Chapter 14
LIGHTER
THE DUST STORM'S TAIL was lingering for miles along hills spotted with pale green. Luke and Terigo bring their speeders to a stop among the misty dust around the bottom of the hills.
Terigo says, conversationally, "These things are really intuitive once you ride them for a bit."
With his mind mostly on the hills, Luke smirks, "I used to say that when I was little, but no one understood. They just thought I was reckless..."
He tells her that the person is over these hills, so they start hiking.
Halfway over the hills, their hiking turns into climbing.
Terigo says, "At least these rocks aren't spikey or slippery like at the base."
"Yeah, I think there was less acid rain here."
"And I can feel the person now, by the way. Since about a quarter of the way here on the speeders."
Luke scoffs quietly, smirking with good humor, "You mean you only have a quarter of the sensing distance that I do?" He lets her see his smirk to let her know it was lighthearted, but she was already smirking back. He had forgotten until now that she had always felt his intentions before he could speak.
She says, smirking wide, "You mean when you're Light, otherwise you have a quarter of the sensing distance that I do."
He smirks again and turns his head back to continue climbing, then he smiles to himself from the comfort of having such a close friend.
Approaching unscalable cliffs, they consider walking back a half hour to find another way, but they discuss things before resorting to.
Luke says, "If it wasn't as high, I could jump up there by pushing the ground away with the Force. Are you able to do that?"
"No..." she says with the largest smirk, ohhhh the possibilities! "...But, maybe there are enough boulders here for you to move to make stairs up to each of these smaller cliffs."
"Or maybe we could cut some boulders out."
"Or just cut stairs out of the wall.
"Or," Luke says with finality, "Just get on a boulder and I'll..." but he realizes the same thing that Terigo already was:
"But I can't levitate the boulder you would stand on—"
"Yeah," Luke says, disappointed.
"We should try cutting out stairs; I doubt I could even levitate a pebble up there. It's strangely different, how I had to push the dead essence of the lightsaber rather than connect to a living flow, or ask it, so to speak. I'd never seen or tried such a thing until I left Audinic. Our religions focus on people, not things." She goes to the cliffside to start but looks back for Luke's agreement.
About her pebble doubts, he mumbles: "(Size is irrelevant by the way)," as a side note, busy with thoughts. Luke almost gives the ok, but... "Well, then what about me? Levitate me. Maybe you can do it because of your skill with the Light."
Terigo was already considering how, having read his thoughts before he finished, as usual. "Hmm... Maybe... I could see pulling someone closer, if they wanted to come closer, but not... not away, I don't think. If..." And the answer was simple after that, but Terigo was too busy thinking of the method.
"Then I'll lift you up on the boulder, and you pull me up."
"Provided I can," as she looks for a loose rock to stand on, excited to try new things.
Luke concentrates and her rock wobbles and bobbles, but after much straining and calming, Luke gives up with a sigh.
"I can't. My essence won't stay in the rock when it's this close to you. The flow blends in and interferes, like water next to water."
"Hmm. Try again. I'm going to try to lock my essence in, like how I kept my essence from connecting automatically to you. And I'll try repelling yours too; maybe it will stay in the rock that way. But I think I'll have to conjure distancing emotions—Darkness—like anger and annoyance, so don't take anything you might sense in me to heart. Ok?"
Luke pauses only a second to wonder what she'll be thinking about to hate him. "Ok," almost scoffing.
Terigo's smile disappears and her smooth face looks odd to Luke for a moment. Then he realizes it's because her face was showing expressions he rarely if ever saw on it. The expressions that other people use for exasperation and disappointment and even hatred. Raw and clear, without mixing with joy or hope. He looks at her face for a few seconds, mildly amused at how her anger did seem to really exist.
But when he tries her rock again, this time Luke has no real trouble getting her up to a ten foot high landing while she practiced balance by standing rather than squatting.
Sitting on her cliff, she focuses and Luke feels her warm essence enter. After a long moment, she calls down, "Ok. I think I can get this to work if you connect as much of your essence to me as you can, but ultimately, allow as much of my essence to enter you so I can retract it and hopefully pull you with me. And you need to try to keep my essence inside you. I'm not sure how you want to do that. But when I try to pull my essence back, it needs to pull you with it..." She senses his understanding. "Ok then. Let's try it at four feet for now."
"Ok. But I'm starting to think it might take less time if we found another way up," but he feels her longing when he connects.
"Just..."
"Or, actually," having an 'of course' moment, "I can just levitate a rock that I stand on too," as he finds one and gets on it.
"Let's try it this way at least..." Terigo says, trailing off, holding back a whine. Of course it was more logical to do it that way, but this was a chance for a new skill.
Luke decides, "We can try when we get back, we're short on time," and he begins to focus.
His rock wobbles and bobbles too, but he stops again with a more frustrated sigh. "I'm certain this won't work with my rock this time. The flows are just as close as with yours, but I can't exactly keep my own essence away from myself," and he was already thinking of what to do next.
Terigo calls down, "That makes sense now that you mention it again. Have you ever tried to take a Jedi's lightsaber from them, or choke them—hurt them? Telem did, but it doesn't work. It only works on people that aren't that Force-sensitive, like with the Perk shielders. No flow interference."
"So then let's try pulling me up," Luke says.
And so they do.
Luke has no problem letting Terigo's essence in to start, but oddly enough, when his feet began to leave the ground, he feels his essence try to push her essence out. It was as if the strange sensation of his feet leaving the safe ground was causing an instinctual feeling of alarm, then his instincts would try to get rid of what was causing the threat. Trust. Trust that it will be fine. This height would only cause a bruise at worst.
After four minutes at four feet, tumbling and stumbling, they both wordlessly sense the other's confidence in trying for the full distance. So Terigo tries, slowly and tediously. She thinks only of wanting him closer, while Luke does the same, thinking only of wanting closer. And both of them try to avoid thinking of the risk.
Coming over the cliff, Luke's knee bumps the edge and the sudden jolt causes him to lose concentration for a moment. He drops a little from it, which causes another bump to his knees. Feeling the ground, he opens his eyes, which causes him to drop the remaining inches, and he pulls himself up away from the edge. "Terigo, I—" but she already let go of him to let him stand on his own.
Terigo laughs with amazement and Luke almost laughs back, both with open-mouthed smiles. Due to their excitement, the mystery person's presence becomes clearer. It sobers them as they focus for a moment on the person.
"Right, next cliff," Luke says.
With combined efforts, they use the same rock to get her up and Luke's knees only get rubbed this time. And after a few more cliffs, he doesn't drag at all.
On what could be the last cliff, Luke examines how the cliffside is split with walls facing each other. He says, "Don't worry about this one. The walls are such that I can jump up this one using the Force to gain height, pushing off the walls," motioning in a zig zag between the two. "It will be quicker," and he gets ready to move her rock.
"Oh... Well then why don't you go up first and try your hand at pulling me up." She was already feeling his decline in the interest of time. "We're making great time as it is. We saved an hour of climbing at least, certainly more."
"Your skill in the Light Side is better than mine," declining the suggestion.
"But your power in the Force is stronger than mine. It could make up for it." She nudges his arm, like a brother would, but similar to the full palm contact of healing him. She playfully teases, "Come on. All I hear is fear."
"Maybe one of us should have a little fear to keep us rationally grounded," he half jokes, dryly. He hated the idea of having fear, yet hated the idea of dropping her more.
"I don't think this is one of those times. I've seen what you can do."
Her playfulness and smile pacifies him just enough. Luke sighs, "Ok, I suppose."
So he zig zags up the walls while Terigo examines closely to figure out how one might use the Force to gain height.
At the top, he starts concentrating, "Only four feet high for now, ok?" he nearly demands.
"Of course, but this won't work with that kind of anxiety Luke. Not even the Mid is enough. You need to focus on what causes your essence to become Light. The Light will make me light. Sorry—" laughing at the terribleness of the pun. "You need about the same amount of Light that you had shortly before you sensed this person, or while sensing them if possible."
Leia... The feeling of bonding with her, of having her near, of having someone near, closeness. Closeness will make you close—Great, now I made one.
He had felt how Terigo had done it, and vice versa, so it didn't take him much longer than her to figure out. And she had no bad feelings about trusting her feet to leave the ground, or trusting Luke to keep her safely floating, regardless of whether that were true.
The Light felt good. Luke couldn't deny the temptation to stay absorbed in it forever by shutting the world out. He wanted more. Getting her closer would create a stronger feeling, like when she healed me. So they wordlessly agree to raise her higher, and if Luke had been in his normal frame of mind, she would have bobbed and lowered with his concern over the height. But his mind is at ease, thinking of Leia, of friends, of Terigo, of his soul at peace, feeling perfection... So with the Light growing, his forearm itches.
In a second's time: the itching causes a hint of distraction—remembering all his hand stood for; which causes a hint of Darkness; Not now! She's high enough to die! which causes his hard-trained reflexes to stop this Darkness by changing to the Mid, WAIT NO!
And in that one full second, she falls.
Luke lunges over the edge to grab her arm but the sudden jerk on his cybernetic hand causes it to fail for the last time, and she falls through his limp fingers.
Reflexes kick in again to will the Force to pull her up, but in a split-second realization that it won't work on bodies, everything in him roars for her and everything around her to be closer. It causes the dirt and air below her to pull up with the Force, causing it to slow her just a little before hitting feet first as she tries to roll to help break her fall.
She lies motionless—
—"Terigo!—"
—then she withers in pain, just an inch.
On his hands and knees, Luke goes to jump—STOP! If I go down there now and she sees me like this, she won't be able to heal! She can't see me like this! And Leia can't see me like this! Leia, Leia, breathe, breathe...
Hiding behind the cliff's edge, cowering in a ball, he grips his head to the ground until he gets his breathing under control. He stays there until he gets his essence heat under control.
He sits up, keeping his mind clear, letting only the simple thoughts come in. Don't look at her; too risky. How can I get down? So he ignites his lightsaber, pushes it into the cliff edge, and tumbles off, using the friction of the blade cutting down the cliffside to fall at a reduced speed.
He closes his eyes to prevent his mind from remembering her or the pain he caused, and walks over to her. He hears her chanting between choking on the pain or laughing, or both. Both. He calms himself once more, kneels down, opens his eyes. Then calms himself again to prepare to look at her, but he cannot. This is as much as he can do. So he just stays by her side, looking to the horizon, seeing the dust storm in the distance, and closes his eyes.
As if by impulse or instinct, her hand lurches to his leg, clutching it for comfort. She feels him resist her essence from connecting and feels his flickering fear. She herself flickers with sadness, until she rethinks it like she has been raised to do naturally. So her smile returns and grows into her healing-smile. "Your..." breathing heavy and trying to force out words, "You... It's easier now... to heal... because you can... fight the Dark, this close to me. I'm so happy, to see that, you can. It's good I fell. This is a strong, test," and she abandons trying to speak to focus.
Luke merely takes her words in, without emotion. Information received, to be processed later. Now, there was only breathing... and her hand on his leg. So his real hand glides over to embrace her wrist, comforting her to help her heal.
As if she's been giving birth, she tenses for a moment and Luke hears one of her knees pop as if it was previously dislocated. Then she goes limp with relief. She alternates between laughing, sighing, and taking a deep breaths when saying, "Luke, there is nothing, as euphoric as the feeling after bones unbreak," laughing joyously at the joke. Then she pats Luke's leg with the last of her energy.
She lays for a bit longer as if asleep or meditating to finish healing and gather her strength. Then she takes one last deep breath and opens her sleepy eyes. She looks to Luke and smiles to help bring him out of the Mid, but his expression doesn't change.
She sits up and pats his broken hand to say, "Hey, I'm fine. This was great," genuinely smiling, though a little groggy.
But Luke looks to his hand and then to her, gravely, "You need to heal this now. It's too dangerous to leave it like this. I can't use my lightsaber, and I'll end up hurting you again." And his guilt pulls his eyes down to his hand. "I won't be able to fight if this person is dangerous. Won't be able to protect Han or anyone if—"
Terigo gives Luke a friendly hug, deep but quick, consoling. "Do you trust me?" looking at his avoidant eyes.
Luke's eyes dart to hers, "Y—" almost saying 'yes,' thinking she meant in terms of healing, thinking she was going to heal him, but then he wonders whether she meant she won't. So he gives it a full analysis. He considers whether he really does trust her, and considers everything so far, even the lightning. Then he feels her sudden sadness and knows it's from him having to think about it. But he senses her start to feel hope and determination for realizing she'll just have to be better.
So he decides, then looks to her eyes to say, "Yes."
Terigo smiles with a deep growing warmth, "Then trust me:
"This will be good for you."
And she stands up, patting his shoulder once, and starts walking towards their destination.
Luke rushes to his feet, glaring at the back of her head with fuming desperation and dread.
Terigo feels his swirling emotions and stops. She was waiting for him, feeling hopeful.
Luke stands still, fighting with his thoughts. I can't possibly... I'm not invincible, and neither are you, despite how far you've gotten. You can't really think... But maybe that's why she's gotten this far. And I've gotten far... I have gotten far... He looks to his hand, What good is just a hand going to do. To wield a lightsaber? Wouldn't have saved Han if I turned on him. Wouldn't save Leia from the Dark Side if I turned. I need something more than this hand. I need power over the Darkness. I must do whatever it takes for that. Even if that means never seeing this hand again, so be it. I can't be afraid...
Determined, he looks to Terigo's back and opens his mouth to—She heard all that, didn't she...
Terigo smiles without him seeing or feeling it, smiling for his strong will and how she won't be so alone.
Luke collects himself by taking a breath and relaxes into the Mid,—No. Now's not the time for the Mid. Only for emergencies.
So he opens himself past the Mid to return to himself. He thinks about the task ahead and what he has to look forward to: the prospect of a new Jedi, the Light powers he's developing, the company of a new friend, the deep bond, and what he'll be able to teach Leia when he gets back. He thinks about it all, without fear.
He walks to Terigo's side and says, "Thank you," and begins scanning what's beyond.
Terigo glances at him to let him see her smile as a reply, then she continues to scan the scene.
They both look over a valley scattered with pale green splotches and what looks like rectangular rocks, until they strain to look closely and recognize...
...fully intact ruins.