She wasn't my girlfriend. Not officially.

We weren't dating. Not officially.

We were together. Just not officially.

It had been two weeks since I tried to break things off with Santana and in those two weeks, she had changed. She was doing so well before, but after our talk, she was even closer to being the real Santana. She took me out to dinner a couple of times and even bought me a cute pin of a movie camera. She hugged me just because and she'd kiss me, just because. It really felt like we were dating, but just not officially.

We still hadn't slept together and neither one of us had even tried. We were happy to just hold hands and cuddle on the couch while watching a movie. We weren't officially together, but it sure felt like we were.

Santana picked me up for school every day and took me home almost every day. She had started staying after school for some study thing she said she signed up for. When I asked her about it, she just brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal, but it felt like it was.

It was now Friday and we decided to start out Friday dates again. I told Rachel that I wasn't going to go out with the Glee club on Fridays for at least a few weeks. I wanted to spend Fridays with Santana and maybe, in the future, she and I could join the Glee club on Fridays together.

We didn't go out this Friday and instead stayed in at Santana's house since her mom was out of town with her boyfriend on some anniversary thing. We were in her room, and I was sitting at her desk reading a magazine and Santana sat on the bed.

"We should take a bath." she said.

I looked up from the magazine. "A bath?"

"Yeah," she said, getting up, "It's supposed to be relaxing right before you go to bed."

"Uh, OK, sure." I hadn't taken a bath in a long time and I could use some relaxing. "Do you want to go first?" Santana smiled then came to me and took my hand. She led me to her bathroom. "Do you want me to go first?"

She let go of my hand and closed the door. "We should both go first." She unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down my zipper. "Finish undressing and I'll draw the bath."

I just stood there for a bit not moving and watched her draw the bath. Once she got the water running, she started undressing and I still didn't move. I just kept thinking about why they call it drawing a bath when you didn't even have any crayons.

Santana was now standing in front of me in her underwear and bra and trying to get my attention. "Britt? Why are you still dressed?"

I snapped out of my daze. I hadn't expected to take a bath, a naked bath, with Santana and I think my brain overloaded. "Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry." I quickly undressed in like five seconds and stood totally naked in front of her.

She stared at me and I saw that look in her eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time. That look that told me she wanted me. "Gorgeous," she said so softly that I almost didn't hear. She took off her bra and underwear and looked me in the eyes. "Relaxing, right?"

"Not yet," I admitted, staring at her beautiful body, "Just a lot of nakedness. Awesome nakedness."

She laughed and leaned in and gave me a small kiss on my cheek. "Come on."

She took my hand and led me to the bathtub. She got in first then told me to get in next. I got in and settled myself between her legs, and leaned back.

"Your boobs are the best pillows," I sighed.

She put her arms around me and hugged me closer. "Do you want bubbles?"

I smiled and nodded. She reached for a pink bottle and added some liquid to the water and soon we were surrounded by bubbles. "Now, it's relaxing."

"Good." She kissed my temple and we didn't say another word for a long time.

We relaxed, washed each other and talked about random stuff. If this is what being an unofficial couple was like, I wondered what it would be like when we did become official.

I took her hand and brought it up from the water. "Your hands are all wrinkly."

"We have been in here a long time," she said with a laugh, "We should probably get out."

I got up first and helped her up. I was surprised that we didn't end up having sex. When we took showers together, we always ended up giving each other orgasms. Maybe Santana didn't find baths sexy.

When we were dry and dressed for bed, I yawned. The bath really was relaxing. I got into bed and got on my side. "Are baths not sexy to you?"

Santana turned off the main light and got in bed. We still had the bedside lamp on so the room wasn't completely dark. "What?" she asked.

"Well, when we take showers, we always end up having sex," I explained, "But in the bath, no sex."

She climbed on top of me and gave me a quick kiss. "Baths are sexy. You're sexy. I just thought we could relax with a bath."

I didn't expect her to do that. "I got real relaxed."

"Good." She leaned down and kissed me again. Then again and again and each time it got a bit deeper. By the fourth kiss, I was massaging her tongue with mine.

This was the most intense make-out we've had since becoming unofficial and it felt like I was waking up. Not that I walked around asleep when she wasn't kissing me, but kissing her woke up my whole body.

"I missed kissing you like this," she breathed against my lips and I swear I think I died a little, "I missed seeing you naked. I missed laying in bed with you."

OK, was I dreaming? Did I hit my head and I was in a coma? Santana saying these things felt like a dream. "I missed all those things too."

She sat up and took of her shirt, her boobs bouncing a little. She didn't have a bra on and I was so glad about that. She then pulled me up and took off my shirt too and we were both topless. "Is this OK, Britt? We don't have to, if…"

"I want to! I really want to." I pulled her to me and kissed her, our breasts pressed up against each other. I had missed this so much and had tried to convince myself that I didn't. Man, was I wrong.

She broke the kiss and kissed down my neck down to my left boob and took it in her mouth. "Ahhh." She then moved to the next one and it felt just as amazing.

She moved back up to my neck and I felt her lick me. "I missed your taste…how you feel…" She lifted her head to look at me. "I missed being close to you and I don't mean the orgasms, I mean….just being this close to you."

"Wow." I really hoped I wasn't in a coma.

"Shit, that sounded really corny, right?" She had the most adorable shy smile on her face that made me smile too.

Was it possible for your heart to explode from happiness? I hoped not, cause I might drop dead right here on this bed. "No, not corny. Really sweet. I just…I never thought you'd say things like that."

She gave me a quick kiss on my lips. "I don't have to try as hard as I did before. It's easier now, to tell you my feelings."

"Cause we're unofficial?"

"No. I mean, that's part of it." She adjusted herself on top of me and settled herself between my legs a little better. "You know those study sessions I've been going to after school?" I nodded. "They weren't really study sessions. I've been talking to someone."

"Like a doctor? Why didn't you tell me?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not in therapy. Remember when I told you how I felt like I was going to explode?"

"Yeah."

"That feeling was getting worse and it got really bad the day after you, uh, tried to break things off between us."

"What happened?"

She rolled off me and laid on her side, facing me. I did the same and you'd think the two of us topless facing each other would be a big turn on, but I wasn't even thinking about that.

"I was just sitting in the choir room when Holly Holiday came in and practically kidnapped me and took me to her office. Next thing I know, I'm sitting on the floor in the dark, surrounded by candles."

"Like a sonic session?"

"Seance, Britt, and not really. She…she got me talking and talking and the more I talked, the better I felt."

"That's awesome, Santana. Maybe you needed the candles to talk," I teased.

"I just think it was easier to talk to a stranger, you know? Someone who didn't know me or my life."

That made sense. Holly didn't know Santana before and didn't know how much she protected her image and how scared she was. I had tried to get her to talk to me this whole time and it started to feel like I wasn't enough. I guess I wasn't what she needed, and that was OK.

I leaned in and gave her a small kiss. "I'm really proud of you, Santana. Can I ask what you talked about?"

She smiled and moved to lay on top of me again. "I talked about how I kept lying to myself and kept hurting someone I really cared about." She took a breath. "I said it. Out loud. I said it."

My heart started beating faster and I didn't want to get my hopes up, just in case. "What did you say?"

She grinned down at me and bit her lip. "I'm a lesbian." I just started laughing. Not loud or hard but I just laughed. "Wow, that is not the reaction I expected."

It was like everything that happened with Santana in the last year or so, just flashed before my eyes and I laughed. I laughed and at one point, I stopped laughing and I cried. Not out of control crying but just some tears. All the frustration, denials and hurt of the past just got to me. But that was over. She said it.

"Oh, Britt." Santana got off me then pulled me to her in a hug. A sideways hug I guess since we were lying down. "Sweetie, why are you crying?"

I could hear her voice crack and I knew if I didn't stop crying, she'd cry too. "I'm sorry." I took a bunch of deep breaths and got control of myself. "I'm sorry. I just…I've been waiting a really long time for you to say that."

She gently pushed me away from her so she could see me and I saw she had cried a little too. "I'm the one that's sorry, for taking so long to be honest with you. With myself. I'm still not ready to tell the general public but I hated that I couldn't tell you. I knew that sooner or later you were going to just walk away from me…and you almost did."

I shook my head. "No way, I'd never do that!"

"I know, Britt," she said, "I don't mean completely walk away. I knew you'd always be my friend. But, I kept denying you, us, and I could see how much it hurt you but I could't stop myself. I knew if I kept doing that, I'd lose you, and when you tried to break it off, I got so scared and I knew my time was up and I had to do something."

"I'm not going anywhere." I reached over and caressed her cheek. "Say it again."

She took my hand and kissed it. "I'm a lesbian and I want to be with you…officially."

I felt like crying again but I held it back. I was already a mess. "You do?"

"Yes," she said, couple of tears running down her cheeks, "I don't want to pretend anymore. I want to be with only you, and I want you to be with only me. Official."

"Official." I repeated, softy

"I still have to work on going public," she said, "But I need to be honest with you. So? What do you say?"

"Yes." I was so happy I lunged at her and hugged her really tight. I heard her laugh and she hugged me back. "Official!"

"Official." she laughed.

We stayed like that for awhile before I realized something. "Uh, we're still topless."

That made her laugh harder. She pulled away from me and looked at my chest. "Oh, right."

"Are you still feeling horny?" I asked, still trying not to bust out laughing. That question made her laugh even more and I lost it too. We laughed for a long time and by the end of our laugh fest, we were both not in the mood for sexy times.

We got under the covers, still topless, and she cuddled against me, her head on my chest.

"You haven't changed your mind, right?" I asked.

"Never."

"Good, me neither." I sighed and closed my eyes, enjoying the topless cuddling.

###

Santana had parked the car about two blocks from the school and in a street where hardly anyone walked through. We were on our way to meet up with the Glee club for a Saturday practice session, which Rachel had organized, making everyone mad at her. We had gotten out and moved to the back seat where we were currently making out. It was supposed to be quick kisses since we couldn't do that in front of the Glee club, but were were practically having sex. I was on top of her and had one hand on her boob.

"We have to stop," I told her, trying to catch my breath, "We're going to be late."

"But I'm feeling horny now." She licked my lower lip and as a reflex I squeezed her boob tighter.

I took my hand away and Santana pouted. With all my will power, I got off her and sat as far away as I could. "Horny time was last night. Now is Glee time."

Santana groaned and got up. "But we haven't had sex since Chicago," she whined, "And now that we're official, your kisses taste and feel so much better. I can only imagine what the sex will be like. I can't help myself."

I almost lunged at her but I knew if I did, we'd be so late for Glee. "Everything is better with feelings."

"It is," she said softly. She closed her eyes and let out her frustrated sex sigh. I got to learn that sigh pretty well during that week we went to some cheerleading camp Sue sent us to and we couldn't find any time to be alone. "OK, I guess you're right, Britt. Besides, I'd rather not have our first time be in the backseat of my car."

"Uh, Santana, we've had sex, approximately 208 times."

"For real?" Santana grinned, "You counted?"

I shrugged. "I like counting things."

She laughed and scooted closer to me. "208 orgasms is fucking impressive."

"Oh, there's been way more than that. Way more. I just counted the times you did me, I did you and we did us together. Orgasms mess with my math brain and I lost count."

Santana kissed me and smirked. "Now I know your math weakness." That made me blush. "Anyway," she went on, "I meant our fist time since we became official girlfriends. The first time when I won't try to hide my feelings for you."

Part of me still thought I was dreaming and thought this was too good to be true. Finally knowing how she felt about me was such a relief. Although she hadn't said it, I knew she loved me more than a friend. I was 97% sure she was in love with me too.

"Maybe we should wait then," I said, "Go on a date, then sexy times. That's what they do in the movies."

Santana's smile disappeared and I saw her take in a deep breath, like she was trying to calm herself. Maybe that was too much. "Or not. I mean, we don't have to do date stuff…I mean we already went out to dinner a couple of times, so that counts. Forget I said anything…let's just have sex right now…''

"Brittany!" Santana reached form my hands and held the to her chest. "Take a breath and slow down. A date is good. I'm not freaking out, I promise. I just…I've never really been on a real date before and I hope I don't screw it up."

"Really?" That was surprising. "But you went out on a date with Matt. And Puck. And that basketball player."

She shook her head and laughed softly. "Those don't count. I mean a real date with someone I actually want to be with."

I couldn't help but smile. "Oh."

She leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. "I'll think of something, OK? You just sit back and relax."

I felt like a glass off champagne with all the bubbles fizzing up to the top. The bubbles were giving me that tingly feeling. That Santana-tingly feeling. "I can't wait."

"Me neither," she said, "Now, come on, let's get to school. Oh, did you call Rachel about giving you a ride after Glee?"

"Yeah," I said, "I just have to listen to her latest song first."

"Ugh, the torture," she groaned.

"Are you meeting Holly again?"

"Yes. She and some other teachers have some weekend conference thing at the school. I have a big update to tell her," she said, smiling.

"Make sure you mention the date."

"I will." Santana winked at me then got out of the car to get into the driver's seat. I did the same and got in the passenger's seat. Now, I just had to find a way to get through the day without thinking about this date. That was going to be hard.

"That's what she said," I said softly.

Santana turned to me. "What?"

"Nothing."

Note to self, cut down on binge watching The Office.

-tbc-

A/N: Thank you all so much for the support with losing my work. You all restored my desire to finish this story. I did try one of those recovery programs and sadly could not recover what I needed. Like some of you said, maybe I can make it better. :) And the guest who quoted Monica Geller, that was the first thing I thought about. :-)

A big THANK YOU to zachyntubbs for pointing me in the direction of an awesome fan art by ohvalerievalerie on tubmlr. So amazing. You know you've made it when someone does a fan art for one of your stories. :-p

I'll continue to try my best to update every Sunday, even if it is short chapters like this one. It just means this story is probably going to end up being like 40 chapters long.

Thanks again everyone.