Chapter Thirteen

"I want to stay with Uncle Sirius."

Her six year old son was glaring at her, as if daring her to say otherwise, and she found herself wondering where the years had gone. It hadn't seemed that long ago that she had held him in her arms, her little baby, who depended on her for everything. The expression on his face now, the determination and the accusing glare, only served to remind her that her son was growing up; was starting to make his own decision about what he wanted, what he thought was right. In just over ten years he would come of age; would be ready to make his own decisions. Ten years ago that amount of time seemed so long away; now, she could imagine just blinking and finding her son walking out the door, ready to start his own life.

"Harry," she took his hands in hers, "I told you. We are staying with him. For now."

"Not for now," his eyebrows lowered, "Forever!" he insisted.

"Sweetheart, soon Uncle Sirius will have a family of his own –"

"He told me that we're his family. He won't love anyone else as much as he loves us."

Lily sighed, shaking her head and rubbing a hand to her forehead, "Yes. Yes, we are his family. But, Harry, we're a different sort of family to him. We're...we're like...The type of family I mean are mums and dads and their children."

Harry shrugged, glancing down, his tone tentative, "I don't mind Uncle Sirius being my dad."

"He's not your dad," Lily found herself saying, firmly, before she could stop herself. Harry's shoulders dropped in obvious disappointment, as he continued to look down at the bed covers, rubbing a piece of fabric between his middle and index finger.

"I wish he was," he whispered.

"Harry," she sighed, "Harry, you already have a dad."

"No I don't."

"Yes, you do. James. Remember I told you about him? I gave you pictures –"

"I don't want pictures. I want a dad. All my friends have a dad; Ron has a dad. It's not fair."

Lily felt a lump form in her throat, not able to disagree with what he had said, as she was reminded of what her son had lost; what he must grow up without. She turned around, sitting with her back to the headboard, and pulled him into her arms. He allowed himself to be pulled into her embrace, leaning against her, but didn't say anything more.

"I know it's not fair, Sweetheart," she kissed his head, "I know."

"Why can't you marry Uncle Sirius?"

She stroked his hair, holding back a smirk at the suggestion; what a disastrous marriage that would be; "I'm married to your father, Harry. To James."

"He ruins everything."

"Harry!"

"It's true!"

Lily leaned back, turning him to look up at her, "Harry, your dad loved you. Very much. If he could be here he would; he wants to be here."

Harry didn't meet her eyes, only glared at the top button of her dress.

"I understand how confusing it must be for you. But you have to remember that he loves you, okay? It's not his fault that he can't be here."

"Will he come back?" Harry looked at her, questioningly, "I heard Uncle Sirius once say you think he's going to come back."

Lily hesitated when faced with the question; once again put in the position of giving him hope at the risk of it being taken away. She didn't know. The thought startled her and she felt a jolt as it came to mind; she didn't know. When had the answer changed to that? When had it gone from an unquestioning, determined 'yes' to the uncertainty she now felt?

She forced a smile, brushing the hair back from his forehead, "Maybe. I hope so."

"I don't."

"Harry!" she was finding herself shocked by her son's statements far too much during the conversation, "Don't say that. I thought you said you wanted your dad back?"

"Not him. I want Uncle Sirius," then he shrugged, "I don't mind if you marry Uncle Remus though. He'd be a good dad too."

"Remus..." Lily shook her head, stopping short, incredulous at the conversation they were having, "Harry, only people who love each other get married," 'not entirely true, but let's go with it', "Your uncles are like brothers to me. Girls don't marry their brothers," she hoped putting it in that context would make him understand, "It's like how Ron is Ginny's brother."

"But they're not your real brothers," he stated, impossibly, refusing to accept the example as a valid point.

Oh my God, Lily could feel the headache she had already had building up pressure, and she closed her eyes against the frustration she was feeling.

"Ron says you're not really married to dad now since he's gone. It's okay for you to get married again –"

"Harry, enough," Lily interrupted him, her tone making it clear the point would be discussed no further, "I'm not going to get married again. Not to either of your uncles."

Harry's brow furrowed and he raised his eyes to her, "You mean you'd marry someone else?"

"No!"

Harry huffed and crossed his arm across his chest, glaring at her furiously, "So I'll never have a dad then!"

Lily rubbed her hands over her face, "I'm sorry, Harry," she sighed, "But I told you; you do have a dad."

"What if he comes back?" Harry was looking at her, frowningly.

"Well, then he comes back," Lily shrugged and then smiled, widening her eyes with an excitement she didn't feel, "And then you'd have your dad back."

"So he would come and live with us?"

"Yes, of course."

"What about Uncle Sirius?"

Lily hesitated, glancing over him, at the suspicion in his eyes as he eyed her; "Well...by then your Uncle Sirius will already have his own family."

"You mean he'll be gone."

"Not gone; he will just be living somewhere else."

"Because my dad came back?"

"No. Because he would have his own wife; his own children to live with."

"He won't. He has me. He doesn't need children."

Lily couldn't help but find herself amused at the jealousy Harry was already expressing for children that hadn't even been conceived yet; "You would like them. You'd be their cousin; it'd be like having a little brother or sister."

"You could marry him and give me one."

"Harry, stop it," she let out an exasperated breath, feeling uncomfortable and irritated by his fixation on the idea of her and Sirius getting married. The whole suggestion only made her consider rethinking her current decision to stay with him; perhaps they just rip off the plaster and get it over with. Especially if the pain of conversations like these were going to continue as a result.

"What if Uncle Sirius doesn't get married to someone else?" Harry was looking at her, carefully, "Would he live with us if my dad came back?"

Lily sighed, knowing the answer wouldn't go down well, "To be honest, Sweetheart, probably not."

"So he'd have to leave?"

"Maybe. Or perhaps we would. We haven't decided who would stay at the house."

"I don't want to move out. I like my room. I'd have to leave it if he comes back?"

"People move houses; sometimes it's nice to have a new room."

"No. I don't want a new room. And I don't want to leave Uncle Sirius."

"Well, for now we are staying," Lily stated, hoping that would placate him for now.

Harry was looking thoughtfully at the covers of the bed again, seemingly mulling over what she had said. Just as she was about to move and suggest he get dressed and ready to return home, he spoke up;

"Maybe if he comes back, you could go and live with him but I could stay with Uncle Sirius."

'Not happening.'

"No, Harry," Lily lifted his chin to look at her, "If your father comes back we'll be a family; the three of us. You'll be staying with me."

"What if I don't want to?"

"You don't want to live with me?"

Harry hesitated, looking at her, before he twitched nervously, "I want to live with you. But not with him."

"Harry –"

"I hope he never comes back. I hate him!"

"That's enough, Harry!" she finally snapped, "Do not ever speak about your father that way."

"You said to always tell the truth! It is the truth! And I want to stay with Uncle Sirius!"

Lily flung her legs over the side of the bed, standing up, trying desperately to keep herself under control. She brushed down her dress, shaking her head, not looking at him, as she attempted to think of something appropriate to say in response to his declarations. She couldn't find anything; no words presented themselves. She was terrible at this. Perhaps she should have allowed Sirius to accompany her that morning when he offered.

She shook her head; or maybe that was the root of the problem. Sirius could deal with her son better than she could.

Didn't this whole encounter just confirm that?

"Harry, get dressed. We're going home."

XXX

"Perhaps you were right."

Remus glanced over at her as she voiced her thoughts.

"It may be best if I took Harry to see James. Allow him to see his father," she glanced in the direction of the room that Harry was currently preparing himself in, "It might help with the confusion he has been feeling over our living situation with Sirius."

"Two of you should never have done that in the first place."

"You've never complained before," she frowned, looking at him sharply.

"What good would it do?" Remus shrugged, "Two of you are just going to do what you want. Sirius especially. He's doing it for himself, you know, not for Harry."

"Remus –"

"Just doesn't want to be alone. Only reason he gets up in the morning is for Harry –"

"That's not true."

"Yes it is," Remus shook his head, "But even then he only ever cares about himself."

"Remus, stop," she sighed. What time was it? 10.30? Half way through the morning and she was already wishing the day was over. She didn't have the energy for another conversation like before; "You know how much he loves Harry. And he takes care of him."

Remus glared bitterly into the newspaper he was holding, not answering.

"Harry told me about the argument the two of you had."

He didn't take the bait.

"What you said wasn't fair."

"Don't talk to me about fair, Lily. Wasn't you he turned all your friends against, was it?"

"He didn't..." she hesitated, before pushing on with what could turn out to be an ugly conversation, "Remus, we all made that decision. And I'm sorry. So is he."

"Are you trying to say he didn't have to do any convincing?" he looked directly at her, and she found herself averting her eyes.

She attempted to steer the conversation in another direction; "We have to stay united, the three of us. For Harry's sake."

"For Harry's sake? Let's not forget who Harry came running to last night –"

"No need to be smug about it."

"I'm not being smug," he glared at her, "It's the truth. You and Sirius need to sort out your problems with each other; those are what are affecting Harry, not mine and Sirius' issues."

She sighed, looking down, once again remembering the terror of finding her child not in his bed in the middle of the night. It wasn't something she ever wanted a repeat of.

"When are you taking him to see James?" Remus spoke again, his tone almost apologetic.

"I don't know. Soon. Perhaps in a couple of weeks."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head, "No, thank you." She would take Sirius, she thought, but knew better than to state that to Remus considering his current sentiments towards him. After all, if Harry could see how supportive Sirius was of their reunion, how much his uncle cared about his dad, it would ensure that he didn't feel that he was betraying his relationship with him by wanting to see his father.

Something familiar out the corner of her eye caught her attention and she glanced at the front of the newspaper Remus was holding; a picture of Severus was on the front page. She frowned;

"Why is Severus on the front of the Prophet?"

Remus raised his eyes from the paper, looking at her curiously for a moment, "His and Regulus Black's house was torched last night. Pretty advanced flammation spell, apparently. Destroyed everything in the house."

Lily's eyes widened, "Are they alright?"

"No one was injured," Remus eyed her for a moment, before turning his attention back to the paper, "There isn't much information in the article; you'd be better asking Severus-" he glanced at her as he said the name, "-what happened."

Lily tilted her head at the curious look in his eyes but decided not to take the bait and leaned back, furtively glancing over the front of the newspaper; alongside the picture of Severus was a picture of Regulus Black, with a larger one above of a pile of black rubble.

The door to the guest bedroom opened and Harry stepped out. He looked at her frowningly for a moment, before crossing his arms over his chest, making sure she knew he was still unhappy about their conversation. She stood, raising an eyebrow;

"Ready to go?"

"Uh huh."

"Say goodbye to Uncle Remus."

"Bye," he huffed, not offering him the usual hug he did when leaving, and marched over to the fireplace.

Lily shared a look with an amused Remus, before she walked over, taking her son's hand, and made their way back home.

XXX

Following the destruction of his and Severus' home, Regulus had swallowed his pride and turned to his cousin for assistance, taking up residence at Malfoy Manor. It was the best option; news writers had been hounding him all weekend for a statement regarding the arson attack, and there was no better place to seek respite from it than the home of Lucius Malfoy. Those wishing to speak with him hadn't been able to enter the grounds on which the house stood and, as such, had been unable to see him whatsoever. That was something he would not have had the satisfaction of if he had taken up residence with Andromeda. He was certain he was in a better position than Severus, who had been forced to take up residence at Hogwarts.

As a child he had never enjoyed having too much attention centred on him and, even now, was grateful that his brother had been quite the attention seeker and was only too keen to soak up the interest of any acquaintances and relatives that they happened to meet wherever they went.

The attention he had been receiving since the attempt was disturbing and unwelcome; it was something he frequently managed to avoid, despite being Aurelius' founder, and Severus' opinion matched his with much more vehemence.

Regulus grinned at Draco, as he dipped a hand into the glass pot by the fire, which contained a number of Lucius' most expensive sweets. The little boy returned the smile, pleased to have his Godfather on his side, and stuffed a handful of the sweets into his pocket before hurrying back to the book that his father had given to him on his return from abroad as his mother came into the room.

"How are you feeling, Regulus?" Narcissa regarded him with the same concern she had greeted him with when he had arrived the night before.

"I'm fine, Cissy," he shrugged, trying not to think about all that he had lost in the fire. It didn't matter. It was just stuff, he tried to reason with himself. It was the same thing he had said to Severus in an attempt to make the situation seem less dire; however his friend had adamantly insisted that it did matter and had been horrified at all the things he had lost.

He looked over at his cousin uncertainly for a moment, before broaching the subject that had been on his mind, "Cissy, how would you feel about me selling the Manor?"

Narcissa glanced at him sharply, "Black Manor?"

"Yes."

Black Manor, where his cousins had grown up, had been inherited by him following the death of their parents; the estate being both entailed away from the female line and Sirius being overlooked as a blood traitor. No one had lived in it; he had offered it to Andromeda following their reconciliation however she had turned him down flat, stating she didn't want to have anything to do with the place.

Narcissa, living in the far superior Malfoy Manor, also had no use for it and Bellatrix was in Azkaban. But he had kept a hold of it, opting first to sell Grimmauld Place when he was forming the Foundation; since then Black Manor had remained uninhabited and kept in reserve for whenever he needed extra funds. He had already been feeling the need to use it for the Foundation in recent months but had put it off; but now, with the loss of his home, there was no better time. It would save the waiting for the settlement to come through.

"I suppose it is up to you what you do with the place," Narcissa said, with complete emotional detachment, "I have no use of it."

"You wouldn't be upset?"

"No, of course not."

"I'd give you some of the money –"

"Regulus, don't be ridiculous," she interrupted him, "I don't need it."

"But –"

She held up a hand, stopping him, "Really, Regulus. Do whatever you like with the place."

XXX

Severus found himself sitting at one of the tables in the Foundation gardens until late in the evening the following Wednesday, not at all eager to return to Hogwarts after spending the past five nights at the place. What was once a place where he had often gone for solitude had now become a nightmare and he was keen to begin the search for new lodgings as soon as possible. Anywhere there wasn't the sound of children's voices; children's irritating laugher; the pattering, or worse thudding, of hundreds of footsteps; night duty supervision as assigned by Dumbledore...

He had been becoming more and more irritable as the week dragged on, remaining in his own office whenever he could, and the constant pestering for statements from the press were infuriating him to no end.

"Severus?"

He glanced up from the papers he had been reading to find Lily Potter standing over him. She offered him a smile in greeting.

"Mrs...Lily," he allowed himself to smile in return, the first time he had smiled all week, he was sure, and indicated the chair across from him.

"How are you?" she asked quickly, before she had even finished her descent onto the chair, "I read what happened in the Prophet, I'm so sorry."

Severus almost groaned, having been asked the same question, what felt like, a million times by everyone he had come into contact with, but forced himself to control his irritation and answered with an; "I'm fine."

"I haven't seen you all week; have you been busy with the project?"

"Yes," he lied. Because no, he wasn't. He was simply hiding from all the questions he had been receiving regarding this particular topic.

She looked uncomfortable as she glanced away, out over the scenery, as if she regretted sitting down, and Severus realised that he had appeared short with her and quickly went on, "How is your son?"

Lily looked at him sharply and, for a moment, he thought apprehension crossed her features. He suddenly felt guilty, as the reason why she had run off the previous Friday fully settled itself in his mind and he realised she may have just had as bad a week as he had. And yet, here she was managing to contain any aggravation she may have been feeling perfectly.

"He's fine. Broken arm. Concussion. But the Healers had already tended to him by the time I arrived home."

"What happened?"

"He was flying; his broom caught a fence post."

Severus frowned in concern, "Oh. Well...he was lucky." He almost cringed at the implication that the injury could have been more severe but she seemed not to notice.

"He's quite upset with me just now," Lily said, looking thoughtful, "He's very determined for a six year old; very stubborn."

"I wonder where he gets that from."

She shot him a look and he failed to hold back a smirk, quickly looking down at the papers before him.

"What happened with the fire? Was it an accident?"

Severus glanced at her, "No. It wasn't."

Lily looked concerned for a moment, considering his statement, before speaking, "So, someone may target you again?"

"No. Not me," Severus stated, straightening out his papers, "But I suppose the culprit would not object to my suffering also."

"Oh," she looked down, seeming to think more on what he had said, and the two of them were silent for a moment before she spoke again, a lighter note in her voice.

"Did you enjoy the party?" she changed the subject. Her eyes were teasing when he looked back at her, a reminder of their interaction together that night, and he felt himself fully relax at the memory.

Severus held her look a moment, lip twitching, before they both smiled; "I am not one for parties."

"Yes, like you said some things never change. I did find you hiding in the bushes, after all."

"I was not hiding. I enjoy the peace, that is all. One would after spending more than four years attending such events every month."

"Anti-social much?"

"And are you one to criticise? What were you doing in the maze if not hiding yourself?"

"I've never been in a maze before. I was curious."

"Curious? Surely you knew what a maze was."

"Nothing beats experience, Severus."

"True enough," he consented, looking down at the papers, feeling as if he had been looking at her face for too long.

"It's getting late."

Severus glanced at his timepiece; 8.30pm; "Yes, I suppose."

She frowned, "Where are you staying? Hogwarts?"

"Unfortunately," he fought back the urge to roll his eyes, "I find I can bear it so long as my days here are long."

She grinned, "It can't be that bad."

"I have no patience for children."

"I'm sure the students are not running around in your personal chambers," she pointed out, before going on with an amused look, "Perhaps you have chosen the wrong profession?"

Severus avoided her eyes at that, once again arranging the already tidy pile of articles he had been reading. She was regarding him peculiarly for a moment but he didn't allow himself to meet her eyes, forcibly reminding himself that he owed her nothing, no explanation for his reasons behind going to work at Hogwarts.

At that moment he heard the sound of her stomach rumbling and glanced at her in amusement. She gave a sheepish smile, her cheeks turning slightly pink, putting a hand to her stomach, "Excuse me. Haven't eaten since lunch."

"We have a very fine bistro here for staff. There is no reason to starve yourself while you are working."

"I'm hardly starving," she laughed off his comment, "And yes, I have seen it."

"Have you eaten there?"

"No, not yet."

"We have a Chef; he prepares far more satisfying meals than those prepared by the elves at Hogwarts," he felt his own hunger awaken at the thought of it.

"More satisfying than Hogwarts?" Lily looked sceptical, raising an eyebrow, "An impossible feat if there ever was one."

"Then prepare to be astonished," he cocked an eyebrow at her, eliciting an amused smile in response.

"Hmm, I'd like to see that proven," she glanced back in the direction of the Foundation, "Is the Bistro still open?"

"It is, it closes at eleven."

She stood, abruptly, and he looked up at her with a confused frown. She waited, expectantly. His frown deepened, as his confusion grew;

"What?"

"Aren't you coming?"

"Coming where?"

"To the bistro," she rolled her eyes as she elaborated, "After such a glowing recommendation from as severe a critic as yourself, I have to see it for myself," she added, before looking back at him with a look that suggested that 'no' would not be accepted as an answer.

He glanced down at the articles in his hands, articles he must have read at least five times each before, finding himself in the strange position of wishing both to immediately accept the invitation and join her and also the urge to decline and avoid putting himself in the precarious position of enjoying her company too much.

He shook the thought away; weren't they friends now? Wasn't that what the whole thing last weekend had been about?

And that was all the encouragement his mind needed.

He rolled up the articles, tying them together, and tucked them into his robes, standing as he did so. She smiled brightly before waving an arm in the direction of the building, "Lead the way."

"I thought you said you knew where it was."

She rolled her eyes and leaned in to give him a playful shove in the right direction, urging him to walk on, and he found himself smiling again as they made their way towards the building.