[Author's Note; HI GUYS! So the school year is ending so that means I'll be updating this more frequently! You guys are really silent readers ((either that, or my fic is not comment-worthy ;_;)). Anyways, remember, if you do want to read my fanfic elsewhere, it is also here - ej - fanfiction . weebly . com. Please leave your thoughts even if it is something short. I'll be so grateful! ;A;]

On that one fateful day, everything I had was lost to me, and in the worst possible way. That innocent, joyous perception I once had of the world was shattered the instant those dark, foreboding eyes had peered ominously over the wall, reminding mankind of the presence of our greatest enemies - the Titans. But who was the true enemy? Who was the real threat?

That day, I vowed to seek revenge. I was going to right the wrongs, even if it meant I would have to take drastic measures to do so.

Chapter Fourteen: Defy

(Warnings; Strong language, violence, mature themes, manga spoilers, etc.)

"I want you to stay behind with Hanji and the others," the Commander spoke as soon as we were alone.

"What?"

"You're injured, right? I think it's better for you to sit and wait for us to come back," he continued, his back facing me. "I don't think you're in the shape to tag along with us. It'll only prove to be a hindrance since this is an emergency situation. We need to be as quick as we possibly can."

"Forgive me for my rudeness, but I'm in perfectly fine condition," I protested. "My shoulder is fine. I'll come along and do everything I can to bring back those traitors and rescue Eren. Trust me, sir."

He stopped, turning back to face me, his thick brows furrowing sternly.

"Please," I pleaded with him. "My injuries are nothing. Eren is important to me, too. I think that I will be able to contribute just as well as my fellow teammates. I know Bertholdt and Reiner well, I'm sure I can convince them to surrender Eren and Ymir and return with us."

"No."

"But, sir, I promise I won't be in the way. My shoulder really is fine now. I can ride a horse and fight just fine. Please."

I met his severe, decisive stare and instantly knew his orders were final. He was immune to my heartfelt emotions, lacking the heart to be affected by my strong sense of duty as both a friend and as a soldier. My shoulder should be the least of his concerns now. I knew that it was just a foolish excuse he thought of to prevent me from coming along. Mikasa and the others were in worse condition than I was, yet it was apparent that they would be tagging along with him, presumably at the front right next to him.

"I told you, no."

For some reason, Erwin was determined on forcing me to stay behind, despite the fact it was clear my health was in fine condition. It was evident he disliked me or at least, believed me unqualified for the task. Whatever reasoning he had behind it, I did not know, but what I did know was that my spite for him was growing exponentially, seeming as if it would never stop until I did something about it. Something...

I despised, no, loathed everything about him, from the very top of his head to the tip of his toes. Not only was the outside of him subjected to my judgment, but his interior as well. His intelligence, his unchanging composure, his willingness to sacrifice - it all made me sick to my stomach. Every inch of his body, the ground he tread upon, the air he breathed, every object his hands touched, the earth he was standing upon and existed in - none of it could escape the prolific vehemence radiating out from the deepest, blackest chambers of my heart.

How I longed to grasp him by his throat and force him to choke on his own words! How I wished to unleash my wrath on that thick neck of his, preventing any air from slipping past my fingers. I wanted for him to be completely under my jurisdiction, to cringe and struggle and cry beneath me as I tormented him. Nothing would be more aesthetically pleasing, more melodious, more sweet to my ears than the panicked begging of Erwin Smith as he pleaded for his life! I wanted him to cower before me on his knees, wringing his hands together to ask me for forgiveness. I would have him confess his true, evil nature, and finally own up to his inexcusable offenses from six years past! If he failed to take responsibility for his sinful deeds, he would leave me no choice but to resort to the only thing left for him - sanctification through his death.

If he were dead, I could be at peace. My parents, my dear brother Aaron, those fallen soldiers and innocent souls, could all finally be laid at rest. I had vowed to myself long ago, to carry out my mission no matter what the circumstances were. It didn't matter if the world hated me, if I would be thrown into jail and subjected to inhumane torture afterwards; I promised my family I would uncover the truth and take back what rightfully belonged to me - peace of heart.

"I have to attest to that decision. I believe myself completely capable, more than anyone else is at the moment. I promise that I will-"

"Are you defying my orders? I forbid you to join us on this mission. You will stay back and let us handle this, is that clear?" he retorted, his eyes calm yet unable to conceal his anger. "You will remain here with the wounded, and assist with relating and receiving messages. Is that understood?"

I glared at him before reluctantly inclining my head. "Yes, sir."

"Good. I believe you should be capable enough to sit here quietly for a few hours without disturbing anyone. That's all I wanted to say."

He walked off before I could respond, his forest green cloak flapping violently in the wind, the sacred image of the wings of freedom distorted ominously by the consistent billowing of the cape. He did not deserve to wear such an insignia on him, neither did he deserve the title as the Commander of the greatest army of fighters in the world. Erwin Smith was tainting the integrity of the Survey Corps with his gratuitous actions. At this rate, his impetuous reputation would leave permanent scars upon the dignity of what made the Survey Corps so highly-respected and renowned.

I had once considered taking the position of Commander in my own hands after ridding of Erwin Smith; however, that consideration was instantaneously thrown out the window when I realized I would never be able to be fit to be a leader. I typically avoided conversation with others and enjoyed doing things my own way, all by myself without the guidance of anyone else.

I disliked being at the center of attention and despised having to deal with the criticism of others. I was capable as a soldier who worked by herself, but not as one who was expected to contribute to a team. There was no way that I would be able to handle the position of Commander, not in my wildest dreams. Besides, it wasn't as if I would have much of a future laid out ahead of me, anyway.

After I did the deed, I would be handcuffed by the authorities and sent to the high court, where they would prosecute me for murder, treason, and a whole list of other crimes in front of a wide audience. In the stands would be the utmost, highest-ranking officials from the Garrison, the Military Police, and of course, the Recon Corps, along with a selected panel of state officials, nobles, dukes, and the sort. I would hardly be ashamed though - most probable was that I would take my sentencing extremely calmly, holding my chin up high and my eyes looking directly ahead at the judge. They would all murmur amongst themselves, wondering how a girl like me could do such a thing like commit a brutal, well-planned murder of one of mankind's most brilliant soldiers.

However, though I would be brazen and unaffected by the gossiping, I knew deep in my heart that I would feel the full weight of my ignominy when I met the eyes of my comrades, my friends whom had trusted me only to find out that there was a demon hiding underneath what image they had held of me since the beginning. I was no different than the like of Bertholdt and Reiner, was I? I was just as much of a traitor as they were, going back on the unspoken promises and friendships that I'd come to make throughout my time with those who had foolishly befriended me.

I would feel ashamed then, I suppose. But the shame then was minuscule compared to what I would feel when I made eye contact with the Lance Corporal, whom I wanted least to know of the demons lurking inside of me. I would rather be subjected to thousands of means of painful torture and public shaming than to meet his eyes, ones that would look down upon me with reproach, with disgust, with contempt. The mere prospect of Levi hating me made me stiff with fear. Was this what it felt like to be tied down because of love? My feelings of admiration, of reverence for the man would destroy me eventually.

I knew in my heart that he would hate me, that my friends would hate me, that the world would stare at me as if I were some kind of monster born into the world with three eyes and six arms. Yet, in spite of this, I couldn't let go of the rage I had kept with me all these years - I could not and would not surrender without first accomplishing what I was fated to do. Six years before, I had been infected with an incurable disease of the heart, one that would rot me away from the inside out until I became the manifestation of the Devil himself.

I was going to die in some cold, dark prison in the capital, with hardly a morsel to eat and nobody who gave a care in the world what would become of me. That was my fate, after all. There was no changing of the ways of the heavens.

So be it.

"Kriger, you're late as usual." Levi sharply scolded me as I entered the instruction hall ten minutes past the scheduled time, scrambling into my seat at the end of the front row beside Mikasa.

"Sorry, sir."

"I know you're not."

"I can't deny the veracity of your statement," I admitted coolly. I saw almost a hint of a smile ghosting his lips before it completely vanished. From where he leaned against the wall, he could keep a watch on all of the recruits while at the same time, offering up additional advice.

We were being taught what the Commander called the 'Long Distance Formation', a systematic approach to expeditions out of the wall that would greatly reduce the loss of lives in the force. It was an extended period of instruction, in which we were repeatedly taught in order to get it firmly planted in our minds. I had memorized it from the first day.

After the lecture had came to a finish, Levi followed us out and approached me. We were conversing in a pointless and formal manners we normally did until Hanji appeared with the Commander and Mike. Mike had commented silently on the smell of my hair, noting that it had seemed to be sweeter than before before prompting Hanji to come and try to sniff my hair herself. Levi had rolled his eyes then at her idiocy and turned to the severe blond man beside him. Erwin Smith had seemed curious about me, probably wondering what business Levi had to discuss with a rookie such as myself. At that time, I had no idea that Levi was doubting my liability due to Matthew Mackerie's unsubstantiated claims and assumed he was simply just distrustful of me.

Why did I remember such a pointless scene like that right now, in the middle of preparation for an emergency situation? Probably because it was then that it was peaceful, when I had forgotten the duty assigned to me and lived life as any other normal soldier was. Then, I had genuinely respected the Commander, losing sight of the boiling hatred I had originally had of him. It was there, definitely, but not as overbearing as it was right now, when I was reminded of the dying screams of my family.

Now, in the present, as I stood there in shock, Jean came up towards me, brows knit and frowning. "Hey, what's wrong? What did he say?"

"He told me to stay behind."

"What?" Even Jean was puzzled. "Why would he say something like that?"

I shrugged. "Beats me. I refuse to stay behind and do nothing when I'm armed and in perfect health. I'm going, I don't care what he says."

"Huh? You can't be seriously considering disobeying commands," he stammered nervously. "Don't mess around."

"I don't plan on it. Are you going to help me or not? If not, I'll just figure out a way myself."

"If you're really going to tag along you better be careful not to let Erwin see you." A sudden voice jolted us out of our tense situation and we saw that Hanji, who was lying down injured, had heard our exchange. "I don't know what Erwin is thinking, leaving you behind. He has no idea what you're capable of."

For a moment, I completely froze over, my eyes widened in horror. "What... I'm capable of?"

Hanji nodded her head, struggling to get up before ultimately giving up. "Yes. He hasn't seen how well you fight. Of course, considering the fact it was only Levi and I who know how good you are at what you do," she commented.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh, so that's what you meant."

"Sneak an extra horse onto the elevator and you'll be all set," Hanji said. "You can just follow the formation from a distance. It'll be more dangerous if you're at the back, though."

"Don't worry, I'm not afraid. I'll be just fine."

"Tell me one thing, though. What makes you want to go so badly that you'll defy his orders?"

I pictured the faces of the two traitors and of Eren and balled my hand into a fist. "I intend to save Eren and get some answers from those traitors."

Hanji nodded her head. "Good enough. If Erwin asks, tell him I permitted you to join."

"But you'll get into trouble as well," I protested.

She merely laughed, appearing as if she weren't even injured at all. "I'll be fine. You be careful okay?"

"Okay."

'If I die, give everything I have to Lance Corporal Levi, Jean Kirschtein, Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, and Eren Jaeger. Perhaps I won't have much to give, but I want what I do have to go to those who I loved. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good friend. -Lilianna Kriger'

After writing my will, I tucked the paper in my breast pocket and mounted the horse I had snuck onto the elevator just earlier. The formation had taken off more than five minutes ago, getting a head start and providing me with ample time to write up a will, something I had been meaning to do since I had joined the Survey Corps. Life in these times was especially unpredictable, capricious - any moment, everything I had worked for and dreamed of could come crashing down around me. All I needed was for some Titan to get the best of me and that would be it. Being where I was, all alone, I was less likely to be noticed by any Titans. If I were to be spotted, however, there was always the chance all of them would turn on me at once and overwhelm me.

I maintained about half of a mile distance from the rear of the main force, guided by the smoke signals and keeping my senses on high alert. Twenty minutes had gone by and there were no signs of any Titans. However, I didn't let my guard down and constantly checked my surroundings every few minutes, wondering when they would decide to reveal themselves to me. If they came at me from the front or at an unavoidable angle from the sides, I would have no choice but to draw my weapons and fight. It was nerve-wracking being completely alone in Titan-infested territory, but I refused to let myself be consumed by fear. As soon as my fear took control, it would be the end of me.

I wondered what was so important to Bertholdt and Reiner that they would kidnap both Ymir and Eren and take off just like that. What exactly was their goal? And why did they wait until now to take action and reveal themselves?

Hours passed and a group of Titans were chasing behind me, unable to keep up with the speed of my horse. Eventually, they began to wear out one by one and slowed to a stop. I had only gotten off the horse once to kill a Titan, so I was relieved I could save up my energy. I could see the forest looming up ahead, the tops of the dark trees lining the horizon. Most likely, the main force had reached it already and were inside, searching for them, or maybe even locked in combat already. I suddenly picked up my pace, galloping as fast as I could towards the forest. Hopefully, Eren was okay. They'd gone through all the trouble of kidnapping him, so it wasn't as if they would hurt him, right?

When I considered the possibility of Eren being in harm's way, my blood went cold. I couldn't lose him, too, not after I'd lost Aaron. His agonizing, terrified, crying face flashed through my mind, causing me to nearly fall off of the horse. That Day, I failed protect him from the Titans; but now, with these newfound abilities, I had the power to save others and make my brother proud of me. I could save Eren, the boy who reminded me so much of my beloved little brother.

'Aaron, you'd want me to save him, wouldn't you?' I thought. 'You'd tell me to go against the rules and do what I thought was right. You were always righteous that way, weren't you? If you were where I was now, you'd get onto the horse and ride proudly at the front, leading everyone into battle. That's just how you were. If only it had been you that had become a soldier, like you'd dreamed. I, however, am a failed excuse for one.'

After what seemed like an eternity, I rounded the forest and encountered Titans who had already snatched up some midday snacks. I leapt off my horse, launching myself upwards at a body-crushing velocity, utilizing this momentum to spin and slice off a chunk of one of the Titans' neck. The officer, who belonged to the Military Police, was released from its grasp and fell safely onto the grass below. A smaller 4-Class Meter Titan, however, was quick to head towards him, the remains of another fallen still in its hand. I killed that one swiftly, saving the man from death twice and offering him out my hand.

"Th-thank you. You saved my life," the middle-aged man stammered, still wide-eyed and shaking from his previous brush with death.

"Don't thank me just yet," I said as I helped him onto his feet. Three Titans were approaching us, two of them 10-Meter Classes and the last an 8-Meter. I faced them off, the man from the Military Police cowering fearfully behind my back. He had his weapons, no doubt about it, but he was much too afraid to be able to successfully kill any of them. He had probably never seen a Titan before in his life, much less killed one. I felt a slight resentment towards him knowing he'd chosen the easy way out. However, these feelings did not stymie my duty to protect and defend.

"Are you insane? Three Titans?" he gasped. "Shit, you'll die..."

I glowered at him. "No I won't. I promise. Just wait here, sir."

"Wait! Hey, girl!"

I ignored his cries and headed into the line of danger, zipping around the back of the Titans to cut their necks. They fell to a heap on the floor, steam billowing out from the open gashes in their neck. My exhilaration rushed into me, reminding me of the thrill I got when in battle. Landing atop the branch of a tree, I gazed out into the horizon and saw that I was within five minutes distance from the main force, who was pursuing the Armored Titan. The poor, shaken man had no horse, so I was forced to have him tag along with me, awe shining in his eyes as I plugged my blades back in. Those of the Military Police hadn't truly witnessed how amazing the Survey Corps could be.

We marched on ahead, dodging Titans along the way and heading straight for the Reiner, who was currently clad in Titan flesh. Eventually I had caught up to the rear of the formation, who was dealing with Titans from all directions. I passed the reigns on to the man seated behind me, jumping off to rid of the Titans standing in the way. I attached my wire to the front flank of the Titan, swinging around it and bringing my swords down upon the back of its neck. It released the man it was holding and I caught him in my arms before he was able to hit the ground.

"T-thank y-"

I dropped him off without waiting for his gratitude, propelling myself towards another group of Titans and preparing myself for one of the most difficult maneuvers - my wire hooked onto the thigh of one of the Titans, the air pressure bringing me dangerously close to skidding against the ground. My momentum kept me going forward until I sliced the back of the Titans knees, rendering it immobile. I then proceeded to kill the other two close by, then returned for the one I'd temporarily disabled.

"Amazing," a man from the Garrison spoke in awe. "She's only a rookie, too, from the looks of it."

"She killed four Titans in two minutes," another sputtered. "H-how?"

I looked at them calmly, catching them off-guard before stepping down from the fallen Titan body. "Can someone give me a ride? I need to get to the front."

They all glanced at one another with uncertainty before a young one with blond hair slowly raised his hand. "I-I can."

"Thanks."

I jumped onto his horse and hitched a ride to the front. As we neared the Armored Titan, I noticed that Ymir was riding atop his shoulder, Krista at her side, but no sign of Bertholdt or Eren whatsoever. Puzzled, I realized that both Reiner and one of Ymir's hands were covering something, most likely the two who were currently out of sight. Krista appeared to be there willingly, most likely due to the fact Ymir was there, too. Just as I began to rise, gearing up for a surprise attack, the young man slowed down his pace, staring back at me with wide, panicked eyes.

"You're not aiming for the Armored Titan, are you? It's way too dangerous!" he shouted above the rushing wind.

"I have some business to take care of, I could care less how dangerous it is," I stated, glowering. "Now are you going to help me out or what? Or do I really have to push you off here after you were kind enough to bring me this far?"

"N-no!" he cried. "I-I'll bring you closer to it."

"Good."

He drew his horse close to the Armored, giving me a clear shot at it. Just as I aimed and fired, the rest from the 104th ascended onto the moving Titan to confront the traitors. I glided in hastily, landing right before Jean who caught me by the arm. Everyone but Jean looked at me in surprise, knowing I was ordered to stay behind. There was no need for any explanation, for it was evident what reasons I had for defying such a direct order. They all knew me well enough not to interfere with me when I was angry, well-aware I would take out anybody standing in my way. Clutching my swords tightly, I balanced myself on Reiner's broad shoulder plate.

"Geez, what took you so long? I almost thought you chickened out and ran away," Jean sighed.

"I had something to do first." I didn't want to say I had been writing out a will - I knew he would have demanded to see it, then ask for his name to be removed from it. So I kept this fragment to myself as Connie interjected.

"Jean, you knew she was coming? Why didn't you tell us?" he asked. "We could've waited for her!"

"Forget it, Connie, that's not what's important now," I spoke, surprising him with my harsh tone of voice. I looked down on the hand separating me from Bertholdt and Eren, stomping on it as hard as I could with my heel. "Hey, Bertholdt, you in there? Why don't you come out and say hi? Just like you did six years ago?"

No response.

"Reiner, I know you can hear me. Move your hand away or I'll chop it off," I threatened. When I received no answer, no indication of some sort of answer whatsoever, I became increasingly agitated. "Are you fucking listening to me? Or are you deaf? Open it up and hand Eren over, you traitors!"

"Bertholdt, give him back! Give Eren back!" Mikasa pleaded desperately.

"Bertholdt, Reiner, it's a lie, isn't it? Were you fooling us all this time? That's cruel," Connie shouted, utter devastation wreaking across his features.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jean spoke. "You guys aren't seriously trying to get away like this, are you? Aren't we comrades who endured all of those hardships together three years ago under the same roof? Bertholdt, it was so artistic how terrible you looked when you were asleep. At some point we all looked forward to seeing what kind of face you'd make the next morning. Hell, we even predicted the weather that way."

Unshed tears of betrayal and hurt accumulated in Jean's eyes. "But... you slept quite soundly, didn't you? Considering that you were the perpetrators behind the fall of Wall Maria."

"Was it all a lie?" Connie asked. "When we all pledged to survive, when we all said we'd live to become old men and drink together? Was all of that a lie, too? Well? What have you been thinking all this time?!"

"I trusted you guys... We trusted you," I muttered. "How could you wake up every morning with smiles on your faces and play soldier with the rest of us? At first, I never trusted the two of you, not until just recently. Connie knew of it, and yesterday, when we were all locked up in Castle Utgard, fighting off those Titans together, you know what he told me?"

All went silent then, as tears rolled down my cheeks. "He told me that if I trusted him, that I should trust the two of you. Because we weren't just friends who endured so much together, but because we were like family. And family never turns on one another," I wept silently. "What kind of humans are you? Pretending to be our friends, pretending to be soldiers, putting your lives on the line to protect us. Just... just what the fuck are you? If you're killers, stay killers! Don't mess with our feelings like this, you bastards!"

Silence.

Utter silence.

Until...

"Who... Who do you think actually wants to kill people?!" Bertholdt suddenly shouted from within Reiner's hand. "Who likes doing something like this? Who wants to do it? Being hated, hated by everyone... Even if we were killed, we did what we had to! What's done can't be undone!"

I heard his sobbing coming from inside as he resumed. "But we couldn't be forgiven. Only that time, when we could be soldiers, was enjoyable! Connie... Jean... Lilianna... Not all of it was a lie. It's true that we deceived everyone, but not everything was a lie... I really did think of us as comrades!"

"We have no way to apologize, but somebody, please, somebody, I'm begging you, please find us!" he pleaded.

"Bertholdt. Give Eren back," Mikasa said, after a long pause.

"I can't. Somebody has to do it. Someone will have to stain their hands with blood."

Speechless, I merely stood there, attempting to digest his words. Jean, Connie, Armin - they were all doing the same thing, trying to make some sense out of Bertholdt's ambiguous words. It was a speech made of so much meaning, but a meaning that was nearly impossible to decipher. I couldn't understand what he meant, couldn't understand why he was doing this, and that was enough to frustrate me beyond comprehension. I clutched my head, a sharp pain hammering through my skull as I struggled to maintain my balance.

"Get away from there, guys!" Commander Hannes from the Garrison alerted to riding side -by-side with the Armored Titan. "I can't believe it... What is he trying to do?"

We all looked up ahead and saw that Erwin Smith was leading a mob of Titans straight at us, advancing towards us at a dangerous speed. Titans of all sizes burst from the forest, running over and down the hills as they chased after the soldiers on their horses. I was rendered immobile, standing there on Reiner's shoulder in disbelief.

"Jump off at once!" Hannes ordered as Erwin and his troop rapidly ascended upon us. Jean was quick to snatch me before leaping off the side, getting me out of harm's way as the throng of Titans inundated upon the Armored Titan, grabbing onto his legs, his arms, his back, anywhere to slow him down and consume him. I watched in horror as we landed on the ground with a thud, rolling over the grass and bumping our heads and bodies on sharp rocks along the way.

Dazed from the fall, I slowly lifted my head as soon as we stopped tumbling and realized Jean had shielded me from most of the impact, taking the hit upon himself by holding me close to his chest. Horrified, I lifted a trembling hand to his face as he slowly opened his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Are you alright?" we said simultaneously.

"I'm fine," we chorused, then couldn't help but smile at one another. Jean's horse Buchwald came galloping towards us, stopping loyally beside Jean. The boy hoisted himself onto the horse, offering me a hand.

"Wanna hop on?"

"Sure."

I grasped onto his firm, warm hand was gently pulled up onto the horse. I wrapped my arms around his solid, muscular torso, watching from the distance as the Titans surrounded Reiner, preventing him from moving any further. Commander Erwin rode in next to us, instantly noticing me. His eyes narrowed in anger, yet he did nothing else to acknowledge me and proceeded with giving orders.

"All units, charge!" he boomed. "The fate of mankind rests on this moment! Without Eren, the future where mankind can inhabit this earth will never come! We'll take Eren back and return at once! Put your hearts to the task!"

"What...?" Jean inquired in shock.

Just then, a Titan went right past us, chomping down on the right arm of the Commander. He was carried roughly off his horse, his arm lodged tightly in its ruthless jaws. We continued on, unable to do anything and focused solely on rescuing Eren. Reiner had released his hold on Bertholdt in order to fend off his attackers, giving us an opening to move in. Just as I prepared for taking off, Jean stopped me.

"Hey, what are you thinking, Lilianna?! Don't be stupid, there are way too many Titans to get through safely!" he scolded. "You don't seriously think you can make it through all by yourself, do you? Remember what you promised me? That you would trust me?"

"Of course I do, but we might not have another opportunity like this one!" I argued. "Eren is right th-"

Without warning, Mikasa, who was beside us, was snatched off of her horse by a Titan.

"Mikasa!" Jean exclaimed, going in to save her. "Shit! You bastard, let go of her!"

"Jean!" I called after him in a panic. He managed to save her and got back onto the horse moments later after I went to receive him. Meanwhile, the others had managed to steal Eren back from Bertholdt, and Mikasa now had him with her. Erwin instructed us to pull back immediately, completely reversing our direction to head back to the Wall. All seemed to go relatively smoothly, considering our circumstances, until I noticed flying trajectories in they sky above us. One glimpse back and I realized Reiner was picking up Titans and flinging them towards us, an act of desperation to win Eren back.

"That bastard is throwing Titans at us!" Jean growled as the sky began to rain them down around us. Eren and Mikasa had been struck by one and currently lie on the ground in the midst of all the Titans. Jean rushed to defend them, drawing his swords as a group of Titans moved to block his path. "Don't get in the way, you fuckers!"

From the corner of my eye, I saw that the Armored had broken free and was running straight for Eren. At the speed he was going, he would reach him in a manner of seconds. I wasn't about to let that happen. I promised myself I wouldn't stand by and let him be taken away without first putting up a fight. Reiner and Bertholdt would have to get through me first if they wanted to lay their hands on him.

Just as I rose to take action, Armin cried out to us. I looked up in horror as a flying Titan came heading right towards us, casting a dark shadow as it drew closer. I made haste to cover Jean, shielding him from the imminent threat. Armin stood by, trembling as the Titan slammed right into me, the impact knocking the air right out of my body. My head whipped violently to one side, the sheer weight from the creature propelling me off of the horse and sending me in a berserk somersault through the air. I landed on my side, straining my previously-wounded arm and causing a sharp, body-numbing pain throughout my entire body. Breathless and dazed, I was unable to move, barely able to retain my consciousness.

Jean had been knocked out cold, Armin rushing to his side with a sword in his hand. I groggily lifted my eyes up and saw that a round-faced, large-eyed Titan was looming over me, staring at me as if transfixed. It picked me up from the ground, looking me over for a moment as if examining me before bringing my limp body close to his face, its humongous eyes right before me. I stared right at it, too exhausted to be afraid of it. After a few seconds it tired of simply looking at me and shoved me right into his mouth, readying to chomp down and devour me.

My life flashed before my eyes. I'd lived a good life, hadn't I? I had been blessed with the best family I could have ever asked for. I had had a wonderful childhood, full of love and happiness and laughter and making unforgettable memories with those around me. I was able to see many things, to experience what it truly meant to be happy. I was able to care for my brother, to be at his side always and to share everything I saw and heard and felt with him whenever I returned home in the evening. I'd made a long journey to camp, where I met a group of people who I'd grown to love and cherish even after I'd promised myself I would never allow myself to love again. I'd made unbreakable friendships, bonding with those who managed to look past my harsh demeanor and see me for who I was. I hadn't realized it until now, but I'd really lived a good life, hadn't I?

Now it was time to say goodbye, to accept what was inevitable as a soldier and as a human. Death would come eventually, to all. My time was now.

I closed my eyes and relaxed my tense muscles, images of those I loved before me. Jean, who taught me what true friendship was; Marco, who showed me how to be kind and considerate of others; Connie, whom I learned what it meant to trust someone from; Sasha, who always demonstrated to me what bravery was; Eren, who served to me as a symbol of hope and of determination; Mikasa, whose protective nature over Eren reminded me of mine over Aaron; Armin, who was intelligent but physically weak, showing me that strength wasn't everything; Krista, who was always optimistic no matter what; Ymir, whose annoying remarks reminded me I was still alive; Reiner, who showed me what it was like to be a soldier; Bertholdt, who was always looking out for others; Hanji, who once told me that love was love, no matter what; and lastly, Levi, who taught me how to be strong even if your whole world was falling apart around you.

I held back my tears, a soft smile on my face. "Thank you for teaching me how to live again."

Goodbye.