Disclaimer – I own zilch, don't sue.
The lyrics in this chapter are written by 'Journey' unless otherwise stated.
And now...
That she's older
As the embers of romance
Fade to mortgages and leccy bills
Been comfortable and that
Nobody told her
That she'd ever reach the stage
Where her husband bored her
Or she lied about her age
Heavyweight Champion Of The World – Reverend & The Makers
The next morning, Jack woke up with a start, to the sunlight streaking through the curtains in his old room. He shut his eyes tight and pulled the duvet over his head in an effort to block out the daylight. The pounding in his brain was relentless.
Any thoughts of Beth that had plagued him had been temporarily replaced with an agonising headache and a pain in the bottom of his stomach. His tongue was so dry that it stuck to the roof of his mouth and he struggled to wet his lips. Squinting at the bedside clock, he could just about make out that it was 11:37am. This was nothing new; he'd become accustomed to sleeping in until midday on a regular basis except usually he was accompanied by a random girl, fortuitously sleeping beside him.
Groaning, he rolled back over, not quite ready to get out of bed just yet; the desire to sleep off the hangover was too great to ignore. Unfortunately, it looked like his brothers had different plans for him. A loud knock on the bedroom door followed by Bobby barging in was all the notice he was given before the duvet was yanked off and strewn on the floor.
"Get up Jack, we got stuff to do today!"
"Like what Bobby?" came Jack's hoarse response.
"Like finding out what happened to Mom!" Shouted Bobby.
"I feel like shit, man, can it wait until later?"
"We're talking about the only woman in the whole wide World who ever gave a shit about you, fairy. You are not gonna lie in bed all day!"
Jack hated to admit it but Bobby never failed to intimidate him. He knew the older man would never do anything to harm him but he had the knack of getting people to do what he wanted, just by raising his voice. He wouldn't be the one to argue with him.
"By the way, Jackie-boy, who in the Hell was that chick you embarrassed yourself in front of last night?" Added Bobby.
"That was nobody, leave it alone."
"She single?"
"No, she's not single!" Barked Jack from underneath the shroud of alcohol-induced frustration.
"Woah, did I hit a nerve there?"
"Seriously, man, just drop it, I'm not in the mood."
"Jesus, you on your period or something?" Teased Bobby, before walking out of the room to leave Jack to get dressed.
It was only a matter of minutes before he poked his head around the door once again to announce that Jack had a phone call. The sheer mention of the fact that someone had called for him, piqued his curiosity no end. Jack was under the impression that no-one in Detroit wanted to see or hear from him right now. Too groggy to comprehend that he was still wearing only his long, skin-tight thermal underwear and nothing to protect his modesty, he made his way clumsily down the stairs and grabbed the phone from Angel, who looked appalled at his attire, or lack thereof, and motioned for Jack to put some more clothes on. Ignoring him, Jack cleared his throat and put the receiver to his ear.
"Hello…?"
"Hey Jack, it's Beth. Before you interrupt me or hang up the phone or tell me to fuck off, just let me say that I'm sorry about last night. I was rude and selfish. Jesus Christ, here you are, back from New York for your Mom's funeral and there I am, giving you shit over something that happened three years ago. I mean, it's ancient history right? Over and done with. Anyway, that was all I guess, I'm sorry. Do you hate me? Please say you don't hate me!..."
Given the state he was currently in, it took a while for her words to penetrate Jack's brain but once they did, he wasn't sure what to do with them.
"Hello….?" She persevered.
"Yeah…..sorry…….look you don't have to apologise," he offered.
"Well, I'd feel better if you just let me say sorry and accepted it," came her candid reply.
"Of course,"
"Well, I'm going to go before we fall into that awkward silence crap that we were always so good at," she giggled, "what are you doing this evening?"
"Um, nothing. Wait…..no, nothing," he said uncertainly.
"Well, how about we go for a drink huh? For old times sake or something like that."
"You buying?" He enquired, feeling a little more comfortable.
"Hey! I thought you were the big rock star, you should be buying the drinks honey!"
"Hey Beth?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did," she joked.
"When the Hell did you get so talkative woman?" He laughed as he said it; his headache a distant memory.
"A lot's changed around here Mercer. Meet me at 'Johnny's' at seven and maybe I'll enlighten you."
With that, she hung up the phone, leaving Jack standing there listening to a dial tone, in his underwear, with his mouth agape. A few seconds later, he came to his senses and thought better of it; standing there would only provoke teasing from his brothers. No matter how old any of them were, that dynamic of big brother/little brother would always be there, much to Jacks chagrin.
He could hear Bobby and Sofi having yet another raging argument from the next room and it was doing nothing for his rapidly re-emerging headache. This was how it would always go. As kids, Angel and Sofi were 'on' and 'off' more times than any of them could count and whenever they were 'on', Bobby was always the first one in line to voice his disapproval. He would shout at Sofi, she would shout back and it would go on like that until one or both of them stormed out, but not until Sofi had thrown a multitude of Spanish swear words his way and Bobby had threatened to throw her ass out in the street.
Jack just shook his head in censure and made his way upstairs to get dressed, wondering what the day had in store.
Beth was perched on the end of a stool in 'Johnny's Bar', tapping her fingernails on the side of her glass. Every so often she glanced at the clock on the wall in front of her, only to discover that another measly thirty seconds had passed. Sometimes she swore it felt like the hands were going backwards. She'd been waiting for Jack for half an hour and had promised herself that if he didn't show up by the time she'd finished her drink, she wouldn't wait any longer. As if by magic, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to face those strange, yet so familiar, piercing eyes. It hadn't really hit her just how much she'd missed them these past three years.
"Mine's a beer, thanks," she said, winking.
Neither of them said anything more until they both had drinks in front of them and they'd found themselves a table near the back where they wouldn't be hassled by anyone.
"So……..," he started.
"So…….?" Prompted Beth.
Jack looked down at the frosty beer in front of him and gulped half of it down in one go. To him; beer equalled courage and he was in dire need of that right now.
"Easy Tiger!" Taunted Beth, "you don't want to end up in the state you were in last night!"
"I can handle it," he assured her, smirking.
"So how're you holding up anyway?"
"Um, I dunno. Everything's been kinda whirlwind. One minute I was in New York with the band and the next I'm back here burying Mom. To top it off, Bobby's got some crazy agenda that he wants to see through, I've just got a bad feeling about it….."
"I'm sorry……about your Mom y'know, she was a great lady."
"Yeah, she is. Was. Man, that's hard to get used to."
"You're gonna be fine Jack, you've been through harder times than this and come out the other end smiling," Beth balled up a fist and jokingly hit him on the arm to emphasise her point. It made him smile and in turn, gave her butterflies.
"So what's your story anyway, Harper? Married? What the hell were you thinking?" He joked.
"I don't know," she uttered thoughtfully, "Danny was great in the beginning. He treated me like a princess, y'know. I'd never really had that before so I guess he kind of……..swept me off my feet," she hung her head and laughed, "sounds corny right?"
Jack nodded, not completely understanding what motivated her to commit herself to someone like Danny but unwilling to interrogate her further.
"I know what most people think; I'm too young, we're not in love, he's a chauvinistic prick, he drinks too much, yada yada yada……."
"So what's the true story then? Are you happy?"
"I'm not unhappy," she said simply; the regret in her eyes, evident.
"That's not the same thing," replied Jack.
"It doesn't really matter whether I'm happy or not, this is my life now."
They both went quiet but after a while Beth couldn't stand the silence anymore and finished her beer.
"I'm going home," she announced, grabbing her coat and leaving her seat, "you have one of two options Jack Mercer; you can either stay here and drink yourself into oblivion again or you can be a gentleman and walk me home. What's your choice?"
"You're leaving already?" Jack said, surprised, "we've been here for like, fifteen minutes!"
"You left me waiting for half an hour, consider this payback!" She retorted.
"Man, you're evil," he teased.
"Nope, I'm female, there's a difference. Made your choice yet?"
"I guess I'll walk you home," he said reluctantly.
"..and they say that chivalry's dead," said Beth, through a smile.
Jack finished his drink and they left the bar; it was already dark outside and snowing relentlessly. The streets were empty and the traffic had stopped but for the occasional car driving by slowly to accommodate for the weather. It was uncharacteristically peaceful considering that this was Detroit but Beth couldn't help thinking it merely seemed that way, due to her current frame of mind.
They both trudged along, trying their best to shield themselves from the snow that was pelting down. Jack shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his leather jacket to keep them warm and Beth pulled her coat collar up around her chin.
The talking was kept to a minimum on the brief journey back to Beth's house, both of them were far too cold to spare a thought for anything other than staying warm. She lived close to the centre of town and so the walk only took around five or so minutes. When they reached the front door, Beth noticed that Jack was perceptibly cold, the poor boy was shivering inexorably.
"You're freezing," she stated, unlocking the front door.
"I'm alr-r-right," he stuttered.
"You're not alright, you're coming inside. I can't let you walk home like that, you'll catch pneumonia and get really sick and then you'll die and it'll be on my conscience forever and a day so, get!" She rambled, opening the door and motioning for him to enter.
He shuffled inside, obediently and immediately headed straight for the nearest radiator.
"You want a drink?" She offered, shutting the door and hanging up her coat.
"Your husband won't mind me being here?" Said Jack, with a raised eyebrow.
"My husband won't know. He's never back until the early hours of the morning. The plant laid him off and he got real depressed; that's when he started going out every night and drinking……..Hey! You can wipe that look of pity off your face right this second! I'm used to it, I actually don't mind. The less he's here, the less I have to try and reason with him while he shouts at me in a drunken rage." She shrugged.
"Sounds great," he said, sarcastically.
"Ok, so we're no fucking Brady Bunch but it works for me. I know you think I'm stupid; marrying someone who turned out to be just like my Father, Freud would have a field day with me huh?"
"Freud?" Said Jack; a confused look clouding his face.
"Never mind," chuckled Beth, "do you want a drink or not?"
"Sure, what you got?"
"Um, beer……..and beer," shouted Beth from the kitchen.
"Guess I'll have a beer then," he shouted back.
By now, Jack was starting to feel a little warmer, or at least get the feeling back in his fingertips so he sat down on the couch and looked around. Beth's house was modest but homely. It was well looked after at least, even if she didn't have nice things to adorn the shelves and windowsills with. The only thing that struck him as odd was the lack of photographs and keepsakes. It wasn't too surprising; she probably either didn't have any photographs of her parents or didn't want them there to remind her what shitty people they were. There weren't even any pictures of her and Danny, just a painting in the middle of the wall that, at best, could be described as contemporary and at worst; an atrocity.
Beth, came back from the kitchen brandishing two warm beers, it transpired that Danny had polished off the only remaining cold ones before he'd gone out so it was this or nothing! She sashayed over to the stereo in the corner and popped a CD in, before pressing play and turning back with a smile on her face.
"Journey," she announced, "you don't mind, do you?"
"Not what I would have chosen but I'll live," he smirked.
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little soft rock now and again, I have to celebrate my white trash roots once in a while," she giggled.
Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere…
"You're so uncool," he teased.
"We can't all exude that 'rock star cool', Mercer."
"You look like you've gotten plenty confident since I've been away," he noted, as much to himself as to her.
"I wouldn't call it confident, I'd call it mature. I grew up, is all," she acknowledged.
"You definitely did that," he said without thinking.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She enquired.
"Nothing, you just…….you look great. That's all."
"Thanks," she blushed, "it's amazing what three years and a little practise with a make up kit can do, huh?"
A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
They caught each others eyes and neither looked away. The attraction between the two hadn't waned at all during the last few years and the tension between them was palpable. Beth had known she was playing a dangerous game when she invited Jack into her house. She wondered whether it was actual concern over his well-being that had prompted the invite or whether she just wanted him to herself again, like she had a long time ago.
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night
She looked him over and marvelled at the fact that it had taken her this long to notice how little he'd changed. The only real noticeable difference was the fact that he was no longer the gangly teen she'd once known; now he was much more muscular and defined. He'd gone from being a rough-around-the-edges-kid to being a strikingly handsome young man.
Jack, on the other hand, was doing much the same thing. He was very conscious of the fact that he was unashamedly staring at the young woman in front of him but couldn't bring himself to look away. She'd matured alright, in all the right places too, he thought to himself. He'd never really noticed her figure before; she always used to wear clothes that hid it but now he could get a good look and he liked what he saw.
Workin' hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Beth had a warm feeling in her chest, the same one she got when she'd had too much to drink but the only person that had ever given her that same feeling was sitting no more than a few inches away. She was sure she'd seen him inch a little closer to her and felt ashamed that she hadn't moved away. I'm a married woman, she repeated to herself, over and over again, hoping that it would sink in and she could banish the impure thoughts from her head. It wasn't working. Jack inched a little closer to her again; she knew she'd seen him do it that time and her heart fluttered; part in panic, part in impulsive anticipation.
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night
Jack couldn't believe what he was contemplating. He knew from first hand experience that he could have his pick of almost any girl so why did he keep coming back to this one? Was it love or did the thought of it just excite him because she was unattainable; taboo? Either way, her lips were so close to his that he could feel her warm breath on his face and he knew he'd have to make a decision soon. Either interpret the signals she was sending to his own advantage or dismiss those thoughts out of hand and accept that he lost her three years ago.
It had been over a minute since either of them had said anything but to Beth it felt like it had been ten years. She internally berated herself for even toying with the idea of what she was about to do but she just couldn't help herself when she was around him…..
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights, people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlights, people……..
Jack looked down at Beth's welcoming lips and sucked in his breath deeply. Before he could analyse it further and give himself the opportunity to chicken out, he crashed his mouth into hers. She took in his tongue and gave an appreciative moan, encouraging him to continue. All the worries and doubts dissipated and in that moment, it felt like there was only the two of them. Nothing else mattered but this.
They continued to attack each others mouths fervently. To the outside viewer it would look like a desperate act and that's exactly how it felt. The next few minutes were a blur of wandering hands, warm touches and inappropriate acts. Beth found herself pushed down onto her back, on the sofa. Jack pulled away briefly to re-position himself so he could focus his attention on her neck, his light kisses made her shudder from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Just then, he brought his mouth back to meet hers and their kisses became more urgent, their mouths widening and their tongues grazing against each other. Jack pushed himself against her and she undulated against him, invitingly.
He slipped a finger inside the waistband of her jeans and brushed the warm skin underneath. Something about that intimate act made alarm bells ring in her head. She shouldn't be doing this, it was wrong, she thought.
"Wait," she whispered, pushing his chest away from her, "I can't do this," she continued.
Jack sat upright and looked down at her in an almost childlike way. He looked hurt and confused and she hated herself for making him feel like that.
"What's wrong?" He said, sounding genuinely concerned.
"I'm married, Jack, we shouldn't be doing this," she felt the tears well up in her eyes as she said it.
"You don't want to do this? Or you don't think we should do this?" He asked, sincerely.
"It doesn't matter," she said sadly, "we can't."
Jack looked down at his feet, unable to meet her eyes anymore. He felt his heart tighten in his chest and realised that he'd just been denied the only thing that he really, truly wanted. He stood up and went to grab his coat.
"I'm sorry," Beth sobbed.
"I should go," he said flatly.
She couldn't bring herself to try and reason with him, so she just sat and cried while she watched him walk out the door. When he'd shut the door behind him, she put her head in her hands and let the tears fall without trying to stop them. Why was nothing ever simple when it came to Jack?
Thanks to all of you who've reviewed thus far; chrissynmh, DragonRiderMurtaugh, rage-ember, Smiju, babybluesjaded, Esther and sessylover18. They really are wonderful! Thanks for saying such nice things and also for not being afraid to really critique, I appreciate each and every comment :)