AN: Finally another chapter…so sorry for the long wait. Life is just so busy at the moment and yeah, my fanfics just weren't happening. So here for those of you that are still interested. The next chapter…

These Words I Can Not Speak...

"Oh" Mikey looked at the ground, thinking. "Well I'm not mad…anymore..." he trailed off. Not wanting to bring all that stuff from the past up. It didn't make him feel good.

"Okay…" Leo trailed off too; his heart beginning to beat faster. Maybe this wasn't the best idea, maybe he should have left well enough alone, "So-so you were mad at me and you're not now?" Leo stuttered. "But, why? Why were you mad, and why aren't you now and if you're not mad now what made you stop being mad and why do things still feel weird between us sometimes, but not others…" Leo rambled, without taking a breath.

Mikey looked back up at Leo, his head was spinning from Leo's rambling of words. It was so unlike Leo to act like this, so nervous, unsure…scared. Leo never rambled. That was more his department. "Hey, hold up Leo, my heads hurting," Mikey half chuckled.

Leo stopped talking and waited for Mikey to elaborate. Instead Mikey spun his chair away from Leo to stare at the wall behind his desk.

After what seemed like an eternity to Leo Mikey spoke, "Leo…I don't really want to talk about it. Okay. I'm not mad at you anymore. It was just-just hard while you were gone and worse when you didn't come back when you were meant to…but its fine now. So just forget about it okay."

Leo felt like that ocean off guilt he'd been trying to push away was going to pull him back under, it took him several minutes to work out what to say to Mikey, "But why is it okay now?" Leo finally responded.

Mikey spun back towards Leo, "Because you came back," Mikey smiled, that was the truth, his brother came back and no matter what had happened or why Leo had stayed away, all that Mikey wanted to care about was that fact that his brother came back to them. "You know what, I'm starving, I'm gonna go gets me some food, you coming?" Mikey said changing the subject as he bounded towards his bedroom door, effectively ending their conversation.

Leo forced himself to smile at his brother "No thanks, not right now".

"More for me," Mikey said smiling back at Leo again before leaving the room.

Leo sat there for several minutes on Mikey's bed, thinking. He knew Mikey had just left to stop their conversation. That there was more going on with Mikey then he was letting on. He just obviously didn't want to talk about it, which only made Leo feel worse. He was really hoping that coming to Mikey's room today would make him feel better not worse. Mikey told Leo to forget about it. He smiled and joked and wanted Leo to come eat with him, but something in Mikey's voice when he was talking about him being away, and that something that came into Mikey's eyes every now and then, for what seemed like no particular reason, made Leo feel like there was a giant hole between them. And Leo really didn't know what to do to fix it.

Leo decided not to bring any of it up with Don after his talk with Mikey; he just didn't feel up to it. The day went on as normal. Day turned to night and Leo wrote Raph his next letter.

Hey Raph,

Well I talked to Mikey today…he said everything was fine. That he was mad at me but he's not now. I asked him why. He said he was mad because things were hard when I was gone and worse when I didn't come back. I asked him why he wasn't still mad and he said because I came back. He says everything is ok but I can tell it's not. I can tell he is still upset about it all but, it's like he doesn't want to be and doesn't want me to know about it or something. I really don't know what to do. I guess I'll try to talk to him about it more later. I didn't even bother trying it with Don afterwards; I swear I feel worse than before now.

Anyway yes I think driving somewhere so I can see the stars, where we can all see the stars clearly would be nice.

Also and maybe most importantly, why didn't you come home for two days and how did no one notice?

Leo

Later that night long after Leo had delivered his latest letter to Raph and fallen asleep he was woken by an awful nightmare about Mikey and Don. It took him longer to calm down than it ever had. Leo lay in bed most of the night afterwards trying to work out what was going on with himself, why he kept having the horrible dreams. Eventually a thought did occur to him. He hadn't had a nightmare involving Raph since they had started their letter writing. But Mikey and Don still plagued him. Leo began to wonder if it was because he and Raph had been working through their issues…and that Raph had made him feel like he really had forgiven him. He wondered if his subconscious was still tapping into his guilt and worry when it came to his other two brothers, because he really hadn't resolved anything when it came to them. Talking to Mikey today hadn't really helped Leo. It made him feel worse. Mikey's lips said it was fine, but his eyes didn't.

Leo made a decision, getting up out of bed and sitting down at his desk, he took out a piece of paper. He wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do or how Mikey would react to it but he had to do something…and it had worked with Raph.

Hey Mikey, Leo wrote…

So there you go. It's probably not my best work I am soooo tired right now. Hopefully I will have the next chapter up pretty soon. But I can't promise it. I don't have much free time at the moment and probably won't until the end of November. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.