Disclaimer: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

Morning existential crisis

2017 started with Robin in television. She was covering the New Year's Eve of WWN and Barney was watching it. When the countdown started he remembered the the last words Robin ha said, talking with him on the phone: "I wish I could kiss you at twelve o'clock." Many things had changed in their marriage, but Robin still worked a lot. Not as much as foreign correspondent, but still a lot.

They didn't talk about work, not since the fight. Robin quitted her last job and he... Well... He just continued doing business —or running a lifestyle blog, as Robin says—. And their relationship has gone well by that moment.

"I miss you last night," he said when she woke up the next morning.

"You saw me on television."

"Yes, but it was boring. I called Ted and Tracy, but they didn't have nanny and Ted didn't want to left the children with Clint and Virginia so—" he told. "However, I tried with Lily and Marshall, but they were at St. Cloud, to Lily's despair. She sounded like she needed a savior."

"I'm sorry for left you..." She sat down on the bed. "I'd prefer spent the new year with with you than with the idiot of the camera man. Oh god, he was more stupid than Sandy Rivers..."

"I can imagine your face behind the cameras," he laughed at her. "Maybe a 'oh, fuck, I'm surrounded by idiots' face."

"Yeah, exactly that face," Robin agreed. "I never tought I'd say this: but I really would enjoy more last night with you than in television. I love being a reporter, but, damn it! Not all the time."

"One year ago you simply would have gone without regrets," he said... And he regretted it in the same instant that it came out of his mouth.

"One year ago we fought all the time, and I was married to my career," she pointed. "Now, I'm an anchor, I love being an anchor, but I also want some fucking free time. I didn't realise before but I had spent so much time trying to become famous; and now all the people who have seen me on television recognise me. I achieved it, and now on? What the hell I do?"

"Try to relax? Maybe until breakfast? I've heard that having existential crisis before breakfast isn't very good."

"Damn it, Barney! It's serious!"

Yes, it was so fucking serious and important for Robin that he didn't know what to say. It was unbelievable. When the idiot of Sandcastles in the sand broke with her for the second time, he knew what to say —and then they had had sex for the first time...—, when her father didn't called her the day of the huracaine, he also knew what to say. And when she found out that her mother never had took the plain to her wedding, he had comforted her. But in that moment, when Robin was realising that her career wasn't so fulfilling as she had thought, he didn't have a clue of what to say in order to comfort her.

Damn it! That marriage had almost ended because of Robin's career! For years, nothing was more important than her career.

"I know. I know," he said. "It's only that... This is everything for you. Your job. You love it. Or al least you used to. I don't know what to—" Finally, Barney simply hugged her. "I don't mind if I have to share you with your career if you still love me and want to be by my side and have some time for me. I want you to be happy, Robin. In the way you want. But I want you to be happy."

"It's just... Nonsense. I—"

"If you say it, it isn't nonsense."

"It's just... I thought it'd be different. Being a foreign correspondent, or a famous anchor. But the first thing just gave a crazy and chaotic lifestyle and the worst crisis of our marriage by far, and the second only stress. I'm famous but... But... Oh, crap. It isn't the way I thought."

"How long have you kept this hidden?," he finally asked.

"More than you think. I don't wanna worry you."

Yes, that's Robin.

"Don't say nonsense. You're never going to worry me." But, the truth is Robin didn't was the kind of person that talks about her problems and neither him. Messes. That is what the were. Messes.

There's a point when you realise that you can't make plans, because life throw it all to the void or if your plans work, you realise things aren't as perfect as you thought. And that's Robin in this chapter.