"Sounds like they're talking in there," Eric said. He could hear faint murmurs seeping through the walls in the direction of the guest bedroom. "You think they're talking about..."

"Probably." Tami was still sitting on the couch next to him. She clicked off the TV Julie had left on.

"My conversation with Julie went badly," he told her. "I tried to...I tried to explain how it wasn't really about..."

"Sex?" Tami asked.

"I guess I just came off sounding defensive."

Tami put a hand on his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair. A slight touch, but it was comforting. "She'll come around."

He sighed. "I don't know. "

"You're her father. And you've been a good father to her."

"Not always."

"You are a good father, Eric. And a good husband." She leaned in and kissed him, softly.

He pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too, sugar. Very much."

It was so good to hear her saying those words again. "And I'm so grateful for you, Tami."

She kissed him again and then pulled back. "That party has me wiped out, hon. I think I better turn in."

Eric waited for her direction. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do tonight, with Matt and Julie in the guest bedroom. He certainly didn't expect that she would want to have sex anytime soon, but he hoped at least to be invited back into their bed. There would be comfort in her presence tonight, a shared warmth. There was something familiar and yet sacred in a marriage bed.

"You should probably get your pillow," she told him. She glanced down at the couch. "There's a clean blanket in the linen closet."

"Yeah," he said quietly.

She kissed his forehead and left him sitting there. Gradually, he rose and claimed his pillow from their bed. Her bed, for now. She was just returning from the master bath, in those cute athletic shorts she often wore to bed in the summer, and that tight Pemberton t-shirt, the slightly too-small one he'd bought her their first year here. She lifted the comforter and slid onto her side of the bed.

He wanted so very badly to slide in next to her, to spoon with her back pressed against his chest, to inhale the familiar scent of her shampoo, and fall asleep with his wife in his arms.

"'Nite," he told her, and made his way out of the room.

[*]

Julie didn't like what Matt was saying to her at first, but she listened, and she considered his words. They continued to talk there in the guest bed, more openly and honestly than they ever had. Matt gave her a perspective that made her wonder if there was really only a one year's age difference between them. It also made her remember why she'd felt confident in marrying him.

Eventually they started kissing, and then made love quietly – not just because they were in her parents' house and they were always uncomfortable doing it in that setting - but because right now Julie needed a gentle reassurance of his love and esteem - and Matt seemed to get that.

He fell asleep afterward, his cheek pressed against the pillow, his lips slightly open, but she'd just ended up lying on her back, thinking. Julie had felt guilty and ashamed for her affair with the T.A., and her dad had made the feeling worse with his obvious disappointment. Most of her shame back then was about not meeting expectations – her dad's, her mom's, her own. She hadn't really let herself think too much about the other woman. She'd tried to think of Derek's wife as nothing but a screeching bitch. She'd tried not to think too much about how that woman had felt. But that woman was a wife. A wife. Like Julie's own mom – a wife whose husband had slept with someone else, leaving her in a world of pain.

Julie wondered if Derek had ever reconciled with his wife. She doubted it. Derek wasn't her father. Her father had cut off the affair instantly when her mom said she wanted to fix the marriage. He hadn't tried to draw the other woman back in, even after discovery, the way Derek had done with her. He'd kept his distance from her and never set foot in that school again. Julie's father had gone to counseling. He'd done everything her mom had asked of him to help heal things. He'd worked hard. Derek, meanwhile, was probably thoroughly divorced by now and seducing another student. That's probably why he was separated in the first place. God, she'd been a fool.

Julie wondered if her mom had done anything like hunting down and publicly slapping the other woman, the way Derek's wife had done to her. Or maybe Mom had slapped Dad, when he'd told her. Who knows what she'd done. Julie knew so little about her parents. She saw one side of them, the side they chose to show her, but they had a whole life behind closed doors.

Julie's mother had been the one to show her compassion when she slept with Derek. Her mom, who had been injured in a similar way as Derek's wife. Her father had been the one to clench down his jaw, to disapprove sternly. And now Julie had done the same thing to him, while it was Matt who whispered suggestions of forgiveness.

Did we really judge others the most for the flaws that were within us? Was that a way of distancing ourselves from our own weaknesses? Or had her dad been disapproving of himself even as he'd been disapproving of her? Had that disappointment been turned inward?

[*]

When she still couldn't sleep, Julie decided to get a glass of warm milk. As she passed through the living room to the kitchen, she saw a lump stirring on the couch. Her dad. He had a pillow and a blanket, so it wasn't as if he'd just fallen asleep watching TV there. He'd been sent there.

Julie's emotions were often fickle. She'd perfected that outward face of not caring as a teenager, but inside she cared deeply, about a thousand things, and what she cared about could change from second to second. Right now, instead of thinking, "How could Mom just take him back?" Julie was feeling a terror clench her chest. She was thinking, "What if she leaves him over this Nate thing? What if my parents divorce, after all these years?"

Her dad had by now sat up and switched on the lamp by the side of the couch. "Hey," he muttered, "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Julie slid into the arm chair beside the couch. "So…how long have you been on the couch?"

"Just tonight." He smiled weakly. "Because I was in the guest bedroom before y'all got here."

Was that meant to be a joke? She looked down at the carpet.

"Listen," he said, "We're going to be okay, me and your mom. She's not punishing me. She just needs a little space. I'm not here because we're fighting. I'm here so we won't end up fighting."

Julie looked at him skeptically.

"It's true," he said. "It's just hard for her. She hadn't really thought about it in a long time, and she needs a little space is all. It's better this way. That's something we learned. If you try to gloss over…without giving things enough time...without…it just …" He trailed off and sat back against the cushion. He rubbed his eyes.

"What did you think of Nate?" Julie asked.

"He was...Interesting." He dropped his hand and looked at her. "What did you think of him?"

"My half brother?" she asked. "He seems all right. Hey, you always wanted a boy right?"

"I wanted exactly what I was given. You and Gracie and your mom…you're the three most important things in the world to me. "

God, he looked tired. How much was he sleeping? "So mom's really upset?" she asked. "Even though she doesn't act like it?"

"Listen," he said, "We've had a long, good marriage, me and your mom. We're going to keep having one. It's just…I gave her a wound once, and there are consequences to that. The scab gets thicker and thicker over time, but if you tear at it…" He sighed. "This news about Nate was sudden, it was shocking, and it woke up some old pain. But we're doing what we need to do. We know what we're doing."

"Are you going to try to have a relationship with Nate now?"

"I'm nothing to him. I was no part of his life. He had father figures growing up –uncles. I don't think he's looking for that. But he's curious about me. He wanted a health history and all that. And we agreed we'd meet again next time he's near Philly. He travels around a lot for his…I don't what the hell he does. I didn't understand. He does things with other people's money. He doesn't even have a college degree."

"Nice car though, huh?"

Her dad smiled. "Yeah. I saw him get into that on our way out from lunch."

"It's weird," she said. "That I have a brother."

Her father nodded. They were quiet for a while. "Do you want to watch something?" he asked.

Julie came and sat beside him on top of the blanket that covered his lap and fell over the cushion next to him. She put her head on his shoulder and he closed his eyes. "I love you, Monkey Noodle."

"I love you too, Dad," she said. It wasn't easy to say. The anger and disappointment still lingered. It would probably linger for a long time to come. But she did love him. That was why she'd been so disappointed.

Julie made herself say more: "I'm glad you and Mom worked things out in the beginning. I hope you keep working them out. You guys have given me a pretty good example. And maybe the way you worked through this was an example too. If Matt and I learn from you, then we'll go through fewer struggles than you did. You guys are giving us tools."

"You're sending Julie home with tools?" Julie's mom was suddenly behind the couch. "Are you finally going to unpack those last two boxes in the basement?"

Julie's dad leaned back to look up at her. "Marriage tools. She was talking about marriage tools."

"Ah."

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

Julie's mom shook her head. Julie looked from her mother to her father. "Family movie night?" she asked.

"We have a Shakespeare movie on DVD," her mom said, going and grabbing it from a rack.

"Shakespeare?" Julie said. "I think Dad's going to object."

Julie's mom slid it in the player and was now sitting down on the couch. Julie was sandwiched between her parents.

"Your dad loves it. He's the one who bought it."

Julie snorted and glanced at him. "Is Philly broadening your horizons?"

"It's a war movie," he said. "The language is a little stilted, but I got used to it after a while."

Julie's dad stretched his arm out straight so it went across Julie and his hand was just resting on Mom's back, below her neck. Julie's mom turned and smiled at him. There was a little bit of sadness in that smile, something shared, and love. "I like family movie night," she said. He smiled back, the same way.

When the movie was half over, they were all drifting off. Julie woke up when her mom clicked the TV off and said, "We should all get to sleep."

Julie stood, said goodnight to them, and began walking to the guest bedroom. When she got to the door, she heard her mom say, "Eric, hon, aren't you coming to bed?"

Then her dad's hesitant, hopeful voice: "To…with you?"

"Yeah," said her mom. "This couch can't be comfortable."

Julie felt the relief flooding over her. She gently pushed open the guest bedroom door. They were going to be all right. Her parents loved each other, had managed to build a good marriage together, even if it had gotten off to a rocky start. They knew how to handle each other, when to give one another space, when to reach out. What had her mom said? They knew each other inside and out.

Julie slid in bed next to the slumbering Matt and cuddled close. She and Matt would have their problems, sure, but maybe they'd escape a lot of the pain and conflicts her parents had worked through over the years, because they'd been given a more solid start - more support. They didn't have to go it alone as a couple, the way her parents always had.

She spooned up behind her husband and held on tight.