave, that aura seems to manifest itself with incredible strength for just a moment, calling out to me, beckoning me to it. An irresistible lure.
I think that it is the door to the heart of the world.
"You little brat! Why are you still here?!" The anger present on his face makes Jafar look almost comical, and the stifled snickers only add to that rage. I do have to show restraint in front of Maleficent though. I've come to learn that she dislikes insolence in any way, shape, or form. Still, it has become very difficult to not laugh at Jafar, whose idiocy and incompetence are diluted amongst his incredible luck. Somehow he has gained Maleficent's favor, though not her approval. Maleficent still disagrees with his methods. He must have done something to put that fact into relative obscurity. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that beside him is the slumped form of a young woman. Another Princess of Heart, quite obviously. Maleficent looked displeased enough that Jafar had gotten to her before I had. The end result was the same, so she must have disagreed with the means. Why though, I didn't know, and this was one time when I didn't want to know.
The item of most interest is the rather glum blue spirit next to Jafar. A genie, Jafar called it. It would grant any three wishes. Jafar seemed rather inclined to waste his wishes. Were I to have such an all-powerful being at my disposal, I already know what I would wish for, but perhaps even omnipotence would not be enough to grant them. In fact, I know that it would take far more than being all-powerful to grant the deepest desires of my heart. But really, I suppose no desire of the heart can be granted, for the heart is an individual entity that no amount of power can affect. It is impossible to place, or perhaps remove, love into the heart, or any other emotion at that. The heart is really the ultimate weakness of everybody, for it is uncontrollable. Thoughts can be controlled, physical actions can be controlled, but what hope do humans have of not realizing fear when going against death, or joy when one of those elusive desires becomes reality. None at all. Humans are unpredictable creatures, for they themselves cannot predict their actions. All because of the heart. Such weaknesses are why I need to cast aside the heart, become a so-called "shell", yet be far superior to anyone else. Maybe then I could stand up to Maleficent and maybe, just maybe, I could do what I've wanted to do all along.
"You…street rat! Answer me!" I look at Jafar with an air of nonchalance, and then proceed to smirk. Watching him become more enraged then ever at first fills me with the uncontrollable need to laugh, and after repressing that instinct I decide to tell him just why.
"Because…this is the door you've been looking for." Hearing this, Jafar quite simply goes ballistic.
"Enough of this! You fool! I don't know why you're being so insolent, but respect those who know far more about the hearts of worlds than you could ever imagine knowing! This is not the door, and I'll prove it once and for all! GENIE!" By the time Jafar finishes talking, Maleficent has also adopted a look of contempt.
"End this pathetic squabble now." Maleficent says, with her usual calmness. "It is unfitting that there be infighting amongst us. Our ranks dwindle, as does our strength. Apparently, so does our sensitivity to the world around us. The child wielding the key comes nearer, and neither of you felt his presence. Riku! Be gone! We cannot afford the keybearer seeing you." With a quick flick of her hand Maleficent casts some sort of incantation, and everything disappears, replaced by the void.
"So many times now. So many times have you been sent into darkness, and so many times have you resisted it. Some small amount of light still remains, undiminished despite the total eclipse of the rest of your heart. Some core emotion remains, and it is what keeps you from collapsing. But what emotion? What emotion could resist darkness?" I lift my eyes open, and am unsurprised to see the cloaked man in front of me, almost invisible amongst the darkness.
Or, is it really darkness? I can't really tell. I can almost see faint outlines amongst the darkness, but they might as well be hallucinations.
"Welcome back Riku. Welcome to the place that doesn't truly exist, yet the existent still come here. No light is within this place, yet light is still brought within. A place of contradictions, a world in between all others. I studied this world briefly. Once, when all three components were within me, I sought to learn about this place, this area which neither light nor darkness can pierce, yet light and darkness still comes within. However, never could I have imagined this. To you, it is all a void, nondescript darkness, yet to me, there is more here than I ever saw before, in that world you and so many others cling desperately to. Entire cities rest here; cities that make any towns of the present world appear insignificant, yet you see none of it, remaining blind to all.
"But what could blind you, the person who has seen truth for what it is? How could the person who found out that within lies there was the ultimate truth be blind? Surely, there could be nothing stopping you from seeing the truth of this world, to stop you from looking at the lies this world presents and finding the inherent truth. Is it that you've stopped looking for the lies within truth, and thus become unable to eliminate possibilities? Or is it that you have all three components? The body, soul, and heart are all present within you, and this denies you the third power that is required to exist, or really not exist, in this world. But to see in this world, is the third power truly necessitated? Is it that vital that you be able to have the power beyond light and darkness?
"Such a thing cannot be. I am now and forever shall be a being of darkness, yet I can see this world for what it is. I can see every detail. I cannot truly exist in this world like you can, but those who belong here cannot exist anyways, for they are non-existent. Is it your existence here that prevents you from seeing? It must be, for in this world of contradictions only those who don't exist can truly exist here. If so, what causes that existence? What is the true source of your blindness?
"It is your heart that blinds you, or more accurately what light remains within blinds you. I am an existence solely of the heart, but without light, I can see the true depth of this world. Soon enough, Riku, you too will see this world for what it is. Soon enough, that light shall be drowned out in an unending sea of darkness.
"Soon enough, you'll be without a heart."
Author's Note-Whew! I pretty much just sat in front of the computer and did a marathon session to write this. I wound up delaying the inevitable scripted scenes…again. Maybe I'm just trying to lengthen the story? Who knows? All that I know is that after going so long without an update for what is easily my most popular story, I needed to do something! The pressure was on, and it was thicker than pea soup, or is that fog? It actually came together rather well though. It can easily take me hours upon hours to complete a chapter, I usually average five hours per chapter just because I have to search within the depths of my mind for something to write, yet this one just came to me. Took me an hour and a half. Still a fairly long time for 1900 words (so close to 2000), but for me it's really quick. I put off updating this until after I was completely over writer's block, and time-wise it's paid off. Good or bad thing? I truly do wonder. Please tell me. And a HUGE thank you to everyone who's reviewed this! You're the ones who keep me going. To everyone who reads but doesn't review, I grudgingly thank you for at least giving this a chance. That is all.