Chapter Fourteen - Aftermath
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The vision had eventually ended and no more had followed. Harry now lay unconscious and all Severus could do was wait. He couldn't risk sleep, he no idea whether it would all start up again or even if Harry might die. Severus was lying on his side, holding Harry close to him, he could feel him breathing, slow and even, he didn't have to check. Harry hadn't been unconscious any longer than before but Severus couldn't help being very worried. It was clear that the vision had been a lot more severe; Harry himself had thought so before he fell into it.
The first indication that Severus got that Harry was coming round was from the tilt of Harry's head as he tried to look behind him. It made Severus jump since he didn't know if he really had Harry back, or if it was just part of the vision still.
"Sev?" Harry said softly and sounding a little bit panicked.
Severus remembered about what he had done to control Harry. "It's all right, it will wear off." Severus tried to reassure, expecting a bit of trouble from his Kin over the matter.
"Sev, I feel really sick." Harry said.
Severus pulled himself up as quickly as he could and lifted Harry, turning him over onto his front just in time. Severus couldn't help twisting his face a little; grimacing at the pain it caused him, he hated this sort of thing. He reached for his sword so that he could clear all the mess away as quickly as possible.
When Harry was sure that he was feeling a lot less nauseous Severus turned him over onto his back and pulled the rucksack under his head so that he was raised a little. Harry looked up at him and Severus saw his expression change and tears form in his eyes.
"I can give you some strength back in your arms but the rest will have to wear off on its own, and it will over the next few hours." Severus said taking up one of Harry's arms.
Harry nodded still staring at Severus. He was biting his lip. Severus massaged his arm, looking down at his work even though he didn't need to, not wanting to see how upset Harry was, not yet. Then he took up the other arm and massaged some strength into that one also.
Harry tried to raise his hand up to Severus as he worked on the other one. It wasn't completely back to normal though and he found that he could only move it so far and it felt like jelly. Severus finished with his other arm but it felt the same.
"Sev?"
"Yes."
"Lift my hand up to your face." Harry commanded.
Severus took one of Harry's hands and placed it against his cheek.
Harry rolled his eyes like he had seen Severus do countless times. "To the hurt side." Harry said not quite matching Snape's legendary snappiness.
His hand might feel useless, but he still thought he could heal with it, if Severus would maintain the contact for him. He couldn't bear to look at him like that any longer, knowing that he had been the cause of it. He had to reduce the swelling and the bruising for Severus' comfort as well as for his own guilt.
Severus had almost forgotten about what he would look like, with all the worry over Harry, he had forgotten about himself. He felt the warmth of Harry's healing as he held his hand to his face, he could feel the swelling go down and the pain ease. He didn't tell Harry about his other injuries, he didn't want to tire him out.
"Do you have any pain?" Severus asked as he lowered Harry's hand again, his face back to normal.
"No, just achy, nothing much." Harry answered. "You should have done it sooner."
"Done what?"
"Whatever it was you did to stop me running away." Harry said.
"I didn't want to." Severus said snuggling back down underneath the covers to keep warm.
"I think you must. If you do it before we go to bed it will have worn off by morning, is that correct?" Harry suggested.
"Yes, by the time we have had breakfast, it may have done. It lasts about twelve hours."
"Then that's what we will do. I do not want to wake up in the middle of nowhere, not knowing where I am or where you are."
"Yes, with your permission, I will. Though you would most likely die of the cold before you woke up, at this time of year."
Harry smiled grimly. "He doesn't even need to come anywhere near me does he?"
"He will have to, because I won't let it happen any other way." Severus asserted, lying once more with his arm protectively round Harry's waist, the palm of his hand resting on the Talisman that still lay beneath the bandaging. "Though he might not try that method again, if he knows he can't get you that way."
"Maybe, but will you do it for a while, till we're sure?" Harry asked.
Severus stroked a hand through Harry's hair. "Of course I will, I don't want to lose you either."
"I need to tell you about the vision." Harry told Severus, he already knew it had been a serious one and he needed to know as soon as possible.
"You should be able to show me, you don't need to talk." Severus suggested. "I'll get the swords and you will just have to say a little before we connect. You were so good at this the last time."
"If you're sure you want this living and breathing inside your head." Harry warned.
"You have it in yours, that's enough for me to want it too." Severus said pushing himself up a bit so he could get the swords from their coat pockets.
Severus placed Harry's sword in his hand for him and although he couldn't grip it very well the serpents didn't seem to mind and they wound round his wrist anyway. Severus took hold of his sword too and they pulled the sleeping bag so high it was nearly over their heads. Then Harry began to tell Severus about the vision, trying to make the connection and it wasn't long before he could stop speaking and let Severus experience it for himself as they relived it together.
As they finished the exchange and Severus broke the connection, the tears were flowing down Harry's face unchecked. Severus certainly joined with him in the emotion but could not express it as dramatically. He tried to send Harry some comfort.
"Oh, the children, Sev, the children." Harry sobbed against Severus' chest his breathing difficult. "And Ron, the great hall, all the screaming children huddled behind him and a wave of curses. He fell, Sev, I saw it. He was telling the children to run but they couldn't move, they were so frightened. Ron stood before them all and fell. They came past curfew, everybody had gone to bed and suddenly they came."
Severus knew better than to interrupt him or try to calm him. He just held him tightly in his arms and let him tell whatever he needed to say even though they had already connected through it all. Severus gently rocked Harry as he clung to him, his grip still a little weak but returning, the tears still streaming down his soft pale face.
Harry eventually calmed and then slept for a while. Severus kept watch over him, feeling exhausted but as yet unable to sleep.
When Harry woke he could move a lot easier, but chose to remain where he was in Severus' arms.
"I don't think we're going anywhere today." Severus said kissing Harry on the forehead.
"I'll try, I might be all right for a short distance." Harry offered.
"No, just rest." Severus said more worried about his own ribs than Harry's ability to walk. If Harry had been a bit unsteady, normally he would have been able to support him. He didn't know if he could bear to carry the rucksack until his ribs stopped screaming at him though. He had to face it, he was going to have to tell Harry, there was no way it was going to heal itself before morning.
They were facing each other and Harry wrapped an arm round Severus and he felt comforted by it. Harry tried to rub Severus' back a little as he rested his eyes once more. His hand touched the unhealed wounds and Severus couldn't help the flinch. The cleaning charm had taken care of most of the blood but it hadn't healed the scratched wounds.
Harry pulled himself up and pulled Severus' shirt up to take a look, there was no point protesting. At least, Severus thought, he wouldn't need to confess any longer.
Harry looked horrified when he lay back down. "What else?" He demanded.
Severus took Harry's hand and placed it on his chest where the broken ribs were.
Harry didn't say anything, he just pressed his hand on the skin and healed Severus again.
"You'll weaken yourself." Severus tried to warn him.
"I don't care, we're not going anywhere today anyway." Harry countered. Severus gave in and let Harry do what he was beginning to be quite good at. Harry healed Severus' back next, using both hands, then flopped back down onto his rucksack feeling thoroughly drained.
"Are you still feeling sick?" Severus asked.
"No, you can make me something to eat later." Harry replied.
"I will certainly do that, just say when you're hungry." Severus replied, drawing Harry into his embrace once again.
"I think Albus must be dead." Harry said suddenly.
Severus could only agree, though he was certain that he could not have been sitting in the tower waiting for it, as Harry was meant to believe from the vision.
"I think we need to go over what you've seen so far, make some sense of it." Severus suggested.
"It seems pretty clear." Harry commented.
"He's only showing you what he wants you to see, we can make use of that and perhaps figure out what is really happening."
"You agree that Albus is dead."
"But I doubt it happened through the destruction of the tower. Think about it."
"I don't want to." Harry complained.
Severus hugged Harry close. "I know, so I'll start, just listen." Severus began. "At the Weasleys, Ginny was home but she should have been at school. In the school grounds, following the destruction of the tower, you saw older students and teachers. Inside there was your friend Ron and a small selection of children you took to be first years. They were dressed for bed."
"Yes, that's what I saw."
"Well, let's assume for a moment that it really did happen like that. It hardly sounds like a regular school term. I doubt as many have died as you think."
"Still too many."
"I know. I think they were going for the Talisman. I don't think that killing was their primary objective, not this time. I think that the school wasn't running as normal and that most of the students were at home. They will have known you were missing after the attack on the Dursleys. So the Death Eaters think that either you have the Talisman or it's somewhere in the Castle. Hence the Dark Lord is trying his best to draw you out. I think you saw the only children that they did find there. Why would all those teachers be out on the grounds if they had left a whole school's population inside? There would have been panic; you would have seen a lot more. The Dark Lord probably knows now that you have help."
"Does he know it's you?"
"Not from the visions no, but if you were ever holding your sword during a vision he would certainly guess."
"I am blocking him from knowing anything from me."
"It would be in your behaviour." Severus explained. "He would remember from before."
"Would they not think you had the Talisman?" Harry asked.
"A former Death Eater with questionable allegiances? No, they know Albus wouldn't be that stupid."
Harry almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. "Oh Sev." Harry said kissing his Kin. "I just want to go home, I want to see what the truth of it all is. I just want to go back to school."
"But you remember why we can't?"
"Yes, yes. I have to be ready, really ready, because it isn't just about now, or even about our own world. We have the Talisman and when it comes to the Dark Lord I will only have one chance, I must kill him, I must know I can for sure. Otherwise all may be lost."
"If any of them gain possession of the Talisman then you might as well leave the Dark Lord alive."
"Oh Sev."
"You'll be all right Harry." Severus tried to reassure. "I know it sounds grim now, but we are becoming very strong. We just need the time."
"The Bichun Kin was our only hope." Harry said.
"Yes." Severus replied. "So it's probably just as well you don't hate me any more."
Harry answered Severus with a kiss. "But what of Albus?"
"I don't know, not yet, I just know that he must be gone." Severus answered.
Severus had eventually allowed himself to sleep a little, Harry watched over him as he slept. It was growing dark again and Harry was feeling rested although he had a heavy heart, which he didn't think would ease for anything.
Although Harry had no way of knowing how true the vision had been, and he couldn't understand why the Dark lord would have placed Ron separate from his family if it hadn't been real. But he couldn't really think what Ron would be doing at Hogwarts just before the beginning of the school holidays even if the term hadn't been progressing as normal. Especially since Harry hadn't seen Hermione anywhere, they wouldn't be apart surely. It had all been so fast though and through the perspective of a single Death Eater. Hermione could quite easily have been anywhere else in the castle getting killed as well.
Harry watched over Severus who looked strained and tired, though more peaceful than he had been when awake. Thinking of how he had hurt his Kin, hurt him inside nearly as much as knowing that Ron must be dead. Sev hadn't looked at him like everybody else had done after they had witnessed the full horrors of a bad vision. He hadn't shrunk away from him, despite everything that had happened. There hadn't even been the slightest hint of blame in Severus' countenance.
Harry had given Severus quite a good beating for somebody who had been unaware of what he was doing. Usually his random thrashing, hurt people who tried to restrain him, Harry remembered, but Sev looked more like he had received an intentional beating. It looked like there had been something very different about this vision, from Sev's perspective as well as Harry's own.
Harry noticed that Severus' lips were parted slightly. Despite everything, or perhaps because of it, he wanted to join with those lips and make Severus feel something entirely different to pain. Maybe just a little kiss, gently, wouldn't wake him too much and would show him how much the real Harry felt for him.
Harry leant forward, placed a hand on Severus' cheek and lightly kissed him. Severus moved slightly at the contact and his lips parted more. Harry deepened the kiss and his wayward hand reached down to pull Severus' shirt up a little, reaching inside to stroke his chest, to risk a bit lower sometime very soon. Severus' hand was suddenly clamped on Harry's wayward one. Harry gasped, feeling as if he had just been caught stealing.
"At least, my Kin, have the decency to wake me up first." Severus growled at Harry, claiming another kiss and letting Harry's wayward hand continue on its journey.
It wasn't right, Ron was dead and he was kissing Sev, enjoying the feelings that were flooding through him from the contact. No, that wasn't correct, it wasn't mere enjoyment. He needed to feel something, feel like this, just to keep a grip on his sanity, just so that he would want to carry on. So that he wouldn't start screaming and not know when to stop.
Sev understood, he must do, he was answering every advance of Harry's with just as much need and Albus was gone too. Ron was dead; Albus' tower blown to bits, there was nothing they could do. Harry melted into everything that Severus was prepared to offer.
Harry reached round to caress the area that he had so recently healed; it was still a little sensitive, now covered as it was, in fresh new skin. Harry reached up Severus' back as they kissed, gently stroking.
Severus eventually broke off from the kiss, exhaustion threatening to overcome him. Severus took hold of Harry, and after making sure they were lying as they wanted to be, he made sure that Harry couldn't run away again if he had another vision. Harry felt his legs go limp and useless, he confirmed to Severus that he couldn't move, hardly being able to believe that it had come to this. He knew though, that he couldn't allow himself to hurt his Sev again, not if it could be prevented. Severus then snuggled his head into Harry's shoulder as Harry continued to soothingly stroke his back, eventually falling asleep. After a while Harry fell asleep too.
The night had been thankfully vision free and come morning they managed to set off on their travels once more. As Severus had made sure that he had used his healing early enough in the evening, it had successfully worn off by the time they had finished breakfast. They were going a little more slowly, but they were managing.
"Is it nearly Christmas?" Harry asked Severus as they walked, Severus with his arm round Harry so that he could lean into him a little.
"Yes, very nearly, we can check in the next town." Severus suggested.
"They killed all those children so close to Christmas." Harry said the emotion threatening to overwhelm him.
"I know." Severus said knowing that all he could do was be there.
"We can't go on like this much longer." Harry continued. "It is so cold and it can only get colder. We're going to freeze to death before any Death Eater gets anywhere near us. I won't put on any weight if I throw up every morning. He will kill them one by one till there is nobody left and I will see it all."
Severus tried to hug Harry as they walked but he couldn't argue with what he had said. However, they had little choice but to keep on going.
It was getting dark even though it was only late afternoon; they walked down the high street looking for a newsagent shop, so that they could check the date from a newspaper. Severus thought that they were in Onich but for once, he wasn't entirely sure. Sev just wasn't his usual self at all. Well, Albus must have been like a father to him, Harry thought.
"More fucking hippies from that bloody place." An old man grumbled at them as they passed him on the street. They both ignored him, too concerned with their own troubles to even hear. They both went into the shop together, despite the bags and Severus bought them a bar of chocolate while Harry had a quick look at the papers.
"Well?" Severus asked as they stepped outside and he wrestled with the chocolate wrapper.
"Christmas Eve." Harry answered as he took a lump of chocolate from Severus. "All that I saw the other night must have already happened. A week ago maybe."
"So you know you couldn't have stopped it, even if you had gone to him." Severus reminded him.
Harry nodded and sighed. "Stuck out here in the wilderness on bloody Christmas Eve." He grumbled starting to walk down the street.
"It is just like any other day."
"I know." Harry said trudging onwards as Severus took his hand.
"Come on, let's find us somewhere to rest for the night and I'll make you a nice huge bowlful of Horlicks to take to bed." Severus offered.
Harry tried to smile, but it didn't seem to want to come. It was illustrative of their predicament in itself that the promise of a malted hot drink seemed like complete heaven.
