Chapter Fourteen: An interesting proposition.
Snape was up to his nose in papers from his second year potions class and was happily making red notes all over them covered with crosses and markings when something made him stop. The noise of the owl tapping on the window of his study startled Snape and he jumped before he realised that it was only an owl, and he hurried to let it in. The owl swooped into the room along with a blast of hot air from outside and he hurriedly shut the window and turned to the owl. Then he got his second shock in the last minute- the owl was no longer an owl. It was now a wizard who was regarding him thoughtfully. A wizard with bright fuchsia robes and long silver hair, and a strangely familiar look about him.
"What the hell is the meaning of this?" Snape demanded angrily. How dare this wizard just enter his study like this?
"Professor Severus Snape," The wizard bowed slightly. "I am indeed indebted to meet you."
'In-what?' Snape thought as he walked back over to his desk and sat down again, regarding the strange wizard with a cold look. "As I asked, what is the meaning of this?" Snape repeated.
The wizard laughed. "You didn't say that." He said.
"I bloody well did." Snape snapped. "A moment ago- are you stupid?"
"You actually said what the hell is the meaning of this the first time, and the second time you neglected to put the hell in." The wizard explained.
Snape gritted his teeth in anger. "Listen, I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I'm very busy and-"
The wizard interrupted. "I know you're very busy Mr. Snape- you're famous after all." He said, coming over to him and sitting in the chair opposite uninvited.
"Who are you?" Snape asked bluntly. He wasn't going to sit here and play games with this freaky looking wizard. He wanted him out of his study now!
"My name is Leroy Lockhart." The wizard replied proudly tossing his long hair over his shoulder and preening at Snape. "Surely you've heard of me?"
"Lockhart?" Snape repeated slowly. "Are you by any chance related to Gilderoy?"
"Gilderoy's my little brother. Of course I was always the more handsome one of the family, but Gilderoy got all the fame! His books were always best- sellers, every witch in our world was in love with him.." He sighed, and then shifted in the chair.
Snape sighed and twirled his quill in his fingers wondering where this was going. It was no point pulling out his wand and putting a spell on the annoying wizard since if he was anything like Gilderoy he'd probably just keep on talking! And besides, Dumbledore would be angry if he learnt that Snape had cursed a visitor to Hogwarts.
"Anyway for years I've been battling Mr. Snape, making my way in life while my little brother spent his time giving out autographed photographs of himself, so let me tell you I wasn't exactly displeased when I learnt about his problems down in the Chamber of Secrets." Leroy continued with a slight smile. "Unfortunately now he has his memory back and he's thinking of writing a book tentatively entitled "My battle with the Basilisk" but whether he does or doesn't remains to be seen."
Snape yawned. "As fascinating as the life and times of the Lockhart brothers is to me I really am rather busy with this marking." He gestured to the papers. To his surprise Leroy leant over and grabbed one from the top.
"Ah, anti-ageing potions are they really feasible?" He read. "Interesting. Of course if anyone ever comes up with one which doesn't have terrible side effects I am sure they will be swamped. Some people aren't as lucky as I am with my natural looks; I don't look a day over fifty do I? And would you believe I'm really approaching two hundred!"
Snape merely raised an eyebrow. Leroy Lockhart seemed to be as arrogant and in love with himself as Gilderoy was!
"I think I better get to the point Mr. Snape." Leroy said, and Snape mentally thanked Merlin for that. "Now that Gilderoy has his mind back he's sure to begin writing books again and wowing the wizarding world- or more accurately the female wizarding world- with his great looks, talent and charm. All of which he learnt from me mind you, but do you see him mentioning that? And further do you see anyone actually remembering there is another Lockhart brother once good old Gilderoy is back in the spotlight?"
Snape leant forward in his seat and regarded Leroy thoughtfully. "I don't see what this has to do with me." He said.
"I assume you read the Daily Prophet?" Leroy asked, and Snape nodded. "I also assume you read the piece Rita Skeeter did on you last week?"
A dark look crossed Snape's face as he nodded again. "I read it, along with every bloody student and teacher in this place. Things are getting better now, but for awhile they were all looking at me and laughing. I tell you Lockhart I am never doing something like that again if this is the reaction I get. Luckily I'm back here doing what I love, where I belong." He burst out.
Lockhart smiled a calculating smile. "So the article didn't exactly impress you I take it?" He asked.
Snape snorted and thought of what he'd do to that Skeeter woman if he ever got his hands on her.
"Well Mr. Snape, it's your lucky day today." Leroy said with a smile. "You're looking at the world's greatest reporter."
"You?" Snape asked shocked. "I can't say I've ever read any of your work."
Leroy sighed and shifted in his seat again. "Well you would have, you just wouldn't know it was me. You're looking at.." He took a deep breath. "Witch Wilhemina, the agony aunt for the wizarding world."
Snape roared with laughter as Leroy sat there his face beet red. When Snape had finally stopped laughing he wiped away the tears from his eyes. "I needed that thank you."
Leroy shook his head. "The thing is Mr. Snape I could be a brilliant writer, I know I am. I just never get given anything to work with other than witches wanting to cure warts or something like that. Mr. Snape, I know you don't like my brother do you?"
Snape was shocked at the unexpected turn in the conversation and he shrugged. "He's not my favourite person no." He said diplomatically, wondering what this wizard really wanted.
"Oh come now Mr. Snape, we're friends here. The truth is you and I both have the same feelings for Gilderoy- we resent him." Leroy said. "I resent him because I get pushed to the back and ignored and you resent him because he got a shot at the Defence Against the Dark Arts position you've always wanted."
Snape frowned. "How do you know that?" He demanded.
"I'm a reporter Mr. Snape, I have my sources." Leroy said, waving his hands as if to dismiss the question. "Further I know that after the accident in the chamber you were heard to remark on the fact that it was a good thing. You said it was the only good thing Weasley and Potter had ever done in their life."
Snape glowered at him. "I don't know where you got this from."
"But it's true?" Leroy demanded a smirk on his face.
"And so what if it IS true?" Snape asked with a sigh. "You would know only too well I am not the only one to be annoyed by your brother. Wizards all over would have wished that accident on him too."
Leroy nodded. "For sure." He said. "Of course wizards all over couldn't have had the opportunity to actually put a memory charm on him themselves and then alter the memories of the boys involved so that they agreed with his story.."
Snape felt his face grow pale in anger, and his lips tightened. "I hope you're not suggesting-"
"Mr. Snape, Mr. Snape, I'm not suggesting anything." Leroy hastened to tell him. "I'm just merely thinking out loud. I apologise if I offended you."
"What do you want?" Snape asked wearily. He wanted to get rid of the strange wizard and get on with his marking. Besides that afternoon was also the first Quidditch game for the season with Gryffindoor playing Slytherin. Potter had been made Captain in his fifth year and Weasley had made the team as a beater this year replacing one of his twin brothers since they'd left the school. And Malfoy was also captain for Slytherin so Snape was expecting an interesting match to say the least.
"I want to write about you." Leroy said, his eyes glittering with excitement. "I want to write the greatest story ever, and you want to refute Skeeter's article right? We both need each other Mr. Snape."
The first word on Snape's lips was "no" but then he hesitated. "What exactly would this story entail?" He asked.
Leroy, sensing Snape was weakening, began to explain his "vision" as he called it. A brilliant potions teacher, a man with the highest of morals who decided as that it would be an experience to star in a muggle film.
"And would the article focus more on the fact that I work here than anything else?" Snape asked slowly. "It wouldn't be all movie fuss would it?"
"No of course not. Sort of a "the man behind the movie star" type of thing, although naturally I'll need to mention the movie a little bit especially with it coming out next month and all." Leroy explained. "And the best thing is it would make Skeeter eat her words."
Snape began to smile. "Well I'd rather see her eating other things, but I suppose her words is a good start. Of course this is only on the understanding Mr. Lockhart, that the article would not be mainly about the movie and junk. Although my opinions on muggles would be very interesting to the article."
"I promise you will have the final word on what the article says and doesn't say Mr. Snape." Leroy assured him. "I just want to write a brilliant piece and that's all."
"Okay," Snape sighed. "I guess we've got a deal then."
Leroy beamed. "You won't be sorry." He promised Snape happily.
A strange look crossed Snape's face as he replied. "I better not be sorry Leroy or you'll find that you will also be sorry. VERY sorry."
[A/N. So there you have it: Snape's first proper interview is going to be in a wizard publication, but somehow I doubt it will prepare him for what he's going to face very soon- that is the muggle world of television, papers and fans as he still has his contractual obligations to Hampton Studios coming up in the very near future....]
Snape was up to his nose in papers from his second year potions class and was happily making red notes all over them covered with crosses and markings when something made him stop. The noise of the owl tapping on the window of his study startled Snape and he jumped before he realised that it was only an owl, and he hurried to let it in. The owl swooped into the room along with a blast of hot air from outside and he hurriedly shut the window and turned to the owl. Then he got his second shock in the last minute- the owl was no longer an owl. It was now a wizard who was regarding him thoughtfully. A wizard with bright fuchsia robes and long silver hair, and a strangely familiar look about him.
"What the hell is the meaning of this?" Snape demanded angrily. How dare this wizard just enter his study like this?
"Professor Severus Snape," The wizard bowed slightly. "I am indeed indebted to meet you."
'In-what?' Snape thought as he walked back over to his desk and sat down again, regarding the strange wizard with a cold look. "As I asked, what is the meaning of this?" Snape repeated.
The wizard laughed. "You didn't say that." He said.
"I bloody well did." Snape snapped. "A moment ago- are you stupid?"
"You actually said what the hell is the meaning of this the first time, and the second time you neglected to put the hell in." The wizard explained.
Snape gritted his teeth in anger. "Listen, I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I'm very busy and-"
The wizard interrupted. "I know you're very busy Mr. Snape- you're famous after all." He said, coming over to him and sitting in the chair opposite uninvited.
"Who are you?" Snape asked bluntly. He wasn't going to sit here and play games with this freaky looking wizard. He wanted him out of his study now!
"My name is Leroy Lockhart." The wizard replied proudly tossing his long hair over his shoulder and preening at Snape. "Surely you've heard of me?"
"Lockhart?" Snape repeated slowly. "Are you by any chance related to Gilderoy?"
"Gilderoy's my little brother. Of course I was always the more handsome one of the family, but Gilderoy got all the fame! His books were always best- sellers, every witch in our world was in love with him.." He sighed, and then shifted in the chair.
Snape sighed and twirled his quill in his fingers wondering where this was going. It was no point pulling out his wand and putting a spell on the annoying wizard since if he was anything like Gilderoy he'd probably just keep on talking! And besides, Dumbledore would be angry if he learnt that Snape had cursed a visitor to Hogwarts.
"Anyway for years I've been battling Mr. Snape, making my way in life while my little brother spent his time giving out autographed photographs of himself, so let me tell you I wasn't exactly displeased when I learnt about his problems down in the Chamber of Secrets." Leroy continued with a slight smile. "Unfortunately now he has his memory back and he's thinking of writing a book tentatively entitled "My battle with the Basilisk" but whether he does or doesn't remains to be seen."
Snape yawned. "As fascinating as the life and times of the Lockhart brothers is to me I really am rather busy with this marking." He gestured to the papers. To his surprise Leroy leant over and grabbed one from the top.
"Ah, anti-ageing potions are they really feasible?" He read. "Interesting. Of course if anyone ever comes up with one which doesn't have terrible side effects I am sure they will be swamped. Some people aren't as lucky as I am with my natural looks; I don't look a day over fifty do I? And would you believe I'm really approaching two hundred!"
Snape merely raised an eyebrow. Leroy Lockhart seemed to be as arrogant and in love with himself as Gilderoy was!
"I think I better get to the point Mr. Snape." Leroy said, and Snape mentally thanked Merlin for that. "Now that Gilderoy has his mind back he's sure to begin writing books again and wowing the wizarding world- or more accurately the female wizarding world- with his great looks, talent and charm. All of which he learnt from me mind you, but do you see him mentioning that? And further do you see anyone actually remembering there is another Lockhart brother once good old Gilderoy is back in the spotlight?"
Snape leant forward in his seat and regarded Leroy thoughtfully. "I don't see what this has to do with me." He said.
"I assume you read the Daily Prophet?" Leroy asked, and Snape nodded. "I also assume you read the piece Rita Skeeter did on you last week?"
A dark look crossed Snape's face as he nodded again. "I read it, along with every bloody student and teacher in this place. Things are getting better now, but for awhile they were all looking at me and laughing. I tell you Lockhart I am never doing something like that again if this is the reaction I get. Luckily I'm back here doing what I love, where I belong." He burst out.
Lockhart smiled a calculating smile. "So the article didn't exactly impress you I take it?" He asked.
Snape snorted and thought of what he'd do to that Skeeter woman if he ever got his hands on her.
"Well Mr. Snape, it's your lucky day today." Leroy said with a smile. "You're looking at the world's greatest reporter."
"You?" Snape asked shocked. "I can't say I've ever read any of your work."
Leroy sighed and shifted in his seat again. "Well you would have, you just wouldn't know it was me. You're looking at.." He took a deep breath. "Witch Wilhemina, the agony aunt for the wizarding world."
Snape roared with laughter as Leroy sat there his face beet red. When Snape had finally stopped laughing he wiped away the tears from his eyes. "I needed that thank you."
Leroy shook his head. "The thing is Mr. Snape I could be a brilliant writer, I know I am. I just never get given anything to work with other than witches wanting to cure warts or something like that. Mr. Snape, I know you don't like my brother do you?"
Snape was shocked at the unexpected turn in the conversation and he shrugged. "He's not my favourite person no." He said diplomatically, wondering what this wizard really wanted.
"Oh come now Mr. Snape, we're friends here. The truth is you and I both have the same feelings for Gilderoy- we resent him." Leroy said. "I resent him because I get pushed to the back and ignored and you resent him because he got a shot at the Defence Against the Dark Arts position you've always wanted."
Snape frowned. "How do you know that?" He demanded.
"I'm a reporter Mr. Snape, I have my sources." Leroy said, waving his hands as if to dismiss the question. "Further I know that after the accident in the chamber you were heard to remark on the fact that it was a good thing. You said it was the only good thing Weasley and Potter had ever done in their life."
Snape glowered at him. "I don't know where you got this from."
"But it's true?" Leroy demanded a smirk on his face.
"And so what if it IS true?" Snape asked with a sigh. "You would know only too well I am not the only one to be annoyed by your brother. Wizards all over would have wished that accident on him too."
Leroy nodded. "For sure." He said. "Of course wizards all over couldn't have had the opportunity to actually put a memory charm on him themselves and then alter the memories of the boys involved so that they agreed with his story.."
Snape felt his face grow pale in anger, and his lips tightened. "I hope you're not suggesting-"
"Mr. Snape, Mr. Snape, I'm not suggesting anything." Leroy hastened to tell him. "I'm just merely thinking out loud. I apologise if I offended you."
"What do you want?" Snape asked wearily. He wanted to get rid of the strange wizard and get on with his marking. Besides that afternoon was also the first Quidditch game for the season with Gryffindoor playing Slytherin. Potter had been made Captain in his fifth year and Weasley had made the team as a beater this year replacing one of his twin brothers since they'd left the school. And Malfoy was also captain for Slytherin so Snape was expecting an interesting match to say the least.
"I want to write about you." Leroy said, his eyes glittering with excitement. "I want to write the greatest story ever, and you want to refute Skeeter's article right? We both need each other Mr. Snape."
The first word on Snape's lips was "no" but then he hesitated. "What exactly would this story entail?" He asked.
Leroy, sensing Snape was weakening, began to explain his "vision" as he called it. A brilliant potions teacher, a man with the highest of morals who decided as that it would be an experience to star in a muggle film.
"And would the article focus more on the fact that I work here than anything else?" Snape asked slowly. "It wouldn't be all movie fuss would it?"
"No of course not. Sort of a "the man behind the movie star" type of thing, although naturally I'll need to mention the movie a little bit especially with it coming out next month and all." Leroy explained. "And the best thing is it would make Skeeter eat her words."
Snape began to smile. "Well I'd rather see her eating other things, but I suppose her words is a good start. Of course this is only on the understanding Mr. Lockhart, that the article would not be mainly about the movie and junk. Although my opinions on muggles would be very interesting to the article."
"I promise you will have the final word on what the article says and doesn't say Mr. Snape." Leroy assured him. "I just want to write a brilliant piece and that's all."
"Okay," Snape sighed. "I guess we've got a deal then."
Leroy beamed. "You won't be sorry." He promised Snape happily.
A strange look crossed Snape's face as he replied. "I better not be sorry Leroy or you'll find that you will also be sorry. VERY sorry."
[A/N. So there you have it: Snape's first proper interview is going to be in a wizard publication, but somehow I doubt it will prepare him for what he's going to face very soon- that is the muggle world of television, papers and fans as he still has his contractual obligations to Hampton Studios coming up in the very near future....]