And the winner of the Clew poll is….The Way She Smiles when She Sees Me! So that will be the story replacing this one. It was super, super close however, the winning story edged out by 2 votes. And therefor You Ought to Have Me on Your Mind which came in second will replace The Way She Smiles when She Sees Me when that ends. And All at Once You Come Alive & Feel Connected will replace You Ought to Have Me on Your Mind when that ends.
A big thank you to everyone that voted. The poll is now down but there are likely to be polls in the future. Okay now onto the second to last chapter for this story, hope you all enjoy!
Ch. 14 I Hardly Remember to Breathe
(ADAM)
"Hey Bianca," Eli greets her when she sits down with us, "want some pizza?"
"Thanks," she says taking a slice.
"She's going to come back to my house," I tell Eli.
"Cool," he grins.
We finish the pizza, Bianca doesn't say anything just looks at her pizza and eats it slowly. We take a taxi back, dropping Eli off first and then it takes Bianca and I to my place.
"Come on, my parents are home we should go talk to them," I comment when we go through the basement door.
"Your parents won't want me here, Drew won't want me here," she replies.
"I already sent a text to Drew telling him to bring Owen home with them. I just didn't say why, but I know Owen, Drew and Clare will be happy to see you. I'm also sure my parents will be cool with you staying the night," I reassure Bianca. She doesn't look very reassured, but she does follow me upstairs.
"Bianca," Mom says surprised. She and Dad were watching the news, but they turn it off when they see us.
"I found her downtown and convinced her to come back with me. She needs a place to stay tonight," I inform my parents.
"Well, if Clare and Drew are sleeping in the basement I suppose you can sleep in his bed, if it's alright with Drew of course," Mom says.
"What about your things? Your aunt?" Dad questions.
"Haven't spoken to my aunt, I'm not sure I can go back there except to get some of the stuff I left. She was ready to toss me out anyway since I'm old enough. The rest of my stuff is at Vince's, but I don't really want to go back there either."
"Adam, check the upstairs hall closet for an extra toothbrush and I think we still have a pair of Gracie's pajamas around here," Mom remarks.
Mom and I go upstairs, I return first and give Bianca a toothbrush. Then Bianca and I go down to the basement, she sits on the sofa and I turn on the TV, I figure if she wants to talk she will. Mom brings down the pajamas and runs them through the dryer for a few minutes to freshen them, she tells Bianca they're in there and returns upstairs. Bianca and I watch TV until the sliding glass door opens and my brother walks in with Clare, Owen is just behind them. They're talking but they all freeze when they see Bianca, and I turn the TV off.
"B!" Owen exclaims rushing over and hugging her tightly. "Thank-fucking-goodness you're alive and safe. Vince was arrested. Where the hell have you been? Why'd you run from us when we were looking for you?" Owen asks in one breath.
"I've been with Vince, I ran from you because of him," Bianca tells us as Drew turns on a light.
"I'm glad you're safe Bianca," Clare says.
"She's going to stay the night here," I inform them.
"Yeah, but I don't know where I'm going to go after tonight. Even if I go back to my auntie's I can't stay there, and if I go back to Vince's place…"
"No way," Owen cuts her off.
"You're not doing that, we'll figure something out," Drew speaks up.
"You can move in with us, we have the den it can be easily turned into a room for you," Owen tells her.
"Why'd you go back to Vince?" Drew asks with pain laced in his voice.
"Drew, let's go talk to Mom and Dad. Maybe we can all sleep in the basement tonight, I'm sure we'd all feel a lot better," I interject before Bianca can speak.
"Yeah, good idea," Drew nods and looks at Clare, "be right back." He kisses Clare on the cheek and we go upstairs.
"Owen's here and he thinks Bianca can live with him, but since it's getting late we were thinking all of us could spend the night in the basement?" I ask my parents.
"Well, I guess if Clare and Drew don't do anything when they sleep down there alone the five of you won't be doing anything. You boys better sleep on the floor and give the girls the sofa, take down blankets and pillows, you might need the sleeping bags from the garage," Dad replies.
"And have Owen check with his parents," Mom adds. Drew and I nod before going downstairs.
"We can all sleep here, but you need to clear it with your parents Owen," Drew tells them.
Owen gets out his phone and sends a text, presumably to his parents. "Done. I told them I was crashing at your place," Owen says putting his phone back in his pocket. "Now, where the hell have y…" Owen begins looking at Bianca, but Clare interrupts.
"We should get our beds set up and then, if she wants to, Bianca can tell us about the past few weeks."
Bianca gives Clare a grateful look as she stands up, she gets her pajamas from the dryer and takes them into the washroom with her toothbrush. Clare tells Drew she's going to use his room to get ready for bed. Drew almost follows her upstairs, but Owen and I drag him out to the garage. While they get the sleeping bags from the garage I go upstairs, I change into a pair of sweats but that's about it, I fully intend to sleep just like this with everyone here. I do grab all the pillows and blankets from my room and take them downstairs. Drew comes up and gets spare blankets and pillows from the closet before we return downstairs. When Clare comes downstairs ready for bed she's holding the pillows and blankets from Drew's bed that weren't already downstairs. We set up the sofa and three beds on the floor, Owen borrows pajama bottoms from Drew to sleep in and we find him a toothbrush he can use. When we're all ready for bed we look at Bianca.
"I didn't think I had any choice, Vince threatened to go after you again Drew. He said he'd do worse and he'd do whatever he wanted to Clare," Bianca says looking down. Hearing Vince's threat against Clare my brother puts his arms around her. "I stayed, I stayed out of fear and did whatever he wanted me to."
"What do you mean whatever he wanted you to?" I question.
"Selling drugs for him, being his girlfriend…sort of."
"I don't think you can consider it dating him if you didn't want to," Clare speaks up.
"You had sex with him," Drew states flatly.
"Not exactly by choice," Bianca replies.
"That would be rape," I comment.
"He kept an eye on me, if he wasn't watching one of his cronies was. That's why I stopped going to school, that's why I ran when you two saw me. That's where I've been these last few weeks."
"Vince has been arrested and you'll come live with me," Owen states with a tone of finality.
"Yeah, and go back to school," I say.
"I've missed weeks, even if Principal Simpson lets me back I'll have to go to summer school," Bianca argues with a bitter tone.
"Not necessarily, how were your grades before you stopped coming to school?" Clare questions.
"Pretty good," Bianca says.
"Then I'm sure Mr. Simpson will let you back, and you can probably talk to your teachers. Ask if you can do an independent project to make up the work you missed. It will be a lot of work, you'd have to do the independent projects and your current work but I'm sure you can do it," Clare suggests.
"Great idea, thanks Clare," Bianca grins.
"Come on, let's try and get some sleep. I'll put a movie on," I remark.
"I'm going to sleep on the floor, you and Bianca take the sofa, I'll be right here," Drew tells Clare.
Everyone settles into their beds and I put a movie on. We watch the movie and I put on another, but I fall asleep before it's halfway over. I sleep soundly until I feel Drew thrashing around beside me.
"Drew, wake up," I whisper shaking him. He's not waking up but Clare's scream does that, in fact it wakes us all up. Drew jumps up and sits next to her, holding her tightly.
"You're safe, I'm here," Drew tells her. We all hear Clare release a breath and then begins to sob.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake everyone up," she apologizes wiping her eyes.
"It's okay Clare, Drew was having a nightmare too," I tell her.
"You want to talk about it?" Drew asks.
Clare shakes her head and then whispers something to my brother. He smiles, lies down behind her and puts his arms around her. I'm sure they intend to sleep like that, but now that we're all awake I put another movie on. We fall asleep again and this time everyone stays asleep until late the next morning. I wake up first and go upstairs, Bianca comes up a few minutes later.
"Morning, you want some coffee?" I ask her.
"Thanks," she says sitting down while I get her some coffee, "Drew and Clare, do they have nightmares like that often?"
"Yeah, pretty much since Drew got beat up and Clare was there. They started sleeping in the same place and haven't spent too many nights apart. They definitely sleep better when they're together. Now that you're back and Vince has been arrested hopefully they'll stop having them all together," I comment giving Bianca the coffee and getting out the cream and sugar.
"They both had a nightmare last night," Bianca points out.
"I know, but their nightmares involved Eli or Clare's dad or something else sometimes too. Trust me, it's gotten better, for a while they were lucky to get a couple hours of sleep a night."
"Drew never should have never gotten involved with me, with any of this," Bianca says remorsefully.
"I wish Drew had never been beaten up, and that Clare hadn't been witness to it but I'm sure Drew doesn't regret being with you. I know he doesn't regret saving you from Anson. He was angry at first, and hurt, but he and Clare are good for each other and happy together. Now that you're safe and Vince is in jail things feel like they're right again," I say and Bianca smiles.
We drink our coffee for a few minutes and then Owen comes upstairs. He has Bianca's clothes and he gives them to her.
"The lovebirds are still asleep. I thought we'd head to my house and talk to my parents," Owen says.
"Yeah, good idea," Bianca says finishing her coffee.
"My clothes are still in Drew's room, I'll meet you back here in a few minutes," Owen says before going upstairs.
"Adam, thanks for forcing me back, for reminding me that people care," Bianca says then kisses my cheek, "I've been saved by both Torres brothers." Bianca goes upstairs and I touch my cheek where she kissed me.
(CLARE)
"You two actually look like you slept," Jake remarks when Drew and I walk into school holding hands. Adam is with us as well since I slept at their house last night.
"We did, two whole nights without nightmares," I grin.
"Yeah, and they aren't telling the parents because they're afraid the parents won't let them sleep in the same place anymore," Adam comments and Jake laughs.
"Hey, there's Bianca she looks happy," Jake remarks and we look over to see Bianca.
On Saturday Owen took Bianca home with him, his parents agreed she could move in. They got her stuff from her aunts place but she left whatever she had at Vince's place. They let Fitz know she was okay and the three friends celebrated that night, Owen told us yesterdat she was all moved in and they'd hung out with Fitz.
"So, does the smile mean you're back?" Adam questions.
"It does, Principal Simpson said I was welcome back and he was really glad to see me. He called all of my teachers in and we spoke to all of them. Each of them is willing to give me an independent project to make up what I missed. I have to spend lunch with one of them every day starting tomorrow to catch up and discuss the independent project. Thanks for the idea Clare, I'd be in summer school if not for you," Bianca grins.
"No problem, I'm really glad you're safe and back at school with us," I smile.
"I hear you're living with Owen," Jake remarks.
"Yeah, they converted the den into a room for me, it's nice and I've always liked Owen's family," Bianca replies.
Owen finds us, and we hang out talking until the bell, we split up to get to our homeroom classes. Dave, Adam and I talk about our project due on Friday. We decide to work on it tomorrow at lunch since Dave has basketball practice after school. And tonight Adam, Drew, Owen and I have our first Jeet Kune Do class. I feel pretty good this morning, Bianca is back and safe, she's living with Owen, Vince goes before the judge this morning and I'm looking forward to the self-defense class this evening. At lunch Adam and I find Drew, Owen and Bianca, it's a nice day and we decide to walk to The Dot for lunch. Just as we're leaving school we see Audra pull up, I know she works for the school board, but something tells me she's not here for that and I take Drew's hand.
"What's going on?" Drew asks as him Mom approaches us.
"I just came from the courthouse, I couldn't get in, but your dad was able to. Vince was convicted on one count of breaking his restraining order. The good news is he's on his way to jail right now," Audra smiles.
"What's the bad news?" I question feeling a tightness in my chest, and a sharp breath holds itself in my throat waiting for the bad news.
"He was only sentenced to six weeks," Audra informs us.
I feel my stomach open to a pit, that sharp breath in my throat cuts its way through my lips. My grip on Drew's hand gets tighter, angry salt water pools in my eyes. "Six weeks? That's it? Just long enough for him to stew in his anger and get out more enraged and filled with more hate than before, why even bother filing a restraining order?"
"I know it isn't very much, it's his first offense of breaking a restraining order. Unfortunately, at this point there just isn't solid evidence of Vince doing anything else illegal, if there had been his sentence would be longer. Don't get discouraged, he is spending some time in jail and Bianca is back and safe now. Remember the good things," Audra says before kissing each of her sons on the forehead. "Will you be sleeping at our place again tonight Clare?" Audra questions. I nod, I didn't even think about it, right now I'm just biting hard on my lip so I don't cry. "I'll see you three at home then," Audra says and gets back in her car.
"Let's go eat," Owen comments after a moment.
"I'm not that hungry now, and I don't feel like walking to The Dot any longer," I shake my head.
"I'll drive us," Owen replies.
We go to his car, Bianca takes the passenger seat while I take the back between the Torres brothers. Owen makes the very short drive to The Dot and we all get out of the car.
"Why do you all look so unhappy?" Fitz asks when we come in.
"Vince saw the judge this morning, his sentence for breaking the restraining order Clare has on him, six weeks. He'll be out at the end of May," Bianca sighs.
"That's stupid, what's the point?" Fitz says angrily.
"That's how I feel. Why even have a restraining order?" I lament again.
None of us are very hungry now, Drew and Adam both order shakes, I share Drew's and Bianca shares Adam's. Owen gets a drink and a basket of fries we all nibble at. A few minutes before the bell is going to ring we get back in Owen's car and return to school. Adam and I go to third period still unhappy, I was feeling good this morning, now I'm just feeling down and somewhat hopeless. Alli and K.C. see our glum faces, so we tell them about Vince. I really do try to be positive for the afternoon, but it doesn't work, all I can think is that in six weeks Vince is going to get out of jail hating us more than when he went in. After school Adam and I wait just inside the doors for his mom to come get us.
"I'll be home after basketball practice, Owen will just be getting out of hockey practice he'll bring me home and stay to take us all to class," Drew tells me. Owen nods to confirm this statement.
"We heard about Vince's light sentence, that's crazy that six weeks is all he gets," Jake comments.
"I'm going to The Dot, I'll do homework there and Fitz can take me home when he's off," Bianca says to Owen.
"Don't walk over there alone," Owen tells her.
"Katie and I are going that way too, we have a project, we'll take my truck, the three of us can fit," Jake speaks up.
Drew gives me a gentle kiss before he goes to the locker room for basketball practice. Jake walks out with Katie and Bianca. A few minutes later Audra pulls up, so Adam and I go to the van and get in. As Audra begins driving us home she tells me she spoke to my mom and told her about Vince. A large part of me is really hoping Vince gets stabbed or something in jail so he never comes out. When we get to the Torres house Adam and I go down to the basement, he turns on the TV and we begin on our homework. Even with Vince on both our minds we manage to finish our homework before Drew and Owen even get home from practice. They start on their homework; Adam and I help Drew with his English homework. With our help Drew finishes before Audra calls us up for dinner.
"So, you kids have your first class tonight?" Omar asks as we begin eating. It's more than just idle conversation. I can't decide if he brought it up to remind us we'll be learning to defend ourselves or to try and get our minds off Vince. Whatever the reason it doesn't help as my mind has done nothing but think about Vince stewing in jail since Audra came to the school this afternoon.
"Yeah, from seven to eight, Owen will drive us there and back," Drew says.
"Are the classes only one night a week?" Audra questions.
"Mondays and Wednesdays from seven to eight," Adam answers.
"I can drive every time, I'll either bring Drew home after our practices or we can all go to my house after school," Owen comments.
"Thank you, Owen, that would be very helpful. How was Bianca's first day back?" Audra asks.
"She did well in her classes, she'll be meeting with her teachers all week to discuss independent projects and catching up with the work she missed," Owen replies.
"Clare, Adam how is that project for civics with Dave coming along?" Audra queries. She seems to be desperate to keep the conversation going while also trying to steer clear of conversation about Vince.
"Good, we'll be done by Friday," I reply.
That's how the rest of dinner conversation goes, after dinner I go down to the basement to change for class. Adam and Drew are using their rooms, Owen changes in the basement washroom when I'm done. We don't have to leave for class just yet but we decide to leave now and get there a little early. In the first class we learn all about the Jeet Kune Do origins and philosophies, the salutation and then the three stances.
"I hope we learn more next class, if that's all I know in six weeks when Vince is released I'm not going to feel like I can protect myself," I remark as Owen begins driving us all back to the Torres house.
"We have eleven more classes before his scheduled release I'm sure we'll know some basics by then," Adam says trying to be encouraging.
"I hope so," Drew comments.
Owen drops us at the Torres house, we thank him for driving and go in through the front door. We greet Audra and Omar, talk about first class for a few minutes then we go down to the basement. Adam turns on the TV and we watch silently, we hear the Torres parents go to bed, they don't come down to tell us to get to bed or anything. After they go to bed I get up to make sure the sliding glass door is locked. We watch TV for hours, sleep does not come easy, but eventually we all fall asleep on the sofa and to the TV. I don't know how long I sleep but I wake up to Drew screaming. My eyes shoot open, I lock eyes with Adam before we both start shaking Drew.
"Drew wake up. Drew you're safe, wake up," Adam and say together shaking him.
"GET AWAY," Drew yells once more and then his eyes shoot open.
"You're safe, we all are," I assure Drew. He looks at me, looks at Adam, back at me and then kisses me as he releases a breath.
Drew doesn't need to tell us what his nightmare was about because we know. It was the same nightmare I was in the middle of when Drew's screaming woke us up. None of us sleep for the rest of the night. It's going to be a long six weeks.
(DREW)
Adam beats me out of the car and opens the front door of the Edwards home. For once we're not here because of something bad. Clare didn't have a nightmare, it's just now evening, a crisp May evening. It's been almost four weeks since Vince was sentenced, Clare and I spent that first week after the sentencing sleeping in the same place still. After that we slowly began sleeping in our own beds, one night a week and then two and now we're up to three. We still called each other every night, often falling asleep on the phone together, but Vince was in jail, Bianca was safe and back at school, and Vince's gang hadn't been seen since before he was sentenced. After a few nights of neither of us having nightmares our parents wanted us to sleep in our own beds.
We spent all night on the phone together the first night we tried. We didn't sleep, we just talked all night. Days went by, nothing bad happened, things were looking up and we, all of us, were happy. Clare and I were like a normal couple, we hung out, kissed in the halls, even went on a couple of dates. Adam was spending a lot of time with Bianca, helping her with her independent projects. He and Eli were good friends again, my brother's friendship with Clare was stronger than ever. Eli was doing a lot better, I wouldn't say he and I were friends, but we were okay now, he seemed to have accepted that Clare and I were staying together. He was on meds and keeping himself very busy by taking a film course at Centennial and classes at a gym five days a week. Owen, Fitz and Bianca were hanging out a lot, Fitz was working of course but we'd hung out with him a few times. He had apologized to Adam even.
Owen was star of the hockey team and had taken them to victory. After that he tried to date Anya, it only lasted a couple weeks, was kind of disastrous, but he went after the girl he liked. Of course, Owen was keeping busy with us at the Jeet Kune Do classes twice a week, we even practiced on the weekends. Jake and Katie were still dating, when he wasn't with her he could usually be found at Clare's house helping his Dad. In fact, that's why we were all here on this Saturday evening. The remodeling of the downstairs was complete and Helen was throwing a party to celebrate. Last night on the phone Clare told me there was another reason for the party, but couldn't tell me what.
"Hi," Clare greets us when we come in. She hugs my brother and says hi to our parents before greeting me with a kiss. "I'll take your coats, go look at the new downstairs," Clare says. Jake comes over, he helps Clare with our coats while the rest of us go into the living room.
"Helen, the downstairs looks amazing," Mom smiles.
"It's wonderful, a fresh start. It feels like a new home but it's the home Clare grew up in," Helen grins just as Clare and Jake come back down the stairs.
"Jake you and you and your Dad did a wonderful job," Dad tells him.
"Jake learns fast, he's always been good at building," Glen says proudly.
"He takes after his dad," Helen smiles kissing Glen's cheek.
Adam and I go into the kitchen to get something to eat, Clare comes with us but when she sees Owen and Bianca pull up she leaves us to greet them and take their coats. It isn't long before Helen and Clare's downstairs is full of their friends. Katie is here, Glen and Jake's closest friends from their old town, some of Helen's friends from the hospital where she works. Everyone is admiring Jake and Glen's handiwork, talking and eating. All of us teenagers have migrated to one corner, we're talking about school and summer.
"Everyone, can we have your attention please?" Helen calls and everyone quiets down. "We did throw this party to show off our incredible new downstairs thanks to all the work Jake and Glen did. Most of you know that Glen and I have been dating, and this party was also to announce that Glen and I are engaged."
With this announcement everyone cheers, and now I know what Clare meant when she said the party was for another reason. Helen and Glen are being congratulated by everyone else, so all of us look at Clare and Jake.
"How do you guys feel about it?" Adam asks.
"We're happy, our parents are truly happy. Jake and Glen have already started moving in," Clare says.
"Yeah, I've always been an only child, but I think I'll be pretty good big brother," Jake grins and Clare giggles.
"You already are," she says.
"I'm going to go congratulate your parents, I'll be right back," I tell Clare kissing her cheek.
She smiles, and I make my way through the crowd, after congratulating Glen and Helen I start to make my way back to Clare. She's surrounded by other people though and I can't get to her. Bianca's standing in the little hallway that leads to the garage, so I go over to talk to her.
"Clare looks really happy about her mom's engagement," Bianca smiles.
"Yeah, she is and Jake's a good guy, he'll make a good brother."
"You're a good brother too, I see a lot of your influence in Adam."
"You two have been spending a lot of time together."
"He's a good influence, he's really smart and creative. I was thinking about asking him to the Junior Prom, but I wanted to see how you felt about it?" Bianca asks.
"I think it's a good idea, are you asking him as a friend?"
"Actually, I like him. He's honest, he's funny, he's really smart, he's kind and loyal. I know I gave him hell when I first found out he was trans. I'm sorry for that, I didn't understand, I still don't completely, but I know he's a guy. I know you're happy with Clare, and I'm happy for both of you, she's good for you, and you're good for her. I just don't want me dating your brother to be awkward, for any of us, since you and I dated."
"I'm not sure you can call the two disastrous months we were together dating. I don't think it will be awkward, unless we make it that way, just be good to my brother."
"I promise," Bianca smiles.
The two of us rejoin the other teenagers near the backdoor and I wrap my arms around Clare. We stay at the party until it begins to break up, Adam and I leave with our parents and say goodnight. When we get home our parents go up to get ready for bed, Adam and I go down to the basement to play video games for a while.
"Bianca asked me to prom," Adam tells me as I turn on the TV.
"I know, she told me she was going to," I grin, "you said yes right?"
"Yeah, I did but I wasn't sure how you would feel about it.
"I think you'll be good for her, and her for you. Bianca and I barely dated, I only went out with her because after Alli she was the only girl that would even look at me. In the two months we were together I took shrooms and got high for the first time, cut class, we killed a guy. Bianca brought me down, I let her, I didn't think either of us were worth more, and neither did she. You definitely bring out the best in her, and I've seen a new pride in you lately. I think you should give this thing with Bianca a shot."
Adam grins and we settle back to play video games. We play for a couple of hours and just as I'm settling into bed I call Clare. We talk about her mom's engagement, she and Jake really are happy about it and she likes having Jake and Glen at the house. She tells me the wedding is set for the end of the summer at the house, a small wedding with close friends. As usual we talk for hours falling asleep on the phone. I can still hear her breathing when I wake up late the next morning.
"Good morning Beautiful, any plans this on this sunny Sunday?"
"Mmmm church, I think Mom wants to go look at dresses," Clare yawns. "It's later than I thought, I'd better hang up and see if we're going to church."
"Talk to you later," I reply and hang up.
I get up and stretch, scratching my head as I make my way to the washroom. After using the washroom I pull on my robe, leaving my room just as Adam leaves his. We're both surprised to see our parents at the table. Usually by this time they're out running errands, or possibly working. They were both dressed, drinking coffee and they had these looks on their faces. They were unhappy, worried and had something to tell us.
"What's going on?" Adam questions. He sees it too, I was really hoping I was wrong.
"Helen's on her way over with Clare," Mom tells us.
"Is she okay? I just talked to her a few minutes ago," I say panicked.
"Clare's fine son, but the jails are overcrowded, Vince's offense was minor and he's been released early," Dad informs us.
"Great, he's out two weeks early and he's probably pissed. Do Bianca and Owen know?" I ask as I slump into a chair.
"I called Owen's Mom, she'll tell them when they wake up," Mom tells us.
"So, what happens now?" Adam questions.
"Yeah, what happens now? Vince is out, he's probably angry, he'll know Clare sent him to jail and he doesn't have Bianca anymore."
Update soon, chapter 15 will be the last one and it will pick up from right about here. Next to be updated is Alone on a School Night.