Chapter 14
Ezra
Ezra felt completely drained, happy when his day had ended. His long strides were brisk as he walked across the teacher's parking lot to get to his vehicle. He had so much to grade, tests, essays, and student autobiographies, among other things. He didn't want to think about that right now, didn't want to think about all the work that promised to be a daunting task. There were days when he loved being a teacher, and then there were days when he didn't. He stretched, getting the cricks out his back before he hopped into the Ford Fusion, and then headed in the direction of his home.
He craved a smoke, but he avoided the temptation. He had to quit, for him, and for Aria's sake. She had said she didn't mind him smoking but he knew she was just being nice. He didn't want her to be afraid to tell him how she really felt. He was a big boy, he could take it. He didn't want a relationship like that. A relationship, did he really just say that? He and Aria hadn't discussed what they were to one another.
It wasn't just sex, or because he felt sorry for her. It was because he loved her, wanted a life with her. He knew he had to take into account that she was younger than him, that she was his student and he was her teacher, and that she was still currently in high school. All those things factored in. He couldn't just ignore them. It wouldn't be right.
He refused to break Aria's heart by hiding their relationship like some dirty little secret. What they had between them wasn't ugly. He wouldn't just throw her to the wolves, have her be ridiculed and gawked at. She already had too much of that as it was. He loved her too much to do that to her. He didn't care if he lost his job.
Aria was all he wanted. He could always teach somewhere else, some place far from Rosewood. He had never considered Rosewood his home. Yes, he could leave. He could take Aria and leave. There were so many other places they could go. But would Aria want that? Would she run off with him? Could she leave behind all the people she loved? Did she love him that much to do that? He knew he did.
He wouldn't make the decision for her. He would never do that. It wasn't his to make. He would give her the choice, the choice to choose what she wanted. He didn't normally believe in fate, but he believed in Aria, believed in what they had. What he felt for her was strong; it went so deep, beyond the physics. He had never fallen so hard for someone before, not even Jackie had this pull over him.
He didn't fear loving Aria, didn't fear she would ever betray him the way Jackie had. He trusted her, trusted her with his heart. He knew she was the one, the one he wanted to be with. He wanted to marry her, to have children with her. Was he crazy to think it, to want those things with her even if it was possible? They could last, could have a nice life together. But, she had to want it, had to want him.
Ezra would never pressure her into choosing what he wanted. It wasn't just about him, it was about her too. He valued her opinion. He valued so much about her. Wanting to be with her didn't just have to make sense to him, but to her as well. They both had to make choices, to decide what they wanted.
His right hand twitched on the steering wheel as his left hand raked through the soft locks that fell down around his shoulders. He was going through withdrawal. The need to have a cigarette was becoming great as he tried to focus on the road in front of him. Without taking his eyes from the road, he found a stick of gum and popped it into his mouth and chewed hungrily on the Nicotine gum. The twitching of his hand stopped. He was grateful, at least for now.
He hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Aria alone today. He had wanted to. He had wanted to do a lot of things, mainly kiss her. Kissing her gave him great pleasure. She was so pretty, so wonderful to be around. He loved making love to her, being inside her. He could make love to her every day of the week, for the rest of his life.
He stopped at the market to pick up two chicken salad subs with tomatoes, provolone cheese and lettuce, and mayonnaise. He didn't have the time or the energy to make supper tonight. He placed his car keys down on the counter, then he went to go store the subs in the refrigerator, and then he began grading papers. By the time he was finished, his hands were hurting and his eyes were tired. He jumped into the shower and hoped it would help his badly abused body. It didn't.
Ezra tugged the shirt down over his head as he heard a knock at the door. He was sleepy as he moved towards the door sluggishly. He didn't think he could eat anything. He ran fingers through his hair, before giving his head a wild shake, and then he opened the door. Aria greeted his eyes, made him smile. He was no longer tired as he took her hand and pulled her inside his apartment.
She was so short compared to him, so small, dainty in all her grace. She made a pretty picture in a flowing shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans. Her beautiful feet were covered in low heel boots. His hands wrapped around her slender neck as he dragged her closer to his body, lowering his forehead to hers as he inhaled her scent. He groaned as the honeysuckles and freshness fragrance welcomed his nose. He loved the way she hugged him back, the way her arms squeezed him tight as her fingers clawed at his shirt.
He could hold her all night. He dipped his mouth to hers, hearing a slight catch in her breath as her nails dug into his back as he brushed his mouth across hers. He loved the way she tasted. He had to have more. He pressed harder against her lips, loving how she opened her mouth to him. He pushed his tongue inside to meet hers; grazing it against hers as she moaned thirstily as though she wanted more of him. He gave her what she wanted as his kisses deepened, dragging his mouth along hers as gasping breaths left her pretty mouth.
Ezra pulled back so she could breathe, running his fingers down her soft pale cheeks. He was glad she had come. He had wanted to see her. He hadn't wanted to take the risk of calling her at home. He hated to get her in trouble with her parents. He wouldn't have been able to lie. He didn't want to lie about his reasons for wanting to speak to Aria.
He wasn't ashamed of what they had, of what they were to one another. Being with her wasn't a mistake. Falling in love with her wasn't a mistake either. He knew what mistakes were, and this wasn't one. He didn't want to have to hide what they had, their love. What they had it was real, what he felt was real.
He didn't want to let go of her, needing her to remain close to him. She didn't want to let go of him either. He could feel the beating of her heart, the way it matched the beat of his. He kissed her neck, and then he kissed her shoulder, loving how she grabbed his head to keep it there. He listened to the way she breathed, the way her breath ruffled his ear. Loving her felt so right, they felt right together.
"Hi, I'm glad you came," Ezra said in his deep scratchy voice as he drew back. "I wanted to see you".
"Hi," Aria echoed as she wet her pouty red lips. "I needed to see you too".
Her voice gave him chills.
"Are you hungry?" he asked against her lips as he kissed her profoundly with a tenderness that had her trembling against him. "I brought an extra chicken salad sub from the market".
She smiled, loving his thoughtfulness.
"No, I-I'm not hungry," Aria stammered cutely, her voice quivering as she fought to remain clearheaded. It was proven hard to do when he kissed her like that. "I love being in your arms, love the way you hold me".
He loved it too.
"Only if you're sure," Ezra said as he kissed her again, slowly brushing his mouth back and forth on hers. "Would it sound crazy if I said I feel the same exact way?"
"I am," she uttered a moan, breathing hard through her mouth. "And no, it wouldn't".
He didn't want to ruin their moment, but he had to tell her about his part in the car accident, the accident that had killed Wesley and the one that had left her blind. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to be honest with her. He couldn't keep it a secret from her anymore. She had the right to know. His stomach twisted in knots at the thought of her hating him. He needed her forgiveness. He craved it like air he breathed.
"There's something I haven't told you, something you need to know". He swallowed hard before continuing, "I'm responsible for the car accident. I killed Wes, and then I took your sight away".
She stiffened in his arms as her pretty face crumbled.
"What are you saying?" her voice was quiet, only a whisper as she wet her lips again. "Wesley was drinking. He had too much to drink".
He hated the frozen look on her face.
"What I'm saying, is I'm the real reason Wes was drunk that night at the party," Ezra spoke stiffly as the words lodged themselves inside his throat. It was hard, but he had to get them out. "I got into an argument with our father, my step-mother, and Wes. I said some pretty awful things to him. I hadn't meant them, I was just so angry. And before I could take any of those words I said back, he was already gone".
Realization marred her pretty face as she digested his words.
"No, don't blame yourself," Aria said as she cupped his face, her slim fingers stroking the side of his face. "You didn't force the alcohol down Wesley's throat. You didn't choose that, he did. He also chose to get behind the wheel drunk and I chose to ride home with him that night. Wesley and I are the only ones to blame".
She placed two fingers on his mouth to silence his unspoken words. She didn't want to hear anymore. She could1n't stand him blaming himself for the car accident. He hadn't been the one responsible. It wasn't right for him to take blame for her and Wesley's actions; they had been the only ones at fault. She wouldn't do that to him, she wouldn't allow him to shoulder all the blame. She wouldn't feel right doing so.
"I get that you said awful things to Wes, but you didn't mean them. There were only spoken out of anguish. I'm sure he knew you didn't mean anything by them". It was all she could do to keep him from holding himself responsible for what had happened. "Wesley wasn't one for holding grudges. He forgave easily. He had a good heart, an honest one".
He knew she was right. Wes was special that way. He'd always forgive Ezra. It didn't matter what Ezra did, or said to him, he would always forgive him. He just wished he had been a better older brother to him, one he could have come to about anything. Ezra knew he should have never let his issues with their father and Wes's mother stand in his way of being a brother to Wes. Wesley had been cheated; he had been cheated out of having a real relationship with him.
"How come you're so forgiving of me?" Ezra asked her though cloudy ocean blue eyes as he stared down into her pretty face, a face that stole his breath every time he gazed upon it. He kissed her two fingers parked on his mouth, before pulling them down so that he could seek her lips with his. The crush of his mouth on hers had her head spinning out of control as chills of sensation crept up her back. She was forced to feel him, to taste him and to absorb all his masculinity, and to feel his tongue invade every part of her mouth. A feeling such as this shouldn't be normal. It made her weak at the knees, had her toes curling and uncurling at the same time as she fastened herself to him. Pants of air wrestled their way through her gaping mouth as she endured all his open-mouthed kisses. All manner of blood rushed to her ears as she kissed him back, giving him kiss for kiss. And then she tore her lips from his as she stared unseeingly up into his face. Every part of her body ached. Her heart thumped inside her chest. The sound was so loud, for a second, she thought he had heard. "I just couldn't life with myself if I didn't tell you".
"Because I know who you are. I know that you're not a bad person, or a cruel one. You're kind, generous, attentive, and you have a big heart". His heart squeezed at her picture of him. "And you did the noble thing by telling me".
One of his hands came from around her waist to run through her short silky hair, his fingers feeling the cool tresses.
"I wanted you to hear it from me, not anyone else". His voice was deep and scratchy than ever. "I want a real relationship with you, one out in the open. I don't want to have to hide what we have. I want to go out and declare it to the world".
She laughed nervously. She wanted the same thing. But it wasn't possible, was it? She couldn't see how they could make it work. So many forces stood in their way. Politics were bitch. There wasn't a way to get around them. He didn't think Aria was equipped to handle the harsh criticism that would be thrown their way. It would be too much for her. He wouldn't put her through something like that. There had to be another way for them to be together, one that didn't involve leaving her family behind.
She didn't' want to hide their relationship either. It would make their relationship seem dirty, ugly. It was anything but that. She and Ezra cared deeply for one another. How could anyone think differently? It was too important to her. She didn't want to leave Danny, or her parents behind, but she would if it meant she could be with Ezra. The thought made her sick. Would Danny be able to forgive her, would her parents? They had done so much for her. She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but she couldn't pass up a chance at love.
"I want that too. I want to be with you, to be with you out in the open," Aria spoke in soft voice. "Danny knows about us".
Ezra knew he should care about her brother knowing, that he should be scared, but he wasn't. It had only been a matter of time before someone had found out about them. They had to face reality sometime. They had to go from here. They couldn't live in fear, or regret. He would be able to make it if she was at his side. He was willing to do whatever she wanted.
"Has he told your parents"? He asked. "Did you tell him, or did he find out on his own?"
"No, he's not going to tell our parents," Aria said, easily reassuring him. "And no, he caught me when you took me home that night. I couldn't lie to him. I have never lied to him. He knows that I love you, and that you love me. He won't say anything. He respects you".
He sighed inwardly; he was glad that Daniel didn't think he had eagerly come on to Aria. It hadn't been that way. It had been mutual on both sides. He had never asked to love Aria, and Aria had never asked to love him. Fate played in mysterious ways. He was just happy that fate had brought Aria in his life.
"Daniel has always been fair, a great guy". His voice was full of admiration. Aria gave a smile that said she thought so too. After all, she knew him best. "I know this isn't an option that you wouldn't want to think about, but would you be willing to go away with me?"
He would understand if she said no.
Was she really ready to give up her brother, her parents? She knew she could always finish school elsewhere. It was the same with Ezra's teaching career. A teaching job would always be available for him. It didn't matter where they went. They could start over, as a couple, together. It was something to think about.
"I have to really think about leaving all the people I love behind," Aria said with deep consideration. "But if it means I get to be with you, then I'll do it. Initially, my parents and Danny will be anger with me, but they'll get over it. They will understand eventually. They love me, and they know I love them, that I'll never do anything to hurt them intentionally".
"I hate to take you away from your parents, from Danny, but I don't know any other way we can be together," Ezra said with much regret in his voice as his fingers caressed her soft milky cheeks as he leaned his forehead to rest against hers. "I love you, I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Aria. I also want to marry you, want you to bare my children".
She wanted to marry him too, to be the mother of his children. She wanted them to share a nice life together, to be a family. She knew it would take practice, but they could do it. She loved him which meant she trusted him completely. She knew he had her best interest at heart. He was a kind guy, one who had stolen her heart. She wanted a life with him.
"No, don't say that. You won't be taking me away, I'll be going with you willingly," Aria corrected him. She wanted him to know it was her choice too. It wasn't just his. They were making the decision together, as a couple, as two consenting adults. "I want all those things with you that you described".
His mouth made its way on hers once more, kissing her slow, sensuously as her arms curled around his neck and cradled the back of his head as her fingers flew through his silky long locks. He tried not to feel guilt about going away with Aria, had to remember it was her choice too. That she wanted to be with him like he wanted to be with her. He was more than ready to start his new life with her. There was much he had to do, much they had to do. They could make it work, he knew they could. His smiled against her ripe red mouth, promising to give her the world, to take really good care of her.
I just wanted to thank you guys for taking this journey with me. I enjoyed reading your comments throughout the development of this great love story. This version of Aria and Ezra has been dear to my heart. I loved them so much, loved writing all their moments. I hope you did too. Let me know by reviewing! And don't forget to lookout for my newest Ezria story, His Teacher!