Season 9

Chapter 14

Mac's apartment

After her fight with Sadique Fahd

Mac entered her apartment, she took off her coat and felt a slight sting in her left shoulder. It was probably bruised by now. She dropped the coat on the floor and walked over to her answering machine. It was blinking. She pushed the button. There was three messages waiting on her:

"Hi Mac. Everything okay? I tried your cellphone, but didn't come through. I'm worried. I love you. Call me."

"Hi Mac. It's me again. What's going on? I'm starting to freak out. I love you and call me as soon as you can."

"Where are you Mac? I'm going insane here. If I haven't heard from you in thirty minutes I'm coming over. I love you."

Mac turned away from the machine and walked to her bedroom, she slowly removed her clothes before looking in the mirror. The left shoulder had a big blue bruise and the right side of her upper lip was twice its normal size. She turned away from the mirror and walked into her bathroom.

Five minutes into the shower she heard her name being called. She finished the shower quickly and turned the water off before wrapping herself in a towel.

"Mac! Are you in here?" Harm bursed into her bedroom. "Mac? I was scared to death."

"I'm fine Harm."

"Your lip." Harm cupped her face. "Your shoulder." He looked panicked. "Did Sadique do this?"

Mac stepped away from him. "I'm fine Harm. He's dead."

"What happened?" Harm questioned.

"It doesn't matter." Mac dried herself off before putting on a pyjama. "How's your hearing?"

"It's okay, I can hear just fine now. I'm a little dizzy now and then and there's some ringing in my ears, but that's normal according to my Doctor." Harm watched as Mac sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm fine Harm." Mac responded quickly.

"If you want to talk, I'm here." He sat down beside her.

"I just want to forget about it." She continued to stare right in front of her.

"Mac..."

"You should leave." She stood quickly. "I have an early debriefing tomorrow morning."

"I can stay if you..."

"No, I want some time alone." Mac picked up the clothes she had been wearing earlier that night and threw them into the garbage bin.

Harm stood as well. "Call me if you need me."

Mac nodded. "I will." But as she said it she knew she wouldn't call him.

Harm walked out of her room and into the living room.

Mac followed him. "I'll see you at JAG tomorrow."

"Maybe you should take some time off." Harm suggested.

"I'm fine Harm, I'll see you at JAG." Mac opened the front door.

Harm stepped out into the hallway. "I'll see you tomorrow.

Mac closed the door and leaned against it, she felt tears in her eyes, she slid down and sat on the floor. She buried her head in her knees and cried.

The next day

JAG Headquarters

Mac was in her office staring out the window. The Admiral hadn't been to pleased when she refused to take time off, but she didn't care. There was no way she could sit at home without anything to do. She needed to keep herself busy, she was feeling to restless to sit still. Every time she closed her eyes she could see his face, smell him and hear his voice. Week, barren, whore. Three words forever marked into her mind.

"Hi Mac, everything okay?" Harm studied her. He knew her shoulder had to hurt and her lip didn't look good either.

"I'm fine." She grabbed a file from her desk. "Just working on the case we just got. My client will be here soon."

"You rushed out of the Admiral's office so fast, are you sure you're up to this?" Harm was worried about her behaviour. It was like she was fighting everyone she talked to.

"I'm fine Harm. God, will you just stop nagging." Mac snapped.

"I'm worried about you." Harm tried to stay calm.

"Well don't waste your energy on me, I'm fine." Mac gave him an impatient glare.

"I'm here if you need me." Harm turned and left her office.

Mac let out a releaved breath. She was so sick of people treating her as if something was wrong, why couldn't everybody just leave her alone and let her do her job?

Mac's apartment

Later that day

Mac opened her door and found Clayton Webb outside. "Webb?"

"I came to check up on you." He stepped inside.

"I'm fine." Mac watched Webb sit down on her sofa and bring out a bottle of scotch.

"Do you have a glass?" Webb opened the bottle.

Mac went to the kitchen and brought a glass with her back to the living room. She gave it to Webb before sitting down in the chair opposite him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when Sadique showed up." Webb filled his glass.

"No problem." Mac responded.

Clay finished the glass and filled another one. "I don't like that you had to take care of it by yourself. You're a very brave woman, Sarah."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Funny, that's what Sadique said."

"He wanted to weaken you and make you feel like you needed him. It's part of his act." Clay finished the scotch and refilled his glass again.

"What? So now I fell for his act? You know what Clay, why don't you and your agency go to hell." Mac stood. "It can't be easy for you to stand by and watch while the pretty little woman do the man's job."

"I don't like that I didn't finish the job." Clay admitted.

"He would have killed you Clay." Mac pointed to his glass. "He had the upper hand on you from Paraguay, look at you; travelling with a bottle. Should you even be in the field?"

Clay stood and pointed the bottle at her. "I always have a clear head when I'm working and I always finish the job."

"Not this time Clay, I had to do it for you." Mac crossed her arms over her chest. "Looks like Sadique was right; I'm stronger than most men."

"Yeah, you are." Clay went for the door. "But don't let that strength ruin for you. Be strong enough to ask for help when you need it."

"You think I need a shrink?" Mac opened the door for him.

Clay nodded. "I see the signs Sarah."

"Did you talk to someone? After Paraguay?" Mac questioned.

"It's company policy." Clay stepped into the hallway. "Get some help Sarah." Then he turned and walked down the hallway.

Mac closed the door and leaned her back towards it; she saw the glass of scotch on the table and felt the familiar need to drink.

She walked over to the table, lifted the glass up and smelled the content. She heard Sadique's voice in her head; week, barren, whore. She threw the glass towards the door and saw it break into a million pieces. There was no way Sadique would hold any power over her