Hard Times
(Thursday Afternoon, June 27th)
"So, you can't find Ben either," Mal drags out, as Evie makes room on the bed and Mal sits next to her.
"He's not answering my texts, anyway," her eyes shift, and she smiles. "I thought I would kill some time at the library, but I guess not."
"He's not even here," Mal complains. "I thought we could spend sometime together, but…" She sighs, and rolls her eyes, "I know he's hurting, but this just really sucks."
Evie frowns, "Do you really think Belle… that his parents are okay?"
"No," Mal scoffs, before she eyes off. "But his mom was captured, and she was forced to stay here until she fell in love with… his father." She takes a breath and meets Evie's dark brown eyes, "Ben might as well be a child of rape. What would you have had me say?"
Evie's quiet, glancing down, before she comments, "Something that wouldn't make him feel crazy?" Mal looks away in realization. "Or alone," she adds on.
"Well, it's too late now," Mal moves on, before she eyes over Evie. "What about you? How are you doing?"
She shakes her head, "Can't we just focus on Ben?"
"Evie," Mal gives a look.
"I'm fine," she promises. "It's just…" She gulps, and tears flow into her eyes, "It's just been hard." She takes Mal's hands, and Mal looks down but doesn't reject her. "It's like, where are we going here? We have no home. We have no family."
"We have each other," Mal asserts.
"No one's going to want me," Evie cries. "No one's going to trust a villain with a job. There's no way I'm going to get through college… or high school, even."
"Eves," Mal stresses.
She half laughs, "And what am I supposed to do? Fine some guy who can tolerate me, pretend that I'm fine with settling down and having a family with someone I don't love?"
"E," Mal whispers, looking off as she shakes her head. "We're going to make it here."
"No, we're not," Evie shakes. "We— We—"
Mal moves in fast to kiss her, and Evie becomes speechless. "Evie," Mal eyes down, before she faces her. "This… I've seen this from you before."
"I know," Evie shakes her forehead. "I'm a mess."
"E. "Mal waits for her to meet her eyes, "You're not eating, are you?" Evie opens her mouth, and Mal notices the expression that comes before an excuse. "I know you're not, because you aren't thinking right." She widens her eyes, "Eves. You're stronger than this. You can't let a little thing like being disliked break you. If you ate, you'd know that."
Evie lowers her head at the harsh tone, before she whispers, "Mal… I can't right now."
"Can't eat?" Mal disbelieves.
"Can't talk about it," Evie shouts, and Mal's expression falters. She quiets, "I can't talk about this with you."
Mal shakes her head, "Why not?"
"Because. You don't understand."
She takes a breath, "Look. Evie. I want to understand." and then she readjusts her seating to appear attentive. "I can listen."
Evie shakes her head and squints, "Listening isn't going to get you to understand."
"Then how?" she frustrates.
"You can't," Evie leans forward, before she stares down at the blue covers. "I'm sorry. I really am, but you're not who I need right now." She faces her, "I can't talk to you about this."
Mal nods, "Alight." before she attempts to smile. "You can hash it out with your therapist tomorrow."
"Right," Evie's eyes shift in recollection, before she grins at her. "Tomorrow."
"It is good you're trying," Mal peers at her. "You know that."
"Yeah," Evie's expression falters. "I know."
When Evie opens the door Ben awkwardly smiles, "Hey. Uh. Did you still want to go to the library?"
Evie narrows her eyes at him, "Where were you?"
He wets his lips and slowly answers, "I went for a walk."
"A walk?" her eyebrows raise.
"Yes," he grins.
Evie shakes her head, "You're a horrible liar." before she places a hand on her hip. "Where were you? Really."
"I was," he holds.
"About to lie again?" she accuses.
He lets out a breath, "I was walking."
"But?" Evie questions.
"It was more like walking around main street," he cautiously states.
"And?"
Ben wets his lips, his eyes widening, "And then I went to the park, sat on a swing, and watched people."
"For seven hours?" Evie doubts.
He looks off, muttering, "I didn't even wake up until two."
When he looks at her again, she scans over him, "And you just spent the afternoon watching people?"
Ben frowns, "Yes."
She shakes her head, "Why?"
"Because," he slowly defends. "Sometimes it's just something I do sometimes when I can't stop thinking about things."
Evie eyes over him, "What things?"
"What does it matter?" his eyebrows furrow. "I just like to think. I like thinking."
"Okay," Evie unsurely replies.
Ben scratches the back of his head, "So, uh, did you want to go? To the library?"
She glances down, "I actually need to talk to you."
"Okay," he says, and she opens the door wider for him to come in. She shuts the door, and he faces her, "What's going on?" She looks away, and he leans forward, "Evie?"
She looks up at him, "I…" Evie looks off again and mumbles, "Things have been hard."
"Oh," Ben realizes, and Evie places a hand over her mouth as she sobs. He steps forward and places his hands on her shoulders, "Hey."
"It's just so hard," she cries.
It's quiet for a moment, "How can I help?"
Evie folds her arms, "Well." and Ben lets go of her. She faces him, "I was thinking…" before she wipes the tears from her face. "It's stupid."
"No," he denies, and she faces him. "I want to know."
She hesitates, "I was just thinking, maybe, we could have dinner together?"
"Dinner?" his eyebrows raise.
"Alone. Tonight," Evie clarifies, but when he doesn't respond she turns away. "Forget it. I knew it was stupid."
"No," he quickly asserts, and she turns to him again. "It's just…" He gives her a look, pleading for her to understand, and when she doesn't, he admits, "I've been having a hard time too." He shakes his head, "I don't know, um, how I will be. I probably won't help."
She quietly comments, "I just need to eat with someone who won't judge."
"Then why don't you eat by yourself?" he inquires.
Evie takes a deep breath, "Because, then I won't." and she meets his eyes. "I need someone to keep me accountable."
"Accountable?" he repeats.
"To make sure I eat," she clarifies. "And you're the only one I can trust with this."
"Okay," Ben nods. "I'll have dinner with you."
- Posted: 04/05/2019
- Megan Part of the reason why it took m so long to update the story last time is because my last post involved Ben reading his mother's journal and I hadn't finished writing it yet. After I finished the My Name is Belle Marie story I was able to accurately write the corresponding chapter in this fic. Another reason is that it's gotten to the point in the story where it can be read alongside Side Problems: In the Pack, so I'm working on multiple fics at once... Speaking of which, the idea behind the short stories was that I'd be able to finish chapters during lunch at work, but my next short story isn't a journal. It's going to be called The Dryad Nadia, and although the amount of chapters will be less, there may be a similar duration to the amount of pages her chapter. So, it may take longer or be less convenient that then Belle's journal. At some point I will also have Ben continuing writing in his mother's journal in a story called My Name is Ben Florian, which will start being written at a point in this story where I feel like he would start doing that... Complicated, so I get it if you don't get it. Point is, working on multiple stories which intertwine will make my consistency for specific stories less consistent. For the first Isle Problems fic I just had every character's plot done in chronological order, but now I'm trying to do it in chronological order for multiple fics so that each set of characters can be focused on and not jumbled in randomly... although, I bet I will fail, especially this weekend in the fic with Aziz and his family's problems, because everyone has problems. By the way, I did look into the story you told me about, but the description didn't really explain what it was about. Maybe you could give me an idea of the plot or tell me any topics that are covered?