Don't really know where this one came from..other than I've been toying with the idea of Deeks coming home from an assignment and finding Kensi in his bed for awhile now. Those of you who may question my wording at the end, in the deleted scene Deeks says "Falling in love with you" not "I love you." Two totally different things. Still thinking about doing something like this from Deeks' perspective, but I feel like I write a better Kensi than I do Deeks. Anyway I'm going to post this today and go straight to work on some other stuff for pallysdeeks so we can get that next chapter of her story up soon! This one has some good Densi interaction in it.
Kensi's world had shifted on its axis three weeks, two days, and five hours ago, not that she was counting or anything. They had just finished pulling Sam and Callen from the ocean when Deeks' phone had rang with a call from Lt. Bates informing him that LAPD was calling him back for a long term cover. Other than that he was unable to provide her with any details.
He'd had to leave and go off of the grid shortly after they had safely delivered their teammates to the hospital. He'd left Kensi sitting in the ER waiting room with a quick kiss, and a promise that they would talk when he came back. That had been three weeks, two days, and five hours ago.
Kensi managed fairly well for the first week. She'd received a few basic text messages informing her that he was doing ok and definitely not enjoying himself. Kensi spent most of that week moping around the office trying to make it look like she was doing paperwork, while in reality she was staring at her partner's desk and willing her phone to chirp.
Every time Hetty's phone, now Assistant Director Granger's phone would ring, she felt an inexplicable panic set in; she couldn't breathe, her chest hurt, and she couldn't take her eyes off of Granger. With the oppressive silence that had taken over the bullpen in her partner's absence she had heard every single damn time his phone had rung, as many as thirty three times a day. Not that she was counting that either.
At one point she's sure she had a full fledged panic attack, she had only regained her composure when she realized Sam's hands were on her shoulders and he was kneeled down in front of her. This overwhelming amount of emotion was something new for her; she had always kept her feelings neatly tucked away, but had recently found herself unable to do that anymore especially when it came to Deeks.
To make matters worse Hetty was still on administrative leave and still in Washington being investigated for some indiscretion with the way she handled the White Ghost fiasco, apparently the CIA was pissed and was drawing things out. Hetty had even been hospitalized for almost a week due to medical issues brought about by the stress of the investigation, and still they continued.
Kensi ever so desperately wished that Nate was in town, which in itself was enough to scare her even more. Kensi despised talking to Nate in a professional capacity more than anything, but she was more than willing and overly eager to see his familiar face. She had so much that she needed to work through. Deeks was just the tip of the iceberg, but he was the proverbial tip that sunk the titanic so to speak.
The team had been benched indefinitely due to the fact that Sam and Callen still needed medical clearance and they were effectively one team member down. So they all sat at their desks doing paperwork looking at the other teams longingly as they shuffled in and out of the mission, jealous that they were getting the cases usually reserved for them.
Surely if they would just let her do something, get back to work, it would get better. Something had to make it easier to deal with the absence of what she realized had become her other half.
Kensi had agreed to take care of Monty for him, and he had reluctantly agreed after giving her a ration of crap about not even being able to keep a plant alive. After the first day she had started sending him daily doggie selfies for the proof of life that he had demanded
The second week only gets worse. The text messages from him are becoming further and further apart, she's starting to feel more desperate and getting even less sleep. It was sometime during that second week that she had started sleeping at his apartment. It startled her to realize that his place suddenly felt more like home than her apartment did. Surrounded by his things, his dog, and his scent it allowed her to feel a little more at ease.
The first few nights she slept on the sofa rationalizing to herself that he really hadn't invited her to stay and make herself at home in his apartment, by the third night staying there she found herself in his bedroom rifling through his dresser to find a shirt to sleep in. She lay down on his bed that night with Monty curled up next to her, and allowed herself to cry to really cry for the first time since she came home from Afghanistan.
She ached for him to be there and hold her in his arms and just tell her that everything was going to be okay. That night in his bed, literally surrounded by his scent, she cried herself to sleep. Every night after that she found herself climbing into his bed; in his shirt, with his dog in hopes of finding at least a few hours of sleep.
She brought Monty to work with her every day that week and he would curl up at her feet and sleep contentedly which earned her more than a few snide remarks from her teammates. The fear that gripped her heart only increased with each passing day.
By the third week, Sam and Callen were finally allowed back in the field which meant she made the third wheel. It also meant that she had to ride cooped up in the back of the Challenger, and Monty had to stay at home. As much as it felt good to be back in the field and out of the office away from the oppressive ringing of Granger's phone, it also added a new layer to Kensi's anxiety. Kensi was a mess, everyone saw it and she was past denying it.
As unfocused and anxious as Kensi was, when it came time for a case she became single-mindedly focused on the objective until the end. When the case was over everything would come flooding back in and wash over her. She felt like she was going to drown.
If her world had tilted that day three weeks, two days, and five hours ago when he left her; it had literally exploded five hours ago when an agent in distress signal had come across their phones. Granger had initially refused to send anyone to help; but when Kensi who was eerily composed had brought her gun and badge over and set it on his desk and the others, including Eric and Nell, had followed suit he quickly reconsidered.
They had spent the rest of that day searching in vain. All that was found was his phone, and a large amount of blood. When they noticed how pale Kensi had become they had all ordered her to go home, Nell drove her still clutching his shattered phone back to her apartment. When Nell pulled into her parking spot, Kensi finally realized where they were and simply shook her head.
"Take me to Deeks' apartment….please." She whispered tearfully.
"Uh…Kensi are you sure that's the best idea?" Questioned Nell cautiously.
"Yeah, um...," she swallowed down the fear and panic, "Monty….Monty is there and I, I need to take care of him."
Nell drove to his apartment in silence, glancing at her friend every few seconds. Kensi had tears streaming down her face, and appeared to be struggling to hold herself together. When they got to his apartment Kensi froze and just stared at the front door.
"Kens….do you want me to come in and stay with you? I can…you know….help take care of Monty."
"N…no….I just need to be alone….with Monty. Just please…..please call me if they f..f…find anything."
"You know I will." Nell smiled sadly and pulled her in for a lingering hug before letting her go and watching her walk hesitantly up to the door.
Kensi was almost scared to go in the door. She heard Monty whining and prancing on the other side and knew that while she might not want to she absolutely needed to. She forced herself to unlock the door and turn the knob. She turned around and waved to Nell before walking inside. She collapsed to the floor once inside and allowed the sobs to overtake her. Monty was licking her face and finally lay down in the floor with her.
Whether it was a few minutes or a few hours later she couldn't tell, but she pulled herself up off of the floor and took Monty outside. She trudged back to the bedroom pulling on a hoodie of his, and lay down on the bed. She stared at the ceiling for what felt like forever before exhaustion overtook her and she succumbed to a restless sleep.
"Princess….Kens….I'm home….Babe I'm safe."
Her eyelids flutter open slowly and realization sweeps over her before she practically flings herself onto him. He groans and grimaces as they tumble to the floor where she kisses him soundly before apologizing profusely about hurting him.
"If I'm going to get hurt, this is the best way to do it."
"Get up…come here…let me look at you." She says fingering his swollen face, she peels his shirt off of him and inspects the bruising and cuts on his chest and abdomen.
"I know you can't wait to get me naked Fern, but I should probably call the others and let them know I'm alive." He chuckles as he dials Callen's number.
He winces as Kensi's wandering fingers find somewhere particularly sensitive. "Yeah man, I'm fine. Just going to shower and sleep, I'll be in sometime tomorrow to fill everything out."
His next phone call is to Lieutenant Bates and is a whole lot less cordial. "No, I'm not coming in immediately to brief you….I'm not….I'm sore as hell and barely managed to make my way back home, no thanks to you or the LAPD. I'm going to shower and sleep in that order. I'll be in tomorrow morning to brief you and hand in my resignation….yes…I'm serious….I'm done working with you….I get no back up…I'm tired of ending up in situations like this with no one to have my back…..you leave my partner out of this…Damn it Bates….I don't care…I'm done….I've already signed and turned in my application with NCIS and was just guaranteed that it had already been approved so your threats are hollow my friend." He spits the last bit out sarcastically as he hangs up on the Lieutenant.
Kensi pulls him up off the bed towards the bathroom. He's so exhausted that he mindlessly follows her. She turns on the shower and lay out a towel for him. "Do you…uh do you need help?"
"Is that an offer to shower with me?" He smirks "because if it is, princess I'll probably have to take a rain check….I hurt so damned bad."
She smiles and walks out of the bathroom calling out over her shoulder, "I'll take you up on that," as she shuts the door behind her.
She busies herself with remaking the bed and getting herself ready for bed in one of his t-shirts before retrieving her first aid kit and setting out the supplies that she will need.
Fifteen minutes later Deeks emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but the towel. Kensi has a hard time taking her eyes off of him, but manages to look away while he puts on a pair of boxers. She crooks her finger at him and he walks over to the side of the bed. Kensi kneels on the floor in front of him as she gently applies ointment to his cuts and scrapes. If he wasn't so damned tired and hurting so damned bad there were things he'd rather she be doing with those fingers. When he tells her that she just smiles up at him and tells him that there will be other nights because she's not going anywhere….ever. He can literally feel his heart swell with love for this woman.
After she finishes tending to his injuries Kensi pulls back the covers on the newly made bed and pats the empty spot beside her. He gingerly crawls in behind her, wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. He feels her relax into him and finally allows himself to fully relax while inhaling her scent. He kisses the top of her head and tells her he loves her.
Three weeks, two days, six hours and thirty minutes after he leaves her for the last time, he tells her that he loves her for the first time. She hesitates only slightly before telling him that she loves him too, and Kensi's world while slightly battered and bruised is set right once again.