Chapter 14:
Alice-Bella rips open the cat kibble, spreading the food on the floor.
That's when they come a'runnin'.
I'm scared for my life. There are no food bowls. No plates. No dishes inscribed with "Fluffers" on it.
Just a hoard of animals, hissing and meowing and crawling out of the walls.
One even came squirming out of the couch.
Something was seriously wrong with this lady. It's always the pretty ones.
Maybe she's got glaucoma and can't see. That's the only explanation for having this many cats.
"Alice?" I say gently.
I've got to mind my manners. Perhaps she's so blind she couldn't see Ray Charles lickin' and Stevie Wonder pushin'.
"You always keep this many cats? It's gotta be 'round fifty or so..."
She just keeps spreading the food on the floor and the animals are actin' higher than a giraffe's nuts.
"Sixty-three," she corrects me. "That one's name is Sally. There's Chick Pea, Greta, Miss Marple, Poppy, Mishchief, and Whiskers. Over yonder is Showbiz, Otis, Quinn, Newbert, Jello, Pudding Cup, Pudding Cup the Fifth, Jingles, Jasper..."
And as she rambled on, naming each unfortunate kitty one by one, I slump onto the sofa.
Lady-friend was turning out to be more trouble than she was worth.
I wanted to slap some stuff on her mouth that even Ajax couldn't take off.