Critical Screening

Chapter 14

"When I fell to the floor tonight, I was so scared, I was so terrified. Then I saw you, and I promised myself that if I could just get up, I'd walk over to you... I'd tell you how much I need you and how much I want you... and how nothing else matters." Nathan Scott said with a deep heart of emotion filling his heart on One Tree Hill.

Sometimes it takes dire consequences to make someone realize what matters to them or who. Perhaps how much they care, how little they care or how much they need them. Some people believe before you die a flash of memories of your life flash before your eyes as if it's a dirty little trick for you to remember the worse times, the times you wish you changed instead of the happy.

If you believe this then you may also realize that the last feeling you may ever feel is regret. Regret who never told that boy you loved him, regret you never said those things to your mother or father. Those are the obvious. But what about regret that you didn't tell that guy off, that you never did scream you head off at this girl or maybe just regret that you didn't leave some things alone.

Life isn't fair. That statement is over said , over used and overly true. It's not, its not fair that some people seem to get it all and others none of it. But mostly people tend to recognize them dreams, their wants and needs when they are least possible in happening. That makes life not fair. Just when Nathan couldn't get up and tell her how much he loved her, he realized that he had to and it can be painstakingly hard just as much to wait as it is not to do it at all and regret it.

The halls seemed more crowded them normal. As if a whole new class of freshman entered the Academy for this one pure hectic day. Charlie Radin searched the halls for Nicholas with his tall handsome hair and noticeable muscles but he wasn't found till the final bell rang, after not one sighting of Kale Manning.

"Nicholas!" Charlie called after him in the front of the school with slightly more anger then she intended. "Oh hey." He said stopping in his tracks and turning around to face the blonde bombshell. "I got that note." Charlie said one mutedly. Charlie's mouth opened to speak, she had many things to say and wanted even more answers but Nicholas beat her to it.

"I didn't mean to sound like I was butting into your personal business Charlie, it was just you know we're good friends and everything, and that guy was just hinting too close to something." "Yeah what something." Charlie mumbled under her breath. Nicholas seemed to ignore her and continue.

"Anyway, Ian he just kept asking about you, actually more so about you and Kale." He grunted and widened his big gray eyes at Charlie Radin. "You mean like sexually?" Charlie asked dumbly with a look of disgust upon her face. He nodded.

"What was he saying Nick?" She asked quickly crossing her arms. "He was real big on if I or Emma knew how close you and Kale have gotten. He also went out of his way to say he was your first, the whole thing was quite strange by the time I left he had changed the subject mostly by my own words."

Charlie was still concentrating on the last few words of Nicholas's note. Charlie, I just want you to know I know…She moved slightly in her spot and looked into his eyes. "Did he um, say anything about last year?" Nicholas suddenly got very uneasy. His face seemed to flush out and his eye lashes flutter quickly.

"Nick!" Charlie said after a few moments of silence, noticing the hidden expressions he held. Nicholas looked around and stared straight at Charlie. "…I think you know what I'm going to say." He bit his lip softly after.

Tear swelled in Charlie's eyes slightly. "He told you?" She asked with a strong quiver in her voice. "Charlie, he started muttering under his breath then he was telling me how you told him there wasn't one, so I asked him what and he said a baby. I mean I've heard rumors, I know you're not blind to that but I never believed them, they were always embellished anyway." Charlie could feel her own face flush out more so then Nick's had.

"I would never tell anyone, I promise." "Nick, Kale doesn't even know, I…I" She couldn't talk anymore; she was so embarrassed by her own self while anger burned within herself. "He doesn't?" Nick asked astonished. Charlie shook her head quickly taking a deep gulp of air that suddenly seemed to be in short supply.

"I got to go, Ill see you later." Nick nodded. "I'm having another party tomorrow night, since we have Friday off." He said as if that would somehow cheer Charlie Radin up from her down spiraling life. "Alright" She called as she raced off to the parking lot.

All she wanted was pure silence. Charlie Radin wished she was back in her bedroom the television on low, just enough for her own ears to hear and the door shut and easily locked, sitting in the corner all by her lonesome.

She wasn't that lucky as Lauren Manning was casually hanging out around her car. "Oh Hey Charlie." Lauren said with odd excitement "hi Lauren." Charlie said with deep regret as Lauren smiled at her, lips pressed together. "Can I get a ride?" She finally asked. "Sure." Lauren climbed into the front seat next to Charlie as the car started up with a grumbling of the engine.

"Um Lauren" Charlie said after the silenced killed her but not as much as the day at school she just left behind her. "Where's your brother?" Lauren giggled under her breath and looked out the window as if he was somewhere unspeakable, but that's exactly the vibe Charlie got, that he was in fact somewhere he shouldn't. "He said he had to go somewhere." Lauren continued. "Yeah, but where?" Charlie probed the youngest Manning. "Are you guys fighting?" She asked before Charlie could say anything. "No… why? Did Kale say something?" She shook her head as the Radin's crappest car to date pulled into the Manning house. "He's not home yet." Lauren said without moving.

"Now how do you know that?" "His train wasn't till 145." As quickly as Lauren said this she covered her mouth with widened eyes. "Train?" Lauren Manning slowly nodded as she let her hands fall onto her lap and looked at Charlie red in the face. "Train to where?" Lauren bit her lip and opened up her car door. "He went to see her grave Charlie; I wasn't supposed to tell you, no one was supposed to know…"

Charlie suddenly felt horrible for forcing it out of Lauren. And although she felt bad and upset for doing this to someone who technically was as close to as she was Kale, she felt slightly hurt that this piece of information couldn't be shared with her, at least from Kale.

The car moving again fast and before Charlie could think through going to the train station herself she was there. But as she sat there in her car waiting for his familiar face she swam through several different reasons of why she should or shouldn't be here.

Kale Manning obviously hadn't wanted Charlie to know what was going on with him besides all that she knew, let alone remind her of this horrible date, which she herself felt stupid enough for forgetting. But then again didn't Kale need someone like Charlie who could understand his situation around him since obviously his father nor his sister wanted to provide in these roles. These things made sense but a lot of things made sense to Charlie that she was hiding just as close to her own heart and away from Kale.

As Charlie Radin sat in her dirty old car in front of local train station. Things were changing all around her. The air was shifting and the summer months were rolling in, quicker then anyone anticipated. The last few weeks of both Charlie's and Kale's senior years were about to come swimming by them, but nothing was as easy as they anticipated.

As young kids both of them planned having all the high school experiences together, prom, sports, clubs, graduation and relationships but of course they never anticipated being in one together.

Just as easy it is to regret something, to wish you did it different or never at all, it was just as easy to anticipate. To be excited for one moment or another, to think of all the great things that can, will and should happen and then get there, have your heart racing fifty miles a minute and have it all goes so wrong.