Chapter 14

173 Miles

Life had continued on without them while they'd been sorting out this mess but several emails and a few phone messages pulled them back into reality. Jess needed to get back to Truncheon, his inbox was overflowing and Matt was keen to get back to the New York store after covering for him these last few days. Rory had deadlines looming and a new pile of books awaiting her attention on her desk back in New Haven. The time between their mid morning meeting at the bridge and now they had both been living in a bubble. That bubble was about to burst.

Jess was quiet as he sat across the table from Rory, watching her face as Luke shared the events of their road trip to New Haven with her and Lorelai.

"So that's that then," she said, only the slightest hint of a question in her words.

"That's it Rory," Luke assured her, "You never have to worry about Dean hurting you again."

She quietly thanked him before excusing herself from the table. Jess made to follow her but she turned back to halt his movement. She needed some time on her own to think, to process, to plan. She gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand. He lifted her hand to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss into her palm before releasing it back, letting her go. Jess watched Rory leave and on hearing the click of the door closing he turned to Lorelai and Luke.

"We done here?" he asked.

Lorelai detected a slight barb to his tone, taking her back in time to the 17 year old version of this man who stood before her now. She hadn't really heard his side in all of this but the look she saw in his eyes as he watched Rory walk away from him just now told its own story. Without waiting for a reply, he rose from his chair and crossed the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge on his way to the back door.

"Feels like we've been here before doesn't it?"

Jess turned to find Lorelai standing next to him. Nodding in awkward agreement, he holds her gaze a moment before shrugging his shoulders and looking back out across the yard. "Not so much the same though now is it?" she continued on rhetorically.

"I mean for starters, you're old enough to drink that." motioning to the beer in his hand that he was still yet to take his first sip of.

"You fell for Rory that day, I saw it happen and my mother's instinct kicked in with raging alarm bells and red flags. We didn't get off to a very good start that day, you and I."

Jess was still looking out at the yard as she continued but he was listening, interested to know which direction her rambling would take them.

"I hope to think I have a better idea of who you really are now Jess. The two people I love more than anything else in this world both love you and that has to count for something, right?"

Finally Jess moves his head, ever so slightly, checking Lorelai's face for insincerity but he finds none there.

"She just needs time Jess." she continues. "She loves you, I can see that now and I actually think you make a good team, especially after seeing how caring and supportive you have been. As much as it hurt to know she hadn't felt like she could come to me first, I'm glad she had you to go to. This is not a pleasant situation you've found yourself entangled in but the way that you've stepped up and supported my daughter puts you right near the top of my list of favourite things - not quite up there with coffee and Luke, but still, you're right up there."

The two of them stood in silence then Lorelai placed her hand on Jess's shoulder to turn him to face her to shed one final thought.

"She loves you Jess. Just give her time."

She headed back inside leaving Jess alone once again with his thoughts.

Rory left the house without any thought as to where she was headed, she just needed to be on her own for a while. Her hand seemed to naturally navigate to her abdomen, absentmindedly protecting this new life that was growing inside her. She let the tears fall from her eyes as she walked, her mind busy with decisions yet to be made. She could see their faces if she closed her eyes, the way they had all looked at her just now as they sat around the table in the kitchen that had always been such a cheerful happy place. They tried their best but the pity was there and she didn't know if she would ever be able to erase that from her memory.

She'd seen that look in her mother's eyes once before. They'd been in that kitchen then too. Dean had just sheepishly walked out the back door while Rory tried desperately to smooth down her hair and straighten her clothes. Was that the moment? Was that the point at which everything started to go wrong? What if she'd just said yes to Jess when he'd showed up to her dorm room? All her boxes were already packed, she had the entire summer wide open, what if she'd said yes and run away with him then? He'd told her he was ready and she wanted to believe him but her heart was still broken from when he'd left her before and she wasn't ready to take a chance on him again. How different her life might have been if she had.

She shakes her head, mentally chastising herself. No point dwelling on the what might've beens. She'd made her bed and now she had to live with her mistakes. Her hand instantly went back to the place under which her baby quietly lay. Jess's baby. She would never be able to see that as a mistake. She didn't even know if she believed in fate but there was no other word more apt to describe this blessing. Whatever happened, she would never be alone. This baby would never look at her with pity in its eyes, only ever love. She found herself standing on the bridge, an old song entered her mind about all roads leading to home eventually. This place was her home. Lorelai and Luke. This town. This bridge. Jess. Why then did she feel the need to get in her car and drive back to New Haven?

Jess was putting the last of his things into his car when Rory returned from her walk. He needed to get back to work and Rory had her own car so could stay here with her mum a little longer and come join him in Philly when she was ready. He could see in her eyes that she had made a decision while she was gone but he was afraid to look too closely. Instead he pulled her into his arms, holding onto her as if he might never get to again. She returns his embrace, mirroring his fervour, only pulling away to wipe a fresh cascade of tears from her face and kiss the worry from his.

"Good walk?" he asked her, risking his heart by looking into the depths of her blue eyes once more.

"I've decided I'm going to go back to New Haven," she responded quietly, averting her eyes.

Jess needn't ask for confirmation, the use of "I'm" already speaking loud and clear that this would be a solo outing and he was not invited. He kissed her one last time before letting her go. The only word he spoke was "okay" as he climbed into his car, started the engine and once again found himself running away from this beautiful woman who had once again broken his heart. He would call Luke when he got there, apologise for leaving without saying goodbye. Platitudes could wait. It was his turn to need time to think now. He cranked the radio the whole way to Philly to prevent just that. It didn't escape his notice however the feeling that while he was driving towards Philly he was getting further away from his home.