Hello again! I hope you all had a great Christmas! I hope you like this one! It was fun to write!

Chapter 14

The days ahead were taxing, to say the least. Merlin didn't' bring up the kiss, so neither did Morgana. They decided that separation would help their situation. They avoided each other in public when possible. Once or twice, one of them would give a greeting or a nod of acknowledgement, but that was their only conversation. The only time they had together was when they would sleep on the far opposites of Morgana's bed. They had even stopped their frequent magic study sessions at first, but Morgana found that her magic was weaker than it had been before. Merlin had to coax her magic back to life, so they practiced magic once a week at most. It was very uncomfortable for them both when Merlin would take her hand to feed her magic, and they would look anywhere but each other as the fire flowed from him into Morgana.

After almost a week of this, Merlin stole away from Arthur one afternoon and paced quickly to Morgana's room. He opened the door and entered unannounced. Gwen gave him a look and Morgana's eyes widened in anticipation.

"Gwen, can you give us a moment?"

"Yes, my lady." Gwen made her leave without a further glance at Merlin.

"Morgana," he said as he strode over to where she was sitting at the wooden table.

"Yes?" she asked eagerly.

"I'm sick of this," he whined, "You're my friend, and I hate this."

"Me too," she said quietly. Merlin sighed in an exasperated manner and plopped down into an adjacent chair to Morgana's.

"What should we do?"

Morgana cleared her throat. "Well, um, first I want to apologize…"

"Morgana, it's okay."

"Just let me finish, Merlin." Merlin held his tongue and gazed at the flowers in the center of the table to distract him. "I obviously have a different idea of our relationship, and I acted out on it, and I'm sorry." She bent her head towards him, trying to get Merlin to look her in the eye. Merlin glanced up at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. Morgana hesitantly placed her hand on his. "It's okay that you don't share my…idea," she said with a grimace, "I just want us to be like we were before—normal."

Merlin pulled back and scoffed, "Normal? We have magic, we'll never be normal." Morgana grinned.

"Yes, but you know what I mean." He patted her hand on his.

"Yeah. Okay, normal."

A pressing weight was lifted from his shoulders. He now knew that there was hope for them to reunite as they had been before. Merlin knew that Morgana had feelings for him, but he wasn't going to let that affect him. He stood and gave her one last goofy smile.

"See you tonight, then." Morgana looked down and smiled as Merlin exited.

After that confrontation, their relationship healed itself day by day. Morgana's magic was sorted and the two of them were once again sleeping in each other's arms. Little did Merlin know, every time Morgana laid eyes on him her heart was filled with sorrow. She loved everything about him. She loved his smile, his laugh, his charm. He was beautiful to her in a way only someone who has ever been in love could understand. Morgana could find no faults in him. All she could ask for is for Merlin to love her in return.

Morgana tried more than ever to keep her emotions under control for his sake, but with every passing hour it became harder and harder. It was painful for her, knowing that she could get as close to him as she wanted, but not close enough to have captured his heart. Amidst their midnight embraces she would find herself fantasizing about if he would move his hand just a little bit lower…And she would snap herself out of it before it got out of hand.

Merlin would give her small kisses on her forehead some nights that were meant to be comforting, but instead tortured her in a way she never knew existed. She had never experienced heartache such as this, and it was destroying her from the inside. Merlin, of course, didn't understand. He was chirpy as ever, thinking that all was well with his friend. It hurt Morgana, knowing that Merlin didn't notice. She secretly hoped that he would recognize just how much she was suffering by his hand. The frustration of unreciprocated love was building and building inside her, and she was bound to break soon.

"Ready?" Merlin asked cheerily as he entered Morgana's room late one night.

"Yes," Morgana replied rather tautly. Merlin pulled out his book of magic from his small bag and sat crisscross on the stone floor, propping himself up against the wall. Morgana did likewise.

"Okay, so I found this spell that cane give someone an extra finger," he said excitedly. He flipped through the thick volume on his lap until he found the right page. "Do you want to try it?"

"What use is a spell like that?"

"Well, I thought it would, you know, be fun," he explained perplexedly.

"Can we learn a spell that would actually serve a purpose for once?"

Merlin blew out a tense breath and closed his book slowly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said with a clenched jaw. Merlin looked down at his hands.

"Morgana, what's wrong?"

Morgana sighed impatiently, "It doesn't matter." Merlin took one of her hands.

"Everything matters."

"You wouldn't understand," she said matter-of-factly. Morgana drew her hand out of his and he rested his own back in his lap. Merlin assumed that she was cranky because it was probably that time of month again. The last time he encountered her on that occasion, she nearly bit his head off. He decided to act as if nothing was wrong like he always did when she was in a mood similar to this.

"Okay, well, we can try a different spell I found." Merlin skimmed through the rough pages. "Ah, here. It's a spell that makes people fall asleep, and this one…" he slid his finger over the page, "This one wakes them up. How about this one?"

"Sure," Morgana said, uninterested. Merlin let the book drop to the floor in front of him.

"How about we just don't practice tonight?"

"What? No! Why wouldn't we practice?"

Merlin gave her a look, "You're obviously not up for it."

"Of course I am! What makes you think I'm not?"

"You're just in a…temperament."

"A temperament?"

"Yeah, a temperament. I know how girls have issues every month…"

"Oh my God!" Morgana cried incredulously, "You think I'm bleeding?" Merlin shifted uncomfortably. She scoffed. "You're not even close."

"Then tell me what's wrong! I'm your friend, Morgana, I want to help!" he pleaded.

Morgana glared at him. "Just leave it Merlin!" She stood and walked over to the center of the room.

"Morgana, I'm serious, I want to know." He hoisted himself off of the ground and strode over to where she was standing. Morgana put her face in her hands and sighed, obviously frustrated.

"It's you, Merlin. You're my problem." Her hands fell to her side and she backed away from him. Merlin didn't understand.

"What do you mean? How am I—?"

"Because I love you!" she blew up on him. He clenched his jaw. "And because you know I love you! Do you know what that's like, Merlin?" she yelled, "To love someone that doesn't love you back?" Merlin opened his mouth to interject. "Because it's torture. Torture, Merlin, and I hate it!" Tears sprung from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

Merlin was silent. He was ashamed of himself for not noticing, for not being careful around her. Morgana turned away from him in response to his silence. Merlin knew of a way to make her feel better, but he wasn't sure if it was such a good idea. He swallowed and walked slowly over to where Morgana stood, still facing away from him.

"Don't, Merlin," she said sadly. It broke his heart to see her like that, knowing that it was his fault. Merlin stepped around her and made them face each other. Morgana looked up at him through tear filled green eyes. Merlin grabbed her gently by the shoulders.

"You're right Morgana. I don't love you." Morgana looked away and tried to blink away her tears. "I don't love you now," he took a breath, "but I know that I will. Someday, at least." Morgana gave him a look of disbelief.

"What do you mean?"

He chose his words carefully. "I read a prophecy a long time ago, and it was about us." Morgana raised an eyebrow, her eyes still glistening. "The prophecy said that we will love each other."

"What? Why would there be a prophecy just about that?"

"The rest of it said that our…love," he said delicately, "would make us powerful, that our magic would be greater than we could imagine." Morgana thought his words over.

"Is that what the warmth we feel when we touch is? Our shared power, I mean."

"Oh, I've actually never thought of that. It could be."

Morgana chewed on her bottom lip. "But where did you read this prophecy?"

Merlin swallowed, "Oh, uh I found it in a book on accident in a druid's cave."

"Can I read it?" she asked eagerly.

"Oh, I don't have it anymore."

Morgana nodded in understanding. Her mood seemed to be getting better by the second. She smiled widely to herself through the remaining tears. "So you'll love me back?"

Merlin felt immense pity in the way that she asked her question. He swallowed. "Yes, I will. Sometime."

Morgana's breath hitched and she flung her arms around his neck for a bone crunching hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her close. Fresh tears of joy sprung from Morgana's eyes. She couldn't help herself when she pulled back and kissed him desperately. Merlin's eyes flew open, but he didn't move otherwise. He kissed her back without any emotion behind it, only just giving her what she wanted in the moment. He knew that it would comfort her as well. Morgana gripped at the back of his neck roughly. Merlin thought he was sure to have marks on his skin afterwards. Morgana pulled back for a breath, but not long enough for Merlin to attempt to say something before she pressed her lips firmly back against his. Merlin wasn't sure how long it went on for until Morgana finally removed herself from him. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Merlin moved his hands slowly up and down her back, trying to soothe her.

"Um…" she said against him.

"It's okay," he reassured her. He didn't want her to think that she had made another mistake.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I know why you did that."

"Did what?"

"Letting me kiss you."

Merlin didn't reply, but he kept stroking her soft hair.

After a while he asked, "Are you tired?"

Morgana scoffed, "Not at all." He grinned a little, unable to stop himself.

"Do you want to practice magic then?" Morgana leaned away and he loosened his grip a little. She looked up at him, smiling.

"You're the one getting the extra finger."