Natsu watched as the crushed plants in his hand went up in flames, face twisted in a scowl as not even the multicoloured sparks and thrum of his magic in his blood lightened his mood.
"Natsuuuuu, I said I was sorry ." Happy chimed above him, voice apologetic and movements agitated as he flew in circles around Natsu's head. Natsu huffed as he let the ashes fall into the mixing bowl in front of him and pile on top of the dark green paint. Angelica root, eucalyptus leaves, and pear blossom flowers were now reduced to ash and mixed together, charms of inspiration, protection, and comfort started earlier when Natsu had been grinding the plants before Lucy had barged in. Natsu was thankful he had been in a better mood when he had been casting the spells heightened by the natural plants, as his mind was in no place to comfortably cast magic.
"Have ya ever been blueballed, Happy?" Natsu snapped, mixing the paint more harshly than necessary as he refused to look at his friend. "No? Well it fuckin' hurts ." He continued to grumble, shoulders relaxing slightly as a gentle weight settled on his head, Happy nuzzling into his scarf tying his bangs back.
"Why don't you go back then?" Happy asked tentatively, guilt lacing his high voice.
"'Cus the moment was ruined and there's only so much my dick can take," Natsu explained dejectedly, the last remnants of his irritation melting away as he put a cover on the paint. If he tried to make anything right now the strokes would be harsh and angry, not the ideal for a forest at dawn. The other paints were mixed, and Natsu had set aside dried spiera to dust the painting with afterwards to add the effect on light dancing between the dark single colour of the trees' horizon.
It would mainly focus on the details of the border of the foliage rather than the colour, but the hippy lady he was painting for was into that modern look, and Natsu enjoyed the opportunity to experiment and try new styles. Granted, he would probably stab the canvas with the brush if he tried right now.
So much for working on his orders.
He debated going back to Lucy's like Happy had suggested, but cringed inwardly when he felt himself rub against his pants. In this state he was likely to jump her in his sleep, and he wasn't about to risk her trust or a broken jaw just to fall asleep beside her. He would return to her bed tomorrow after some 'cool down' time -read: jacking it as many times a humanly possible. With a hint of sadness he eyed the blank canvas, fingers twitching in the need to do something. Glancing at a can of unopened red paint, he debated practicing his style and technique for a few more hours. A small smile tugged at his lips when Happy gently voiced his encouragement, seeing his witch's pause and guessing his thoughts. Natsu let his cheek lean on Happy's head when the cat crawled onto his shoulder, perched there like it was his rightful throne. Natsu snorted at the idea of 'King Happy', and he ignored the cat's amused -if confused- look.
He had energies to focus, and he might have just found the second best outlet for tonight. What was the worse that could happen, Natsu would waste a few hours and a fresh canvas?
Natsu ran into the room, crudely made figure of clay in his hands and bare feet slapping on the wood.
"Igneel, Igneel, Igneel! Look look look! I made a thing like you do!" He shouted, bouncing on the balls of his feet when he came to a sudden halt in front of a man seated at a tall workbench. Natsu could barely see above the counter, and he rose on his tip toes to see what the older man had been working on before Natsu had barged in. He yelped as he was shoved down by a rough hand ruffling his hair, the large hand remaining in his wild short spikes as Natsu glared up at the man.
"No peekin' squirt, this is grown up shit I'm workin' on right now." A deep voice chastised light heartedly. Natsu whined loudly as he tried to push against Igneel's hand to look at what the man had been fiddling with, curiosity making him forget about the object in his hands.
"Come on Igneel! Ya can tell me, I'm 8 now! That's almost an adult, ain't it?" Natsu complained loudly, eyes bright as he struggled against the hand still resting on his head. The hand slipped from his hair and Natsu crowed in victory, missing the way Igneel's eyes widened in shock as he gripped the edge on the desktop to try and gain some more leverage. He was stopped from examining the twisted and bent hunk of metal closer by a heavy hand on his shoulder turning his body to face Igneel's. The man had moved from his stool to kneel in front of Natsu, their eyes now level. Natsu blinked in confusion at the seriousness in Igneel's dark eyes, sun and age lines around his nose and eyes more pronounced by the lack of his usual smirk and dark skin. Thin working glasses were pushed past his forehead and resting on a scaled scarf that held back Igneel's unruly mane of flame red hair.
"What do you mean you're 8 now? When was your birthday?" Igneel asked, searching Natsu's face with concern. "I would have done som-"
"Oh nah, it's today!" Natsu interrupted, reminded of the object in his hands at the change in subject. He thrust it closer to Igneel's face with a toothy smile, basically vibrating with energy as he showed it off. "But that don't matter anyway, not like it's 'portant or anything. Look, look! This is what I wanted to show ya!" He pushed it into Igneel's face again, smile falling as Igneel continued to ignore the statue and pushed Natsu's outstretched hands away with one of his own.
"Hell you talkin' 'bout it not being important?" He asked gruffly, eyes narrowed, right one thinner than the left due to the large 'X' scar on his cheek. Natsu shifted uncomfortably, statue falling dejectedly in front of his body.
"Ze never did nothin' for it, so it don't mean nothin'. Just the day I was born or whatever. But it's also the day I met you, so it ain't all bad I guess! A-and look! I made this, like you!" Natsu explained, forcing cheeriness as he lifted the statue to his chest. He looked up at Igneel hopefully, bouncing when the older man's eyes finally looked down at what Natsu was holding.
It was a badly built cartoon dragon, disproportioned head and tail with one wing dropping lower than the other. Natsu had spent hours on it, looking through Igneel's statues and drawings to try and make something as cool as he could. The small seed of pride he had felt in his chest was slowly being snuffed though, as Igneel continued to stare at it without a reaction.
"You... made that?" He asked slowly, looking up at Natsu with a curious expression. Natsu nodded, lowering the statue slightly as he looked away.
"Ne-nevermind, it was stupid anywa-" Natsu mumbled ducking his head as he tried to turn away, Igneel's firm grip stopping him.
"Hey, hey, don't get like that on me!" Igneel barked, Natsu shrinking back instinctively at Igneel's outburst as he murmured a small 'sorry'. "Fuc-shit, no, Natsu, ya don't have to be sorry, really kid. I just want to get a better look at your... umm, frog?" Igneel said in a softer tone, voice gentle like one would use to sooth a cornered baby animal.
"It's a dragon!" Natsu squawked, eyes furrowed as he scowled at Igneel indignantly.
"Ha!" Igneel spat out a sharp laugh, amusement clear as he looked over Natsu's sudden return to his regular lip and fiery attitude. "Damn straight itsa dragon!" He said with a hint of smugness and smiling encouragingly when Natsu beamed up at him, obviously glowing under the praise.
"Uh huh! And I made it for you!" He continued proudly, chest puffing out as he pressed it into Igneel's face again, smiling widely when Igneel tentatively took it. "It hasn't been baked yet 'cus I couldn't get the kiln started and the chair kept wobbling when I tried'a stand on it and then I fell but I didn't squish it so I figured it'd be good enough like that and I didn't break the chair I swear the one leg's always been shorter than the others-" Natsu rambled excitedly, hands clasped behind him as he rocked in the spot.
"But why?"
Natsu blinked blankly up at Igneel, the man holding the clay carefully and tenderly. Igneel had left his hand on Natsu's shoulder this whole time, fingers squeezing him slightly as Igneel continued to search Natsu's face. "Why what?" Natsu asked, head cocking to the left and small eyebrows furrowing. Why was Igneel acting so weird?
"Why'd ya make me something? I love it, don't get me wrong kid this is going on the front mantle. But... why'd you make it in the first place?"
"So you won't get rid of me." Natsu said simply, growing restless when Igneel's body froze and his eyes grew into large circles.
" Natsu , how could you ever think I'd wa-" Igneel asked in a hushed voice, grip tightening on Natsu's shoulder and making the boy stumble closer.
"'Cus I overheard ya talkin' to Uncle Meti," Natsu interrupted, looking at his feet as he kicked at the wooden floorboards. "He was sayin' that Shavin's Breath was helping him 'round the shop and that at least he was putting in the time, a-and then I heard ya say you didn't know w-why you were keepin' me 'round and I-" he choked up, Natsu lifting a small hand to scrub at his eyes as he continued to avoid looking at Igneel. "I don't wanna leave," he whispered to the floor, "I k-know I get in the way and th-that I'm annoying and loud and ya didn't have to t-take m-me in, but I can do stuff too!" He looked up at Igneel suddenly, eyes passionate and watery and making Igneel jump back by a fraction.
"I, I can learn shit! I can build and help and practice magic like you and Ze! I can be useful!" Natsu stared up at Igneel after he had finished, tear trails running down his cheeks and nose snotty from the raw emotions, but his young eyes were serious and a little bit pleading.
It was Natsu's turn to be shocked when Igneel sat the statue on the ground gently before pulling Natsu into a crushing hug, the boy blinking rapidly as his face was pressed into part of Igneel's hair.
"Uh-umm, what are you doin'?" Natsu asked slowly, arms remaining by his side as the seconds ticked by. He grunted -because boys do not squeak, no matter how young they are, and especially not Natsu- when Igneel tightened his hold on him, one hand gripping Natsu's head and holding the boy against his chest.
"Natsu, you listen real good right now, 'kay?" Igneel asked in a rough voice, Natsu nodding mutely, confused and feeling uneasy by the sudden tension in Igneel and his strange behaviour. "Never, never think that I don't want you. You're part of my coven now, got it? You have been since that day a year ago when I found you, and you always will. Havin' you 'round made me realize how much I was missin' in my life before, and I'm grateful everyday I'm with ya."
Igneel pulled back then, eyes misty and he wiped the back of one hand across his face before he thumbed at his crooked nose. Natsu's lower lip was trembling as he tried to stop himself from crying more, because men didn't cry and he was gonna be just like Igneel but maybe if Igneel was crying it would be okay for Natsu to as well. Igneel's eyes lit up with an idea, and he tugged the scarf from around his head off in one motion, standing and muttering to himself as he searched his desk for something. Natsu didn't have time to collect himself enough to ask Igneel what he was doing before the man was kneeling in front of Natsu again, match in one hand and scarf in the other.
Natsu watched with wide eyes as Igneel began to mutter an incantation, a white flame lighting suddenly on the match and red smoke rising. Igneel waved the smoke under the scarf a few passes as he continued to repeat the spell before he brought the flame until it was almost touching the white scaly material. A symbol with circles, lines, triangles, and diamonds appeared on the white material as Igneel burned it into the fabric, the entire scarf shining bright red for a few seconds after Igneel blew out the match, the scarf returning to its original colour and all visual trace of magic disappearing with red sparks.
"Happy birthday, Natsu." Igneel said softly as he wound the scarf several times around Natsu's neck. Natsu fisted at the gift, looking down at it in awe before he looked back up at Igneel, speechless. No one had ever given him a present before. "It's enchanted with a symbol for safety, so that whenever you wear it you'll know how much I love you and you'll never have to be scared of bein' alone, 'cus whenever you wear that scarf it'll be like I'm with ya."
"Thanks, Dad." Natsu sobbed before he threw himself at Igneel, arms wrapping tightly around the older man's neck.
"No problem... s-son." Igneel whispered huskily, picking up the statue in one hand and holding the small of Natsu's back with the other as the boy gripped Igneel's middle with his short legs. "C'mon, it's past your bedtime." He muttered, chuckling at Natsu's sullen reply.
" You don't have a bedtime."
"Well I ain't a cute little kid like you," Igneel shot back, laughing loudly as Natsu squirmed in his arm and banged his fists on Igneel's chest.
"I ain't ' cute '," he roared, "I'mma badass like you!"
"Awww, you really think that, don'tcha brat? I got the cutest son in the world!" Igneel crowed, putting the statue on the side table beside the stairs when Natsu started to yank on his hair and face. Igneel pressed his fist into Natsu's hair and gave him a noogie, the two falling to the floor in a scuffle as Natsu continued to fight him.
"I ain't fuckin' cute old man!"
"Where'd you learn that foul mouth?" Igneel lectured, Natsu squirming from his hold and climbing onto his back, Igneel trying to keep a disapproving look even as he caught Natsu by the back of his shirt and brought him to dangle in front of Igneel's face.
"Where'd you think?" Natsu huffed, feet kicking in the air futility. Igneel eyed his pouting for a moment after Natsu folded his arms in front of his chest and tucked his nose into his new scarf.
"You wanna see me work on a new spell?" Igneel asked, cocking an eyebrow when Natsu's head jerked up, eyes filled with excitement and childish wonder.
"Really?" Natsu asked eagerly, forgetting about Igneel's hold on his scruff momentarily.
"Would I offer otherwise?" Igneel snorted, placing Natsu on his shoulders and tilting his head back to look up at the young boy. "Come on, maybe we can fu-mess around with Uncle Meti's sh-stuff while we're in the shop." He winked conspiratorially up at Natsu, the young boy bouncing in excitement and grinning down impishly at his father.
"Well what're you waitin' for, Dad? Let's go!"
"Dad?"
Pain burned through Natsu, fire hotter than anything he had ever created or felt before seemingly trying to use his blood as it's fuel. He clawed at his skin, particularly the center of his back where the pain originated from. He twisted in his sheets, sweat making the thin cotton stick to his overheating skin and curls of steam leaving his body when the cool air struck him.
"Dad?" Natsu called again, rasp barely audible as he gasped for breath when another surge of pain tore through him. Vision returned to him in patches, edges blurred every time he was conscious enough to understand what he was seeing. His door was open, light from the hallway flooding into his room. Natsu threw his body onto his side, fisting at the pillowcase as he struggled to push his chest off the bed. If he got to the door maybe his father could help him...
Natsu looked down and screamed when he felt another pulse of pain hit him, this time running along his spine and the base of his skull. His eyes focused after a few seconds, and Natsu felt any pain that remained in him fade to a dull white noise at what he saw before him.
"D-Dad?" Natsu whimpered, using his hands to pull him to the edge of his single bed. "Come on Dad, get up." He sobbed. Igneel laid on the ground with his limbs splayed around him uselessly, his vibrant red hair covering his face partially so that Natsu couldn't see his eyes. With the pain fading to static came the return of other senses, and he almost wished for the all-consuming torture to come back.
The scent hit Natsu and he retched beside his bed, everything in his stomach hitting the floor and the acidic scent of his bile mixing in his nose with the scent of charred flesh. Igneel's forearms were burnt all the way to the elbow, skin blistered and blackened, Igneel's fingers frozen in a casting position. Those fingers that Natsu had watched work on such delicate spells and statues and metalwork for 7 years...
"IGNEEL" Natsu screamed, body contorting in agony as the fire returned, spreading like a poison from his protection tattoo. He had to help, he had to do something . He hit the ground with a thud and he forced his arms and legs to make him crawl the few feet to where Igneel laid in the center of his room, collapsing on the man's chest as pain made Natsu lose his vision and dry heave, nothing left inside to throw up. "Igneel, pl-please, wake up. You ca-can't leave me. Please." Natsu begged, forehead resting on his father's chest and a fresh sob ripping from him when he heard no heartbeat, felt no rise or fall of his chest.
"No no no no no," Natsu whimpered to himself, shaking his head in denial and gripping desperately at Igneel's shirt. The pain in his blood had faded, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of his heart breaking and his soul being ripped to shreds inside him. Movement to his side caught his attention, and Natsu blinked tears from his eyes as a dark shadow slipped out his open window, curtains fluttering in the late summer breeze.
"Get back here you bastard!" Natsu cried, unable to leave Igneel's body both due to pain and shock. "Zeref! I'll kill you, you hear that! Why couldn't you just leave me alone? We were happy! I was happy ..." His voice dropped to a whisper as he looked down at Igneel again. Sobs tore through his chest and he collapsed on Igneel's body once more, clinging to him. A part of Natsu kept waiting for Igneel to put his arms around him and hold him like he used to when Natsu had nightmares. "I'll kill him," Natsu whimpered to himself.
If it was the last thing he did.
"Hello Natsu."
Natsu bolted up, hands shaking and hyperventilating.
"If you're tryin' to get me to kill you that's a hell of a way to get started." Natsu growled, gaze sweeping until he saw what he was looking for. Zeref.
"Well you're not wrong," Zeref said, tone almost amused and lips twitching as though they were about to form a smile. Instead though, his pale features returned to their neutral indifference, bangs falling into his piercing red irses. "But if I were you I'd be focusing on more pressing matters."
"And what the fuck would that be?" Natsu snarled, rising on shaking legs and slowly stepping towards his brother. He froze when Zeref lifted his hand from the sleeve that fully hid it, ancient looking rob black and adorned with gold embroidery on the edges, white sash on his left shoulder and wrapping loosely over his middle in many layers, the only thing separating his body from the death-like blackness that folded in with his heavy cloaks swimming around his feet. Natsu's fist clenched painfully as he watched Zeref's hand rise slowly to rub at his temple hidden under loose black bangs. The dark haired man tutted as he shook his head, disappointment clear in his madness hazed gaze.
"How quickly you forget about those you claim to love," he sighed, motioning with his chin to the ground by his feet. Panic closed Natsu's throat as familiar blonde hair covered the face of the kneeling girl beside Zeref's feet. With a calm hand Zeref reached down and yanked at the girl, forcing her to stand and pulling her head back to reveal her face in one motion. She cried out in fear and pain, hands holding the hair between Zeref's hold and her scalp. "Really Natsu, your priorities have never made sense to me. You would think such an asset like her would mean more to you, and yet you still obsess over the dead."
Natsu refused to look at where Zeref motioned with his other hand, already knowing the image of Igneel's body laid between the two brothers.
"Lucy is more than an assest and Igneel wa- is my father. If you had an ounce of humanity or sainty inside of your fucked up head you'd get it." Natsu hissed, inching closer and reaching a hand to Lucy, all while never taking his eyes from Zeref's.
"Possible," he relented, shaking Lucy through his grip on her and lifting her so that her toes barely touched the ground. Natsu couldn't tell where they were, the scene shifting constantly from alley ways to living rooms to ancient mystic huts to blackness. "But, oh Natsu, if only you could understand. There's so many things to be created, to play with. Just think about what we could do with her magic, with her blood." Zeref hummed, eyeing Lucy's throat wistfully and a flicker of a gleeful smile making Natsu's blood run cold.
"Don't you fuckin' touch her, you psychotic bastard." Natsu warned, body twitching in his place for fear that any movement too large would make Zeref act.
"Where'd you learn that foul mouth?" Zeref asked in a teasing tone, eyes kind as they slid from Lucy to Natsu.
"DON'T YOU SAY THOSE WORDS!" Natsu screamed, catching himself when Zeref rose an eyebrow with muted pleasure. "Don't you dare fuck with my head and take what was his. He didn't deserve that, any of it." He said in a quieter tone, voice just as cutting as before.
"And whose fault was that, Natsu? Who brought him his death other than you? You sealed his fate the day you ran from our family." Zeref said cooly, eyes tight as he stared down Natsu.
"Igneel was my family." Natsu whispered, unable to look away from Igneel's body any longer. Tears pricked his eyes and he ripped his gaze away, looking at Zeref once more.
" I am your family." Zeref seethed, Natsu flinching under the rage and madness in his eyes, black rings standing out in the pulsing red of the irises before he calmed down. He looked at Natsu with pity before he turned to Lucy with disdain pulling his lip up by a fraction. "Not this Soulmate or a Bonded. Who would have thought it was even possible for a being like you to have one?" Zeref mused out loud, ignoring Natsu's panicked call as he brought his hand up to touch Lucy's cheek softly, tracing the outline of her jaw with his index finger.
"Lucy!" Natsu cried, stepping forward with one foot. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, tears streaking her pale cheeks but no rotting green filling her veins.
"I'm your family now Natsu, you'll never have to be alone. I love you." She whispered, grinning weakly at him when Natsu felt his lower lip tremble.
"Impressive," Zeref hummed thoughtfully as he looked at Lucy studiously. "Even in my world she is not completely under my control."
"Your world?" Nasu choked out. "Bu-but this is my dream. Nothing that happens here can affect anyone but me."
Zeref rolled his eyes and smiled condescendingly at Natsu, humor in his red eyes making Natsu's stomach roll in horror. "How are you still this unaware? You never were able to understand the complexities of our rituals, I suppose. Such a simple child. Ah well, some things don't change. No Natsu, this is my world, inside your head. Anything that happens here will affect those I bring into it. For example," Zeref sighed tiredly, hand moving quicker than his eyes could follow to release her hair and grip her neck. "This."
Natsu howled like a dying animal when he watched Zeref twitch his wrist, sickening crack echoing through whatever space they were in and Lucy's body going slack, eyes wide in shock even as they drained of light.
"No no no no no," Natsu whimpered, eyes fixated on Lucy's clouding ones. Carelessly Zeref tossed her body aside, dull thump sounding as she struck a wall and collapsed to the ground. Not again. This wasn't happening, Zeref was lying. Not real not real not real.
Black tendrils spread from Zeref's sleeves as he lifted his arms to his sides, pale finger tips standing bright amongst the darkness surrounding them. Natsu broke into a sprint, over Igneel, under Zeref's embrace. He had to get to Lucy. She couldn't... she wasn't...
"C'mon Luce. Y-you gotta... Lucy..." Natsu weeped, cradling her body against his chest and running his shaking hand through her hair. He pulled her tightly against his body, her skin cool already and hair still smelling of her vanilla and honey shampoo as Natsu buried his face into the crown of her head. A heavy weight settled on his shoulder, blackness seeping into his vision and stealing his senses again as Zeref's voice floated through his mind even as Natsu fell into unconsciousness.
"Come home, Natsu."
"Lucy!"
Natsu was frantic as he fell from the couch, stumbling as he tried to right himself and his knees gave out. He had to get to her, Zeref had been lying. It wasn't real she was okay it wasn't real.
"Natsu, Natsu what's wrong?" Happy called anxiously, sleep fogged and scared by Natsu's sudden movements. Natsu ignored the small cat's call, grabbing his scarf from where it laid on the floor, having been pushed from around his head sometime in his sleep Natsu guessed.
"She's alive she's alive," Natsu kept chanting to himself, leaving his door open and unlocking Lucy's with a flick of his wrist, magic responding automatically to his wishes without spells or runes or even concentration on the witch's part. He reached out with his magic, leaning against the doorway and clutching at his heart when he felt the soothing pulse of Lucy, her magic so amazingly large but gentle that Natsu didn't know how he had missed it at first. He felt it twine soothingly with own, Natsu's eyes sliding shut as he focused on the fact that it meant she was alive.
His feet moved without thought, sending him stumbling into her room and crawling on her bed, scooping her into his arms as he sat with his back to the headboard and sobbed.
"Na-Natsu, what's goin' on?" Lucy rasped, sleep still in her eyes and drool in the corner of her lips and chest rising and falling because she was alive .
"I'm sorry oh Gods I'm sorry Luce, he...he... A-and I couldn't stop it and it was my fault everything is my fault if you get hurt or ki- my fault," Natsu sobbed, burying his face into her hair as he cried and trying to surround himself with her.
Lucy was silent as she hugged him back tightly, hands rubbing calming circles into his back and gentle coos and words of assurance making Natsu take ragged breaths as he tried to collect himself.
It had been too much, reliving the memories of his father and then the talk with Zeref. He knew he was scaring Lucy but he couldn't talk just yet, he just needed to hold her, hear her breathe and listen to her heartbeat, strong and steady.
Lucy shifted in his arms and a fresh wave of panic flared in him, Natsu tightening his hold on her and tangling his fingers in her hair to hold her face to his shoulder. Her hands ran up and down his arms in gentle strokes, Lucy speaking in a soft tone.
"Shhh, shhh Natsu. I'm just trying to get more comfortable. It's okay, I'm not leaving. It's all going to be alright." Natsu relaxed as she whispered into his skin, nodding with silent tears and he forced his arms to loosen around Lucy. She stayed in his lose hold as she pulled him down to the bed, Lucy propped slightly on her pillows and Natsu tucked under her arm. He curled into her side, chin resting on her breast and arms firmly wrapped around her waist. She stroked his hair tenderly as he calmed down more, cooing as small shivers still raced along his tight muscles every few minutes.
Natsu made to move away from Lucy's embrace but was stopped by her, settling back into her side after a few seconds. He was ashamed to have broken down in front of her, he had put her in enough danger just by being beside her, he didn't want to add his emotional bullshit onto it. More silence filled the room while Lucy continued to run her hands through his hair and along his arm. It struck Natsu that Happy wasn't here, and he was thankful that the cat had stayed behind in his apartment.
"Sorry," Natsu croaked, shrinking into her side with a small smile as she made a chastising noise. Vanilla hung like a cloud in his mind, easing him to complete relaxation. With his scarf in his hands and Lucy hugging him so lovingly Natsu felt safe .
It had been a long time since he truly felt safe .
Lucy's fingers started to play idly with his, intertwining and coming apart, gentle brushes outlining his tattoos before her thumb rubbed small circles into the multiple light scars that covered his knuckles. He watched her pale and delicate fingers move with his own tanned and calloused ones, a flashback making him flinch as he envisioned her pale hand curled lifelessly as her body laid in a heap where Zeref had thrown her after bre-
"Tell me about your tattoos." Lucy said suddenly, Natsu stopping his whimpering that he didn't remember starting in the first place. He blinked rapidly to clear his eyes of the fresh tears, taking a wet breath deeply to compose himself.
"Yeah," he mumbled, shifting their positions once more. Now Natsu was sitting up fully and leaning against the mountain of pillows and her dark wooden headboard, Lucy's back pressed tightly against his chest and her knees drawn up partially in between his own bent legs. His elbows propped themselves on his knees so his hands could hang loosely in front of Lucy, her slim digits resuming the earlier fiddling with his.
"What does this one mean?" Lucy questioned as her index finger ran along the pommel of Natsu's right thumb. A version of a fire manipulation rune, three horizontal ovals of descending size leading to two shallow wavy lines which sat directly above an upside down triangle with lines that extended shortly past the lowest apex, sat below a large triangle with a single line running parallel through it's left side. All this was bordered by a double ringed circle that sat beneath the overlaying rune.
"This's a fire creation rune," Natsu explained, moving his hand to show off the other four tattoos on the insides of his fingers on his right hand, Lucy touching each as he spoke. "Then there's a fire protection, heat protection, fire manipulation, and a strength rune." The first was two upside down triangles with a double line down their center. The second a double line slanted and used as the right side of two upside down triangles, the lower triangle's lines extending past their joints and the left side double lined as well with two close lines parallel to the first double line extending from the bottom double line. The third was a fire manipulation without the excess sealing part, and the final rune on the inside of his pinky was two ovals intersecting at the lower quarter with a smaller oval floating just above the right edge of the cross.
"This one's different than the one on your right," Lucy noted, taking his left hand with both of her own and running her thumbs along his other larger tattoo. He nuzzled into her hair with a smile, breathing her in deeply as his eyes closed.
"Nothin' gets past ya," he hummed, kissing her hair sweetly when he sensed her smile. "That one's a heat creation rune. Sometimes fire would be too much to, like, dry shit and stuff, or if I wanna less stress creatin' way to form the metal than heatin' it witha flame." It was similar to the fire creation rune, with the heat protection rune under two ovals of steeply descending length which itself was under a large triangle, this time the right and bottom edge with the parallel lines striking through it. All of this sat on top of a double ringed sealing circle.
"You're so smart," Lucy sighed as she leaned her head against Natsu's shoulder and let it lean towards his face. Natsu couldn't help the dry laugh that fell from his lips, eyes pinched as he stared at his hands intertwined once more with Lucy's.
"I really ain't Luce. Ya hear how I talk, and I never actually went to school, let alone got a degree. I ain't intelligent or good with words and people, like you are. I'm just some hermit witch who lives alone with his familiar and has a crappy online business that barely pays the rent. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waitin' for you to wake up and see how much better you can do. How much better you deserve." Natsu sighed heavily, biting his tongue when he realized he had vocalized his thoughts. He was always too caught up in his own thoughts after an episode, one of the reasons why he hid even from Happy after a bad one.
Her grip tightened harshly on his hands, Natsu keeping any hint of pain to himself. "Natsu Dragneel if I ever hear you put yourself down like that again I will sit you down and force you to write out all of your amazing qualities. You understand?" She asked in a quiet voice, shoulders tense as she looked at their joined hands as well.
"I love you Lucy," Natsu whispered as he felt his eyes prick again, hugging her tightly to his body and burrowing his face in her shoulder.
"I love you too Natsu, more than I think you know." Lucy sighed, resting her cheek on his head. Silence filled the room as they stayed wrapped in each other's presence, comfort and love and the fledgling of hope surrounding them like a cocoon. "So tell me about your other tattoos, bad boy." She teased, cuddling into Natsu's bare chest, taking the scarf that laid beside her and winding it around his neck in a loose single loop.
Natsu snorted at her nickname for him, eyeing her humorously as she blinked at him innocently, faint smile lifting the corner of her full lips. "Does that mean I'm a phase?" He joked, tucking a strand of golden bed head behind one of her ears as Lucy brought her finger to tap on her lower lip in thought.
"Depends," she said slowly, "do phases last for someone's entire life? Because if they do then yes." Natsu grinned broadly at her, rubbing his nose against hers and humming when Lucy pressed her lips to his softly. "But I wasn't joking before, I really do want to know what your tattoos mean, Natsu." Lucy breathed seriously as she pulled away, one hand cupping his jaw tenderly. Her chocolate eyes were calm and loving, Natsu losing himself momentarily as he felt her warmth sooth the ache inside him he had learned to ignore.
"Well, you've seen my dragon. He's for my dad, I started him on Igneel's death day in honour of him. And then there's the healin' rune on the back of my neck, and then a series with fire protection, fire storage, 'nother fire manipulation, fire creation, and increased healing down my ribs to help me eat and breath fire," Natsu felt shivers run through him as Lucy trailed her fingertips along his new markings, pausing on each rune when Natsu gave the meaning.
"What about your scales?" Lucy asked as her skimmed her hand to his other side, tracing the outline of few of the scales and avoiding his gaze. Natsu would have smirked at the pretty red that was crawling up Lucy's neck if his ears hadn't been burning just as much.
"Ahh, yeah. I got them 'cus people kept calling me the Salamander and I wanted to spite 'em." Natsu said, lips twitching into a sharp smirk at Lucy's dry laugh.
"Why'd they call you the Salamander?" She questioned, hand resting flat on Natsu's abs. Natsu ignored the subtle placement with a sly raise of his eyebrow. He coughed awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head as he mumbled his answer. "What was that?" Lucy prodded, impish glow igniting in her soulful eyes.
"I said , it's 'cus I tried to do a transformation spell into a dragon and kinda... failed."
" You didn't. "
"You know what, a salamander can get into a lot of shit before it gets caught! I was able to fuck up Gajeel's metal stash and dump his favourite cereal on the floor before he caught me!" Natsu barked sourly, sinking into the pillows as he sulked at Lucy's loud laughter. He gave a resigned smile as he couldn't help but feel his mood lift when he was surrounded by Lucy's tinkling laughter and tiny snorts. "He wouldn't quit callin' me that dumbass name, and then other people thought it was 'cus I was always playin' in fire and then that changed to me havin' a dragon spirit. Which most people think is impossible 'cus people's spirits hafta be an 'actual animal' or some bullshit." Natsu explained, looking down at Lucy when he noticed her curious look.
"You have a dragon spirit?" She asked, parts impressed and intrigued. There was no doubt in her voice, no questioning look and Natsu grinned brightly at her faith in him.
"Yeah, like my ol' man!" He declared proudly, watching as Lucy's eyebrows furrowed and her nose scrunched. "What's that face for, weirdo?" Natsu asked, raising his eyebrows when Lucy answered his question without mentioning his 'weirdo' jab.
"What kind of spirit do I have? Are they likes souls? Are they related to magic? Does it dictate the personality or does it grow from what you already have?" Her questions tumbled out, Natsu waving a hand as he was overwhelmed by her need for answers.
"Whoa Luce, ya needa slow down." He stopped her rambling, grinning subdued by her soft 'sorry' and the quick way she lowered her gaze. He knew that look in her eyes, the one where she thought she was boring or annoying him with whatever she was talking about. "Let's see; I have no idea what kinda spirit ya have 'cus I can't read 'em that well, they're an extension of your soul but not the same thing, everyone has a spirit like everyone has a soul but only people who use magic can see them, and that's way too fuckin' deep of a question for me to answer." He stated, lifting a finger on his right hand for every answer he gave. "I think that was all of 'em!" He said lightly, nudging her shoulder encouragingly when Lucy peeked up at him through her lashes. He beamed down at her when he saw a faint appreciative smile appear, hugging her firmly when she twisted in his embrace and clung to his neck.
"Have I mentioned that I love you yet?" She murmured into his scarf, Natsu's shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
"I think I could stand'a hear it again," he hummed, holding Lucy's gaze when she pulled back and looked him in the eye.
"I'm in love with you, Natsu Dragneel." She stated firmly, voice smooth and unwavering. She settled back into her place tucked under Natsu's chin, voice quiet but bright. "Back to the tattoos."
"Aye sir," he chirped, staring at the ceiling in thought. "There's the protection tat' Igneel gave me on my 13th birthday, fire protection on my lip, sun on my ankle for Igneel, dragon on my calf 'cus it's badass and has a strength rune in it, and Metal Face's present ." Natsu sneered the last one, left ass cheek aching and reminding him of the tattoo he sported there for the last three years. "You don't wanna know," he said flatly when he felt Lucy's smirk on his skin, stopping her from talking again when he felt her take a breath to speak. "I ain't tellin' ya what it is."
"I'll find out somehow." Lucy purred, Natsu rolling his eyes as he realized she was trying to distract him with teasing kisses along his jaw and neck.
"Probably, but not tonight you ain't," he assured, Lucy pouting at his confident tone. "Hey, Luce, what time is it?" Natsu asked in a hushed tone a few minutes later.
"Half after two," the girl mumbled, Natsu cringing at how tired she sounded suddenly.
"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean'ta wake you up, I'll let ya sleep next ti-" Natsu apologized, cut off with a yelp as Lucy pinched his shoulder.
"Next time you wake up with a panic attack you will do the exact same thing and come to me. I am your girlfriend Natsu, it is officially my job now to look after your mental health because I know you sure as hell aren't going to and you're too precious to me to see you hurt. You don't have to deal with everything alone anymore." She left no room for debate with her blazing tone, arms holding Natsu's middle tightly as if she was expecting him to shake her off. Instead he used one arm to hold her body to his and he scooted their bodies down the bed into a lying position, legs intertwined and Natsu lying on his back with Lucy solidly in his arms.
"'Kay," he whispered in agreement, snort of victory from the girl in his arms making him grin. Sleep crept in on him in a sudden wave, Natsu fighting to keep his eyes open a little longer until he felt Lucy's breathing even out and her body relax partially over his. Vanilla scent soothed any lingering fears of dreams and Lucy's soft breath reminding him of where he was now , and that the future couldn't possibly be all that bad as long as he had her in his life.
A/N; AHAHAHAHA BET YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS PURE FLUFF!
SURPRISE MOFOS THIS IS AN ACTUAL STORY.
angst
I lowkey made myself cry writing and editing some of these scenes whoops.
Also to all my lovely reviewers, have no fear about Gray. I love my tsudere son very much, and he has his own reasons for not trusting Natsu, which I'll hopefully explain. Soon. I hope.
As always, I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say!