Li: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter uploaded. I was busy and both my inspiration and motivation for doing this and my other stories have disappeared. I partially have them back. I've also been reading Fanfic stories of Portal (yes I'm a Portal fan now, deal with it) and Batman (I've been a Batman fan)… I get distracted WAY too easily. I have also been participating in my forum that someone FINALLY started participating in. Anyways, someone do the disclaimer.
Brazil: li43101 does not own anything except herself, her OC's, some jokes and her idea of doing this. If you think she owns anything else, THEN YOU ARE A STUPID B**** OR B*******!
Li: Ignore the cussing part. It is normal for Brazil.
Li: Hello, and welcome back. Sorry for the delay.
Hetalia cast: We sure enjoyed not doing this.
Li: I was not finished! Anyw-*stops when she see's Nyx as a kitten*
Nyx: … I do not know… late effect?
Li: … Yeah, let us go with that. Anyways, you said you had some dares and truths Nyx.
Nyx: I do. First dare is for Somalia.
Somalia: I hate the tone of that voice.
Nyx: Give poor France a hug and be nice to him. Please?
Somalia: I knew I hated that tone… *sighs* Fine. I will do it. For the rest of this chapter even! *turns and points to the camera* This is a one-time thing folks. If you expect me to be nice to him again, you have to dare me. *hugs France*
France: Honhonhon~
Somalia: *thinks: I already hate this dare…*
Nyx: Hungary, slap Austria!
Hungary: *slaps Austria*
Austria: OW! *rubs his cheek, looking at Hungary*
Hungary: It is not as if I have a choice.
Austria: True. Nevertheless, you can at least warn me next time!
Nyx: China, give me a hug!
China: Um… Okay? *hugs Nyx. Do not ask how he did it since they are both cats, but he somehow managed to hug her. Key word being somehow.*
Nyx: America, eat a pineapple!
America: Um… Okay? *starts eating a random pineapple*
Nyx: Brittan, listen to Adele and one direction for the next five chapters because you gave us both of them and I hate them all!
Both England's: What?!
Li: … I have no opinion in this. I have never listened to any of their songs.
England: … Fine! *starts listening to them through headphones and I-pod*
Somalia: Where are we even getting these I-pods and that laptop?
Li: I do not know…
Nyx: Belarus, hug Lithuania.
Belarus: … Okay? *hugs Lithuania*
Nyx: Germany, hug Romano!
Romano and Germany: WHAT?!
Somalia: I think the word 'what' is the most said word in, most likely, every Hetalia Truth or Dare fanfic ever made. And as you already and should remember, you two have no choice in this. Since you are both cats, this makes my job of making you do your dares much easier. *makes Romano and Germany hug* Let us continue! *throws a tomato in a random direction before Romano can scratch her*
Romano: *runs to the tomato*
Somalia: Works every time.
Nyx: Iceland, have some licorice! I love you!
Iceland: Thank you. *takes the licorice (don't ask how since he's a cat and has paws) and starts eating it*
Nyx: Time for the truths. China!
China: *nervously* Y-yes?
Nyx: I have a secret to tell you… I paired you and Lichtenstein *Switzerland's eye's narrow at this* in my Hunger games crossover, and it got more votes than anything else!
*Switzerland tries to tackle China and Nyx (for pairing his sister with someone in the first place) but SA grabs him by the collar and puts him in a cat carrier.*
Switzerland: Let me out!
SA: When you decided to NOT scratch China to death… over and over until his nine lives are up.
Nyx: Canada, is it true that Canadians are bad drivers?
Canada: Sort of…
Somalia: Normally I would pressure him into saying the answer, but this is Canada so I am sparing him.
Canada: T-thank you!
Somalia: No problem. Eleni, your turn.
Eleni: First, before I said that, "Greece is my little kitty now!" Anyways, my dares… *flings France and Turkey (who are now screaming like little girls) out a window. Luckily that window was opened* DON'T WORRY, CATS HAVE NINE LIVES!
Somalia: *trying hard not to laugh because of her dare, which she is silently cursing at*
Brazil: *frowning* No yaoi… DOES ANYONE WANNA LOOK AT PICTURES OF LOVINO IN A WEDDING DRESS?!
Hungary and Somalia: ME!
Nanu: *sarcastically* Shocker.
Eleni: *takes Russia's pipe, which is on the floor right next to him* I'm borrowing it…
Russia: Okay Comrade Eleni.
Eleni: *beats up Turkey, who sadly just walked back in with France* DON'T ATTACK MY COUNTRY!
Turkey: OW! SORRY FOR KEEPING THE TRADITION OF BEING RIVALS ALIVE!
Eleni: THAT'S NOT A GOOD EXCUSE! SWEDEN, WATCH THIS! *walks up to Finland, picks him up, hugs him and kisses his forehead, then rocks him to sleep*
*Do I even need to say what happens? … Okay fine. Sweden 'accidentally' made the camera break… again. Yeah… Anyways, Finland woke up and calmed Sweden down JUST as Somalia got the new camera ready. No one and nothing was received pain during the time the camera was broken and replaced by another camera that we seem to have an infinite supply of. We now return to your regularly schedule program.*
Li: Sorry about that, Sweden had another one of his… moments… Anyways, let's continue on before things get… worse…
Brazil: *smashing the tomato garden (outside) while Eleni sits on Romano and Spain (Spain's crying and Romano's yelling/cussing) to stop them from murdering her* DIE MOTHAF***ERS!
Somalia: *looking at Li* To… Late.
SA: This is going to be the most random chapter ever… Nah, probably not.
Eleni: *gives Japan tuna* Here gataki! twra tha pancreatic ellada, iaponia!
Greece: *eyes widen, and if he was human, I bet he would be blushing… assuming he understands what she said… What did she say? I don't speak that language.*
Somalia: Okay, I only got the word here. What f***ing language is that?!) I can't understand a single word of it!
Eleni: *sighs* I said "here kitty. now your gonna marry greece, japan."
Japan: *looking incredibly embarrassed.*
Li: I'm sorry to speed this up, but we need to save that for later. I would like to get as much Truths and Dares into this as possible.
Eleni: *pouts* Fine… China.
China: *nervous* Y-yes?
Eleni: … YOU SOUND MORE LIKE A GIRL THAN I DO!haha!
China: HEY, ARU!
Brazil: Look dads! You like my hair! *Why didn't we notice that her previously brown hair is now black with red tips and bangs earlier? Seriously, it's an attention grabber!* I dyed it!
Spain: You look so pretty!
Romano: I honestly don't like it, but I can't do a f***ing thing about this!
Brazil: *glares at Romano* Anyways… IGGY YOU HAVE TO WEAR THIS! *holds up red mini skirt, combat boots, fingerless gloves and a corset (all were strangely cat-size)*ahh sweet, sweet black mail…
Eleni: Omg, arties gonna wear that? GET THE F***ING CAMRAS!
Somalia: Way ahead of you! *laughing as she's setting a camera up*
England: First, DON'T CALL ME IGGY! Second, what did I do to deserve this?!
Somalia: You were born representing a country. Now GET INTO THAT BEFORE I MAKE YOU!
England: FINE! You don't need to yell. *gets into the outfit and cursing. No one else is really helping because they're all laughing.*
Somalia: *recovering from laughing* Okay. The first review of this chapter is from a favorite reviewer of mine, livvykitty:
*brings America back early* Sorry guys, but he fainted after a fanboy attack. I took him to meet the Vocaloid's. He actually lasted longer than I thought. Most would faint after an hour or so. Anyway, I had to leave before Luka rammed me with her tailor scissors… She doesn't like me for some reason…
SA: I got him. *sets America on the couch*
Li: If Prussia is the Prince of Evil, then Germany must be his servant! You remember which sin you gave to each? Tell them each of their stories (EXCEPT WRATH. It isn't done yet…).
*Skipping ahead to after telling them the stories of the sins except for wrath since the song hasn't been invented yet. I'm also skipping the reactions because we need to space and no one said anything about seeing their reactions.*
Both Englands: You are absolutely wrong! But you did dodge major bullet… If you actually DID get the right answer, Rin and Len would have tried to kill you!
Fem!England: Before I say anything, can I PLEASE be called something else besides Fem!England? It's getting annoying.
Li: Okay then. Review what names you want for the Fem!Axis and Fem!Allies because I'm tired of putting Fem! in front of their names!
Fem!England: Anyways, something actually happened after the show when I and my male counterpart were discussing this.
Somalia: Roll the clip!
*Video starts*
We see England and Fem!England in a part of the mansion with a big window like the ones you see in Bruce Wayne's mansion (that's right, I went there). England pacing the floor reading over a piece of paper to himself. His female self is leaning up against a desk looking at even more papers in her hands. England suddenly stops pacing and snaps his fingers.
"I finally got it! I solved the first mystery! How's the second mystery coming?" He asked, looking at his other self. She looked over grinning.
"I actually just figured it out." She said. England was about to hurry over to her when two figures crashed through the window, quite literally. One of them was a blond-haired boy who looked 13 or 14. He was wearing what looked like a tuxedo, but only one arm was visible. The other arm seemed to be missing…
The other figure was a blond-haired girl who looked the same age as the boy. She was wearing a black dress that ended at about her knees and black shoes. She was also wearing a headband with a white ribbon on it. They both looked unhappy, and ready to take the violent way.
"What the bloody h***!?" England yelled when they landed. When he looked at the two, his eyes widened into shock. Same with Fem!England.
"W-what do you want? Who are you!?" She asked, very frightened yet demanding. The boy extended his only arm out, as if wanting something.
"We want the papers. Now." He said, flexing his figures towards him. England took a fighting stance, ready to protect his other self (I guess he's feeling like James Bond or something like that).
"And what if we don't?" He asked bravely. The girl took something out of her pocket. A knife.
"Then we'll be forced to get them ourselves." She said, pointing the sharp end of the knife at England. Fem!England, looking frightened, cautiously walked over to the boy and held the papers out to him while her arms were shaking. England, now knowing that a fight wasn't going to end very good for them, handed his paper over. The boy took the papers, looked over to the girl, and they both nodded. The girl put her knife away, and they both smirked at the Englishmen and women.
"I think you already know who we are." They said right before they jumped out of the window and disappearing into the night (or whatever time of day it was). They left a note behind. England cautiously picked it up and read it out loud.
"In case you don't know who we are, we're Haruka (played by Len in the song The Riddler Who Can't/Won't Solve Riddles) and Akira (played by Rin in the song The Riddler Who Can't/Won't Solve Riddles). No seriously, if you haven't figured that out then you're not as smart as you say and are morons- HEY!" England said, getting angry at the last part.
*Video ends*
Fem!England: W-when did that camera get there?!
Somalia: I set it up. I also had cameras where I saw the papers in both of your hands. Of course, when I set the cameras up I didn't think I would get blackmail as dangerous as this. Is it also bad to mention that I remember everything on those pieces of papers?
England: You call that blackmail!? You now know what Fem!England knows what happened in the second mystery and what I know about the first mystery!
Fem!England: Great. Now when they see this chapter, they are going to kill all three of us.
Somalia: Like h*** they are going to kill us. We are countries, we cannot die by poison or knifes or anything like that… can we?
SA: Let;s just leave that question up to the reviewers.
Japan: Are ninjas number one? :3
Japan: Of course they are.
Somalia: I agree with this, since I have ninja skills!
Nanu: You will be surprised on how she learns just by watching something from movies and T.V. shows with ninjas in them.
Denmark: They say mermaids are Danish… Does that mean you can turn into a mermaid at will?
Denmark: First, the term for male mermaids is mermen, and second I'm not a merman or mermaid!
Norway: Since when did you know terms?
Denmark: Shut up!
Sweden: What do you think about Denmarks weird law that says that a Dane can hit Swedes with a stick if you cross the Oresund sea while its frozen? (This is an actual law…)
Sweden: *looks at Denmark*
Denmark: … I should run, should I?
Sweden: *nods very slowly*
Denmark: *runs to the hills with Sweden on his tail (almost literally)*
America: *starts waking up* What happened?
Somalia: And sleeping America has finally awoken. Just in time too.
SA: That was a terrible pun.
Somalia: Well it's not my fault I can't think of good puns with a famine and an attack by pirates at my shores all at once!
America: (When he gains consciousness) You okay, man?
America: Yeah, I'm fine. What happened though?
Alice: According to Kitty, you fainted because of fanboy overload.
America: Oh… I still got to see the Vocaloid's!
England: How the h*** does someone get tricked into thinking that SPAGETTI grows on trees? ! (Also an actual event. Most of Britian was duped into thinking PASTA grew on TREES)
That's it!
Somalia: Wow, that is the saddest thing I've heard. *looks at England* How did most of your citizens get tricked into thinking pasta grew on trees?! That's just stupid!
England: … Um…
Italy: PASTA~ I actually thought that pasta grew on trees so while I was in England when I was caught one time, I told people that pasta grew on trees!
Chad: That explains everything. Anyways, this next review is from Ohio-
America: Hi Ohio! Any chance you can save me from this place?!
Alice: Dad, even if the greatest super hero came to save you, I doubt you'll be able to leave. Sorry to be a downer, but it's true.
America: *sad* At least I'm not doing the Caramelldansen.
France: OH SHUT UP!
I dare everyone to admit that I actually AM the roller coaster capital of the world! HAHAHA! *note this had to be translated to normal speech due to slushy drinking *
Ohio, Taylor Jones (Daddy's sidekick)
Russia: I can definitely see the similarities between you two, you're both arrogant people who have hero complexes, talk while stuffing your facing with hamburgers, and drinking those slushies until you get brain freeze.
America: HEY!
Everyone: … Ohio is the roller coaster capital of the world…
Poland: Remember that we, like, totally have no choice but to do this…
Everyone else: Shut up Poland!
Li: Also, there's a P.S. with this review.
America: Really?
Somalia: Li isn't one to lie.
P.S. Romano why are you always mad at people why can't you hide your anger like other nations D:
Germany: That's a very good question.
Romano: Shut up potato b******! Besides, if I hold all the anger in, I'll have an angry outburst that will end very badly.
Spain: I actually seen one of those before. Let's just say an man that was unfortunate enough to be near Romano was in the hospital with broken arms for stealing Romano's tomatoes.
Somalia: Talk about a moron. Anyways, this next review is from MissSerendipity1235:
Hi! My dare is that my OC,Clairessa who is 8 years old and is t he personification of Beverly Hills, has to dress in a Toddler&Tiaras Purple and White dress while My daddy(America)DEALS with make Uncle England becoming one with Russia!(Note:He HAS to deal with by:Dressing her up,Making up a Routine,AND making Japan film,Daddy its YOUR fault for making the show!Are you wondering why California is STUCK on doing pagents? Yeah, thought so.)
Everyone: ... I'm confused.
Li: Um... Since when did we allow another OC on this show? And also, I honestly don't like pageants.
SA: That would be 'not since Brazil came with Eleni, which was last chapter'. We didn't even know there was an OC for Beverly Hills. And no one was wondering why California is suck on doing pageants. I honestly don't care as long as I'm not in it.
Somalia: I take back any possible comment I made on a review being confusing because this couldn't get more confusing.
Li: I honestly don't get this review... I'm too confused by it.
America: *trying to make sense of what he's supposed to do, along with England*
Russia: Um... I'm honestly don't get this confusing review. I get England becoming one with me but the rest is just too confusing, da?
*Everyone nods in agreement, with Carol yelling 'temporally word peace again'. It was then that Prussia and Nyx started to have a cat fight, literally. Everyone stared at them for suddenly fighting like that.*
SA: ... So who wants to take a break?
Everyone else: Me!
SA: Okay then. Be back here within an hour or I'm coming to get you.
Everyone else: Yes ma'am!
*Later*
England: Um… Somalia, why are you boarding up the all the windows… with steel?
Somalia: Do YOU want to get your heart stabbed out with a knife or have poison unknowingly slipped into your drink?
England: … I am going somewhere safe now…
There you have this chapter. Somalia want's help in making the mansion safe in case Haruka and Akira try to come again. They probably will once this chapter gets up.
Somalia: I am going to need the most protection since I saw the info for both the mysteries… Someone help me.
SA: The next chapter is going to be almost as long at this one. Maybe even longer… I can tell by all the dares and truths that we did not do. But seriously, we would like Somalia and both England's to be ALIVE, so we would appreciate the help in making sure they don't die… somehow. Also, sorry MissSerendipity1235 for not doing your dare (which I'm still completely confused by), but the review seems bunched up together thus making it confusing to understand... I might never get it...