Chapter 14: I Need Answers
Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana. However, I do own the poem, I Can't.
(Oliver's POV)
My eyes darted towards the doorway and there stood none other than Miley. Her once icy blue eyes now looked as if they were on fire. Her face was scrunched up in a snarl and to be honest, I was freaking petrified.
"U-uh, Miley, what are you d-doing here?" I stammered.
"I'm here to have a little talk with Lilly," she said, pursing her lips.
"Oh, r-really? What about?" Lilly asked, putting on her innocent act. I was pretty sure Jake had told Miley about him finding us in here. After all, they do tell each other everything. I was just wondering why Miley was so furious.
"I think you know," she responded, her long curls bouncing about. I could see Lilly looking at me in the corner of my eye, but I didn't bother giving her any acknowledgement.
When Miley got no response from Lilly, she turned to me and said, "Oliver, would you mind leaving, like NOW?"
I could've sworn steam was emitted from her ears and at that point, I obliged without even thinking it over.
It was then I realized that this was my bedroom in my house. So, trying not to enlarge the flame in Miley, I politely said, "But this is my house."
Seconds later, Miley locked her hand around Lilly's wrist, thrusting her upward and off of my bed. Without any words, the two exited one behind the other.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Everything was so complicated and it shouldn't even be this way. I'm starting to think I would've rather had Lilly just stay in New Jersey. I mean, her visit has caused nothing but trouble.
Well, trouble and the loss of someone's virginity.
Yeah, I know. Shocker here, right? I mean, me, Oliver Oken, the pimp of all pimps; a virgin? Well, technically not any more, but still. My persona may seem like I've tapped every girl on the cheerleading squad, but the truth is, I was really holding out for the right girl. The perfect girl. The girl that was my soul mate. The girl I wanted to spend my life with. And despite what it may seem like, I got my wish.
No, I didn't want to lose it because I was drunk. No, I didn't want to lose it to a girl who was also drunk. And no, I didn't want to lose it when I wasn't ready. But yes, definitely yes, did I want to lose it to Lilly.
A loud ring echoed throughout my bedroom, putting an end to my thoughts. I flipped open my phone and put it to my ear. Squeezing the bridge of my nose, I answered, "Hello?"
"Hey man, how's it going?" Mike's voice traveled to my eardrums.
"Crappy," I said and the pounding already in my head got heavier.
"What? You mean my plan didn't work?" Say what?
"What are you talking about?" My head fell backwards, doing a horrible job of demolishing the pain.
"Well, I may have slipped a condom on your end table being the great friend I am." I could feel my eyes widen drastically.
"What?!" I shouted. As if on cue, scenes from last night then engulfed me. Images flashed before me as a flood erupted. Well, at least I know we were safe...
"What, I could tell you still had a thing for Lilly. Please, a bat could tell that you hadn't gotten over her."
"So? You do realize she has a boyfriend, right?"
"Yeah, a boyfriend that's on the other side of the country. But it didn't work anyway, so what's the difference?" I froze, and silence moved to the other end of the line.
"Wait a minute," Mike said and I could almost hear his mind piecing things together like jigsaw puzzle, "You slept with Lilly, didn't you?!" Once again I remained silent and he shouted, "Yes! I am brilliant." I groaned, and replied,
"How are you brilliant? You can't just sleep with someone who is trying to be in a loyal relationship and think everything's going to be alright. Not to mention I was a vi—" I began, but stopped myself. None of my friends knew I was holding out. Please that would rag on me for all of eternity if they knew that, especially considering my reputation.
"You were a what?"
"Nothing," I tried to clear my mistake but it wasn't working. Crap, the cat was let out of the bag.
"No," Mike laughed, "no flipping way was Oliver Oken, Smokin' Oken, a virgin before last night. This is comedy right here." He continued laughing and I just shut my phone.
Why do my friends get so much pleasure from my sex life?
Whoa, rewind. I did not, I repeat did not, mean it like that.
But I hope Mike remembers karma's a bitch. Trust me, when Lilly finds out Mike's the cause of this whole mess, she's going to flip out. But then again, would Lilly and I have slept together even if she didn't see the condom? I can only remember tidbits of information from last night, so maybe we were planning on doing it anyway and the condom was just thrown into play. I don't know; this is just too much for me.
I mean, where will Lilly and I stand after this? What will happen to our friendship and even a potential relationship? I'm probably not making any sense at all but I'm just so confused.
I don't know if I should be mad at Mike or not or if I should be happy this happened or not. Well, technically I'm angry that I can't remember anything from last night. Your first time is supposed to be special and you should cherish it for the rest of your life but right now, I don't even remember it. I don't remember Lilly's touch or her kiss or her exposed body. I can't remember anything and I'm mad at myself for being so careless.
Should I be mad that Lilly's first time wasn't with me? Should I still be mad that she lied about being a virgin? Should I be mad that she wants to just completely forget about what happened between us last night? Apparently she doesn't give a crap about it so maybe I shouldn't either. Maybe I should just be like almost every other guy out there and just be glad I lost it before my high school graduation.
I let out a scream of frustration. Well, it was more like a grunt but who cares. I then proceeded to reached into the drawer on my end table and took out a red hardcover book with my name on it. Filling it were bunches of blank, white-lined paper. I ran my thumb over it and could remember the day I got it. Lilly gave it to me in fifth grade when we were studying poetry. She told me that although skateboarders were hot and musicians were sexy, poets and the sensitive type were just plain out attractive. I didn't buy it at first but then she started crushing on a kid named James who recited a poem in front of the class. The poem itself wasn't that great, but Lilly fell hard for him. I can remember it perfectly considering I was jealous to the extreme.
I searched for a pen and found a blue one lying on the floor. Clicking it, I used the other hand to open the notebook to the first page. I exhaled and just let myself go. The words just flowed out freely and naturally. Before I knew it, I actually wrote a poem. It was simple, easy, not taking much effort and I knew why. It came straight from the heart, straight from the place Lilly holds in my heart. I titled the poem and stared hard at the page, overlooking my work. Taking another deep breath, I read it aloud,
"I Can't
I can't help but stare;
Stare into your piercing eyes.
I can't help but let;
Let out these earth-shattering cries.
I can't help but wish;
Wish to have no fears.
I can't help but hope;
Hope you will wipe away my tears.
I can't help but long;
Long to be that one.
I can't help but say;
Say I just want to pick up and run.
I can't help but know;
Know you were a risk I was willing to take.
I can't help but question;
Question every action I make.
I can't help but ask;
Ask how come you and I will never be.
I can't help but think;
Think why not me.
I can't help but blush;
Blush when I see you smile.
I can't help but pray;
Pray that you'll stay for a while.
I can't help but feel;
Feel this immense attraction towards you.
I can't help but wonder;
Wonder what it would be like if you loved me, too."
A/N: Wowowow! I cannot thank you guys enough for your reviews! I seriously was in shock at how many I got for the last chapter. Thank you so, so, so much for the reviews and all the birthday wishes! Honestly, I appreciate it so much. You guys totally deserve to be recognized so I want to give a special thanks to:
starcrossed.emma, mileycyrusfanforever, lilerin91, Miss Authoress 13, Nicky69327, ForbiddenxMelody, iditarod2029, x miss magic x, Sidhe-Anomaly, mitchelmussolover91, sweetcaroline, animallove6991, Julx27xluvsxHM, JennySaysHa, Sumer1994, we'll.make.the.great.escape.-, dancergrl7231, SupaDorkiiex3, LBD, Spencer-Sweetie, Romin, avchocaholic, tempz, OhSoCaliXoX, loveydoveymidget261, TVHollywoodDiva, marchingbandfreak, speedsONEandONLY, x3JBFANx3, TotallyEmilyOsment , Why should I say?, Addiedreamsof Zashley, sarahraichu44, LBD (again lol), rachel, and caligrl497.
Thanks again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I did in fact write that poem so yeah, it's not that great, but please no stealing. I am so, so, so, so (the SOs go on) sorry for the wait. Stuff's just been crazy lately between graduation, trips, and parties and to top it off I was in a huge fight with my best friend. But finally, I'm off from school, so updates should be much quicker and this fic will be over before you know it. Well, guess that's all, thanks, much love, Val :).
P.S. Sorry about the spacing in the poem and everything. I tried to make it so that it didn't double space but when I uploaded it, it got all messed up and I couldn't fix it. Also, I wrote this poem a while ago so really it was in a girl's point of view, so if it seemed sort of out of place, that's why.