Note: I apologize if it seems like I've been slacking off. I hope this chapter makes up for it.
I Want a New Drug
I help Ma decorate the Christmas tree, which I have never done before. I can't help but feel a sense of pride when we've finished it, despite Bobby and Jerry's remarks about it being a 'sissy' thing that guys didn't do. Angel had glared at them and helped me a little before being distracted by A Christmas Carol.
"Why isn't there anything on the fucking T.V? All there is, is Christmas movies followed by Christmas commercials!" Bobby complains. Ma glares at him from the kitchen.
"Bobby, language. And Christmas is in two days. Of course there's only Christmas programs on T.V," She answers. Jerry props his feet up on the coffee table and tosses a ball of cookie dough into his mouth.
"Turn it back to A Christmas Carol, man. I was watching that," Angel whines.
"A Christmas Carol? Are you kidding me? It's fucking low budget, old, unlikely, predictable, and old," Bobby answers snidely, continuing to flip the channels.
"You already said old," I tell him.
"Did I say you could talk?" Bobby asks jokingly. I roll my eyes and go back to playing Solitaire.
"He's right, you did already say old," Jerry agrees.
"Okay, whose side are you on, Jer? And really, that's besides the point. Just because I said old twice doesn't make it any better of a movie," He states. Angel huffs in exaggerated annoyance and throws a peanut at Bobby.
"Change it back Bobby. I was watching T.V first," Angel demands with no real conviction. We all know Bobby's not going to change it back.
"Yeah change it back, Bobby. I want to watch it too," I side with Angel. I for one have never seen the movie, so I wouldn't know if it's any of those things Bobby says. The only Christmas movie I've ever seen is Frosty the Snowman when I was really little.
"You know Jack, it really doesn't surprise me that you would want to watch a fairy movie like A Christmas Carol," Bobby remarks.
"Mom!" Angel calls. "Bobby is being mean to me and Jack!" I laugh at his child-like attitude. Ma walks into the living room and looks at Bobby, pointing her finger.
"Bobby Mercer, be nice to your brothers!" She orders. Bobby puts on an innocent face and turns to Jerry.
"I wasn't being mean to them. Jerry, was I being mean to our little brothers?" Bobby asks with mock-sincerity. She shakes her head and smiles at Angel and I.
"Bobby, the kitchen isn't that far away," She chides softly, walking back towards the kitchen. "By the way, dinner's almost ready. Cookies too if Jerry hasn't eaten all the dough."
Christmas morning is loud and hectic. The phone is ringing off the hook from Ma's friends and co-workers. She's inviting a bunch of them to dinner, including a lady Jerry calls Cruella Devil. Ma's friend Julia comes by to help her with cooking, bringing her nine-year old daughter with her.
"Is this yours?" The girl asks, gesturing to the guitar Bobby bought me for Christmas. I nod distractively, watching the hockey game my brothers put on T.V. Before I moved here I knew nothing about hockey, other than it was played on ice. Now I know all the rules and find it almost addicting to watch.
"Can ya play?" She nags. "Play something, please? Please play something. Oh I know, play Jingle Bells! No…play We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Please play a song!"
"I'm trying to watch this," I tell her sharply, hoping she'll go away. No such luck.
"Play a song, then you can watch this. I'll leave you alone and everything," She whines.
"Jack, just play her a fuc-I mean, a song already so she'll shut up," Angel begs, trying hard to keep from cussing.
"You play her a song! I don't know Christmas music," I answer back through gritted teeth. I remember now why I really don't like kids.
The phone rings and Ma yells for someone to answer it. Of course my brothers are too lazy to get off the couch, which leaves me to answer the phone like always. I wish I had a little brother to order around, I think. Then I look at the nine-year old again and take back my wish.
"Jack pick up the goddamned phone!" Bobby barks. I bite back all smart remarks and answer the phone.
"Hello?" I answer into the receiver, almost glad to be away from the obnoxious little girl. Thank God Ma didn't decide to adopt three girls before me…
"Jack?" The voice on the other end asks with surprise. I look over my shoulder, making sure I don't have the attention of anyone around.
"Da-" I begin answering. I stop suddenly.
"Jack, I know you probably hate me, and you probably don't want to talk to me, but I want to wish you a merry Christmas. I'd really like to see you, if you'd come up here…" He tells me. I feel my tongue swell and I try hard to hold back tears.
"Why are you calling me? Why are you really calling me, I guess I should ask?" I state coldly. I won't let him know how much he affects me.
"You're my son Jack. I love you. You know that don't you?" He answers. Just like old times, I think. Just like when I was a kid. I nearly jump through the roof when Ma places her hand on my shoulder.
"It's just me Jack. Are you okay?" She asks worriedly. I nod my response. "Who are you talking to?" My brothers are staring at me from the living room curiously.
"Jack…answer me son," Rhett demands. I cradle the phone close and sigh.
"Rhett…I have to go," I answer both of them, hanging up the phone.
"Son of a bitch!" Bobby yells.
"Stop Bobby, it's Christmas! You're not going on one of your little rampages when it's fourteen degrees outside and snowing," Ma demands. Bobby doesn't even stop moving to answer her. He grabs his coat and shoves it over his arms.
"I'm a grown man Ma, I'll do whatever the fuck I want!" He relents. Julia's eyes grow wide and shift to her daughter.
"Bobby Mercer you will not speak to me that way!" Ma orders, sending an apologetic look to her friend. "We are eating dinner soon. You will not let this man ruin our Christmas."
"Sorry Ma, but it's too late. He ruined it when he decided to call my kid brother and act like he had the right to talk to him," Bobby answers stubbornly. Jerry and Angel stand off to the side, not knowing whose side to take.
"Bobby please-" I beg, but he stops me with a look.
"Don't start Jack. I've had enough of that man! He has no right to call here!" He states angrily.
"Bobby listen to yourself," Ma pleads, "What is this going to solve? You think you can go in there and attack him? Bobby he's in prison!" Bobby looks like a ticking time bomb.
"Ma, that man…he hurt Jack Ma. He hurt Jack, got him addicted to drugs…did God-knows-what to him. Then he came into our house and could have done anything if Jack had been there. He could have hurt him…could have killed him had Jack not convinced me to take him that day. And now…now he had the nerve to call him on Christmas?! I'm sorry but…I just can't let this go," He says with sincerity. Then he left the house, slamming the door behind him.
When I was little I used to wonder what it would be like to have someone who cared about me. I don't really wonder about that anymore.
Please Read and review.