Ponyboy's P.O.V.

Johnny squeezed his eyes shut and looked like he was in pain when he came. It's kinda funny, pleasure and pain look so similar.

There was just enough light coming in through the window that I could barely make out his features. I watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the way he clutched at the bedspread beneath him.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked at me, more open and innocent than I've ever seen him look. I kissed him, slow and soft.

I could hear the music from downstairs, mostly base but sometimes the melody would float up. I opened my eyes and saw that Johnny's were lightly closed, black lashes laying against his cheeks.

I wanted to fuck him. That desire was twisted up with fear and both pulled me in different directions. I tugged at his jeans, meaning to slide them off.

"No," he said softly, and pulled the jeans up.

"Aw, c'mon Johnny, you'll like it," I said, my voice as soft as his, and I kissed him again, laced my fingers through his.

"I promise I'll stop if it hurts," I said, my eyes half closed, and I tugged on the jeans again. I'd heard Dal say that to plenty of unwilling girls.

"O.K.?" I said. He pushed me away, backed away.

"No," he said again. His eyes were glassy, glazed, and his breathing was rapid and shallow, and he looked so...I don't know...fuckable. I licked my lips, I wanted to ignore that "no" he didn't mean anyway, take those stupid jeans of his off and just, just...

Then someone pounded on the door making us both jump. Johnny hurridly buttoned his jeans.

"Johnny! Ponyboy! Y'all in here!" Two bit. Even in the half dark of this room I could see Johnny's cheeks reddening and a thought flashed in my head like a prayer or a spell, 'he didn't catch us,'

He burst in. I was sitting on the end of the bed and Johnny was leaning against the headboard. We both looked nonchalant, casual.

"Ponyboy, you are screwed," Two bit informed me with something like glee. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why?"

"Ya know that kid Jeff we got a ride here with? Well, he left. Darry's gonna kill you if you stay here all night,"

I swallowed, the fear I should have had of Darry all along returned like a dash of cold water. Two bit and Johnny didn't look all that worried.

"Oh, shit," I said, and lit a cigarette. I caught Johnny's longing look and tossed him one.

"I'll call Soda," I said, brightening at this thought, "he can drive all three of us home,"

"You think Soda's gonna drive all the way to hell out to Brumly? Shoot, kid, I thought you had more sense than that,"

"Damn it, Two bit! Whaddya think, he'll just leave us here? He won't mind, he likes to drive,"

I made my way down to the kitchen where the only phone was. The music still pulsed obscenely all around us. Johnny kind of sank into a kitchen chair and he looked tired. I dialed my number.

"Hello?" Soda. Thank God.

"Soda, it's Pony. Listen, I kinda got stranded at a party out in Brumly. Could you come pick me up?"

"So that's where you are? Darry's out hunting for you right now. Pony, he's gonna kill you, he=" And then I heard a racket like maybe he dropped the phone or something.

"Ponyboy," It was Darry. He sounded so much like Dad that I had a weird déjà vu kind of feeling. It was like he wasn't my brother at all.