Chapter 14 – The Heart of Everything

"-rikawa-kun?"

"…"

"Hijirikawa-kun—?"

Masato jerked up from his dazed stupor. He lifted his chin away from his palm and turned to the sound of the voice. Nanami Haruka stood silently over him, a pamphlet in hand. "Are you all right? You seem pretty off today," she smiled.

"Oh—I'm sorry. I'm fine," the bluehair silently muttered, extending a hand to the paper Nanami's giving him. "This is?"

Haruka beamed at him patiently. "They're the class plans for the school's end of the year celebration. We're doing a presentation for the Christmas party, remember?"

Masato nodded. Oh right. It's those silly school celebrations again. He skimmed down the paper in front of him. The words seemed blurry and nonsense to him. Since after lunch, his mind was filled with nothing but—

Jinguji.

A chill rose up to his spine at the sudden thought of his name. He could just feel his face heating up. The sensation of the blonde's lips on his burned in his memory and for some reason he was feeling a growing—what was it? Hunger? Deprivation? He shook his head.

He must be tired. Yes, that's it. He wanted to sleep everything off back in the room—

The room. Back in the room. With him. With Jinguji. Again.

Badump. Badump. Badump.

His heartbeats went up rapidly like war drums in his chest. No. I mustn't play into his schemes. He's just trying to seduce me into humiliating myself.

He proceeded to study the paper in front of him again. Nanami and the others were excitedly chattering about the class performance for Christmas. This should make him busy enough.

I don't need him.

Badump. Badump. Badump.

He could almost taste Jinguji's tongue in his mouth again.

Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump.

He clutched at his chest. He shook his head and turned his attention to the blackboard where their class representative was explaining the plans. That blonde might be too flirtatious for his own good but the bluehair would not succumb. Not now. It's just the pheromones. I can overcome this!

He shifted in his seat and took a calming breath. The class was becoming a little noisier now that they had started voting the theme for their performance. Masato turned his attention instead on the paper in his hands. Pretty much organized. After a few minutes, a cheer erupted from the class and claps were heard all around. Looks like they finally got a decision.

Sleeping Beauty.

Oh. That fairy tale. Seems okay.

Wait. What?

He was thinking that the class performance would be something like a choir number or a song. Where did the idea of doing a play come from? It's not even the time for the school festival for these things! But then again, it's Saotome Gakuen. Anything could happen. As if he was not used to the school principal's numerous and fabulous caprices. He remembered that one time he almost swallowed a mouthful of confetti during one of Shining's marvellous entrances. Very subtle.

Masato leaned over to his seatmate and asked, "Is it acceptable for the school that we are doing a play?" The guy beside him replied, "Yeah. It's actually the principal who gave us the options on what to do for the end of the year celebration. It just sucks that all the other choices were taken so we were left with the play." The bluehair could only nod in affirmation. Wonder what the other classes had gotten? It seemed that they would be the busiest among all the sections.

"—would a musical be nice?"

"We can remake the songs!"

"—about the cast, should we assign people now?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"Hey—hey—should we do a genderbend?!"

Masato fiddled absentmindedly at the pamphlet. Wow. They were all excited. The active school environment never ceased to amaze him. He was happy he got to experience these moments in the school he dreamt of attending. He should put away his madararui worries and distract himself with this project.

He couldn't decide otherwise anyway.

Because he just saw his name up on the chalkboard. Under the label 'Princess'.

Well, fuck me now.

"I'm really sorry, Hijirikawa-kun," piped Nanami while on the way to the dormitories. Masato silently walked beside her, clutching the stapled pad which was the script. "They voted you into the role without your consent."

Masato waved it off. "It's there already, was it not? At least they managed to tone it down and give me the understudy role. I wouldn't know if I could act that well either, even though the princess only sleeps most of the time."

The bright-eyed girl beamed at Hijirikawa at his remark, sending off a small wave of madararui pheromones. Masato blushed a little. A middle-seed, and yet quite working the charm. She was cute.

"We will make this into a great performance with everyone's help!" Haruka cheerfully added. "Let's do our best!"

The bluehair nodded in agreement. It wouldn't be so bad now, would it? Aside from dressing up as a girl, that was. But he was just an understudy. He wouldn't be on stage unless the main cast was not available. Shinomiya could pull off that role pretty easily; after all, he was the one who volunteered in place of Masato. Wonder how shocked he had looked when he saw his name on the voting list? The bluehair could only purse his lips in embarrassment. Really? A princess? Not in a million years.

Finally awake eh, princess?

Masato almost tripped on his own feet. Damn, why did he have to remember that?!

"Are you alright, Hijirikawa-kun?" Haruka started, holding a nervous hand to his back. Masato regained his composure. He nodded, his face slightly flushed. He had assumed he had gotten over those thoughts about Jinguji for the meantime but it seemed that they started to come back no matter what he did. He stared at the script in his hand.

You and I will get to know each other very well tonight.

No more distractions.

No more Jinguji.

He bid Nanami good night before they separated to each of their dorms. She was such a nice girl. He watched her disappear on the other side of the road towards the girls' quarters before continuing his walk towards his lodgings. He looked up at the tall building in front of him. The lights were already lit up in their room on the fourth floor. Great.

The wolf was already in his den.

Masato couldn't fathom how long he had been in front of the door to their room. He could hear Jinguji conversing with someone on the phone. He wasn't sure why he had never bothered to open the door; either he was fearful of disturbing Ren's phone call or Ren himself. He felt his chest becoming heavy once again, almost making him choke. If these were to continue, he wouldn't know how he'd bear the following days with the cause living right there with him.

Wait, wait, Masato. Why would you be so affected?!

It was just a kiss!

Just a kiss…

Just a…kiss.

He felt his body heating up.

The bluehair gulped uneasily. He took out a small packet from his bag and stared sombrely at the pale tablets inside the transparent packaging. The medication arrived via private mail during breakfast. Hijirikawa had sought help from the family's old attendant into purchasing this simple over-the-counter narcotic. To calm his nerves. He couldn't call his own doctor for such. He was sure that that person would report to his father. If Mr Hijirikawa knew he had been taking such drugs for himself, he might pull him out of the Academy. He was thankful he had placed a discreet call to the old lady the night prior for this request. Masato knew she was the only other person aside from his sister that he could trust in the house. Mai would panic if she had known about Masato's situation. He wouldn't want to burden another person with worries.

Plus, if he hadn't taken this he might have screwed up the recording and humiliated himself and Jinguji in the process. He knew that there had been serious mishaps in between their work-times due to some stupid madararui bullcrap but the bluehair couldn't let these get away with his studies. I came here to study…not the other way around! Indeed, Masato was still bothered and shaken up with his development with Ren. If he hadn't divulged his secret—if he hadn't lost control of himself-he wouldn't be progressing into this…

I'll make you realize your need for me.

Masato opened the packet and popped a tablet in his mouth. The old attendant had advised in a note to only take a tablet once a day but considering the circumstances, even two wouldn't suffice.

It wasn't even a confession! If I didn't know better—it was a threat! He really wanted to tease me—play with me and my feelings!

And yet apart from all these cons, he still felt a growing need for more of his touch…

Jinguji hang up in irritation. It was another annoying call from his older brother. Booking seats for the end of year school performances? It was just a school event; why were they being so emphatic? So much for total publicity and influence.

The door clicked open and the blond looked up to see his roommate enter. He seemed calm and composed like the usual. He sat down on his bed, watching the latter's back as he fixed his stuff on the desk.

"Busy day, huh?"

"Aa."

Ren cocked an eyebrow. He wasn't expecting such a fast reply. That's a good sign. Looked like he was in the mood for some chitchat. "Heard you guys are doing a play."

A rustle. A clatter. And a rather loud sound of a cabinet door closing. "So you've heard."

Oops. Red alert. The blond could feel venom in his voice now. He ran a hand through his locks, choosing his words carefully.

"Still angry about that kiss, ahn?"

"Shouldn't I be used to your whims already, Jinguji?" came the silent reply.

The blond's eyebrows shot up to his forehead. That was some quick comeback. Ren opened his mouth to counter back but thought better of it. He watched as Masato turned back, facing him to get his bag. The bluehair picked it up and started sorting out the contents, emptying it. As he did so, the packet of medicine fell out onto the floor, crossing the line between them and landing near Ren.

A rush of adrenaline and nervous alarm surged through Masato as he realized what had happened. He saw the blond stand up from the bed to pick up the fallen object. Hijirikawa wanted to run out and grab the abominable thing off his hands but his feet stayed rooted to his spot—too tense and fearful of what would happen.

"You dropped your vitamins."

God freaking damn it.

Masato breathed out in reprieve. Thank goodness that blond idiot didn't know anything. Dense bastard.

The bluehair walked up near to him and reached for the packet. "Thank y—"

Ren suddenly grabbed his arm.

"Why do you have this, Masato?"

Ren's eyes widened for a split-second the moment he had laid sight on the packet. He had never expected to see these tablets again. Not since his mother's death.

"Why do you have this, Masato?"

His roommate only gaped at him, fear and surprise clouding his dark blue eyes.

"Masato, answer me."

The bluehair pulled his arm away from Ren's grip. "I didn't think of you as the type to know about medicine, Ren."

"You're avoiding the question."

"It's personal." Masato frowned and grasped at the packet, but Ren pulled it out of his reach. "I want to know why you have this."

"Why do you even care?" He reached out for the packet again.

Ren raised the packet above his head. "Because I've seen this with my mother. I've seen her use them in her stressed out fits. I've known them all too well, Masa-chan. I know what they do."

Masato lunged at the packets, slightly startling the blond. He got them. Jinguji regained his poise and charged back at Masato. The bluehair raised an arm to his chest, preventing him from going any further.

"You said it yourself, Ren. Stress. Even I get to have my own dose of medication. It's prescribed." Masato lied. "Have I fed your curiosity enough?" He pocketed the medicine.

Ren peered into those unnerving dark eyes. His roommate was serious. The blond contented himself with a sigh. "Fine.—" He went back to his side of the room. Jinguji wanted to ask more from the bluehair but he feared it might instigate another argument.

Why are you taking those?

Well. Masato did break down twice; but that would be too arrogant for him to throw him that question.

You think I can't handle myself, eh, Jinguji? was what he probably would reply. Why are you worried about me?

He was a prideful wolf. True, he had this protectiveness with the younger mermaid-mizuchi but he wouldn't go as far as to blurt out his feelings so quickly. That bluehair might not take it seriously. The blond decided to leave him alone for the night.

"How are you, Onii-chan?"

Masato smiled calmly at the sound of his younger sister's voice from the phone. It was only on rare occasions that he managed to converse with Mai due to fear from his father. He clutched at the phone lovingly. "I'm fine at school, Mai. How about you? How are our studies?"

"Ooh—Mai is getting good at writing poetry!" the little girl quipped. "Sensei tells me I'm very talented for my age! Just like my oniichan!"

Masato nodded his head in awe. "That is very good, Mai! You have to let me read some of your work soon."

"Ha, ha! I won't just yet, oniichan," Mai playfully giggled. "It's a surprise! Ne, oniichan. Mai misses you so much."

Masato bit his lip. "I'll be looking forward to that then." There was a slight silence from Mai. The bluehair heard slight scuffles and a door closing in the background.

"Oniichan, you are still feeling well, aren't you?"

The older brother paused for a while before replying. "Of course, Mai. Oniichan has to be strong, doesn't he?"

"Demo, oniichan—Mai feels it when you aren't well at all."

Masato felt a lump in his chest rise. He almost forgot about their sibling connection. Unlike twins, this bond wasn't as strong but at least they could feel each other's difficulties. He strained to choose his words wisely. "It's just the school stress, Mai. There is no need for anxiety. Oniichan will be fine."

"Please take care. Mai misses you."

"Oniichan misses you too, Mai. You have a good night's sleep tonight, alright?"

Masato waited for Mai to cut the line. He sighed and put away his phone.

Meanwhile back at the Hijirikawa manor, little Mai sealed her newly written note in an envelope. I told you, oniichan. I will protect you—even if it means you have to open your heart to someone for it.

The days rolled on with nothing short of boring happening between the two roommates. Ren somehow stopped having the chance of messing with the mer-croc since both of their class practices for the end-of-year celebration were taking most of their time. Plus Masato had reverted back again to being the rigid 'ape-human' that he was. It hurt—and it bore Ren since he couldn't look out much for the mer-croc—but did he need any protecting nowadays? He was back to normal now. Those outbursts were gone…

For now.

Masato, on the other hand, had focused on studying his script. Although Natsuki seemed to have gotten a hold of the role perfectly, Masato wouldn't risk being laid-back. One couldn't expect what emergency that might happen on the day of the play. The class had started with the props and costumes. A girl in-charge of the costumes approached Masato, holding a box.

"Hijirikawa-kun, do you mind wearing this? So we can do some adjustments if needed."

Masato cocked an eyebrow. "But I'm only an understudy—"

"Just for emergency measures." The girl smiled. "It's okay. You'll get to keep the costume anyway."

Masato could only nod as the girl shoved the box into his arms.

Wearing a skirt was surprisingly comfortable. And breezy. Like a flowy kimono. He checked himself at the mirror. The one-piece gown and bodice fitted well on him. The girls in the class giggled at the sight of him. Even Natsuki, who was already flailing in his gown, remarked his joyous appreciations. Masato only sighed. He waited patiently for his classmates to finish marking the adjustments, their excited chatter ringing around him.

"Should we make his wig curly?"

"His bodice needs a little more lace—"

"I think long straight locks would fit him most—"

"I got the shoes now!"

Masato observed the hullabaloo around him. They only got four days left. He clutched protectively on the packet of medicine inside his jacket. He hadn't taken one for a few days already. He was glad those irritable heartburns about his roommate hadn't visited him yet; and he was keen to keep it that way.

Four more days. And he would be back home for the vacation.