Three weeks.
Thor had been going to his meetings, taking his medication and going back to his room. Romey and Oliver were worried about him, he could tell. He just couldn't find it in him to care. Everything reminded him of Loki.
On the plus side, he'd had no hallucinations. Except for a few flames out of the corner of his eye the week Loki left but they eventually stopped when they boosted his meds. They had then slowly weaned him off the medication and had been off it for a week now. So far so good.
Odin and Frigga had visited frequently to check on him, they were worried too. They could see how much he cared about Loki and how much he still does.
Merrick smiled as he entered the office. "Thor! Good news!" He stood up to shake his hand then gestured to a chair before seating himself.
"Good news?" Thor's eyes lit up with hope. Maybe Loki had gotten in contact with him somehow.
"You're pretty much cured!"
That wasn't what he was hoping for but it was good news all the same and Thor kept the smile on his face. "Great!"
"I'm going to give you a prescription for the meds you've been receiving here just in case you have any hallucinations while you're out. After two weeks I want you to report back here for another check and feel free to call whenever you need anything or you have any problems."
Thor's brow furrowed. "You make it sound like I'm leaving today…"
Merrick smiled again. "Your parents are waiting for you out front."
Thor's eyes widened and he grinned.
As he packed his stuff he looked over at Loki's bed and stopped. What if Loki wrote to him? He only had the institute's address. This is the only place Loki can talk to him. He doesn't know his home address. He cursed under his breath but decided to just come back at least once a week to "talk to Merrick" and casually asked if he had any mail.
Thor nodded. That'd have to do.
He went out to meet his parents after a hug from Romey and Oliver and a heartfelt goodbye as well as the promise that Thor would visit them or write to them.
Frigga attack hugged Thor and Odin smiled from behind her. They drove home and Odin got the key to let them into the house.
"Welcome home, Son," He stepped back and let Thor in. Thor looked around and smiled. It was exactly how me remembered it. It even smelt the same. Like the freshly baked cookies his mother always seemed to be in endless supply of.
He dropped his bag and turned to pull both his parents into a hug. "It's good to be back."
Thor called up Volstagg and he called the others up for them to all meet at the park.
When Thor got there they were all already there. Sif's arm was still in a pot and Thor felt a twinge of guilt but her bright smile wiped it out.
They all hugged and said they were glad he was sane again, they all laughed and exchanged stories of what Thor had missed.
"So anyway, how was life in the mad house?" Fandral asked, smiling at Thor as he finished the beer they had poured into MacDonald's coke containers. Thor's smile faultered and he felt guilty again.
This time because he was having fun, he was smiling and laughing and not thinking about Loki. He briefly wondered if Loki was having fun…
"Dull. Everyone is pretty crazy in there." Thor laughed, not wanting to tell them he'd engaged in a homosexual relationship with a psychotic, pyromaniac boy with serious family issues. He told them about Romey and Oliver and a few other patients as well as Taylor but didn't mention Loki.
As the conversation turned to Hogun's karate tournament next week, Thor contemplated how Loki might be right now. His grandfather was rich so he probably had everything he could ask for… He just hoped he was happy.
It's safe to say that, no, Loki was not happy. He was currently down a back ally in south London delivering a message to some not-very-nice people. He was wearing a black, tight leather jacket and skin tight black jeans with black, leather, knee high biker boots with buckles up them. He took the paper from the fat, bald man with the ugly scar across his face and saluted before walking back down the ally, ignoring the eyes he could feel on his but couldn't see.
At least he didn't have to talk. Anthony had told a few people Loki was a mute and it had spread until everyone took it as fact. This, for some reason, made people interested in Loki. He didn't really care if people stared at him or whispered behind his back, wondering if he was born a mute or if something traumatic happened in his past. If anything, it amused him that they were so easily fooled by it when in actual fact he just believed they were all below him and he didn't want to grace them with a conversation.
Let them believe what they want as long as I don't have to talk to them. This was safer anyway, at least no one is beating me for info about about Anthony.
Turns out, dear old granddad was a gang boss. And a pretty fucking influential one. On the plus side, jobs like this that would be dangerous for any other messenger wasn't quite as dangerous for Loki since there are very few people who would be willing to risk it.
On the down side, however, there was no way around the man. If he wanted to know what Loki was doing at any given time he would know. So no chance to write to Thor. But he was figuring something out.
Loki slipped into the Limo waiting outside the ally for him and nodded to the driver to take him back to the estate. He refused to refer to it as home.
When they got back, the gate guard told him that Anthony wished to see him immediately in his study.
Loki sighed and made his way through the labyrinth of hallways to the study in question. He knocked on the heavy wooden doors and heard Anthony's voice call out.
"Loki, come in."
Loki pushed the doors open and held up the paper. "Message received, their own message delivered." Anthony snatched the paper off him and growled at whatever it said as Loki took his jacket off to show his short sleeved, dark red t-shirt and dumped it the jacket on an overstuffed burgundy armchair.
Anthony crumpled up the paper. "I'll deal with that later. What's this?" He lifted up the blanket covered object that was in a chest at the foot of his bed for the past three years. Loki's eyes widened a fraction then he shrugged.
"Nothing important. Why?"
Anthony uncovered it and glared at Loki. "Why would you keep this shit?!" He dropped it on the floor and kicked it beneath his desk then grabbed Loki's collar.
Loki blocked out the rest.
The next thing he remembers is waking up on the floor of the study, surrounded by his own blood with a pounding headache.
He crawled over to the desk and sighed in relief when the item was still under there. He wrapped it back up in the cloth then draped his jacket over it so that no one got suspicious then quickly made his way back to his room where he hid in under a loose floorboard. Obviously the back of the closet wasn't a good enough hiding place anymore.
He got some paper and a pen and started writing out the fiftieth letter to Thor he had attempted. He could never figure out what to say.
He took a deep breath and wrote, not noticing the little droplets of blood staining the page from either his nose or the gash on his forehead. He folded it up and slipped it in an envelope with the Niflheim Psychiatric institute's address written on it then zipped it up in his coat pocket.
That night, after Anthony went to bed, Loki slipped into the control room which was full of monitors showing coverage of every room and space on the estate including Loki's room which he thought was kind of creepy. The guard was always asleep by midnight so Loki could easily manoeuvre around him to slip the video takes into the monitors showing the past hour-hour on a loop before slipping back out again.
He opened the gate slowly so as not to let it creak and awake the guard dogs and closed it behind him then set off in a run to the town. Loki dropped the letter into the post box then ran back.
When he got back he got back to the front door and froze when he saw the lights in the house on. Loki tried to sneak in but his Grandfather was waiting by the door, glaring at him.
Loki groaned as he was grabbed by the collar. Again.
"Thor! To what do we owe the pleasure?" Taylor grinned at the blonde as he walked into the reception area.
Thor thought about to lie about seeing Merrick or something but thought Taylor deserved honestly.
"Do I have any mail here for me…?"
Taylor smiled and nodded. That simple gesture turned Thor into a child at Christmas, giddy to receive his gift. Only instead of a firetruck, he was getting a letter from his psycho boyfriend…
Taylor handed him the envelop and he tore it open then froze and so did Taylor. On the paper inside was droplets of brownish red stuff which reminded Thor of when he had a nosebleed at a theme park and had to use paper instead of tissue.
He shakily unfolded the paper and read the elegant scrawl.
Dear Thor.
Sorry I haven't written yet, I've been busy. You know, adjusting to life in England. And working for the mafia…
Yeah, you read that right. Anthony is a gang boss and a big one at that. So I've been delivering messages and getting shot at for the past few weeks. No injuries so far though. Well, not from them. From Anthony on the other hand…
But let's not get into that. How are you? If you're still at the institute say hi to Romey and Oliver for me. If you're home then you can either reply to this but send it to my PO box, not the house (the PO box address is at the bottom of the page) or you can just… not… If I don't get a reply then I'll leave you alone, I won't keep writing, I'll accept your decision and leave you to your life.
Remember when we first met I showed you that wrapped up thing in my chest? But I didn't show you what was wrapped up? It's a book my mother made for me, all handwritten. It's brown leather bound and had brownish pages, she ran a tea bag over them to make them look ancient. It's full of stories about Loki and Thor and Odin and a bunch of other Norse gods.
If I send you it… something bad will happen. That book is… it's my life. If I give it up its because I really have to so… If I need to give it up you'll be my first option of places to send it. But don't feel bad about it, whatever happens to me is my own fault. If you can't help me I can't blame you, I will never blame you. I don't expect you to help me. In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't, it's too dangerous.
Yeah, I'm getting a little woozy right now, loss of blood and all.
I hope to hear from you again but if not… have a good life. I'll always love you.
Loki.
Thor stared at the paper. He was hurt. Loki was being hurt and there's nothing he could do to stop it. Nothing he can do to save him or comfort him. Taylor had left to give him some privacy and Thor didn't bother going to find him. Instead he just left. He went home and he reread the letter so many times he could recite it word-for-word.
He glared at the bottom of the paper where Loki said he was going to write the address of the PO box, he must have forgotten.
Thor wrote a letter back to him, begging for more details about Anthony and the injuries. He debated calling the police but they were in a different country, what can they do?
Two days later there was a knock at the door and Taylor was stood there with a package for Thor.
Odin gave him it and Thor opened it in the kitchen.
His heart stopped.
There was no letter, no note, just a brown leather bound book with yellowed pages.